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T tylerblue Registered User Joined Dec 16, 2006 Messages 9 Points 0 Oct 15, 2008 #1 .... Last edited: Nov 18, 2008
M mario22 TMF Novice Joined Aug 16, 2007 Messages 66 Points 0 Oct 15, 2008 #2 Sounds good so far however I think you may have stopped part 1 too early I would've gotten the reader further into the story before you stopped making them want more. Thats just my personal take...so far looks good.
Sounds good so far however I think you may have stopped part 1 too early I would've gotten the reader further into the story before you stopped making them want more. Thats just my personal take...so far looks good.
A Adam 1st Level Indigo Feather Joined Apr 16, 2001 Messages 6,116 Points 0 Oct 16, 2008 #3 Very nice opening. I look forward to reading more.