CrystalLight
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A Story of Epic Meaning
A collaboration by;
Marquis De Sade and CrystalLight
Okay so a woman's all alone and she hears a knock on her door and she opens it and finds someone's left a really large adult cat on her doorstep in a basket and she takes it inside and feeds it and takes care of it and plans to make "Found: Cat" posters in the morning and post them up all over her neighborhood and she knows it's going to be really difficult because adult cats rarely get adopted, let alone fat ones, but she's really tired from all the assassination training she's had that afternoon because she's training to become a ninja (she used to be a porn star so she's REALLY smokin') and she has a field exam next week she needs to study for and so she goes to sleep dreaming about what font to use on the posters so it'll draw the most attention and wakes up tied spread eagled to the bed and starts freaking out because the giant cat is standing over her and it uses its claws to tickle the shit outta her and at the end the giant cat pulls its mask off like in Mission Impossible which you probably haven't seen but if you do skip the 1st one because makes no sense, the 2nd one sucked and the 3rd one is the best but it also made the least amount of money because Tom Cruise is too weird and it turns out the giant cat is actually her ninja teacher General Teekel-Choo (she never caught on to his name before) in a large cat suit and her exam was pushed forward a week to catch her off guard and the exam was actually how to deal with being interrogated or something else like resistance training or blah blah blah and he tells her that she passed the test and at the end they fuck each other's brains out and all the other woman ninjas find out about it and plot their revenge which leaves it open for a sequel.
And the sequel is this in no general order or designation, design or plot. Reader Beware.
So that same lady who had the big tits and what not also had another issue. She was ticklish (Are you serious.) Yes. I'm serious. See, in this one movie she did that was eerily similar to Showgirls (Yes I have seen that) she like was doing this scene and this guy said something to her. And there was this horse that was involved too.. But, it was only used in emergencies.
The horse was talking to Ariel who came in later and was tickling that one girl who still doesn't have a name. But this is about as F/F as I am going to get in this story so just be happy. OK, they are doing that thing that you do when you have someone underneath you when your not wearing any clothes.. Twister, you sickos. So what if they were naked? Your missing the point.
Did you know that they also had a man involved too? No, not the horse.. the guy from the cat suit. He was there. Shit got really kinky after they discussed their philosophical views as to why you can't lick their elbow. These two penguins came in later on. It was like ..oh wait.. Marquis just PMed me.
OK.. he wants the cat to be wearing a parachute and then fall out of the sky, wearing a ski mask.
Now, where was I?
Oh, right.. those penguins got into a stilt fight too. Or was it the horse? Kay, back to the main characters.. They were wrestling around with each other and then the one girl got the other guy down and they were tickling each other and she was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA and he was like Yeah.. thats it. And she was like NOAHAHAHA NO NONOAHAHAHA and he tickled her more faster and she laughed harder more and then the other girl came in and was like OH that looks like fun and then the horse knocked over the entertainment center, so they had to stop.
Once the police left because Ariel accidentally shut Bernardo's dick in the door while chasing after January (that's the other girl's name. I just thought of it) They resumed play. Bernardo is OK by the way, his ego is just a little bruised, but he'll live. The girl's told him his head was a pretty shade of purple and went well with his farmers tan.
So they are all ninjas right? And the girls team up on the guy and he's like NOAHAHHAAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAetc
And that is as F/M as I'm going to get, but I'm sure you get the picture besides there is more going on. The penguins are fist fighting ..which doesn't make sense because don't penguins have flippers? I don't get it either. Do you want to know where the horse is? No? OK.
More tickling? What does this look like a tickling story? Fine, fine..here...
Okay, so January kicked Ariel out because she's a selfish lover. (The horse went with Ariel..apparently the conversation they had earlier made them realize they had more in common then they thought..Wish them the best.)
I totally just lost my train of thought.
Oh, right! So they were alone now. And not in that creepy teenage love way that Tiffany or Amber or whatever her name is sings in that one song. And Bernardo was like, I want to tie you up and she was like ohh do you, I want you to tie me up to, don't forget the rope this time. It hurt using chicken wire. I'm still not over that experience. Oh, I have the rope right here, it's perfect for us. because this is going to be so magical and perfect, and everything you've ever dreamed of ever dreamed of ever dreamed of ..ever dreamed of. Okay I am ready for you lets do this.
So she was tied to the bed right.. what does it matter what position? Why are you so picky? Okay, fine.. she was spread eagle.. that's like.. equivalent to the missionary position when fucking. Safe but boring at times.
Ohhh..no, let's do something creative, she says, wiggling and stuff. And he looks her over with that look that guys get when something cool is about to happen. Most women view it as a sign of constipation but I digress. Ohh something different? okay. I am like super good at bondage and can make all of your wildest fantasies come true my sweet.
Ok, so instead of the first position she ends up duct taped to the wall..after a stop at Home Depot because the first attempt caused her to land conveniently on that one cactus plant that every fucking house seems to have. So once he has her strapped up there..which has no touching on bondage what so ever, so I guess he fails in that aspect, but she was so excited she could have cared less.
So, FINALLY they are ready to get busy..and the doorbell rings. So Bernardo curses loudly, pissed at being torn away from his beautiful ..whatever she is and goes to the door, flinging it open and clutching his chest, gurgling and rambling incoherently. Finally composing himself he gasps and looks deeply into the eyes of his
A collaboration by;
Marquis De Sade and CrystalLight
Okay so a woman's all alone and she hears a knock on her door and she opens it and finds someone's left a really large adult cat on her doorstep in a basket and she takes it inside and feeds it and takes care of it and plans to make "Found: Cat" posters in the morning and post them up all over her neighborhood and she knows it's going to be really difficult because adult cats rarely get adopted, let alone fat ones, but she's really tired from all the assassination training she's had that afternoon because she's training to become a ninja (she used to be a porn star so she's REALLY smokin') and she has a field exam next week she needs to study for and so she goes to sleep dreaming about what font to use on the posters so it'll draw the most attention and wakes up tied spread eagled to the bed and starts freaking out because the giant cat is standing over her and it uses its claws to tickle the shit outta her and at the end the giant cat pulls its mask off like in Mission Impossible which you probably haven't seen but if you do skip the 1st one because makes no sense, the 2nd one sucked and the 3rd one is the best but it also made the least amount of money because Tom Cruise is too weird and it turns out the giant cat is actually her ninja teacher General Teekel-Choo (she never caught on to his name before) in a large cat suit and her exam was pushed forward a week to catch her off guard and the exam was actually how to deal with being interrogated or something else like resistance training or blah blah blah and he tells her that she passed the test and at the end they fuck each other's brains out and all the other woman ninjas find out about it and plot their revenge which leaves it open for a sequel.
And the sequel is this in no general order or designation, design or plot. Reader Beware.
So that same lady who had the big tits and what not also had another issue. She was ticklish (Are you serious.) Yes. I'm serious. See, in this one movie she did that was eerily similar to Showgirls (Yes I have seen that) she like was doing this scene and this guy said something to her. And there was this horse that was involved too.. But, it was only used in emergencies.
The horse was talking to Ariel who came in later and was tickling that one girl who still doesn't have a name. But this is about as F/F as I am going to get in this story so just be happy. OK, they are doing that thing that you do when you have someone underneath you when your not wearing any clothes.. Twister, you sickos. So what if they were naked? Your missing the point.
Did you know that they also had a man involved too? No, not the horse.. the guy from the cat suit. He was there. Shit got really kinky after they discussed their philosophical views as to why you can't lick their elbow. These two penguins came in later on. It was like ..oh wait.. Marquis just PMed me.
OK.. he wants the cat to be wearing a parachute and then fall out of the sky, wearing a ski mask.
Now, where was I?
Oh, right.. those penguins got into a stilt fight too. Or was it the horse? Kay, back to the main characters.. They were wrestling around with each other and then the one girl got the other guy down and they were tickling each other and she was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA and he was like Yeah.. thats it. And she was like NOAHAHAHA NO NONOAHAHAHA and he tickled her more faster and she laughed harder more and then the other girl came in and was like OH that looks like fun and then the horse knocked over the entertainment center, so they had to stop.
Once the police left because Ariel accidentally shut Bernardo's dick in the door while chasing after January (that's the other girl's name. I just thought of it) They resumed play. Bernardo is OK by the way, his ego is just a little bruised, but he'll live. The girl's told him his head was a pretty shade of purple and went well with his farmers tan.
So they are all ninjas right? And the girls team up on the guy and he's like NOAHAHHAAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAetc
And that is as F/M as I'm going to get, but I'm sure you get the picture besides there is more going on. The penguins are fist fighting ..which doesn't make sense because don't penguins have flippers? I don't get it either. Do you want to know where the horse is? No? OK.
More tickling? What does this look like a tickling story? Fine, fine..here...
Okay, so January kicked Ariel out because she's a selfish lover. (The horse went with Ariel..apparently the conversation they had earlier made them realize they had more in common then they thought..Wish them the best.)
I totally just lost my train of thought.
Oh, right! So they were alone now. And not in that creepy teenage love way that Tiffany or Amber or whatever her name is sings in that one song. And Bernardo was like, I want to tie you up and she was like ohh do you, I want you to tie me up to, don't forget the rope this time. It hurt using chicken wire. I'm still not over that experience. Oh, I have the rope right here, it's perfect for us. because this is going to be so magical and perfect, and everything you've ever dreamed of ever dreamed of ever dreamed of ..ever dreamed of. Okay I am ready for you lets do this.
So she was tied to the bed right.. what does it matter what position? Why are you so picky? Okay, fine.. she was spread eagle.. that's like.. equivalent to the missionary position when fucking. Safe but boring at times.
Ohhh..no, let's do something creative, she says, wiggling and stuff. And he looks her over with that look that guys get when something cool is about to happen. Most women view it as a sign of constipation but I digress. Ohh something different? okay. I am like super good at bondage and can make all of your wildest fantasies come true my sweet.
Ok, so instead of the first position she ends up duct taped to the wall..after a stop at Home Depot because the first attempt caused her to land conveniently on that one cactus plant that every fucking house seems to have. So once he has her strapped up there..which has no touching on bondage what so ever, so I guess he fails in that aspect, but she was so excited she could have cared less.
So, FINALLY they are ready to get busy..and the doorbell rings. So Bernardo curses loudly, pissed at being torn away from his beautiful ..whatever she is and goes to the door, flinging it open and clutching his chest, gurgling and rambling incoherently. Finally composing himself he gasps and looks deeply into the eyes of his
And yes, penguins can fist fight without fists, regular birds do it all of the time! Maybe we can get Jackie Chan to play the cat, or was it a man in a cat suit or a cat in a man suit! I don't know about the rest of the parts; maybe we should get unknown actors to play them or maybe just throw these characters out and just get people to take the characters places and play themselves, you know because that will add realism, but we don't want to get too artsy, nobody pays to see artsy movies, but if we push the sex especially the horse, the cat and a penguin in a threesome, we will get an R rating and you know that will bring in an audience! Maybe we get rid of all of the people and just use animals, everyone loves movies about animals. Remember the two Babe the pig movies, yeah, we need a pig in the movie. Let's get Gary Busey to play the pig maybe he will stay sober enough to handle such a large part. No! Scratch all this! We have to do anime! All of the kids now love anime, but I don't understand much of it, so let's just use the Muppets! No we can't! I cannot imagine Ms. Piggy and Kermit having sex by themselves rather less in a foursome with a horse and a penguin. Then we would have to add a frog because we don't have one.If we keep adding characters the movie will be longer than Gone with the Wind. If we think that people will not be able to sit through the whole thing, then we will have to break it into two parts like Kill Bill and Kill Bill Part 2. That's another idea, we could get Uma Thurman to play Ms. Piggy, but who would play Kermit? Damn, that shoots the whole idea to hell!
Freakin' awesomesauce!
