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My first story! f/f-ff/mm

oneinamillion

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Apr 27, 2007
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Hello. This is my first posting to the site, and my first posting ever relating to tickling. I hope you enjoy my story. I'd love to hear any comments/criticism anyone has. I'll be writing more...as long as the feedback is predominantly positive. :)

Thanks. :wavingguy



The Playful Mermaids




“I’m going to get you! I’m going to get you!” taunted Seafaire. She was enjoying an afternoon swimming around her little sister, Harpsen, teasing her with wiggling fingers and quick tickles. “Stay still so I can tickle you some more!”

Harpsen was swimming as fast as she could, but was still no match for her big sister. She knew she was being toyed with; at any given moment Seafaire could swim circles around her and trap her, having her ticklish way with her. It had happened many times before. Still, she felt the need to at least try to escape.

“Please Seafaire, NO! I’ve had enough of this…AHH!” Seafaire was on her again, slipping her fingers under Harpsen’s arms and tickling like crazy.

“Tickle tickle tickle!” she teased. “Aw, I think little sissy is ticklish…but we better make sure!” With that, she swam around and around her little sister, circling every which way, tickling her underarms, sides, and taking swipes at the end of her tail, when she could. It was more tickling than Harpsen could take.

“Ah hahahahahahanopleeeeeeeeeahahahahaha! Stop! HAHAHAHAHAnomore! HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHEEHEEHAHAHAHAIcan’ttakeitHAHAHAHAHASTOP!” begged Harpsen. She hated the ticklish feelings all over her body, but her sister didn’t seem concerned. Seafaire loved to make Harpsen laugh, who had succumbed to more than her fair share of tickle torture, but it just never seemed too get old to Seafaire.

Harpsen felt wiggling fingers slide up her torso and back under her arms. That was her second most ticklish spot.
“NONONOAHAHAHAHAHAHNAONONAHAHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHPLEEASEEPLEASEESNONSONSOSHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAONONNONONOTICKLHAHAHANOTICKLIAHAHAHAHOHOHOHNOTICKLINGNOMORETICKLING!!!” She pleaded to no avail.

“Oh poor baby!” Seafaire smiled hugely as she tickled and tickled her little sister. She knew just how to tickle her underarms, firmly and quickly yet softly, not causing pain, just tickling. She didn’t realize, but her ticklish ruckus was causing quite a bubbly commotion in the water…

“What do you suppose it is?” asked Phil. He and his buddy had been fishing all morning, when they slowed down to view some strings of bubbles coming up from the bottom.

“I don’t know. Maybe a few fish playing around, or something. It seems pretty steady, whatever it is,” noted Steve. “Want to go check it out? I don’t think the water’s that deep here.”

Phil concurred and hoisted the anchor up on the side of the fishing boat. It wasn’t a huge boat, or a huge anchor, but it would do the job. With a heave, he threw it off the side and watched it splash down into the water.

By this time, Harpsen was going a little crazy. Seafaire was still tickling her, still swimming around and around her, poking at her ribs, frantically flailing her fingers under her arms, and gliding her hands up and down her exposed stomach. The verbal teasing never stopped, either.

“Oooh, little fishy tickle tickle! I wove to wiggle my fingers on your wittle tickle belly! Hee hee! Tickle tickle you ticklish little…HARPSEN LOOK OUT!” Seafaire yelled, but it was too late. While swimming under her sister, she glanced up towards the surface, only to notice a large object speeding down in their direction. Harpsen was too dizzy to do much, but she managed to turn just in time to feel the weight of the anchor push her down the few feet it was to the bottom, and pin her face-up in a sparse patch of ocean rocks.

Seafaire swam frantically down to check. She saw her sister struggling under the weight of what she realized was an anchor.

“Oh, Harpsen. Gosh, are you alright?” She went to her sister’s side to assess the situation.

“I think I’m okay, yes. This thing is heavy, but the rocks are sort of holding it up. It’s not actually on me, but I’m stuck,” she demonstrated by trying to escape and waving her tail fin all around. Only her head and tail could move. Her arms and the rest of her body were trapped. She watched her sister stare at her for a moment, then got impatient. “Seafaire…can you get me out of here please?!?”

She was torn. She wanted to get her sister out, but she couldn’t help but notice her waving tail fin. As much as she liked to tickle, getting a chance to tickle a mermaid’s tail fin was very difficult. One, it was very flexible, and hard to catch, and second, it was slippery, and almost impossible to grasp and hold for a decent tickling session. Since Seafaire knew her sister was okay, and she was pretty sure she could get her out, this could be the opportunity of a lifetime.

“I’ll get you out, dear sister,” Seafaire dawned a mischievous smile, “but first things first. Do you know what this thing is?”

“What…what does that have to do with anything? Just get me out!”

“No no no, it’s important to know these things, and now is a perfect time to learn,” said Seafaire.

Her sister stared at her in disbelief, but sighed and saw no choice but to play along. “Umm, it’s those heavy things from boats, right? An…ankey…anchor! It’s an anchor,” Harpsen said, quite proud of herself.

“That’s right!” said Seafaire. “It’s what stops a boat from floating all around when humans are on the water.”

“That’s great…can I get out now?” she asked.

“Not yet. Do you know why you find yourself in such a predicament?” asked Seafaire.

“Umm, no. I was trying to avoid your tickle torture, and by the time I knew what was going on it was too late…why?” Harpsen asked, getting suspicious.

“You find yourself in this predicament,” Seafaire continued, “because you should have just given in. It’s out of respect for your elder sister that when she wants you to do something, you should just do it.”

“What? You mean I should just let you tickle me silly? Oh, that’s a great idea. I’ll just throw my arms over my head and you can poke and tickle my tummy all day long. Heck, I’ll ask around, to see if anyone else wants to join in the fun,” Harpsen said while getting hot under the collar. “Will you just LET ME OUT OF HERE!” she yelled while struggling with all her might.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Seafaire said while drifting down to where she was right in front of her sister’s tail. Harpsen’s eyes grew large and she started shaking her head back and forth.

“Seafaire. No.”

“There’s a lesson to be learned here,” said her sister. She raised her hands and stretched out her fingers, making sure Harpsen could see.

“Oh please no. You can’t.” Her tail had never felt so vulnerable.

“Lessons are an important part of life. The more you learn, the better off you’ll be!”

“SEAFAIRE NO PLEASE DON’T NO YOU CAN’T PLEASE DON’T TICKLE MY TAI-”

“I think it’s my duty,” she grinned as she touched the very tips of her sister’s tail fin.

Harpsen closed her eyes and bit her lip, trying not to give away how much that slight feeling tickled her. The fin was her least ticklish spot, but she’d still be squirming all over if she could move. Seafaire slowly dragged her index finger and thumb along the perimeter, as though sealing a plastic bag. She smiled and watched her sister squeeze her eyes shut and shake her head back and forth. She knew that tickled…that tickled big time.

Seafaire then used all ten fingers to fan up and down her sister’s fin, going from bottom to top and back again. When she’d reach the top, Harpsen would almost gasp out loud, it tickled so much, but when she got back to the bottom, she could hold in her breath. Seafaire teased her like this for a few minutes, just gliding her hands up and down, watching her sister’s face shake wildly and then calm, over and over again and again.

With a wicked smile on her face, Seafaire decided it was time to party. She stopped fanning her fingers all over her sister’s fin until Harpsen opened her eyes to peek, so she would see her sister wiggle her right-hand fingers near one side, and wiggle her left-hand fingers near the other, and before any verbal protest could occur, she started tickling the very tip of the tail, right above the fin. The effect was immediate and extreme.

“WAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHANONONONONAOHAHONNONHNOANHAHNONONAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!” cried Harpsen as the ticklish sensations shocked her body. The bottom of her tail was the most ticklish part of her entire body, and since it was so infrequently tickled, she had no idea how bad a solid tickle attack would be, but she didn’t think it would be like this. As she laughed and laughed, she strained against her anchor prison, but couldn’t move. Her sister watched with wonder as Harpsen bucked and screamed with laughter, all due to the slightest tickling from her fingers. The touch was so soft, but the reaction so incredible, Seafaire was mesmerized by the tickling. She still had enough focus to tease her sister, however.

“Wow! I didn’t know you were this ticklish! Oh, little tickle tickle girl! Kitchee kitchee koo. Look at your wittle tail wave back and forth. It’s so cute! Tickle tickle tickle! Hee hee! I’ve never gotten to tickle your tail like this before. Ha ha! I’m just going to tickle you all day long!” She stared at her sister’s tail, watched her own fingers tickle her silly, and felt the scaly, super ticklish flesh. Of course, by this time, Harpsen was out of her mind.

“PLEAEAHAHAHAHAHPLLLEEEAAAHAHAHAHAPLEASESTOPAHAHAHAHA! NOMOREHAHAHAHAHOHOHNONONAHAHAOHAHAOAOAHAHOHOHOHOMOREHAHAHANOTMYTAILNONONNOHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEEHEHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHHAHASTOPSTOPPLEASESTOPPPHAPHAHAPAPAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAITTICKLEITTICKLESSTOPPPHAPHAHAHAANOMORETICKLINAHAHANOMORENHAHANTICKLINGHAHAHAHAPPPLELELEEAAHAHAHSESESESHAHAHAH!!!” Despite all the begging and pleading for the merciless tickling to stop, Harpsen felt nothing but tickling fingers all over her insanely ticklish tail. There was nothing she could do but be consumed by the tickling, throw her head back, and laugh and laugh.

Seafaire heard a splash somewhere over their heads, and knew she her sister’s tickle torture had made her lose track of time. She wasn’t sure if an anchor meant scuba divers were definitely on the way or not, so she didn’t think too much about it. Apparently she figured wrong. She knew humans would be swimming down soon, so it was time to go. She stopped tickling her poor sister.

“Harpsen, we have to go! Humans are coming! Here, let me free you from that thing,” she said as she swam over her delirious sister and pulled with all her might at one side of the anchor, which slowly but surely lifted up enough for Harpsen to drunkenly wiggle out. The tickle torture of her tail left her light headed and silly, and she was still giggling when her sister took her by the wrist and led her quickly away to hide behind a large rock.

Not too long after, Seafaire saw two men swimming close by. She peered curiously around the corner of the rock, making sure she was not seen, and also making sure her tickled-silly sister didn’t make too much noise. The men didn’t have scuba tanks; just snorkels, swimming trunks and swimming fins. Seafaire thought the water must be more shallow than she assumed. No scuba gear meant the men were practically naked. They didn’t have any hoses or spears or anything that might injure curious mermaids. She also knew they would be going back up to the surface very soon. She got an idea.

“Harpsen…Harpsen…are you okay?” she whispered to her sister, who’s giggling had just begun to soften. “I have an idea. Do you want to have some fun?”

“Please…please no more…no more tickling.” She was physically helpless despite being free; all her energy was exhausted during her tickle torture session.

“I’m not going to tickle you. Jeez, I’m not a monster. Remember that trick I taught you? The one where you can blow an air bubble in your hand and trap a fish in it, and bounce it around like a ball? I want to try something knew.”

She bent down and whispered to her sister what she had in mind. At first Harpsen was horrified, especially after what she just went through, but then she realized she always wanted to be on the other end of the torture; the one dishing it out, instead of receiving it. She smiled at her sister, and the two of them swam around, careful not to be seen, and gathered up some long strands of seaweed.

The two men had gone up for air, and came back down again by the time the two sisters had accumulated as much as they needed. They planned their sneak attack, and when the time was just right, they sprung upon the two men and wrapped them in the seaweed from head to ankle, and then fastened them to the sea floor, so they were both in a sitting position, wide-eyed and very unsure of what was happening. Seafaire paused in front of one of them, put her fist to her mouth, and blew a large bubble. Harpsen did the same. The two men stared, not believing what they were seeing. The sisters each plopped their respective bubbles on top of the each diver’s head, and then swam down to their fins, and unbuckled them.

Harpsen had never seen human feet up close before. She was confused by the little digits at the top, and the general odd shape of the arch. And they were so big! Her hands could barely cover one foot if she put the tips of her fingers up against the heel of her other hand.

The men exchanged looks of terror at what was going on. One, they didn’t know mermaids existed. Two, they had air bubbles on their heads. And three, they didn’t know what in the world was going to happen next.

Big smiled at her sister, who returned it with a smile of her own, and the two started tickling the men’s feet. Both men instantly tried to jump out of their seaweed chains, but could barely move. They were shocked at the mermaids and at the sudden tickling of their feet. Both men had size 12’s, and both were very ticklish. The sisters tickled and tickled their comparatively small fingers all over the ticklish men’s soles, raking their hands up and down, pausing to tickle the toes Harpsen found so intriguing for an extended period, and then dragging the tickling back down the arches. Both sisters laughed at how the toes wiggled in response to the tickling. Harpsen couldn’t have guessed how much she’d enjoy being the one doing the tickling for a change.

Phil and Steve, however, were going crazy. Getting trapped and tickled on their feet wasn’t on the agenda for the day. With no movement possible, and two mermaids intent on tickling them silly, all they foresaw was a lot of ticklish laughter.

After half an hour, when the men started to grow visibly weary from the tickle torture, the sisters stopped. They undid the seaweed, and let the men sway back and forth as they haphazardly swam towards the surface. Seafaire knew the bubbles would pop when they hit the air. She didn’t think the men posed any threat, as no one they told was sure to believe them. They pointed and laughed at their victim’s departure, and then shook hands and swam off in search of more scuba divers.
 
I like it! You did a really cool thing with the tail fin; trying to imagine a completely foreign tickling sensation was suprisingly good.

Two great things you do with text: one, "watching in fascination" is a very erotic thing for a girl to do when someone's undergoing something intense. Great phrase.

Two, very good job of establishing abstract images through dialogue. I didn't need to read though any complicated narration to know a) exactly the manner in which Harpsen was trapped under the anchor, b) how the bubble-head thing worked, or c) how ticklish mermaids' tails are... you didn't even need to brief us on that fact; Harpsen's desperation explained everything.

The only thing I didn't get was any sense of emotional pull and push between the mermaids and the guys. The mermaids seemed fascinated with their feet, which is cool, but for how enthusiastic Seafaire is about the feelings she's creating in her sister, she didn't seem very interested in the feelings she was creating in the men.

Anyway, I think this is a really wonderful first story. I hope you get to work on your next one soon.
 
I have to say great story. it is very interresting. definatly an original. please post more stories and keep up the good work
 
Oh, and my other definite advice would be to make the name of the thread the title of the story; that has to be the strongest determinant of how many people view it (especially with a title like "The Playful Mermaids").

: )
 
Good advice

Hey Coda,

I hadn't considered the fascination aspect not being balanced both ways. Kind of makes the bigger sister seem a little...weird. Oh well. Better luck next time, I guess.

Thanks for the insight.
 
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