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HEAVEN & HELL: Tension in paradise (m/f,f/m) WARNING: Explicit

svegau

TMF Poster
Joined
Jul 27, 2004
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My newest story. This is delving into a genre I have never attempted before, so the writing may appear clumsy at times. This story features sexual intercourse which is why I added the Explicit warning in the title. Any advise anyone can give on improving my style in the genre would be greatly appreciated.

DISCLAIMER: This is purely a work of comedy for the enjoyment of my readers and is in no way, shape, or form a representation of the demographics depicted in this story!


Enjoy! :zomgrabbit:
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HEAVEN & HELL
A PARADISE OF TENSION

---This is a story about Milo Humphry. He is a rather short, stumpy, pasty, anemic man of about 24 years old who also happens to be a very successful businessman.

---Always busy with his projects, he didn’t make time for the bar scene. He was however eager to share his life and wealth with someone. So after a short and seemingly perfect courtship, he married a lovely woman that a celebrity matchmaker chose for him. He received numerous warnings from his friends and colleagues about how his current relationship with “Lilith” was TOO perfect. She cooked and cleaned for him from day one without argument, she laughed at his worst jokes, and she spent his money like it was water. But he didn’t heed their warnings. He was blinded and deafened by love.

---Milo rushed the engagement and planned an extravagant wedding. In a last ditch effort, his closest confidants urged him to get a prenuptial agreement signed, but he wouldn’t listen. He loved and trusted Lilith with his heart, soul, and money. The marriage went as planned…and when the words “Who so ever opposes this marriage should speak now of forever their your peace…” were spoken, those same confidants had to bite their lips to keep from shouting out. The rings were exchanged, the vows were made, and a kiss sealed the deal.

---The first two years of marriage were blissful and sweet. Milo woke up in a soft bed and was greeted with a smile from his lovely new bride, he would kiss, hug, and tickle her in her armpits, ribs, and lovely sweet smelling feet. She in turn would giggle merrily, “Miloooo! He he he! Cut it out! He he! Stop, I’m ticklish! He he!” Breakfast was lavish and delicious, then it was off to work. Once there Milo’s contemporaries would ask him how things were going. They tried to be friendly and supportive. One thing Milo did right was surround himself with worldly ladies and gentlemen that have experienced life first hand, not just through a text book. Those who have been played before could plainly see that Lilith had the look of a viper in her eyes. All of that prim and proper acting was just that, ACTING! Like a viper, it was the coiling before the strike. They all tried to tell him, but he ignored them. As the months went on, his friends became more aggressive with their warning and Milo became more aggressive with his dismissals of those warnings. Their discussions quickly devolved into shouting matches. The language during these matched became more and more colorful until Milo’s friends stopped holding back and began saying exactly what they were all thinking, “She’s a money grubbing Golddigger!!!”, “She’s no good for you!”, “Break it off now or you’re going to be miserable!!!”, “Ditch that Broad if ya’ know what’s good fer’ ya!”, “Dat’ dame is gonna be the end of ya!’” But Mio wouldn’t hear it… He alienated them all, then came the transfers. He sent those who were his closest friends and advisors to branch offices in different states.

---All the while this was going on, Lilith would greet him with a smile by the door when he got home. She would listen to how his day went. And then she would take him to bed, do some tickling foreplay where once again she would give him an almost rehearsed reaction, ““Miloooo! He he he! Cut it out! He he! Stop, I’m ticklish! He he!” She would then praise him as being the best lover in the world… Until the end of the second year. By that time anyone he could have leaned on for support was gone. It was just Milo and his wife. Of course by the time he noticed it was too late.

---Milo got home from work as usual. There was a short work day at the main office followed by an office party. He couldn’t help but notice that Lilith didn’t greet him by the door as she usually did. “Maybe she’s cooking up something tasty!” is what he thought. He came in though the door with a lamp shade on his head, hoping to inspire a laugh out of his beloved Lilith. That’s when he found her on the couch, sucking down an expensive bottle of red wine in a bath robe and hair curlers. She had none of her usual make-up on and the house was uncharacteristically messy. “Maybe she isn’t feeling well…” is what he now thought.

[Milo]: Hey honey… Are you alright?
[Lilith]: Oh! Hello HONEY!!! SWEETY!!! DARLING!!! How was your day…you know what, save it! I bet you want your dinner right?!
[Milo]: Well… Yeah… I…g-guess I’m kind of hungry.
[Lilith]: It’s over there.

---She haphazardly points toward the dinner table. Usually the table is prepared with a dazzling tablecloth and fine china with lavender scented candles burning, but not it is rather plain. He cared not…

[Milo]: Oh boy! Did you make your famous glazed pork chops, or maybe baby back ribs, or perhaps a succulent tenderloin?! Hhhmmm! I can’t wait…huh?!

---The items mentioned above were his usual dinner entrées, but now the only thing he saw was a hastily prepared spam sandwich… He managed to choke it down, attributing the dinner to his wife’s “ailment”. He then approached her, rubbed her shoulders, and gave her a naughty little gesture to go upstairs. She sighed and followed him up. In their bedroom he pushes her on the bed and rips off his clothing. Normally he got a reaction like, “Take me you STUD!” but now she just yawned and grabbed a magazine off of her nightstand. Milo, confused, comes in closer…

[Milo]: Oh I know what will get your motor running!

---With a wide grin on his face, he grabs her foot and snatches off her sock. She throws him a “Ho-Hum” glance and goes back to reading her magazine. She lifts her foot up to his face to tickle it with his beard stubble when he notices a rather foul odor coming from her usually fragrant feet. Shaking it off he decided to tickle her with his fingers, but all she does is yawn again! Milo, now completely perplexed, goes in for his usual performance in bed.

[Milo]: Alright! You asked for it! Here comes the GREATEST LOVER IN THE WORLD!!!

---Milo pounces on her like a beast, pulls her panties down and thrusts his phallus into her vagina. He pushes and heaves, with beads of sweat developing on his brow. She would usually be moaning and convulsing in tandem to his movements by now. He opens his eyes to view his handy work when he sees his wife, in the same position, still just flipping through the pages of her magazine! It’s as if she doesn’t even notice him!!! Milo has a screaming orgasm and then goes limp.

[Lilith]: Done yet?
[Milo]: uh…ye-ah.
[Lilith]: Good, because now there are a few things we need to talk about!
[Milo]: Like what?!
[Lilith]: There are going to be some changes around here.
[Milo]: Wha’
[Lilith]: And if you don’t like it, it leave. But I’m taking half of everything you own with me!!!

---Fast forward Twenty years. It turns out that everything Milo’s former friends said was absolutely right… Lilith is as far from perfect as can be imagined. She really did marry Milo for his money, she was NEVER satisfied with him in bed, she couldn’t care less about how his day went if she tried, and to top it all off, SHE’S NOT TICKLISH!!!

---Over the last twenty years, she has become violently jealous of anyone who gets near Milo and solidified her hold on him by using the money she allegedly squandered to buy up stock from his corporation. She has enough for a hostile take over and has threatened do so if they ever separated. So now if she divorced him, he’d be left with nothing… In the house she rules with an iron fist. Milo is now nothing more than a figure head. Lilith, using Milo’s money, bought an unnecessarily large mansion, staffed with handsome butlers, and furnished it according to her tastes alone. Milo is a brow-beaten shadow of his former self that gets “three hots & a cot” and not much else. To keep up appearances, she still lugs Milo around to her book reading clubs and her wine tasting, and her spa days. Milo now realizes that when the Justice said “Till death do you part” he was setting a goal! If only he had listened to his friends twenty years ago. Every move Lilith makes is now accompanied by the ubiquitous “I told you so” from one of his ex-friends. He can now only toe the line until he can figure a way out of this mess. He can’t give Lilith any good reasons for her to leave him or else her team of handsome lawyers will see to it that he even losses his gold fillings in the ruling. If he even looks at another woman Lilith makes his already miserable life even more miserable. What a pickle he is in.

---It is now the twenty second anniversary of their marriage…or as Milo calls it, D-Day! The day of his greatest mistake! His WORST hour! Karma was about to repay him, but at the worst possible time. Milo is about to experience tension in paradise.

---Milo and Lilith are in the study. Lilith is gulping down her second $500 bottle of wine for the day while Milo is sipping cola.

[Lilith]: Ah! That’s good stuff! Another!
[Milo]: Um, dear, haven’t you had enough. Why don’t we go out? It is our…ugn…anniversary.
[Lilith]: Oh you are so right. For such an occasion, I’ll need a new wardrobe, some new shoes, and a day at the spa!
[Milo]: What’s all that for!
[Lilith]: For my anniversary party! What else you simpleton?
[Milo]: What anniversary party?
[Lilith]: The one I just though of! Weren’t you listening?!
[Milo]: O.K….can I come to this one?
[Lilith]: Oh alright…(sigh)…if you must.
[Milo]: Yay!

---Lilith proceeded to drag Milo to all of her favorite shopping centers, to carry bags and sign credit card receipts of course. Once they got to the spa, Lilith had bought $20,000 worth of clothing, jewelry, shoes, bags, accessories, etc. while all along Milo was denied the opportunity to get anything for himself. There was even a near miss with one of the young barely legal sales girls selling perfume. She was holding the sample tray up to her chest and when she bent down go give Milo a sample, Lilith accused him of infidelity and called the sales rep a cheap floozy! It made her cry, she was just trying to work her way through school…

---In Lilith’s spa, which was filled with rugged half-naked male attendants who looked like they were all smuggling huge mangos in their shorts…, she sashayed around like she owned the place. Actually she probably did. Milo however was struggling to hold all of the bags. Looking around, there were no women in the establishment. Milo felt a bit at ease.

[Lilith]: Whew! I’m exhausted from all that shopping! Jean-Claude! I want the works!
[Jean-Claude]: Oui madam! What about him? (pointing at the laboring Milo)
[Lilith]: Oh alright, give him a rub down. By someone big and hairy!
[Jean-Claude]: Oui… In that room sir.

---Milo left the bags at the front desk, went into the room as instructed, and began to undress. Milo could see the picture of the masseuse on the wall. He was big, bulky, and hairy. Milo brooded over why he is glad to be touched all over by a hairy man when he heard the masseuse come in. He turned around and was faced with a stupefyingly beautiful, statuesque, Swedish goddess. Her legs were long and flawless, he torso was trim and sleek, her breasts were EXTREMELY ample, and her face…was not visible from the upward angle Milo was looking from (Face was being blocked by near impossibly large boobs!!!). He long pig-tails were draped long her bust line and dropped down her cleavage. She took two steps into the room and stooped over enough to see her client clearly. Now we see her face. Her skin is once again flawless. She has three symmetrical freckles in each cheek. Her eyes are like two fine sapphires set in her head by a master jeweler. And finally her teeth were sparkling white. She was tall, stunning, buxomnth, and her sole purpose for being there is to give pleasure. She should have been his [wet] dream come true, but instead with his insanely jealous wife right outside she was his worst nightmare.

[Milo]: Wh-WHERE IS THE BIG HAIRY GUY?!?!
[???]: Mine brother Sven had e-mar-gency he must go to. I am Inga, Sven older sister. I be your masseuse today.
[Milo]: NO! NO! NO! YOU CAN‘T!
[Inga]: Ya, you betcha I can! I teach little Sven everything he knows! I win awards back home in Sweden!
[Milo]: THAT’S WHAT I’M AFRAID OF!!!

---Milo attempts to make a run for it, but Inga catches him before he can get to the door. With one hand, she lifts him off of the floor and plops him face down on the massage table!

[Inga]: No need worry little man, Inga will be gentle. Now hold still.

---Despite this advice, Milo struggles like his life is in danger. And it may very well be! Finally Inga drives her elbow deep between his shoulder blades cracking and releasing a knot there, she also smothers the back of Milo’s head with her huge breasts. Milo could feel them on the back of his head and made a startling discovery…she isn’t wearing a bra! Milo could plainly feel her nipple digging into the base of his neck. At first there is a deep pain, but then it became utterly euphoric. Her fingers, which were as close to magic as any human could possibly achieve, nimbly glided up and down his back, lubricated by a medley of scented oils. Milo stared at the ground thinking of his wife, baseball, his grandmother in a bikini, Sven in a bikini!!! She worked her way up to his temples, once again her breasts are smacking him in the back of the head and he is catching small pokes from her nipples. Milo now has a clear view of her magnificent feet. She has a French pedicure and her toe nails were so finely polished that he could see his reflection in each nail. He also couldn’t help but notice their size. He slipped in his amazement.

[Milo]: How big are those!
[Inga]: Inga wears size 15 in America.
[Milo]: Oops…I didn’t mean to ask out loud.
[Inga]: Ya
[Milo]: …

---Inga goes back down to his neck, then his back again. All the while Milo is wondering if this is what heaven feels like, then she goes down to his butt!

[Milo]: WHOA! WHOA! NOT THERE!
[Inga]: Ya…Inga not go there. But you very tense there…
[Milo]: (Muttering) I’m even more tense in the front…
[Inga]: What?
[Milo]: Nothing! Nothing!

---Inga proceeded past Milo’s tense buns down his legs and finally to his feet & toes. Placing his foot between her cleavage she rubs in vigorously with both of her hands.

[Milo]: HEY! HA HA HA! TH-THAT TICKLES! HA HA HA HA HA HA! STO-HOP PLEASE! HA HA!
[Inga]: Little man is ticklish?
[Milo]: Ya! I don’t like being tickled! I prefer to do the tickling!
[Inga]: Ya, okay!

---She puts her foot up onto the massage table next to Milo’s hand.

[Inga]: You can tickle Inga when Inga tickle you.
[Milo]: …ok! Deal!

---Once again Milo takes notice of the impressive size of Inga’s foot. He feels for it but it is to big to get a full hold of. It is soft, smooth, plump and easily fills his hand with plenty to spare. She continues to vigorously rub Milo’s feet which tickles him, and in return he begins to tickle her large foot.

[Inga]: HA HA HA HA HA! HO HO HE HEEEE! THAT TICKLE! HA HA HA!

---Unlike his wife, Inga’s laughter was genuine! Once again Milo catches himself having too much fun. She then asks him to roll over. He is naturally hesitant to comply. With one flick of Inga wrist though, Milo finds himself looking up at the ceiling. Praying that the tent he just pitched under his towel goes unnoticed, the tension in his head and neck returns. A fact that Inga is quick to notice. She washes her hands at a sink in the room and goes back to his head to massage his temple and neck again. Now, face-up, her massive boobs are pressed directly in his face and her unrestrained nipples threaten to gouge out his eyes! He began to think, “Who needs oxygen!” If he could choose the way to go this would be it, but just then.

[Lilith]: Are you done yet?
[Milo]: How many times am I going to hear that one?
[Inga]: Inga has done all she can. There is big stress maker in your life. You need get rid of, then see Inga again.
[Milo]: I’d like to Inga, I’d like to…
[Inga]: I go get your bill.

---Inga exit’s the room and Lilith enters. Milo swallows saliva in one big gulp. Looking around Lilith notices the nice set-up. She then eyes the photo of the masseuse (Sven) on the wall as well as the gigantic sandals in the corner.

[Lilith]: So, how was…uh…Sven?
[Milo]: (Nervously) g-good…
[Lilith]: Good. There is your anniversary gift. Now get your clothing on and let’s go. I would be rude to be late for my own anniversary party. (she leaves.)
[Inga]: (re-enters) Here is bill. Come back to see Inga soon.
[Milo]: Sure…

---Milo leaves the spa feeling like he just got away with murder. For the first time in twenty years he had fun with a person of the opposite sex and he was smiling from ear to ear about it. There was once again a spring in his step and his wife’s constant brow-beatings and spending seemed to roll right off of his shoulders like water. At the Anniversary party (which he was allowed to attend) he schmoozed and rubbed elbows with industry leaders and politicians the way he did twenty three years ago, before his “D-Day”. That night he didn’t complain about her drinking or her closeness with the chiseled new Brazilian butler that was a cabana boy she brought back from Havana not more than a week ago. The next day…

[Lilith]: Milo.
[Milo]: Yes dear.
[Lilith]: I’m having my book club over to discuss the new best seller “Havana Heat”. It’s a book about a Brazilian Cabana boy a rich widow has a hundred nights of passion with in Havana, then brings back to America to live with her as a butler.
[Milo]: (Eyeing the new butler mentioned above) How original…
[Lilith]: So I’m going to need you to clam up for a while and stay out of sight.
[Milo]: I’ll do my best.
[Lilith]: And as insurance I hired you a masseuse. Once I saw how relaxed and well…not you…you were last night I figured that it might work again this afternoon.
[Milo]: I didn’t know you cared… So who’d you get?
[Lilith]: Oh I just called the spa we went to yesterday and told them to send Sven over.
[Milo]: oh.
[Lilith]: Here is the money for the three hour service is requested for you.
[Milo]: Th-th-three hours?!
[Lilith]: Yep! That’s how long the meeting is. Have fun with Sven! He should be arriving at the back door any minute.

---And she left. Moments later there was a knock at the back door. Since Lilith and all of her butlers were busy with the book club, Milo answered the door himself. Inga steps in. Milo is horrified.

[Milo]: INGA!?!? (whispering) where’s Sven.
[Inga]: Sven flight was delayed. Inga takes his place again. Is good to see you again little man. Nice house! Ok, we get started.
[Milo]: NO! NO! NO! WE CAN’T! I MEAN YOU! NO, I-I MEAN I!
[Inga]: No need worry, Inga be gentle like before!
[Milo]: THAT’S WHAT I’M AFRAID OF!!!

---In a replay of last time Milo tried to flee, but Inga using her long perfect legs caught up to him and using her brute strength lifts him up with one hand and throws him over her shoulder.

[Inga]: No need worry! Inga will even let you tickle her again! Where we go?
[Milo]: …to the empty room down the hall and to the left.

---And off into the mansion they went.


THE END
 
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