Parody Story...

ANNABELLA & THE EMERALD SLIPPERS​

---This is the story of a prince, and beautiful maiden, her cruel stepmother, her greedy stepsisters, and a young squire. This is a tale of dreams coming true without the aide of, witches, fairies, talking mice, and magic.

---Once upon a time in a very wealthy kingdom far away, there lived a very beautiful young lady named Annabelle. She was beautiful in body as well as in mind, and a kinder lady could not be found anywhere in the kingdom. However, the radiance of this maiden was effectively being stifled by her cruel stepmother.

---She kept Annabelle heavily burdened with so many chores and drudgeries that the only time she ever saw the light of day was when she was hanging the laundry to dry or running errands in town. Her greedy stepsisters only added to young Annabelle’s miseries. They spent money like it was water and always insisted on having the very best of everything. New clothing, new hairstyles, new jewelry, and new shoes. To keep her daughters satiated, stepmother spent the least amount of money possible on Annabella. She was given nothing but rags to where and one pair of sandals. She couldn’t where just any shoes due to a small imperfection she shared with her birth mother, she was born with six toes on each foot instead of five (something she is constantly teased and jeered at for by her step sisters). In her room, under a floor board, inside a small chest she kept a keepsake that her mother gave her before she passed away and her father remarried, a pair of custom made emerald slippers. These one of a kind slippers were made for and handed down from her grandmother, to her mother, and finally to her. They were a brilliant translucent green slippers which were comparable to any shoe fit for royalty. Now they lay unused and hidden while their owner is left to toil away in a pair of ugly sandals. Annabella did in fact have one good friend from her carefree days while her mother and father were still alive, Siegfried. Sieg, as she called him, was the clumsy boy next door. They were the best of friends and actually had a sibling type bond (he was 8 and she was 10), but he moved away about ten years ago to begin training to be a knight. She often pined for his company during her long and difficult days. Little did she know that they would soon meet again, and that meeting will herald a brand new beginning for her.

---On the first Sunday in the month of June, it was to be the crown prince’s 21st birthday. And, according to the traditions of the land, he is to chose a wife and future queen. Normally this is accomplished by a long interviewing process which in past generations has taken over a year to complete. To expedite matters the prince instead decided to hold a grand ball, believing that if the one he is fated to spend his life with attends, his heart would guide him to that one worthy maiden (A romantic idea to be sure).

---The word went out a month in advance of the festivities and the socialites were in an up uproar. This was perhaps one of the best business months for dress makers, make-up artists, and etiquette teachers as mothers, fathers, and daughters all over the land had their sights set on marrying into royalty. Thoughts of a life free of cares and supreme luxury danced in their heads. Annabella’s cruel stepmother and her greedy stepsisters were equally caught up in the excitement. The cruel stepmother poured everything she had into making her two homely daughters “princess” material. Entire teams of make-up experts, hairstylists, nail experts, professional seamstresses, speech coaches, phonetics experts, etiquette experts, choreographers, and jewelers were called in to mold the two greedy stepsisters into royalty class ladies(nearly bankrupting her in the process). Annabella was commanded to be a dummy for the fitting of the dresses by her cruel stepmother because she did not want her own daughter to be pricked with any needles. But when the dress was on everyone present, even the “reconstruction crew” recognized that she looked and carried herself just a princess. Devoid of any preparation, Annabella’s natural beauty was shining through with a royal air about her. The “stepfamily” gawked at her as she naturally accomplished the appearance it was costing them a fortune to even come close to. The cruel stepmother and greedy stepsisters, in a fit of jealous rage, tore the dress off of Annabelle and cursed her saying she is forbidden to attend the ball. Annabella fled from the scene, threw on her old rags, and ran out of the house.

---Annabella ran all the way up the road and clumped over an old tree she used to climb with Siegfried when they were younger. Again she pined for him, as a companion for her to lean on when the days were hard. Just then, the royal envoy arrived from in town to nail up posters of the royal ball decree made by the prince. A squire was hanging the signs while a knight read its contents aloud.

---The squire arrived at the tree where Annabella was sitting, sobbing with her face buried in her hands. The squire asked what was the matter. Annabella said she simply missed the boy she used to play with there as a young girl. The squire said that he used to play with a young girl in these parts as well and that he misses her too, he then asked if he had died. She said no, and that he went to the castle to become a knight. The young squire then said that he to left the area to become a knight and not to worry, for by his name Siegfried, he swore to find her lover. Annabella rose her head sharply and gazed at the squire, looking deep into his eyes. She then asked if the girl he used to play with was named Annabella. He said “indeed it was!” She then broke out in tears again and told him that she was Annabella. They stared at each other in utter disbelief for a few moments, then they embraced. Sieg then remembered something and said,

“wait, let me check something!”

He reached down, grabbed her ankle, and held her foot up, touching her toes as he counted, “one, two, three, four, five… six…It really is you!” and they embraced again.

Annabella glared at Sieg, stating “that would be the first thing you remember!” remembering that he always did seem to pay special attention to her feet even back then.

---Siegfried asked what was really happening, all of that crying couldn’t have been over him, and Annabella told him everything. Sieg listened with shock, then horror, and finally disgust. He decided that she has been done a great wrong and hatches a scheme to remedy it. The young squire declares that she will go to the ball! He smuggles her into the coach that the royal envoy took to get to the area and took her back to the Palace. He took her into the chambers of the royal tailors and instructed her to pick out a dress. This was an exciting experience to Annabella. To be snuck into the palace and to have her pick of the prettiest gowns in the world. She worried however that she may be stealing, but Sieg told her that they were all made for the future princess. And since he had every confidence that she would be chosen, he said that these were already hers. And lastly, there were so many dresses that no one would miss one for one night. Annabella strolled up and down the room looking at the dresses until she found an beautiful emerald green dress. Sieg asked if she was sure, and Annabella responded that she already had the perfect shoes for it.

---Here was the plan they hatched. Annabella couldn’t keep the dress at her own house or else her cruel stepmother and greedy stepsisters would see her bring it in, so Siegfried held on to it. On the night of the ball, after Annabella’s cruel stepmother and greedy stepsisters had left for the ball, Siegfried would come alone to pick her up in a horse drawn carriage. The dress would be inside the carriage, as well as a fancy ball mask. On the way Annabella would change into the dress, put on the mask, and put on her emerald slippers.

---When she arrived, she was in full dress. A perfect beauty from head to toe. With the mask hiding her face she was free to move about in plain sight of her stepfamily, and so she did. She fit in seamlessly with those socialites, though some of the conversations she overheard were a bit shocking to her. Some of those ladies prattled on and on about unimportant matters such as the color of their china or furniture. Others stood there in the grand ball room as if they were fixtures. Practicing perfect textbook posture, they just stood there staring into blank space and smiling at nothing. And more spoke of what they would do WHEN they became the princess. Cruel things like banishing the homeless and poor because the were “eyesores” and raising taxes just to add more space to this already immense palace just to place more of their goods inside of it. They would make everything they own into gold at the expense of the common folk. Outrageous! The young gentlemen in the palace and around the kingdom were also invited to the ball to enjoy themselves and improve relations with the crown. However, the greedy maidens all scorned the advances of those good and honest young men, having only the thrown in their sights. Siegfried also offered his hand to these beautiful and sincere looking women, but was surprised to be met with only mocking and jeering.

“What! You’re just a lowly squire! Away with you!”

“Your not rich! SCRAM!”

“BEAT IT YA WOIM!”

“Try your luck again when you’re at least a wealthy knight…”

“HA HA HA HA HA…THE LIKES OF YOU AN…AND ME!? BWAHAHAHAHAHA…”

“Sorry, you seem nice and all, but it’s prince or bust!”

“MOVE! You are blocking the prince’s view of me!"

“HOW DARE YOU! WHEN I AM NAMED PRINCESS I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU ARE BARRED FROM EVER BECOMING A KNIGHT AND THROWN INTO THE DUNGEONS!”

He received similar reactions from all of those “high class” maidens, and shuddered to thing what they would do if ever given any real power. It now became his self appointed mission as a future knight to save his kingdom from them! “TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOT!” The horns blew to signal the arrival of the prince.

---The prince entered through the doors on the opposite end of the room that connected it to the great palace. There he was, his innocent eyes full of hope and romantic ideas about meeting the one he was fated to marry. He cast his eyes over all of the maidens searching for that one that would spike his curiosity. All of the maidens in turn rushed him, with thoughts of fame, riches, and power on the forefront of their minds. They threw themselves at him like a human wave. Some showing off their long legs while others leaned in to show their cleavage while greeting him. Among all the ruckus one maiden caught the prince’s eye. A maiden in a beautiful green dress, slippers, and mask. The prince worked his way through the crowd of women in order to get a better look at her. He began to walk toward her while the other women, especially Annabella’s greedy stepsisters, were relentlessly blocking like NFL linemen. Eventually he did manage to get to her. With a bead of sweat on his brow, the prince asked the disguised Annabella to dance with him. She tried to retreat, but Sieg immediately appeared and guided her back to the prince, giving her an encouraging nudge. They then danced the night away, gazing into each other‘s eyes the whole time. The other women, coming to the realization that their chances with the prince just dropped from slim to none, started to leave. Some audibly cursing and behaving rather unladylike on the way out. The cruel stepmother and the greedy stepsisters, seeing their own chances diminish to nothingness, finally decided to cut their loses and leave as well. Annabella, seemingly lost in a dream world, snapped back to reality in time to notice that her stepfamily was preparing to leave and if she wasn’t home by the time they got back they would become suspicious. She said only two words to the prince, “I’m sorry…”, broke away and fled. The prince shouted “WAIT! PLEASE! What is your name?” and began to chase her. Siegfried interviened saying, “I will stop her! Leave it to me your highness!” and pretended to give chase. However, instead of stopping her, he helped her escape in the same carriage they arrived in. On the way into the carriage, Annabella lost one of her emerald slippers on the ground outside of the palace. She cried “My Slipper!” and he retorted, “If we go back for it now, this would have all been for naught!”.

---Now heartbroken and one slipper short, she changed back into her rags as the carriage raced back to her home in order to beat her stepfamily there. Siegfried dropped Annabella off and said that he would make up a good story and that he would place the dress back in the tailor’s chambers. Annabella asked if he could also recover her slipper, and Sieg said that he would see what he could do. Noticing the coach that the stepfamily took to go to the ball on the horizon, Sieg said that he had to leave and cracked his reigns hard. The carriage sped off and was out of sight before the coach with Annabella’s stepfamily arrived. The cruel stepmother and greedy stepsisters all stomped out with very frustrated looks on their faces, cursing out loud.

“That **** masked floozy!”

“WHO THE **** DOES SHE THINK SHE IS!”

“HER FACE PROBABLY LOOKS LIKE **** UNDER THAT MASK!”

“****ING TRAMP!”

Annabella innocently asked how it went, and her stepfamily just glared at her. Then the cruel stepmother spat with scorn, “$**TTY!!!” and went inside.

---Meanwhile, back at the palace the prince waited patiently for the squire (Siegfried) to return with his future bride. Even through her mask, he felt a connection but he had no way of knowing who she was. In the midst of the prince’s despair, a soldier entered and presented the prince with an emerald slipper he found outside. The prince immediately recognized it as the one the masked maiden was wearing. Within the hour, Siegfried returned. Putting on a sad face, Siegfried entered the prince’s study and announced that he lost the fair masked maiden in the chase and that he was sorry for failing him. The prince turned around and faced the squire with the slipper in his hand and said, “It’s alright, for now I have a means for you to redeem yourself.” he held out his hand with the slipper and said,

“I command you to find the maiden who fits this emerald slipper. She will be my bride and the future queen of this land! I have already sent word ahead to all the provinces! I don’t care how long it takes, however the day you succeed is the day you will become a full fledged knight!”

---What an opportunity! Siegfried already knew exactly where the “Masked Maiden” lived, and the day he brings her in is the day he become a knight without having to pass the usual trials. With the slipper in hand Sieg set out to make his best friend a princess. But wait! With literally thousands of maidens to chose from, if he returned too soon with the right one he may fall under suspicion. It would be a controversy. He would have to take his time and test many maidens before he could finger Annabella. But what if one of the other maiden’s feet fit’s the slipper? That would be impossible wouldn’t it? After all, Annabella has an extra toe on each foot.
Wait…feet!

“Hmm, I could have some fun with this”, and thinking back to the snooty socialites at the party, “and some sweet payback!”

---Siegfried ventures forth to the near by hill where all of the richest families lived. He was well received in the first house. This was of course the home of one of the snobbish maidens he had the extreme displeasure of meeting during the ball. He was brought into a well furnished parlor, given their finest tea and sweetest cake, and the maiden of the house came to greet him.

“Greetings most honorable squire! How was your journey here?"

“It was fair” Sieg answered, looking down at the bottom of her long dress.

“Ah yes, the fitting! I thank you for returning my slipper to me squire, when I become the princess I will see to it that you are richly rewarded…”

She sat on a chair, slipped her own shoe off, lifted up her dress, held up her enormous foot, and said,

“Well, put it on!”

Sigfried looked at the small slipper in he hand, and the large foot in front of him. He then chuckled and exclaimed, “Lady, there is no way this slipper is going to fit on your foot! It would be like shoving a sheep dog into a bird house!”

“Nonsense”, she retorted, “you just need to use a little elbow grease.”

“There isn’t enough grease in the kingdom to get this slipper on without breaking it!” he said.

“OH JUST GIVE IT HERE YOU WORTHLESS WORM! [POW]” she screamed and kicked him.

She snatched the slipper and tried franticly to push her oversized foot into it, but could not get her toes past the opening. She grunted and struggled to get it on. One of the maiden’s chambermaids tried to push it on with all her might. The maiden even fell out of her chair while trying to put the shoe on. Siegfried made the suggestion that she actually lubricate her foot with something. She desperately asked with what, and he replied “oh. Say, saliva…” In that instant, the maiden ordered the maid to lick her foot. The maid hesitated.

The maiden demanded, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!”

The maid replied, “Th…that’s a lot of…umm…area…to cover…”

“WHAT!” shouted the maiden.

“And uh…” the maid continued, “you are violently ticklish…I mean the last time someone touched your feet, you jerked and kicked them so hard they were in a coma for a week.”

The maiden then said, “I don’t care, you lick my foot or you’re fired!”

No sooner then when the tip of the maid’s tongue connected with the maiden’s sole did she squeal, jerk, and kick the maid and knocked her out cold. The maiden then said, “ugh, I’ll do it myself then!” and in a very unladylike manner, she grabbed her own ankle, lifted her foot to her face, and started to furiously lick her large soles and long toes. Meanwhile Siegfried is watching all of this with an almost guilty sense of amusement. The maiden finally succeeded in getting most her soaking wet foot into the slipper, but was obviously in a lot of pain. In this extreme state of discomfort she said,

“well, I’m sorry it took so long, my foot must have still been swollen from the dancing, eh heh heh…”

Her face scrunched and twisted in agony. Siegfried snatched the wet slipper off of her foot, and she breathed a sigh of relief. He then said, “Enough of this farce, it doesn’t fit.” And made a quick exit. The maiden screamed for her maid to stop him, then remembered that her maid was unconscious on the floor behind her with a big footprint on her face.

---Siegfried had similar experiences in all of the other rich houses. Some of the maidens feet were too small, other like the first were much too big, some were so ticklish that they couldn’t stand to be touched on their feet while others still had feet so stinky that the squire recoiled when they were presented. When Siegfried descended from the rich hill, he gained some insights into the rich and powerful that he realized he could have gone his whole life without knowing. They have everything but would readily risk their health and marriage to a man they don’t love for more. To thing that when he is a knight, these are the people he will most likely be ordered to protect! Ignorance truly is bliss.

---Next was the commoner‘s lands, he figured he had no grudge against them, so he would try a few ladies and then slip away to Annabella’s house. That plan soon evaporated. As he was riding in his carriage down the main road with the slipper in hand, on both sides of the street there seemed to be a wall of bare feet. They were protruding from every window, doorway, hole, porch, etc. They even seemed to be hanging from the trees and sticking out of knotholes. Feet as far as the eye could see, everywhere! Big, small, dirty, clean, smooth, wrinkled, polished, unpolished, young, old, and even a few feet in drag(men’s feet). It was almost dizzying. The coachman beat his reigns and hurried through the crowd. The whole way the peasant maidens chased after him. They ran in the roads, jumped along the rooftops, swung on tree branches, and even jumped on his carriage. They stuck their legs and bare feet through the windows (actually shattering the glass in the rear one) begging him to “fit” them. Is this a blissful dream or a nightmare. He could feel the maiden’s toes running through his hair, rubbing his face, stroking his shoulders, rubbing his chest, two or three were even rubbing against his groin. He struggle to get away (WHY!?) and, finding a small opening in the onslaught of soles and toes, made a break for freedom. The barefoot maidens had already over run the carriage. The driver, being tramples by several pairs of size 12 soles, gave a thumbs up to the fleeing squire signaling that he was fine(but made no effort to struggle). Princess mania had overthrown all rationality and reason. On foot with the slipper, Siegfried rushed to the home of Annabella. It was now or never!

---Siegfried arrived at Annabella’s home quite winded. As soon as he knocked the door quickly swung open and the hand of the cruel stepmother grabbed him and pulled him in. The door slammed shut after he was inside. There standing before him were the greedy stepsister, but no Annabella. He went to fit them, but in a replay of his past attempts, one’s feet were way too big to fit the shoe, but she still insisted on trying until her feet were red and sore. The other’s foot fit inside the shoe but their was too much “wiggle room”. She was not a perfect fit. Even the cruel stepmother tried. Her feet were actually pleasant to look at and to smell, but once again not a perfect fit. Siegfried loitered for a moment and asked if these were the only maidens in the house. The cruel stepmother said yes, but just then a banging could be heard from upstairs. A female voice yelled, “let me out please!” The cruel stepmother said that that was just their clumsy upstairs maid. She must have locked herself into on the rooms and that she would be let out upon his departure.

Siegfried, with his knightly bravado, exclaimed, “No knight, even one in training, would ever leave a damsel in distress!”

And rushed upstairs to the aide of the “distressed damsel.”
Heroically, and a bit insanely, kicking the door down he “rescued” Annabella. Acting as if he does not know her, he asked if she was the masked maiden at the ball, she said yes. The cruel stepmother said that that was impossible, she was at home the whole time doing their laundry and washing their wares. Siegfried then presented the slipper and asked if this was hers. She said yes. The cruel step mother then shouted that there was no way she could ever afford a slipper like that and called her a liar. Sieg then put the shoe on her foot and it was an exact fit. The cruel stepmother yelled that any number of women could probably fit that shoe and that the squire should chalk this up as a fluke and look elsewhere. Annabella smiled at the comment, went inside her room, pulled up a floor board and produced a box. In this box, to the shock and dismay of the cruel stepmother and the greedy stepsister, was the other matching slipper!

“H-hoW!…w-WhEn!…”

were the only words the cruel stepmother could muster, and the greedy stepsisters(positively green with jealousy) just cried loudly. They watched as Annabella was escorted outside, powerless to stop the events in motion.

---Siegfried delivered Annabella to the prince, still in her lowly rages but now wearing the emerald slippers. The prince was overjoyed and as promised saw to it that Siegfried was knighted on the spot. That very day, Annabella and the prince were engaged to be married, and the preparations for the marriage were in full swing. The cruel stepmother and the greedy stepsisters were invited, but they declined to go…at first. Siegfried, with his newly gained power and authority, made it his first order of business that the bride’s family be present at the wedding and that they be the merriest guests there. When the day came and Annabella, dressed in an even more beautiful green gown and wearing her now famous emerald slippers, was walking down the isle to the tune of the country’s wedding march, the loud laughter of her “cackling” stepmother and her “giggling” stepsisters sitting at a grand table set aside for the bride’s family could be heard over all of the music and festivities. Annabella couldn’t believe that Siegfried got her family to not only come but be happy for her. She called him a miracle worker…but miracles had nothing to do with it. On this grand table there was a grand table cloth made out of the finest materials. Under this grand table cloth there was a grand stock holding the stepfamily’s feet in place while a dedicated servant armed with grand peacock feathers, having been promised his weight in gold for his services, kept the spiteful stepfamily “merry” until the end of the wedding AND after-party.

---Annabella and the prince lived happily ever after, and during their wedding anniversary parties, Siegfried would always make sure that Annabella’s family were always the “merriest” guests(and that a certain servant was well paid to keep them that way).​

THE END​