bulletbill57
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Especially for the 40 and over crowd, a fusion of Hammer Vampire Films, Kolchak:The Night Stalker, and Hawaii Five-O. The return of bulletbill57!
Van Kolchak Five-O: The Night Tickler
Prologue:
(The voice of Karl Kolchak dictating into his recorder) “Ah, Honolulu, a place of dreams for most people. For Detective Steve McGarrett and Hawaii Five-O, however, it was about to become the place of nightmares that would haunt their dreams for the remainder of their lives, as it will mine. I’d been sent here to cover a story on the opening of the new Hawaii State Cultural Center when something far more newsworthy, and evil, once again distracted me from my task...”
“May 13, 1973, 2 A.M. Su Ling, Miss China, on a visit to Hawaii prior to the Miss Universe Pageant and was entering her hotel room at the after a night of revelry. The room was stuffy and she opened the door of her balcony for some fresh air. It would be the last mistake she ever made. (A beautiful white-gowned barefoot woman floats through the balcony window grabbing Su Ling and pulling her to the floor, then takes off her sandals as scene darkens, followed by a mix of high-pitched-girlish female giggling and deep, throaty, evil-but-sexy-sounding female laughter.)
(Cleaning lady enters hotel room, and finds Su Ling lying on floor, barefoot, eyes open staring at her and grinning. Cleaning lady screams “EEEEEEEEEEE!” and drops vacuum cleaner on foot, holding foot and hopping up and down in pain. “OW! OW! OW! OW!” Remembers body on lying on floor “Oh yeah, I forgot-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Start menacing music and segue into Hawaii Five-O theme)
Van Kolchak Five-O: The Night Tickler
Starring:
Jack Lord as McGarrett
Khigh Dhiegh as Wo Fat
Kam Fong as Chin Ho
Darren McGavin as Kolchak
Peter Cushing as Dr. Van Helsing
Amy Chow as Su Ling
Zulu as Kono
Bulletbill57 as Officer Lakanukki Kumaunawaunalaya
Natalie Wood as Countess Tikula
And Featuring “Lucky” as “Puppy”
The Morgue Scene:
“McGeddet.” Said Van Helsing, extending his hand. “No, it’s McGarrett.” He replied. “I just said that.” said Van Helsing, looking perplexed...
“Not a problem, I’m a dawk-tuh.” replied Van Helsing. “You mean a doctor.” said Chin Ho. “I just said that!” said Van Helsing, looking annoyed...
"There, running across her sole, the Seal of Tikula. " said Van Helsing. McGarret notices the two small puncture wounds on her foot. Van Helsing removed a small crucifix from his pocket, then stoked her sole and the body spread her smiling lips as her fangs were seen by all. "Her body must be cremated immediatley McGarret. She has become one of the smiling dead!" said Van Helsing as Kolchak nodded. "Isn't that the acid rock band from Woodstock?" said Chin Ho. "No-No-no, that's the Grateful Dead, you IDIOT!" said Van Helsing, looking really pissed off.
Wo Fat and MCgarret become uneasy allies
Wo Fat enters the morgue during the examination of the pretty Chinese girl's body: "Dr. Van Helsing is correct McGarret. Throughout the centuries this monstrosity has been called by many names. Your American Cherokee Indians called it the "Gitchee-gu-yoo". The Spanish Conquistadores in Latin America called it "El Cuchicu". We in China named this evil the "Qi-Shi-Qu". Notice the similarity in the names despite the difference in geographic locations and cultures. It cannot be stopped by conventional means, but it must be stopped McGarret! Wo Phat pointed to the smiling corpse on the slab. "SHE was one of the most beautiful girls in China, and would have been in the Miss Universe pageant had she not become a tickler of the night. Wo Phat pulls a wooden stake and hammer from his coat pocket. Dr. Van Helsing, please tickle Su Ling's feet as I prove to McGarret the veracity of your story. Wo Fat pulls the sheet down, baring her breasts, and places the stake over her heart. “Whoa, I’ve seen better tits on a store mannequin!” muses Chin Ho. “CHIN, THAT’S DISGUSTING!” snarls McGarrett. Dr. Van Helsing begins tickling both of the corpses’ feet and the corpse begins to smile and giggle as Wo Fat places the stake over her heart and raises the hammer. “Wo Fat, NO!” shouts McGarrett. The corpse continues to giggle until Wo Fat drives in the stake. "HeeheeheeheeEKCHH?!!!!"
Van Kolchak Five-O: The Night Tickler
Prologue:
(The voice of Karl Kolchak dictating into his recorder) “Ah, Honolulu, a place of dreams for most people. For Detective Steve McGarrett and Hawaii Five-O, however, it was about to become the place of nightmares that would haunt their dreams for the remainder of their lives, as it will mine. I’d been sent here to cover a story on the opening of the new Hawaii State Cultural Center when something far more newsworthy, and evil, once again distracted me from my task...”
“May 13, 1973, 2 A.M. Su Ling, Miss China, on a visit to Hawaii prior to the Miss Universe Pageant and was entering her hotel room at the after a night of revelry. The room was stuffy and she opened the door of her balcony for some fresh air. It would be the last mistake she ever made. (A beautiful white-gowned barefoot woman floats through the balcony window grabbing Su Ling and pulling her to the floor, then takes off her sandals as scene darkens, followed by a mix of high-pitched-girlish female giggling and deep, throaty, evil-but-sexy-sounding female laughter.)
(Cleaning lady enters hotel room, and finds Su Ling lying on floor, barefoot, eyes open staring at her and grinning. Cleaning lady screams “EEEEEEEEEEE!” and drops vacuum cleaner on foot, holding foot and hopping up and down in pain. “OW! OW! OW! OW!” Remembers body on lying on floor “Oh yeah, I forgot-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Start menacing music and segue into Hawaii Five-O theme)
Van Kolchak Five-O: The Night Tickler
Starring:
Jack Lord as McGarrett
Khigh Dhiegh as Wo Fat
Kam Fong as Chin Ho
Darren McGavin as Kolchak
Peter Cushing as Dr. Van Helsing
Amy Chow as Su Ling
Zulu as Kono
Bulletbill57 as Officer Lakanukki Kumaunawaunalaya
Natalie Wood as Countess Tikula
And Featuring “Lucky” as “Puppy”
The Morgue Scene:
“McGeddet.” Said Van Helsing, extending his hand. “No, it’s McGarrett.” He replied. “I just said that.” said Van Helsing, looking perplexed...
“Not a problem, I’m a dawk-tuh.” replied Van Helsing. “You mean a doctor.” said Chin Ho. “I just said that!” said Van Helsing, looking annoyed...
"There, running across her sole, the Seal of Tikula. " said Van Helsing. McGarret notices the two small puncture wounds on her foot. Van Helsing removed a small crucifix from his pocket, then stoked her sole and the body spread her smiling lips as her fangs were seen by all. "Her body must be cremated immediatley McGarret. She has become one of the smiling dead!" said Van Helsing as Kolchak nodded. "Isn't that the acid rock band from Woodstock?" said Chin Ho. "No-No-no, that's the Grateful Dead, you IDIOT!" said Van Helsing, looking really pissed off.
Wo Fat and MCgarret become uneasy allies
Wo Fat enters the morgue during the examination of the pretty Chinese girl's body: "Dr. Van Helsing is correct McGarret. Throughout the centuries this monstrosity has been called by many names. Your American Cherokee Indians called it the "Gitchee-gu-yoo". The Spanish Conquistadores in Latin America called it "El Cuchicu". We in China named this evil the "Qi-Shi-Qu". Notice the similarity in the names despite the difference in geographic locations and cultures. It cannot be stopped by conventional means, but it must be stopped McGarret! Wo Phat pointed to the smiling corpse on the slab. "SHE was one of the most beautiful girls in China, and would have been in the Miss Universe pageant had she not become a tickler of the night. Wo Phat pulls a wooden stake and hammer from his coat pocket. Dr. Van Helsing, please tickle Su Ling's feet as I prove to McGarret the veracity of your story. Wo Fat pulls the sheet down, baring her breasts, and places the stake over her heart. “Whoa, I’ve seen better tits on a store mannequin!” muses Chin Ho. “CHIN, THAT’S DISGUSTING!” snarls McGarrett. Dr. Van Helsing begins tickling both of the corpses’ feet and the corpse begins to smile and giggle as Wo Fat places the stake over her heart and raises the hammer. “Wo Fat, NO!” shouts McGarrett. The corpse continues to giggle until Wo Fat drives in the stake. "HeeheeheeheeEKCHH?!!!!"
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