jersey_tickler
2nd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2004
- Messages
- 1,432
- Points
- 36
"Geez, what the hell is your problem”?
Jack and his girlfriend Diane were driving to an open business meeting that Jack’s friend Rich invited him to. It was an Internet business that involved buying products online and signing others up to do the same. Diane was skeptical, thinking it was a pyramid scheme. and felt quite cynical towards it. She was a bright girl, who stood stood 5”7” and had red auburn hair. Today, Diane was dressed in her work clothes which consisted of a red plaid shirt, blue jeans, and her brown cowboy boots. She bartended in a saloon that was part of a old west type tour resort. She had worked earlier today, and was looking forward to relaxing, instead of wasting her time. As Jack, on the other hand was more optimistic, because he didn’t think his best friend of fifteen years would feed him a line of bull and mislead him. After all, Rich had a wife and son, and would never put them in jeopardy. He was a dark haired, handsome, twenty year old kid, who worked in a bank. He wore his navy sweater, with his gray slacks and black dress shoes as he had worked today as well.
“I don’t have a problem, Jack protested Diane, I just don’t want their business”.
“Why, this is our chance to make some more money”?
“Jack, a quick rich scheme is not the way to go, if you would just go back to school-
“It is not a get rich quick SCHEME snapped Jack, who was starting to feel quite angry”. “A B-type business is not illegial or even unethical”. “Sam Walton started a B type business, and the B eventually stood for billionaire as he was the founder of Wal Mart”.
“All I’m saying is that you’d be better off going back to college and getting an education insisted Diane, because that’s the one thing that no one can take away from you”.
“You’re right, the government will just take more of my money with fucking taxes that just higher every fucking year cried Jack.
“Don’t you yell at me like that said Diane raising her voice, I’m your girlfriend and I deserve to be treated with a little respect”.
“Then act like my girlfriend and support me on this stated Jack, and don’t try and sound like my mother”.
Diane was messing with her cell phone, while trying to ignore Jack, but she couldn’t get a signal.
“Dammit she swore, we’re way out of service”. “Jack, can you pull over there so I can use that phone booth”.
“Why not said agreed Jack, I’d call a cab too if I had to deal with an asshole boyfriend”.
“Jack, stop being so immature protested Diane, I swear, sometimes you’re worse than the kids I used to baby-sit”.
Jack angrily slammed on the brakes and put the car in park. Diane got out of the car in a huff.
Walking over to the phone booth, she pulled the hatch shut and put the coins into the machine. She typed in her number and held the receiver to her ear.
Watching from the car, Jack was fuming, he wished Diane would just go away and leave him alone.
Then ironically, a flashing light went off in the booth. When it went away, Jack saw that Diane was gone.
“What the fuck he sputtered, how could, what the hell happened”?
He ran out of his car and looked in the empty booth, where was Diane?
When Diane opened her eyes, she saw that she was still in the booth. The only difference was the background outside the booth, no roads buildings in sight. The grass was even greener than before, the sky was so blue it looked like animationand the sun was a bit dimmed. Getting out of the booth, she walked out and tried to make sense out of what just happened. A couple feet away was a sign that read TICKLE LAND
“What the hell is this retorted Diane, is this some kind of joke”? “Am I dreaming or is this just a figment of my imagination”.
“Far from it" said a voice.
Diane whipped around to see a skinny man in purple suit with matching top hat.
“Who are you supposed to be, Willy Wonka” she said in disbelief.
“He heh heh, no miss, I am just your friendly travel agent for an out of this world experience”. “My name is Irving, this device is my own invention, and I have booths all over different worlds that can take me from Point A to point Z”.
“Why am I here asked Diane, what do you want”?
“I want for you to decide what you want, and where to go from here”?
“How do I know where to go, I don’t know where here is” said Diane.
Irving gave his Cheshire Cat grin, and handed her a piece of brown paper.
“Follow this map, and you won’t get lost”.
“Too late retorted Diane, what is Tickle Land supposed to be”?
“Why, it’s the most harmless realm ever began Irving. “There are the occasional bad apples who resort to violence, but overall everyone is a pacifist”.
“There isn’t a lot of joy in this land, so the majority of citizens indulge themselves in making others laugh for their own pleasures and preferences”.
“And they do this by tickling them" asked Diane?
Irving nodded solemnly.
“That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard snorted Diane, sitcoms may be overrated but even I can find humor on occasion”.
“It may be crazy, but it’s the lay of the land informed Irving, best of luck to you”.
“Wait, where are you going”?
“I have other places to be explained Irving, but we might cross paths again”. “Jack will catch up to you in time, if he can overcome the same similar obstacles that you shall be encountering”.
“So, this map will steer me clear of danger asked Diane?
“If you follow this map, it will lead you to the right booth to get back home answered Irving, and you won’t be harmed”.
“Alright then said Diane, nice talking to you, thanks for the map”.
She headed south, which was the direction on the map for a place called The Foot Woods, which Diane figured was a place where one would have to hike on foot. Little did she know that it meant something else entirely.
Half hour later…
Diane had entered the woods and still hadn’t found one person yet. But she did stop to take a rest, and found a tree stump to sit on. As she caught her breath, she noticed a sign that read T. TUNNELS with an arrow pointing somewhere.
“What could that mean she wondered.
Getting up, she followed the arrow to a huge cave, peering inside she gave a call to see if anyone was inside.
No answer
Curiously, she wandered on in and noticed that the area was fairly lit, but she couldn’t quite make out the entire interior. There was a huge rectangular mine cart on a set of tracks ahead. Then all of a sudden she saw three figures approached her, but she couldn’t make them out
“Hey there, pretty lady, you coming or waiting”?
“Wanna ride, give your hand and we’ll get ya through Tickle Land”.
“Um, okay stammered Diane nervously, how much is the fare”?
“The ride is free, no charge at all, so come with us and have a ball”!
They came closer into the light and Diane’s eyes went wide, they were trolls. They were a foot taller than her, and wore dark tattered clothing, and their faces were rather ugly but not grotesque. Still, she felt uneasy and turned to leave. But it was too late, the three trolls grabbed her and carried her to the mine cart.
“Hey she squawked, put me down, I changed my mind”.
The trolls carried her to the cart, which had shackles and a set of built-in stocks with foot rest intact. Two of them shackled her wrists to the cart, while the third locked her ankles in the stocks.
“Get me out of this, what do think you’re doing”.
“Strapping you in, all nice and tight, be a good girl and don’t fight”.
“Now, you two galoots, don’t forget her boots”.
Two of the trolls seized the heels of her boots and got them off with two tugs.
“Hey, give me back my boots, this isn’t very funNEEEEEEEEEE”!
Her voice turned into a shriek as the cart sped off, her mane of hair blowing with her red stocking feet kicking in frustration.
The trolls high fived and helped themselves to Diane’s boots, by sniffing the insides of them, as trolls have shoe and foot fetishes.
“Mmmmmmmmm, leather” they sighed in unison.
TICKLING NEXT!
Jack and his girlfriend Diane were driving to an open business meeting that Jack’s friend Rich invited him to. It was an Internet business that involved buying products online and signing others up to do the same. Diane was skeptical, thinking it was a pyramid scheme. and felt quite cynical towards it. She was a bright girl, who stood stood 5”7” and had red auburn hair. Today, Diane was dressed in her work clothes which consisted of a red plaid shirt, blue jeans, and her brown cowboy boots. She bartended in a saloon that was part of a old west type tour resort. She had worked earlier today, and was looking forward to relaxing, instead of wasting her time. As Jack, on the other hand was more optimistic, because he didn’t think his best friend of fifteen years would feed him a line of bull and mislead him. After all, Rich had a wife and son, and would never put them in jeopardy. He was a dark haired, handsome, twenty year old kid, who worked in a bank. He wore his navy sweater, with his gray slacks and black dress shoes as he had worked today as well.
“I don’t have a problem, Jack protested Diane, I just don’t want their business”.
“Why, this is our chance to make some more money”?
“Jack, a quick rich scheme is not the way to go, if you would just go back to school-
“It is not a get rich quick SCHEME snapped Jack, who was starting to feel quite angry”. “A B-type business is not illegial or even unethical”. “Sam Walton started a B type business, and the B eventually stood for billionaire as he was the founder of Wal Mart”.
“All I’m saying is that you’d be better off going back to college and getting an education insisted Diane, because that’s the one thing that no one can take away from you”.
“You’re right, the government will just take more of my money with fucking taxes that just higher every fucking year cried Jack.
“Don’t you yell at me like that said Diane raising her voice, I’m your girlfriend and I deserve to be treated with a little respect”.
“Then act like my girlfriend and support me on this stated Jack, and don’t try and sound like my mother”.
Diane was messing with her cell phone, while trying to ignore Jack, but she couldn’t get a signal.
“Dammit she swore, we’re way out of service”. “Jack, can you pull over there so I can use that phone booth”.
“Why not said agreed Jack, I’d call a cab too if I had to deal with an asshole boyfriend”.
“Jack, stop being so immature protested Diane, I swear, sometimes you’re worse than the kids I used to baby-sit”.
Jack angrily slammed on the brakes and put the car in park. Diane got out of the car in a huff.
Walking over to the phone booth, she pulled the hatch shut and put the coins into the machine. She typed in her number and held the receiver to her ear.
Watching from the car, Jack was fuming, he wished Diane would just go away and leave him alone.
Then ironically, a flashing light went off in the booth. When it went away, Jack saw that Diane was gone.
“What the fuck he sputtered, how could, what the hell happened”?
He ran out of his car and looked in the empty booth, where was Diane?
When Diane opened her eyes, she saw that she was still in the booth. The only difference was the background outside the booth, no roads buildings in sight. The grass was even greener than before, the sky was so blue it looked like animationand the sun was a bit dimmed. Getting out of the booth, she walked out and tried to make sense out of what just happened. A couple feet away was a sign that read TICKLE LAND
“What the hell is this retorted Diane, is this some kind of joke”? “Am I dreaming or is this just a figment of my imagination”.
“Far from it" said a voice.
Diane whipped around to see a skinny man in purple suit with matching top hat.
“Who are you supposed to be, Willy Wonka” she said in disbelief.
“He heh heh, no miss, I am just your friendly travel agent for an out of this world experience”. “My name is Irving, this device is my own invention, and I have booths all over different worlds that can take me from Point A to point Z”.
“Why am I here asked Diane, what do you want”?
“I want for you to decide what you want, and where to go from here”?
“How do I know where to go, I don’t know where here is” said Diane.
Irving gave his Cheshire Cat grin, and handed her a piece of brown paper.
“Follow this map, and you won’t get lost”.
“Too late retorted Diane, what is Tickle Land supposed to be”?
“Why, it’s the most harmless realm ever began Irving. “There are the occasional bad apples who resort to violence, but overall everyone is a pacifist”.
“There isn’t a lot of joy in this land, so the majority of citizens indulge themselves in making others laugh for their own pleasures and preferences”.
“And they do this by tickling them" asked Diane?
Irving nodded solemnly.
“That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard snorted Diane, sitcoms may be overrated but even I can find humor on occasion”.
“It may be crazy, but it’s the lay of the land informed Irving, best of luck to you”.
“Wait, where are you going”?
“I have other places to be explained Irving, but we might cross paths again”. “Jack will catch up to you in time, if he can overcome the same similar obstacles that you shall be encountering”.
“So, this map will steer me clear of danger asked Diane?
“If you follow this map, it will lead you to the right booth to get back home answered Irving, and you won’t be harmed”.
“Alright then said Diane, nice talking to you, thanks for the map”.
She headed south, which was the direction on the map for a place called The Foot Woods, which Diane figured was a place where one would have to hike on foot. Little did she know that it meant something else entirely.
Half hour later…
Diane had entered the woods and still hadn’t found one person yet. But she did stop to take a rest, and found a tree stump to sit on. As she caught her breath, she noticed a sign that read T. TUNNELS with an arrow pointing somewhere.
“What could that mean she wondered.
Getting up, she followed the arrow to a huge cave, peering inside she gave a call to see if anyone was inside.
No answer
Curiously, she wandered on in and noticed that the area was fairly lit, but she couldn’t quite make out the entire interior. There was a huge rectangular mine cart on a set of tracks ahead. Then all of a sudden she saw three figures approached her, but she couldn’t make them out
“Hey there, pretty lady, you coming or waiting”?
“Wanna ride, give your hand and we’ll get ya through Tickle Land”.
“Um, okay stammered Diane nervously, how much is the fare”?
“The ride is free, no charge at all, so come with us and have a ball”!
They came closer into the light and Diane’s eyes went wide, they were trolls. They were a foot taller than her, and wore dark tattered clothing, and their faces were rather ugly but not grotesque. Still, she felt uneasy and turned to leave. But it was too late, the three trolls grabbed her and carried her to the mine cart.
“Hey she squawked, put me down, I changed my mind”.
The trolls carried her to the cart, which had shackles and a set of built-in stocks with foot rest intact. Two of them shackled her wrists to the cart, while the third locked her ankles in the stocks.
“Get me out of this, what do think you’re doing”.
“Strapping you in, all nice and tight, be a good girl and don’t fight”.
“Now, you two galoots, don’t forget her boots”.
Two of the trolls seized the heels of her boots and got them off with two tugs.
“Hey, give me back my boots, this isn’t very funNEEEEEEEEEE”!
Her voice turned into a shriek as the cart sped off, her mane of hair blowing with her red stocking feet kicking in frustration.
The trolls high fived and helped themselves to Diane’s boots, by sniffing the insides of them, as trolls have shoe and foot fetishes.
“Mmmmmmmmm, leather” they sighed in unison.
TICKLING NEXT!
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