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My first fictional story... Critiques welcome!

total-individua

TMF Novice
Joined
Dec 1, 2006
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Take Me

Take Me
by Katje.



"Oh... oh NO!" she half-screamed, half-laughed as she struggled desperately against his strong grasp. “No, please!" she begged again, searching his eyes for a small sign of mercy.

There was none.

As one hand gripped her wrists tightly above her head, the other snaked towards her stomach, and rested there. Just rested there.

With the cool floor against her bare back, and exhausted from the struggle, she gave up and relaxed her arms and legs, which he had straddled to put a stopper to her kicking.

That tension, however, flowed right back the instant she saw his devious brown eyes light up evilly and his hand started to shift from it's resting place on her stomach to the smooth, and very sensitive, hollows of her hips.

Agonizingly slow circles began tracing around the skin, causing her to pause her begging and begin giggling breathily.

She shivered beneath his cool touch as his hand hungrily explored her body, seeking out her most sensitive areas and remaining there a few moments before skipping quickly to another area; all the while, his eyes burned into hers and she laughed helplessly.

Finally, to her relief, the hand left her body before she became frantic. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, wriggling her slim figure beneath his brawny one, trying to get rid of the feeling of fingers that lingered, long after the touch had left.
Suddenly, her eyes snapped open to the sound of a click. She looked up at her hands and gaped in horror at the shiny, very solid handcuffs which now adorned both her wrists and the leg of the bulky kitchen table.

"Now it's time to begin the real fun," he intoned ominously, letting both hands trail down from hers, leaving devastatingly tingly feelings on her arms.

Over, and over, he repeated the motion, leaving her more and more sensitive to the touch until the point came where she screamed with ticklish agony at the slightest touch on her tense, sweating body.

Again he stopped and lifted his hands away from her; and again she fooled herself into thinking it was over.

She twitched violently as she again felt his soft fingers coming into contact with her wrists and began their rhythmic descent down her arms, this time not stopping at her shoulders, but carrying on, past them, into the patch of nerves that resided under her arms.

Again he began tracing the small circles she had grown to hate.

She groaned at the touch, he glanced down to see her grinding her hips against his lower stomach, and smiled, making his hands travel further down, ever-so-slightly, to make the same little tickles just above her ribs.

This provoked a violent reaction, she shrieked and increased the speed and voracity at which she pulled at her bonds.

After feeling his fingers dance around her skin for what seemed like an eternity, he stopped again.

She dared to open her eyes and stared fearfully into his. He broke their gaze only for a moment and he pulled his shirt over his head, before bending down to kiss her on her forehead, nose, lips, neck, bosom, navel, before returning to her lips and kissing them with a passion previously restricted to the heavens. She hungrily returned it, and attempted weakly to pull her arms down from their predicament so she could embrace him, worship him, make love to him.

"Oh no," he crooned, "Not yet you're not."

Yet again he ran his hands all over her body. Hands that had once inflicted such intense suffering now soothed her as all worry and uncertainty left her. Goosebumps rose on her skin, before sinking as quickly as they came.

He removed her handcuffs, after first undoing her jeans and slipping them down her thighs. The smell occurred to both of them simultaneously - the smell of lust for another.

"Take... me," she breathed into his ear, and she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer to her.



"Take me."
 
Last edited:
Phenomenal

One of the best works of fiction I have read here- how did this piece avoid comment from every single member of TMF? Remarkable! Please, please, please write more.
 
Great stuff.

Wow. Less is more, simple yet effective...pick your cliche. That was fantastic.
 
Katje,

FindingThePlace and TickleMantis are definitely correct in their assessment of your story and after reading it myself I would be remiss in not adding my thoughts. This really was a wonderful story and I am glad that it was brought back to the top as I am one of many who missed it at its original posting.
This was a quick and exciting read. I loved the upperbody tickling and the never ending teasing. Will there be more stories from you? I for one hope so!

Regards,
Nicole <<<<----
 
Absolutely agree with Embraceabl! I can't believe I missed this, thank heavens for those wonderful members who recognize gold when they see it and bump! :bump:

Keep up the good work, and give us more, please!

Mistress Aura :justlips:
 
There's a poetic beauty to this piece of writing. I almost didn't notice a co-worker coming over...
 
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