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SPEAKEASY & DRINK HARD: Ashikage meets Allata Sole!

svegau

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Hello All. Here is my newest story featuring my perverted ninja master Ashikage. This is episode two in the series. In this episode, we meet Ashikage's apprentice Momo. An Ashinobi Kunoichi in training. Also starring Detective Allata "Funky" Sole. This is a Semi-orininal character I cooked up combining the attributes of a watered down Cleopatra Jones and Mihoshi from Tenchi Muyo. She always gets the job done. Then again she always leaves utter destruction in her wake. How will these three team up to clean up the streets of Metro City? Read and find out.

Warning: This story contains dirty feet, foot fetish, tickling, and mild violence.

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not an accurate depiction of their corresponding demographics in real life. This story is a work of fiction purely for the reading pleasure of my audience. Please don't sue me...

Note: The artwork at the bottom of this page was done for me by an artist on Furaffinity names yowesephth. That is what Ashikage looks like.


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SPEAKEASY & DRINK HARD​
ASHIKAGE MEETS ALLATA SOLE!​


(Typing) The mean streets of Metro City, where the meanest and most rotten of the criminal elements gather, are safeguarded by one brave heroine! The fiery femme fatale uses her looks, her brains, and her brawn to out maneuver, out think, and outfight all evil doers. This most courageous super girl’s name is…

[???]: SOLE!!!

[“Sole”]: eek!… Er…yes chief?


---“Sole” is a young and shapely woman of Afro-American decent in her late twenties. She has a form fitting tank-top on that ends at her mid rift, bell bottom pants, and large platform shoes. She has her hair done up in a large golden afro that seems to quadruple the size of her head. Her body is sleek and muscular. (Think Cleopatra Jones + Mihoshi [Tenchi Muyo])

[Chief]: What are you typing!

[“Sole”]: (Whining) Chieeeeef… Since you won’t let me go out and safeguard the “mean streets” I’m typing up some of my past adventures so that should anything happen to me in the line of duty, future generations will know of my heroic deeds.

[Chief]: Chaotic deeds is more like it! Detective Sole, do you know how much the damages from your last “adventure” cost the tax payers of this city?! $200,000!!! TWO!!! HUNDRED!!! THOUSAND!!! And all over a purse snatcher. Do you know how much money was in that purse? $19!!!

[“Sole”]: How was I to know that? Plus the crook was trying to escape! I couldn’t just let him go! It would ruin my perfect record!!! Plus isn’t $200,000 a bit excessive?!

[Chief]: Well let’s see… you knocked over 8 people during the foot chase, caused a 20 car pile-up during the car chase, plowed through an outdoor wedding which the couple is suing the city for, and sunk your patrol car in the river…AGAIN!!!!!!

[“Sole”]: Well…

[Chief]: And then there was the “Adventure” before that when you cut down a 300 year old tree to save a kitten! That tree was a city landmark!

[“Sole”]: But the little girl was so happy to have her little mittens back. It was all smiles at the reunion…

[Chief]: Alderman Kingly wasn’t smiling when that tree landed on his new Corzette!

[“Sole”]: Oops… B-But…

[Chief]: Save it Sole! I don’t want to hear it! The only reason you still have a job here is because you always catch your suspect and by some miracle no one gets hurt. You’d be the perfect cop if you didn’t leave utter and complete destruction in your wake!!! Now just go back to your patrol and if you see any purses get snatched you STAY PUT and Call for back up!


---The Chief buries his head in his hand and begins to rub his temples as Ms. Sole walks out. The department’s newest recruit walks in and greets the detective with a salute. He walks forward and gives his full report regarding his beat, it was uneventful. The chief dismisses the rookie, but he loiters for a moment and then he asks…

[Rookie]: Excuse me sir, was that… Allata Sole?

[Chief]: Yes… yes it was…

[Rookie]: Wow… Sorry sir, but she’s a legend at the academy. She set records in combat shooting that still stand. It’s been five years now and her name is still at the top of the high score board! They say she’s world class.

[Chief]: yep…

[Rookie]: And I also heard that her hand-to-hand skills are nothing to sneeze at! She is the only trainee to ever beat an instructor! Wow, but she looks much…um…

[Chief]: I know. You wouldn’t guess just be looking at her. She looks more like a dancer that a fighter. Her grades in all classes were excellent too. All the departments in the tri-state area were clamoring for the young phenom’ from the academy. I was the one that got her though. I THOUGHT I had lucked out. How was I to know…

[Rookie]: Sir?

[Chief]: In the five years she has been on the force she’s caused me to have four kidney stones, three ulcers, two nervous breakdowns…

[Rookie]: And a partridge in a pear tree…?

[Chief]: DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY ROOKIE!!?

[Rookie]: No sir! Uh… She left some mighty big shoes to fill back at the academy.

[Chief]: Yep. Her records are going to be hard to beat.

[Rookie]: No… well yes but I mean she left a pair of gigantic shoes in her old dorm room. If those were her boyfriend’s he must have had a monstrous…

[Chief]: Nope! Look across there.


---The chief pointed outside of his office door directly at Ms. Sole’s desk. She was put there some time ago so that the chief could keep an eye on her.


[Rookie]: What am I looking fo…

[Chief]: Look down.

[Rookie]: …SAINTS PRESERVE US!!! Do you see the size of those shoes!!!

[Chief]: All the time.

[Rookie]: …!

[Chief]: She keeps them there while she’s working and changes them while in the office.

[Rookie]: I see…


---Some time passes while the chief and the rookie banter about stories involving Ms. Sole’s exploits. Sometime later, Allata returns from her patrol. She slumps down in her seat.


[Allata Sole]: (bored) All clear… Nothing to report…

[Chief]: Quick rookie! Close the door!

[Rookie]: What’s wrong sir?

[Chief]: The first thing she does when she gets back is take off her shoes! And trust me, when she does that the only safe place to be is behind a closed door.

[Rookie]: Oh c’mon sir. How bad could it be? My girlfriend kicks of her shoes after a long walk all the time, and its hardly even noticeable.

[Chief]: Don’t question me rookie! Just do it! Hurry!

---The rookie gets over to the door and shuts it just as Allata is getting her first shoe off. She then removes the second shoe and throws both of her feet up onto her desk. She begins to spread and wiggle her toes with a sigh of relief. The rookie looks on with amazement at her big caramel colored soles and long toned legs.

[Chief]: Good work. Another second and you would have found out why some call her “Funky” Sole! And it’s not just because of the way she dresses! Lucky all my other detectives are working cases right now.


---(Ring-ring Ring-ring) The telephone starts ringing. The double ring always means official business. A fact that Allata is acutely aware of. She separates her feet enough to peer between them. The chief answers, keeping a stern eye on Allata.


[Chief]: Hello? Oh Hello Mr. Mayor. How’s the wife and kids? What’s that you say? A case?!

[Allata Sole]: !!!

[Chief]: You need someone to investigate the mysterious bombings at the Metro City Port?! Isn’t that a job for the boys in the bomb squad? … The bomber uses an unknown explosive?! … Leaves no traces of the bomb to study you say?!

[Allata Sole]: !!!!!!

[Chief]: Sorry mayor! I don’t have anyone available!

[Allata Sole]: I’M AVAILABLE!!! (She springs up and starts running toward the chief’s office, SANS SHOES)

[Chief]: Who was that? Uh, no one. That was just the radio! (Gestures to the rookie to lock the door) I’ll let you know as soon as I do though. (Hangs up.)


---The rookie moves toward the door and locks it. However this does not even slow Ms. Sole down. She rams the door at full speed and knocks it down. She then tramples on the rookie beat cop. The rookie has just caught the full brunt of Ms. “Funky” Sole’s funky soles. The chief continues to deny Ms. Sole the case until he notices the rookie’s face changing colors. With the utmost reluctance he finally gives in.

[Chief]: Alright Allata Sole, you want an assignment? Fine! But I’ll be tarred and feathered before I let you go anywhere near a maniac using high explosives! You cause enough damage on your own!!! The City is having problems with illegal high-proof alcohol trafficking right now. More and more reports of drunk sightings and speakeasies have been coming in, but whenever we send our boys in uniform they never find anything. Something is fishy! Your assignment is to observe and report any activities regarding the establishment of any speakeasies in the area. Observe and report those seen entering and exiting suspected establishments. And observe and report the owners of such establishments.

[Allata Sole]: Right! I’ll bust the ring leaders right away! (She runs to her desk, grabs her holster, and runs out. Still sans shoes…)

[Chief]: (Yelling after her) NO! NO! OBSERVE AND REPORT!!! OBSERVE AND REPORT!!! …I need a drink… (Pulls out a wine cooler) About 40 of these should do.


---On the other side of town, a small and familiar cloaked figure is walking down the street with a young kunoichi. The girl ninja, dressed in plain clothing, seems a bit nervous where as the cloaked figure, identified as “ashikage” is snacking on an ice-cream cone.


[“Kunoichi”]: Master Ashikage…

[Ashikage]: Yes Momo?

[Momo]: I’m a little uncomfortable…

[Ashikage]: It can’t be helped my dear apprentice. As you know, whenever an individual judged to be superhuman or simply too dangerous stirs up trouble, defeating them by conventional means would be both costly and messy. Because of this, they hire me to face such individuals and if possible (and it always is) capture or arrest them. I understand that you would be uneasy when faced with such a person, I was too at first. But take heart young one, our efforts will help to maintain balance in this world.

[Momo]: Not that… Everyone is staring at us…


---It isn’t everyday you see a small oddly shaped person in a black robes being followed by a pretty young lady that towers over “it”. By tower I mean she is of normal height, it is the ashikage that stands at a rather short 3’5” tall.


[Ashikage]: Let them stare. The city has no shortage of weirdoes. We will just be two among many! Ha ha ha!

[Momo]: I don’t want to be a weirdo!

[Ashikage]: I’d say you already are…

[Momo]: NO! …so just who are we after anyway?

[Ashikage]: His name is Joikeem Allhumbra. He has discovered the art of making paper bombs with mystic symbols. From what I am told, he uses playing cards and paper airplanes to produce concussive blasts that disorient and disable his opponents. With minor changes to the symbols the explosions can become…more severe. You should be careful when we find him. Leave him to me.

[Momo]: Gladly.

[Ashikage]: Is there anything else troubling you?

[Momo]: Yes there is… Could you please keep that thing under control.

[Ashikage]: (Sarcastically) Don’t I always?

[Momo]: PLEASE!

[Ashikage]: (Looks away) …

[Momo]: Oh come on!

[Ashikage]: Stay alert. I’ve received word that our quarry is in league with the local mobsters, so it is likely that the police are already looking for him as well. One of our objectives is to protect the police…

[Momo]: Protect the police, master?!

[Ashikage]: Yes my apprentice. They mean well and are dedicated to protect and serve, but they are ill equipped and unprepared for such a threat. That is why we must safeguard them from the shadows, take down Allhumbra, and let them move in on the mob and close its operations.

[Momo]: So THEY get all the credit… Sometimes being a ninja sucks.

[Ashikage]: Having second thoughts?

[Momo]: No! Not at all. I was just thinking it would be nice to get some praise for some of the good that we do.

[Ashikage]: I suppose it would, but as ninja we must forfeit such luxuries. Come now, let us get under way.

[Momo]: How do we start. We have no contacts in this city.

[Ashikage]: Remember my apprentice, “birds of a feather, flock together.” If we want to find a infamous bad person, we must ask a bad person where he or she can be found. And seeing as how we are on the “mean streets” of the city, that shouldn’t be too hard.

[Momo]: How would such a person know where to go?

[Ashikage]: Crime lords and mobsters usually control turfs or areas of a city. So the person we will ask will most likely know where not to go, so that they are not treading on someone else’s turf.

[Momo]: Makes sense…I guess. Okay then how do we find bad people, it isn’t like they walk around with “Bad Guy” stamped on their foreheads.

[Ashikage]: True. But with a trained eye you will be able to pick them out. Sometimes it is actually quite easy. Look there.


---The Ashikage points to a man staggering out of a door. He appears completely off balance and obviously intoxicated. Those around him are taking great pains to ignore him, but he belligerently taunts and goads them.


[Momo]: A drunk? Every major city has them.

[Ashikage]: Not this one. Any alcoholic beverage with a higher proof than a wine cooler has been outlawed in Metro City. Plus look where he came from.

[Momo]: (Looks) Joe’s Hardware?

[Ashikage]: Even if hard liquor was legal, that is not the place you would expect to find a drunk. They must be running a speakeasy.

[Momo]: A what?

[Ashikage]: A speakeasy. It is a place of business that has a legitimate front, but contains hidden areas where people may partake of illegal and controlled substances. Of course speaking of such places aloud is taboo, and those inside whisper so as not to alert the general public hence the name speakeasy.

[Momo]: Okay. So lets go over and grill ‘em! (Begins to march toward the drunk)

[Ashikage]: Hold it! (Grabs on to her) If you just go over there asking a lot of questions, he will think we are cops. We need to approach this delicately, remember we cannot draw attention to ourselves.

[Momo]: Alright. So what’s the plan?

[Ashikage]: Well, first we…


---The sounds of police sirens can be heard in the distance. The people in the street scatter. The drunken man tries to flee but topples over and falls. The men in Joe’s Hardware store peek briefly out of the window and then retreat inside. The Ashikage’s brow twitches as he looks on the scene and sighs.


[Momo]: Master, Some one in the crown must have called the police.

[Ashikage]: Yes. What rotten timing.

[Momo]: What? Why?

[Ashikage]: By the time the police arrive there will be no signs left that there was ever a speakeasy here. Those who run such establishments practice hiding their elicit activities at a moments notice should suspicion ever fall on them.

[Momo]: Bummer.

[Ashikage]: Indeed.


---The squad car pulls up and the door opens.


[Ashikage]: Come. We must depart and plan a new strategy before we are seen.


---First to exit at the bottom is a large caramel colored dirty barefoot, then another. On top a large golden afro emerges. Then a devastatingly beautiful female form. With her small frame revolver in hand she sashays over to the drunk on the ground. The drunk scurries to his feet, pulls out a small switchblade knife and begins to wave it at the female officer. Curiously, she holsters her gun. The drunk rushes her, but all in one fluid motion she grabs his forearm, disarms him, and applies an arm lock that immediately disables him. Wrestling him to the ground and pinning his shoulder to the ground with her knee, she proceeds to handcuff him. The sole of her broad plump barefoot is now visible for all the world to see. She begins to read the drunk his rights, but she will soon be interrupted…

[Momo]: We’d better go if we don’t want to be discovered master… Master? (Searches for It.)

[Allata Sole]: I am detective Sole. You are under arrest for illegal possession and usage of controlled and illegal substances. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of… (SLURP!!!) EEK!!! Ah ha ha ha!

[Momo]: MASTER!!! NOOOOOO!!!

[Ashikage]: (LAP!-SLURP!-LICK!)

[Allata Sole]: H-Hey! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!


---The ashikage was literally feasting on the detectives candy colored dirty sole. Its tongue lashed out and lavished wet saliva all over Ms. Sole’s sole until it was sparkling clean! Momo quickly rushes in, grabs her master’s tongue and roughly shoves it back into her master’s mouth. Detective Sole cuffs the drunk to a lamp post and then turns around to confront the interlopers who seem to be having a tense conversation.

[Momo]: (Agitated whispering) I thought we were supposed to AVOID contact with the police.

[Ashikage]: (Licking and smacking its lips) A ninja must always be ready to adapt to a changing situation my dear apprentice.

[Momo]: (Agitated whispering) YOU’RE THE ONE THAT CHANGED IT!!!

[Allata Sole]: Excuse me, Who…or what…are you!

[Momo]: I apologize on “his” behalf. I am Momo, this is my master Ashikage. And you are?

[Ashikage]: DELICIOUS!!! (Bonk!) Ow…

[Momo]: MASTER!

[Allata Sole]: I am Detective Allata Sole. I’m with MCPD and I’m currently investigating the spread of illegal alcohol in Metro City. Civilians should clear out.

[Momo]: Wait! I know we may not look like much, but you will need our help.

[Allata Sole]: Don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t be a cop if I couldn’t take care of myself.

[Momo]: I’m sure you could ordinarily, but there is a very dangerous man now involved with the local mobsters. We have been…contracted…to deal with this person.

[Allata Sole]: So you two are PI’s?

[Momo]: Sort of… You see we…

[Ashikage]: Shh! Momo look.


---A person is peeping at the three of them from inside Joe’s Hardware Store. He retreats as soon is he is noticed. Momo and Detective Sole take note of this and start to look around, there are many eyes staring at them from in the shadows and through the windows.


[Ashikage]: This isn’t a safe place to talk. Detective, do you know of any places near by that aren’t controlled by the mobs?

[Allata Sole]: Sure. Let me radio for a car to come pick up this perp and then we will go.


---The radio call is made and the three get underway. Directly after Momo and Ashikage buckle up, Detective Sole mashes the Accelerator with her toes and the car takes off like a rocket. To put is simply, Detective Sole drives like a maniac! She weaves in and out of traffic as if taking part in some high speed chase. Upon reaching her destination she drifts and slides into an empty parking space. A frantic call comes in over the radio about getting reports of a squad car doing 80mph in a 30mph zone, and nearly causing three accidents. Allata picks up the radio and responds “Just working the case chief!”, and turns off the radio as the man on the other end was throwing a major fit. The three exit the car in front of Odenki Sex Clinic.


[Momo]: A sex clinic?

[Ashikage]: Interesting choice.

[Allata Sole]: Yeah. The mobs used to strong arm the owner of this place too, but when the “Sleeze & Shyster Corporation” took over ownership, the local crime bosses backed off. I suppose they didn’t want to tangle with a corporate entity that big and powerful.

[Ashikage]: Perhaps…


---The group enters and begin to discuss matters pertaining to the mobsters and Allhumbra. A rather heated session in the background seems to be distracting Momo.

[Allata Sole]: Okay, here is how it goes, you tell me what you know and I’ll tell you what I know. Deal?

[Female Background]: Doctor it’s terrible. He just can’t satisfy me!

[Momo]: …

[Ashikage]: Deal! (Sniff sniff)

[Allata Sole]: And stop sniffin’ my feet!

[Male Background]: I’m normal! Your just insatiable!

[Ashikage]: No promises…

[Momo]: ???

[Background Female]: Oh please! I’ve had sneezes that lasted longer than you!

[Momo]: Um?!… Do we need to do this here?!

[Ashikage & Allata]: Yes!

[Background Male]: I’m normal I tell you!!!

[Momo]: (Sigh)

[Ashikage]: The man you and your police force must beware of is Joikeem Allhumbra. He’s found out how to make paper bombs using mystic symbols.

[Allata Sole]: Paper bombs? You mean like magic?!

[Background Doctor]: Here, take this cup and this Sleeze & Shyster Magazine and we’ll do some tests. You can fill it in the next room.

[Background Male]: Okay Doc. (Door opens and closes)

[Ashikage]: Yes, you could say that. Any scrape of paper around him can act like a bomb or a mine.

[Allata Sole]: Really?!

[Momo]: I’m really uncomfortable here…

[Background Doctor]: While we wait, why don’t you tell me what you normally…

[Background Male]: YEAH!!! (Huff Huff) (Door opens and closes) Here you go Doc, all filled up! Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.

[Momo]: But… that was only…

[Allata Sole]: You know…There have been some unexplainable explosions lately at the docks. Also, we’ve received tips that there are quite a few underground pubs there. But whenever anyone goes to investigate it all seems legit.

[Ashikage]: I see.

[Background Female]: You see! And that’s after slipping Viagra in all of his food!

[Background Male]: WHOA! Hold on! You drugged me?!

[Momo]: Oh my…

[Ashikage]: So the docks are our next destination.

[Allata Sole]: Exactly!

[Background Doctor]: Okay… Sir I’m going to write your our strongest prescription. It does take some time to work though. So until it does, I’m also going to write a prescription for you ma’am.

[Background Female]: For what?

[Background Doctor]: For a super powered vibrator.

[Momo]: A super powered what

[Ashikage]: I can tell that you are very active in the streets.

[Allata Sole]: Because of my hard work and newspaper articles!

[Ashikage]: Because of all the dirt I liked off of your sweet soles. If your weren’t active there wouldn’t be so much…

[Allata Sole]: Oh…

[Background Male]: What!

[Background Female]: When you say super powered, you mean?

[Background Doctor]: You should bite down on something to keep your teeth from chattering!

[Background Male]: What!!!

[Background Female]: Oh my!

[Momo]: Oh my!

[Ashikage]: As such we should be the ones to go in. They won’t know us.

[Allata Sole]: (Pouting) Oh man, I wanted to get the bad guy. But you might be right on this one.

[Background Female]: So what kind of batteries does this vibrator run on?

[Background Doctor]: It doesn’t run on batteries. It runs on diesel fuel…

[Background Male]: DIESEL FUEL!!!

[Momo]: Diesel Fuel!!!

[Allata Sole]: I’ll set you up with a bug and send you in. When that Allhumbra guy is taken care of MCPD will move in.

[Ashikage]: Agreed.

[Background Male]: So, where do I come in?!

[Background Doctor]: Don’t worry, you sir are very important. After all, someone has to pull the rip-cord to get the motor running.

[Background Female]: Wow!

[Background Male]: WHAAAAT!!!

[Momo]: Oh brother…

[Ashikage]: And if at all possible, could you keep this alliance under your hat. In our line of work our greatest asset is that no one knows about us, so we’d like to keep it that way.

[Allata Sole]: Okay, if you insist.

[Background Female]: Thanks for everything doctor!

[Background Doctor]: No problem!

[Background Male]: Oh come on. Baby you don’t need that! Please baby, please baby, baby, baby, please!

[Momo]: Poor guy…

[Ashikage]: Alright. Let’s get going.

[Allata Sole]: Cool. I’ll drive you over…

[Ashikage]: Ah, we will walk.


---The group departs, on the way out the encounter a middle aged woman smiling from ear to ear and a depressed looking man behind her. Momo gives the man an encouraging pat on the shoulder and then they part company.

---Ashikage and Momo take a leisurely stroll toward the docks. They take in the sights, the sounds, the smells, the tastes, and Momo has to pull her perverted master away from the feet of more than a few city babes. Naturally they all just dismiss It as a typical city weirdo, although It was pepper sprayed a few times.

---As the setting sun cast the last rays of the evening on the docks, our two ninja arrive. Upon initial survey, they notice a great many characters lining benches, standing under light posts, and staring out of windows. These people are obviously lookouts. Should any person or vehicle that even remotely looks like law enforcement come near the area, any and all signs of illicit activity would simply vanish just like before. The docks have an unusually charged atmosphere. The sounds of raves in many of the warehouses and parties on the ships can be heard everywhere, but will readily disappear at a moments notice.

---Momo and Ashikage travel through the outskirts of the docks to determine the true size of their operating area and spot the lookouts. Once they find a blind spot in the mob’s security, they signal an unmarked van to advance. Detective Sole comes out and beckons the two ninja over. Momo greets the detective with a bow and Ashikage greets her with a kiss on her toes (Which is quickly followed by a sharp blow to the head from Momo). Allata gives them each an ear-bud to discreetly communicate with each other and with her, then bids them good luck.

---Momo and Ashikage split up and enter the docks on opposite ends. The plan is to scan the dockside area from both sides and signal the other once one of them had found a reliable lead. Allata will stay behind in the van and wait for ashikage’s signal before she puts out an A.P.B. on the entire port.

---As Ashikage and Momo scan the crowds, they can see and hear an assortment of illegal activities. Everything from illegal gambling to prostitution is plainly visible at the heart of the dock area, all with a backdrop of booze. Jin-soaked citizens litter the area. One especially loud boozer can be heard crying about how his wife prefers some diesel powered machine over him!


[Momo]: Poor guy…


---Then there is a break in the case. One of the Jin-soaked young men decides to put the moves on Momo. He claims to be “in tight” with the local bar scene. Momo tells the man that she could go for a nice cold wine cooler, and the man responds “I don’t mean that sh*t! I mean the REAL stuff! I can hook you up babe!” Momo, pretending to stroke her hair, turns on her ear-bud and agrees to go with him. Upon entering one of the dockside diners, the man has a rather complicated yet obviously coded discourse with the waitress there.

[Man]: I’m here to meet “Toddy”.

[Waitress]: I see… What would you like tonight.

[Man]: I’d like some “Hard Stuff” with “Red-Eye” “Sauce”.

[Waitress]: We have the “Hard Stuff” but will “Firewater” do?

[Man]: Oh, alright… Get is here fast and there’s a big “Tipple” in it for you!

[Waitress]: Right away sir!

[Momo]: What was that about?

[Man]: That’s how you gotta order a drink here babe. Dang…

[Momo]: Something wrong?

[Man]: Yeah. I normally drink Long Island Ice Teas, but lately they ain’t got the stuff to make it.

[Momo]: How come?

[Man]: Supply and demand babe. The city is runnin’ dry. The last shipments of rotgut have been stopped by the darn police. But I hear their bringin’ the next shipment in by sea. A BIG ONE.

[Momo]: How big?

[Man]: Big enough to drown this whole city in booze! Keep us liquored up for years!

[Momo]: How could they bring in such a large shipment under the police’s nose?

[Man]: Heh, now this is just what I’ve heard on the wind. You see that big tanker out there. The one on the longest dock marked “S&S Co.”

[Momo]: The oil tanker?

[Man]: Oil…heh. It ain’t carryin’ oil honey!

[Momo]: Well (leans in) what is it carrying honey?

[Man]: (Coyly)Don’t know… But every crime boss in town wants it.

[Momo]: Reeeeally. Interesting.

[Man]: Who ever controls the contents of that tanker will control the bars in this city. All of the underground bar owners will have to buy from them. However, there is only one person who could possibly end up with it all.

[Momo]: Who?

[Man]: You sure ask a lot of questions…

[Momo]: (Rubbing his chest) J-Just curious, honey.

[Man]: (Grins) Oh ho ho… Alright. The Berlowta family.

[Momo]: Why is that (Rubs his thigh) honey.

[Man]: (Grins wider) Because they got this new enforcer. The guy is messy but goes about it in a clean way.

[Momo]: Huh?

[Man]: Yeah. Whenever anyone disrespects the Berlowta family nowadays, something of theirs explodes. But get this, he never leaves any traces of the devices he uses. The police can’t even determine the type of explosive. Who ever he is, he’s got them all baffled. I doubt even his boss knows how he does it. It’s like magic… Without knowing how that mystery bomber operates, none of the other crime lords would dare to outbid them. Lucky bastards can then sell that haul for whatever amount they want because there isn’t anyone else the bar owners can buy from.

[Momo]: Wow, you sure do know a lot.

[Man]: I like to stay well connected babe. You know, after that deal goes down, this place will be one of the first to get the goods. Stick with me and you can be the first to get all the best stuff!

[Momo]: Sounds good! Hey, hold my drink for me would you, I got to go tinkle.

[Man]: Sure, hurry back babe.


---Momo goes into the bathroom and climbs out of the window. She meets Ashikage outside, worshipping the feet of a woman who apparently had way too much to drink that night. She softly giggles as ashikage’s tongue glides between her toes and caresses her arches.


[Momo]: Master, did you hear.

[Ashikage]: (YUM!-SMACK!) Every word. (Bonk!) Ouch!

[Momo]: PLEASE CONCENTRATE MASTER! We know where we have to go, so let’s go already.

[Ashikage]: Your right… (He reluctantly leaves)

[Drunk Lady]: (Hic!) Usually it’s pink elephants…(Hic!)


---The pair make their way to the longest dock and dash toward the huge tanker anchored there. Halfway down the dock they are stopped by a well dressed man in a trench coat. He gives a bow and approaches the duo. He bows again and hands them both his business card, it is adorned with the Berlowta family crest and other symbols. The gentleman then takes a few paces back.


[Gentleman]: I’m sorry, but there is a private meeting taking place on this ship. I must ask you to leave.

[Ashikage]: That’s fine, my business isn’t with anyone on the ship… (It takes the card out of Momo’s hand and throws both of their cards away, they blow away in the wind for a few moments then EXPLODE!) It’s with you Allhumbra.

[Allhumbra]: How did you know?!

[Ashikage]: That isn’t important. By the way, did you know that you can use paper to make things other than bombs?

[Allhumbra]: I don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about! But my secret will die with me and you will die right now!!!

[Ashikage]: We shall see. Get back Momo.


---Momo retreats to a safe distance as the duel between her master and Allhumbra are about to begin. Allhumbra pulls out entire desks of cards, all with the bomb symbols on them. Ashikage produces a small paper fan with a different set of symbols drawn on it. Allhumbra expertly throws his bomb cards at Ashikage, but It waves the fan which produces a huge gust of wind and deflects the bomb cards over the water where they explode harmlessly.


[Allhumbra]: How can this be?! You know how to produce that much wind with paper?! My paper bombs are still better!

[Ashikage]: Allhumbra my friend, you are just a one trick pony. Observe and you may learn something!

[Allhumbra]: RAAAAA!!!


---Allhumbra readies another volley of cards, but as he is about to pitch them Ashikage produces another paper talisman and throws it down onto the wooden dock which causes it to quake violently. Allhumbra is thrown off balance as he launches his cards and ends up throwing them clear over his opponent’s head, where they again explode harmlessly. Frustrated, Allhumbra lets loose with another volley of cards, but now Ashikage produces another paper talisman which he throws up in the air. It suspends itself up there and begins to spin and rain water down(like a sprinkler) which washes off the ink used to draw the bomb symbols, making the cards duds. They bounce right off of Ashikage’s body.


[Ashikage]: I hope you are taking notes.

[Allhumbra]: You BASTARD!!!


---Allhumbra launches the remainder of his arsenal, sending dozens of his bomb cards and paper airplanes at Ashikage. It stands It’s ground and pulls out one last talisman. This time it is written on a large poster board. The poster board absorbs all of the cards and paper and begins to fold itself in half, then again, and again, and again, and again, and again and again, until it literally folds itself into oblivion. Once again, no explosions.


[Ashikage]: Lesson over. I believe you learned something today, which is good. But I’m still giving you detention…

[Allhumbra]: Alright. I give up. You win. Just tell me how you made those?!?!

[Ashikage]: Sorry Allhumbra, trade secret. (Putting his hand to his ear) All clear!

[Allata Sole]: Roger!


---The call was sent out and within moments all available police units were at the Metro City Port. The crime lords which were watching the duel from the deck of the ship were dumbfounded. They looked for the Sleeze & Shyster Co. sales rep. to orchestrate an escape, but she was gone. The “S&S Co.” markings on the side of the ship dissolved without a trace. Of course all the store owners and warehouses initiated their concealment plans, but Detective Sole had more than enough recorded from the wire tapes to justify full and thorough searches of all establishments on the docks. And try as they might, the crime lords just could not come up with a good enough story for why they were on an unmarked and unregistered ship full of hard liquor at night. There were those that resisted the police, some opting to shoot it out with them. Dozens of bottles of liquor are shattered as the police and mobsters exchange gunfire. But Allata Sole’s expert marksmanship and close-quarters-combat techniques brought a quick end to these conflicts while preserving life and limb on both sides. Naturally, there were no signs of the two “PI’s” that had helped her with the case. They had long made themselves scarce. Once all was under control the Chief and Alderman Kingly made an appearance.


[Chief]: Sole! You cracked the case and you didn’t destroy anything! Good work!

[Kingly]: Indeed. Thanks to your hard work and dedication we kept thousands of gallons of illegal alcohol off out fair streets. I‘ll see to it that you are awarded the Key to the City! (Goes into his jacket pocket and fishes out a cigar. He begins to pat his pockets looking for his lighter.)

[Allata Sole]: Allow me sir. (She produces a match, strikes it against a wall, and lights the cigar)

[Kingly]: Thank you Sole.


---Allata Sole discards the smoldering match over her shoulder… which ignites a trail of alcohol which was made when the bottles broke during the shoot out, the trail of fire runs back to the bar area and ignites the rest of the alcohol behind the bar causing a big explosion. One that blows one of the bar stools out of the window and into Alderman Kingly’s Rose Royce (The one he got to replace the Corzette she destroyed), which knocks the parking brake lose and sends it rolling back into a warehouse full of ceramic pottery, porcelain fixtures, and crystal china…Miraculously no one is hurt.

[Kingly]: (Sobs)

[Chief]: …gurrrr

[Both]: SOLE!!!!!!!!

[Allata Sole]: Er…So when should I pick up the Key to the City…


---The next day, Our ninja duo are checking out of a motel on the outskirts of Metro City. Momo has just gotten the morning newspaper out of the vending machine outside. The front page story is about the big alcohol bust at Metro City Port. All of the major crime lords in the city were caught red handed and incarcerated. The article goes on to say they the lead Detective of the case, Allata “Funky” Sole was being held down by the Chief of police and viciously tickled on her bare feet my Alderman Kingly. When questioned why, both said “No Comment!” In other news a wife divorces her husband after a 10 year long marriage in favor of a high powered diesel engine vibrator…

[Momo]: Poor Guy…



THE END
 
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