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Precipice (F/F)

knuxman

Registered User
Joined
Dec 11, 2004
Messages
11
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Hey all, I'm a long-time lurker, but have decided to finally post in the TMF. And after so much admiration given to the greats in the Story section, I've decided to try my hand at it. It's kind of short, I just knocked it out recently. Criticisms are welcome and appreciated, thanks.

Kim’s legs tensed as the backs of her heels clung to the steel bar. She peered below her as it finally stopped wobbling; a rather daunting drop loomed, the bottom littered with maroon rocks and a jade cactus here and there. A bead of sweat slowly ran down her leg from where her aching Achilles tendons began, causing her frame to gently tremble. Despite her supple, light frame, Kim possessed more muscle than the average nineteen-year-old, unfortunately making it difficult for her to stay upright. The fact that she had just scaled a Colorado cliffside basically nullified her efforts, as her arms quaked with hot aches. Silence choked the air as Kim gave up her futile attempts at rescue. As if from thin air, a high-pitched voice calmly remarked from above, “This is quite the pickle, eh kid?”

Pickle?! she thought. More like disaster. My body’s too sore for me to bend up and grab the bar, but I can’t hold this forever. If I can just last long enough to regain my st-- Suddenly she caught herself and shouted, “Wait, who is that? Can you help me out?” Her voice was tinged with anxiety. A frigid zephyr teased her curvaceous frame.

“Jus’ a friend, kiddo,” the faceless woman replied smoothly. Kim heard footsteps clacking towards her perch. Hope and fear simultaneously surged within her. “Comin’ to your rescue, like a good friend should.”

The woman’s accent sounded rather urban, and oddly familiar. Her clacking footsteps ceased, nearly directly over Kim’s curled feet. Kim twisted her neck as far as it would allow, trying to catch a glimpse of this stranger. She blew the red locks from her face, and the sight gazing down upon her sent a spurt of fire through her veins. “Diana! What in the name of God are you doing here? Did you follow me?!” The rage made her voice crack slightly as she quizzed Diana. The pains plaguing her neck briefly ceased as Diana spoke.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘followed.’ More like ‘tracked.’ Makes me sound all Rambo-style.” Diana chuckled at the thought. “Can you imagine me in the jungle? Oh, I would die, what with all the humidity, my hair would look like Al Jero’s. Oh, and the damn bugs…”

Kim’s patience began to thin. “Shut up, you dumb broad! Can’t you see that I’m in need of even a little bit of assistance? Or is that too selfless of you to do?”

Diana’s tirade ceased. She knelt down until her face hovered over Kim’s toes. “Hmph. Well, gee, if you’re going to be that mean, I guess I can just leave. Have a nice time hanging out…”

“No, wait, please, Di. I need to get out of here. My muscles won’t hold out forever,” Kim pleaded. “You’re probably the only person that will come here, ever. I need your help.”

Diana, still planted on her knees, grinned mischievously. “Why, Kim, that’s so nice of you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you admit that you needed anyone’s help, let alone mine.” Kim ground her teeth together as Diana continued, her tone slowly taking on a more sinister air. “Well, alright, I’ll help you get down.”
Down? The word rang in Kim’s head. “No, Di, not down. I want to get back up there. There’s nothing down here, as you can plainly see.” Confused, Kim tried to look back up at her unwanted comrade, but her neck was unable to bend again without sending a bolt of lightning through her nerves. She let it go limp, trying to send every bit of strength to her legs and feet.

“Oh, but there’s only one way I know how to save you, babe. And that’s getting’ you down, the fun way.” Fun way? What is this idiot babbling about?
Just then, Diana took her two rather dainty fingers and lightly squeezed Kim’s middle toe. Kim’s eyes widened as the sensation shot her brain. Her toes wiggled and Diana slowly twirled the toe between her digits. “You’ve gotta loosen up, Kim. Don a nice smile now and then, especially in times like these. All you can do in the face of danger is laugh, after all.” Her nails began softly grazing the underside of her toes. Kim shut her eyes tightly. She couldn’t risk shaking her foot loose of the sensation, lest it slip off the bar; but who knows whether Di was just bluffing, or would actually try and exploit her small weakness? “Tum teedly tum,” Diana cooed. Her other fingers casually danced on the soft sole connected to Kim’s right toes. “I don’t hear any laughing, kiddo. You should take my advice and give a little laugh, it’s almost infectious.”

A groan emitted from Kim. She couldn’t stand the tickling on her foot, but had to keep from laughing. Once she began laughing, mirth would weaken her to the point of letting go. Plus, even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t be able to stop. She began to feel Diana’s nails trace a figure-eight on her arch. More groans resounded as giggles began to well up inside her. Her mouth twitched as it struggled to curl, first as a tiny grin then a rather wide smile. Above her toes wiggled vigorously, trying to ward off the tickling.

Diana’s strokes became slightly harder as she continued her teasing. “Aw, your toesies look so cute, like little piggies.” The thought of pig-shaped toes pervaded Kim’s rather eccentric mind, furthering her struggle against doomed laughter. “I wonder, Kim, are you ticklish?” Diana saw Kim’s head thrashing below, pretending to assume she was shaking a “no.” “Oh come on, girl. Everyone’s a little ticklish.” More head-shaking, more feigned naivety. “Oh, so you don’t mind if I do this?” The pace at which her fingers scratched increased, forcing Kim’s feet to slightly shift apart. Diana could feel them weakening under her torturous touch. Kim vocalized once again, “Mmmmhm hmm hm hmm,” muffled by her clenched lips which slowly began to expose her gleaming teeth.

“Ooh, I think that was a pretty ticklish reaction. Maybe I can make it better for you. Kootchy kootchy koo. Tickle tickle, kiddo. Just relax that grip. You know you wannaaa…” Diana’s voice was practically a tool of its own; her teasing began to magnify the sensations bombarding Kim’s feet. She felt reality slowly slipping away, as, through grinding teeth, a lone titter finally escaped Kim’s mouth.

“Tee hee hee.”

Diana took this chink in the laughter dam as her cue, and dug her nails into both of Kim’s creamy soles. For a moment, all Kim felt were her eyes bulging; then the mirth took over. She burst out laughing, her echoes making it seem as though a choir were being tickled as she was. Her feet began separating further and further as the tickling sucked the power from her muscles. Diana noticed this, and let up on her assault for a stitch. “Hmm, looks like you’re getting the picture, Miss I’m-Not-Ticklish. Let’s see if I can’t finish you up, then.” She quickly began spidering Diana’s heels with her sharp nails. That did it. Through the immeasurable tickling feeling within her and the maniacal cackling she emanated, Kim felt the bar fly out from under her heels, and she felt the air around her quicken. She was speeding toward a quick demise at the bottom of the chasm. And as she fell, only one thought came to her mind: At least the tickling is over.

A white light flash forth as Kim jolted upright. She scanned the room around her: her own bedroom. Was I dreaming all of that? she asked herself. But it seemed so real… She stood up, still shaken from the ordeal her psyche had put her through. As she pulled on her jeans and tank top, Diana poked her head into the room and said, “Good mornin’ kiddo! We’re going rock climbing today. Maybe you can finally show me those legs muscles you keep bragging about! Haha!” As suddenly as she had entered, Diana dashed back to the common room to gather her gear. Kim stared blankly at the door, finally sitting down with an exasperated sigh:

“It’s going to be a long day.”
 
Perchance to dream...

Thanks for this piquant and playful vellication vignette. Your set-up was neat and quick, the teasing and tickling, for all their brevity, well-detailed, and the pay-off, well, we didn't want Kim going splat after Diana's clever kitchey-kooing, did we?<p> A welcome debut, and a longer Kim and Diana adventure would be more welcome still.
 
The Start Of Something Great...

OMG!!! An absolutely wonderful story. You definitely have a future as a
writer. First rate descriptions, a killer of a Damsel in Destress plot, & just
like the old movie serials, a real cliffhanger.

Please, Please, Please, your adoring audience eagerly awaits for more.

Cheers & 73's

rrman
 
Brilliant story. Well-written and evocative. As first posts go, they don't come much better than this, really. Looking forward to reading your further efforts.
 
Thanks all. I really don't like how bare bones I made this one, but I suppose it tested the waters well so to speak. I hope to write more (and better) for the community soon!
 
Dear knuxman,

I missed this gem the first time around. It's really excellent, just the type of story I look for, but is relatively rare around here. You do an outstanding job of drawing out the ticklish teasing and playing up the victim's brave, yet ultimately doomed resistance. Terrific description and detail, particularly around the subject of Kim's breaking. Bravo! Some of us really appreciate a carefully-crafted tickling drama like this much more than the fictional ticklees who simply fall to pieces (mentally and physically) at the very first stroke.

Thank you very, very much! Have you written anything since this?

dig dug dog
 
Thanks a lot, d3. I actually modeled this around your style, since I adore your work. The realism and psychological aspects are superb. I have a story lying unfinished somewhere in the same vein, and once uni really starts up again I plan on finishing it. Thanks again, it means quite a bit!
 
Hello Knuxman:)
I really liked your story, would like to see more from you:) On a personal note, I especially liked the part where Diana asked Kim if she was ticklish (undeniably one of the hottest questions ever formulated and presented to anyone) and, I have not been asked that question myself for quite some time so it struck a desirous chord, thank u for that:)

I also loved the part where Kim was falling to what might have been her death yet her only thought was that it would rescue her from further tickling,lol. As a truly ticklish person would, Kim was oblivious to any other sensation, activity or demise in the presence of being tickled; even if it resulted in her death! Great ending, can't wait to see more:)

Peace,
~tm:)
 
Last edited:
Thanks a lot, d3. I actually modeled this around your style, since I adore your work. The realism and psychological aspects are superb. I have a story lying unfinished somewhere in the same vein, and once uni really starts up again I plan on finishing it. Thanks again, it means quite a bit!


Dear Knuxman,

Any progress on that unfinished story you mentioned? I would love to see your next effort. Also, let me know if you want any input or suggestions.

Thanks much and looking forward,

dig dug
 
Dear Knuxman,

Please don't leave your adoring public awash in a dark sea of unfulfilled longing for that artistry which occurs when your hands meet a keyboard in the creation of tickle fiction magic.

At least lift us ever so briefly out from the cavernous den of your dread, mysterious silence. Throw us some scrap of evidence, the merest bone of good news concerning your intent to write again!

Most sincerely,

A friend and fan
 
Dear Knuxman,

Your return to tickle fiction is still anxiously anticipated. There are very few stories worth reading more than once; I've read "Precipice" now many times.

Friend, you have not been forgotten. Hope to hear from you soon.

dig dug dog
 
There you have it, Knuxman: even Jesus Christ likes your story. I'm sure if Moses, Buddha, Muhammed, Confucius, Joseph Smith, et. al. frequented this site, they would all agree...and demand an encore!

ddd
 
Bump for this, one of my favorites. Fifth page of the most viewed stories and we still have yet to see another...
 
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