• The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

The TMF is sponsored by:

Clips4Sale Banner

The Beast

CaptFeatherbell

Registered User
Joined
Dec 11, 2008
Messages
32
Points
0
This is the first installlment of a story I was working on for a while called "The Beast". It is a fantasy ???/M story. Pleas read and reply, adding comments and suggestions on how to make it better. I'm planning on turning it into a book, maybe...

The Beast

"Jaaaake!" Mr. Hannon called, "you get off of that boy! You are suspended! Do you hear me, suspended! Three days!"
Jake had issues. Real bad issues. He was stressed, he was angry, he was reluctant to behave, and he was tired. Tired of adults shouting words at him like he was some kind of criminal. He didn't want to get into fights, but he didnt' know what else to do.

When he got home that day from school, he was in the worst bad mood he ever had been in. He was grouchy. It was the last straw for his mom when he didn't answer her about the suspension.
"Jake, you listen to me. I have had enogh of your smary-pants behavior. You will go to Mr Gu's tomorrow and I mean to-MOR-row to fix that chair you broke by kicking it across the room. I'm ashamed of you."

"Ok, mom, whatever." came his reply. He went upstairs, did his homework, and then promptly fell asleep. When he woke up, he realized he was in the car, fuly clothed, and heading up r. Gu's driveway. Jake wondered, 'how in the friken' world did mom get me out of bed so early? it's five-o'clock in the morning!'

Jake got out of the car, only to be greeted by a Bullmastiff and a Doberman Pinscher. They were friendly enough, but Jake was deathly scared of any dog bigger than a miniature poodle. Frozen, he was wondering if he was at the right place. After all, the last time he was here, there was no barking, and he didn't see any dogs. Then, he hears a whistle. He followed the whistle untill he came to a tree next to Mr. Gu's deck. Up in the tree was a large bird cage. About two feet on all sides. There wasa a colorful bird in it, whistling and carrying on. Jake started to laugh, because he found humor in the bird, which was at that time swinging crazily around on a hanging rope.

"Ah, You have met Chien, then." The voice directly behind him startled Jake straight out of his skin. Jake did not like surprises. Before he thought, he took a swing at Mr. Gu. Easily, Mr. Gu ducked and lightly poked Jake's back, right where the ribs end. Jake fell to the ground, bewildered. 'What just happened?' he asked himself, 'I-- oh. I tried to punch Mr. Gu; good thing I missed.' But he didn't miss. Mr. Gu tickled his back just enough to get a reaction to knock Jake off-balance. He knew it wouldn't conciously tickle Jake. He knew Jake was burned out.

"Please, come inside. It is cold in the winter." Mrr. Gu acted like nothing had happened. Jake offered to fix the chair, and Mr. Gu insisted on Jake and him having some tea together first. There was that dog again, the Doberman. Jake was scared. Again. But, at the snap of the old Mr. Gu's fingers, it truned arond and left the room.

The old man said then,
"You, boy, will learn that laughter is the best medicine for all ails. Keep this in mind."
 
Interesting?

Hi,
My real name is James, but my screen name on here is Tickleslave07.
I read your story I thought it was a good set-up to what could be a pretty good story.

Sorry I'm a writer myself and believe me I know exactly how hard it is to get replies here from anyone.

From what I saw in your story you have a few spelling errors....Please don't be upset with me pointing that out to you I have issues with my spelling too.

My advice to you is to read it out loud into a tape recorder then play it back it will help you hear where the missed words are in your writing.

Keep Rocking and believe in yourself always,
Tickleslave07
 
What's New

4/25/2024
Visit Tickle Experiement for clips! Details in the TE box below!
Tickle Experiment
Door 44
NEST 2024
Register here
The world's largest online clip store
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1701 ***
The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top