Star Wars: Scenes We Never Saw ;) Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (parts 1 and 2)

STAR WARS: SCENES WE NEVER SAW
EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
PART 1
BY: MC^2

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…


It is a dark time for the rebellion. Ever since the Death Star was destroyed, the Empire has been in search of the Rebel Alliance, and has driven them off of their latest base on the ice planet Hoth. As the Rebellion evacuated the planet, they were separated from Luke Skywalker, son of Anakin Skywalker, and his astromech droid Artoo-Detoo, onboard Luke’s X-Wing Fighter, and Corellian space smuggler Han Solo, Princess Leia Organa, Chewbacca the Wookie, and protocol droid See-Threepio, onboard the Millennium Falcon, whose hyperdrive has been damaged. The Millennium Falcon has recently landed for repairs in Cloud City, on the gas planet Bespin, where Han Solo’s old friend Lando Calrissian, former owner of the Falcon, acts as Baron Administrator. Lando has taken the refugees under his wing and has kindly agreed to see to the repair of the Falcon.

A few hours ago, Threepio turned up missing, and Leia had been worring about him since. She paced back and forth in her visitors’ apatment. Just then, Han entered.

“The ship’s almost finished,” he said. “Two or three more things and we’re in great shape.”

“The sooner the better,” Leia said concernedly. “Something wrong here. No one has seen or heard anything about Threepio. He’s been gone too long to have gotten lost.”

Han sat down next to her on her bed. “Relax. I’ll talk to Lando. See what I can find out.”

“I don’t trust Lando,” said Leia.

“Well, I don’t trust him either,” Han joked. “He is my friend. Besides, we’ll soon be gone.”

Han looked into Leia’s eyes, and she looked into his.

“And you’re as good as gone, aren’t you?” she said.

They smiled at each other and passionately kissed. Han laid her back onto the bed and kissed her some more. His hands trailed down her calves and she squirmed.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “I’m just a little ticklish.”

Han smiled. “Really? Lemme see.”

Han then proceeded to knead he ribs a little.

“No—ah! No, Han, please, dohohohon’t! Ah! Han, please! Ahahaha!”

Han then dug into her underarms.

“Ah! No, Han! Ahahahaha! I’m too ticklish! Ahahahaha! Please! Stop it! Hahahahaha!”

Leia’s laughter was music to his ears. He’d never loved a woman so much before, and he was really enjoying tickling her into a laughing mess.

“Come on, Your Worship,” he teased. “Surly you can tolerated a few laughs.” He went for her ribs again.

“Ahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahahan!! *hiccup* Hahahahahaha! Stahahahahap! *hiccup* I cahahahahahahahahan’t *hiccup* I can’t breeheeheeheeheeath! Hahahahaha! *hiccup*”

Seeing that Leia was now in discomfort, Han ceased his tickling and allowed her to rest and catch her breath.

Just then, Chewie entered and wheeled in a big crate.

“ROOOOOOOWWWRR!”

Leia got up and looked into the crate. Inside were the severed limbs of See-Threepio.

“What happened?!” she exclaimed.

“Rowr,” growled Chewbacca.

“Where?” asked Han, who was one of very few people in the galaxy who could understand the complex gruffs of Wookies.

Chewie barked some more. “Found him in a junkpile,” Han translated.

“Oh, what a mess,” said Leia. “Chewie, do you think you can repair him?”

Chewie barked affirmatively.

“Lando’s got people that could fix him,” Han intervened.

“No thank you,” Leia said, turning the offer aside.

Just then, the gallant-looking Lando Calrissian entered.

“Sorry, am I interrupting anything?” he asked.

“Not really,” Leia lied.

Lando looked at Leia, in her Cloud City dress, and smiled his dashing smile.

“You look absolutely beautiful,” he said. “You truly belong with us among the clouds.”

“Thank you,” said Leia politely.

Han looked like he was going to be sick.

Lando turned his attention to all of them now. “Would you care to join us for a little refreshments? Everyone’s invited, of course.”

Han and Leia accepted, and Han took Leia by the arm.

Lando looked at the crate containing the decapitated Threepio. “Something wrong with your droid?

“No,” lied Han, trying to make himself seem more superior to Lando. “No problem. Why?”

As they left for the feast, Chewie couldn’t help but look back at Threepio…

END PART ONE

STAR WARS: SCENES WE NEVER SAW
EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
PART 2
BY: MC^2

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…


It was not long until Cloud City’s gallant Baron Administrator, Lando Calrissian, betrayed his friends and turned Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and See-Threepio over to Darth Vader and the Empire. Apparently, the Millennium Falcon had been tracked to Bespin by Boba Fett, the cloned son of the notorious bounty hunter Jango Fett. With Boba’s assistance, Vader was able to beat the Falcon to Cloud City, and make a deal with the Baron Administrator: turn his friends over to the Empire as bait for Luke Skywalker (who, unknown to anyone but Darth Vader, is Vader’s own son), and the Empire would overlook Cloud City’s illegal activities in Tibanna gas mining.

It was now time for the Rebels to receive their punishments before being taken to Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer Executioner. Vader’s Stormtroopers shoved Chewbacca and the remains of See Threepio, as he had earlier been blasted to pieces by Stormtroopers, into a dark cell, and lead Han and Leia into separate torture chambers.

As Vader left Leia in the hands of his Stormtroopers, he headed for Han’s torture chamber. Han was being strapped down by Stormtroopers onto a vertical rack. Diagonally in front of Han was a table with many sinister needles pointing at his chest. When he was fully secured, the Stormtroopers slowly lowered Han towards the needles. Vader exited the chamber as Han began screaming in agony.

Vader then met up with Boba, Lando, and Lobot, Lando’s cyborg aide, and walked with them toward’s Leia’s torture chamber.

“*breathe* You may bring Captain Solo to Jabba the Hutt after I have Skywalker *breathe*,” he said to Boba.

“He’s no good to me dead,” said Boba through his “father’s” old helmet.

“*breathe* He will not be permanently damaged *breathe*,” Vader assured him.

Lando could still hear Han’s tortured screams from down the hall. He hated what he had done, but he had to keep Cloud City safe from the Empire.

“Lord Vader,” he asked anxiously, “what about Leia and the Wookie?”

“*breathe* They must never again leave this city *breathe*,” Vader answered.

Lando was outraged. He hadn’t been expecting this. “That was never a condition of our agreement! Nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter!” he exclaimed, gesturing towards Boba.

Vader turned to Lando, amused. “*breathe* Perhaps you feel you are being treated unfairly? *breathe*”

Lando suddenly felt a brief, slight tightness around his neck. A tightness that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. He knew that this had to be one of the many powers of the Dark Lord of the Sith, and decided not to challenge it. “No,” he answered reluctantly.

Vader smiled weakly behind his mask. “*breathe* Good *breathe*,” he said cruelly. “*breathe*It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here. *breathe*”

As Vader and Boba entered Leia’s torture chamber, Lando turned to Lobot. “This deal’s getting worse all the time,” he whispered.


Darth Vader and Boba Fett entered the torture chamber, where Princess Leia awaited her torture. Once again, Vader faced the beauty that mysteriously reminded him of his former wife, Padmé Amidala Naberrie Skywalker. Once again, Vader did not wish to physically harm such a beauty. He did not know why, but he just could not bring himself to it. Luckily, he had prepared for such an encounter. He had his Stormtroopers bring in a sort of diagonal metal rack in the shape of an X, and ordered them to lay the Princess onto it. They removed her Bespin cloak and placed her figure onto the metal X, energy beams securing her wrists and ankles to the ends. She could not move an inch. Vader signaled the Stormtroopers to leave.

Vader stepped toward the helpless Princess, just as he had done on the Death Star 3 years ago. “*breathe* It pains me to put you through this torture once again, Your Highness, *breathe*” he breathed sadly, “*breathe* but I have my orders. *breathe*”

Again? thought Leia. What does he…oh no! He can’t mean THAT!

Vader kneeled and slipped off Leia’s Bespin slippers. She tried to scrunch up her toes to keep them on, but the Dark Lord of the Sith was too strong for her. With her feet bare, all she could do now was struggle futilely against the energy beams binding her wrists and ankles to the big metal X-rack.

Vader signaled for Boba to press a button on the X-rack, and when he did, two droid arms extended from the bottom of the X-rack. Both arms carefully held 2 Pylat feathers, and homed them in slowly towards Leia’s sensitive feet.

Leia’s feet and toes wriggled in anticipation, and already she was starting to beg. “Vader, please! Not again! This is pure torture for me!”

“That’s the general idea, Princess,” sneered Boba.

Soon, Leia felt the soft tips of the feathers touch the bottoms of her soft feet, which instinctively twitched. As the feathers began to lazily draw random patterns along her bare soles, Leia struggled mightily to contain herself, just as she had done onboard the Death Star. The tingly sensations caused by the feathers on her feet were maddening, and she wiggled her feet wildly, trying to get away from the feathers. But no matter which direction her feet went in, the feathers always managed to stay with them. Before long, Leia was couldn’t take any more and erupted into fits of giggles.

“Hehehehehehe, Vader, pleeheeheeheeheease! Hahahahahaha! Not agahahahahain! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I cahahahahahahahahahan’t tahahahahahahahake thihihihihihihihihihihis! Pleeheeheeheeheeheease! Oh, not the feeheeheeheeheet! Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh, the feheheheheheheathers tickle toohoohoohoohoohoohoohoo much! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

The feathers continued to gently tickle her feet for ten minutes without break. Leia thought she was going to go out of her mind. Try as she might, she just couldn’t stop laughing at the torturously soft touch of the feathers gliding ever-so softly all over her soft, ticklish feet. She tried to pull her feet away, and pull herself out of the energy beams binding her, but it was all in vain.

Things started to get worse for Leia when Boba pressed another button on the X-rack. Now, a whole group of droid arms came out from behind the rack and started tickling Leia all over with their fingers, causing Leia to scream outright.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAHAHAHAHAHAN’T STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAND IT! AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Leia was now being tickled all over by merciless droid arms. Her feet were being tickled all over by the feathers, and droid fingers were digging into her ribs, belly, underarms, thighs, neck, and knees. She thrashed about as best she could, trying to tear herself away, but it was useless. All she could do was lay there laughing hysterically, her face turning red, with tears running down her cheeks.

After what seemed like an eternity, Vader finally signaled for Boba to shut off the rack, and Leia fell into a heap on the floor, curled up in a fetal position and giggling furiously. After she had finally calmed down, a group of Stormtroopers entered and hauled her off to her cell. After they threw her into the cell, she saw Chewbacca trying to repair what was left of Threepio, and she found Han lying weakly on a stiff metal cot in the corner. She went over to him and held him in her arms.

“Why are they doing this?” she sobbed.

Han was still very weak from his own torture. “They never even asked me any questions,” he muttered.

Leia hugged him tightly. “Me neither,” she whispered.

THE END

I always wondered what happened to Leia while Han was getting pureed...