Tickling... chasing what we can't have?

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Well love I supose it's only natural to "want what you can't have" - be that you're denied something/someone or what ever. Anything like that usually feels more attractive to you, it's kinda like the whole secret desire thing so thats not unusual.

Having said that it sounds like you've got a girl who should be right for you (assuming she is nice, offers you more than just a good tickle buddy etc) and you wouldn't want to loose her. So perhpas it's just the variety in tickling you're lacking. If you're mainly just doing the "tie and tickle" thing without much variation it could get boring I guess, try changing it up a bit and keep the changes coming and see if that helps.

But also love you sound like me in that you like the tickling to be a challenge (they can fight back or what ever). I'm not a big one for "tickling for fun", I'm more a fan of "will they fight my attempts to break them"/some resistence/challenge etc so perhaps you need to introduce some of that to you're play? Either way love I don't think you'd be here unless tickling was part of what made you tick, it's just a matter of exploring how/why/where etc that ticking can be made to work for you.

You're girl sounds like she'd be open to trying things, which should hopefully allow you two to explore, talk about it with her too (just don't make her think you find her boring), that can help as well. Good luck

You might be over thinking it a bit. It's obvious that tickling is part of what turns you on but the degree to which is different for everyone. Some like their lees completely immobile some don't even like bondage. Just do what feels good for both of you and what's safe.

Sounds to me like real life tickling isn't enough like your fantasizing. Tickling in real life doesn't look/feel/sound/taste/smell or seem like the tickling in your fantasies.

LD_Tickler said:

Sounds to me like real life tickling isn't enough like your fantasizing. Tickling in real life doesn't look/feel/sound/taste/smell or seem like the tickling in your fantasies.

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It doesn't? Oh wait...you said HIS fantasies.

I don't have that reaction. When I get a lot of tickling, I still want more.

Well, what do they say? Sex is never as good as you imagine it to be while jacking off!

rhiannon said:

Well, what do they say? Sex is never as good as you imagine it to be while jacking off!

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I've never heard them say that, but I'm sure it's true.

Maybe you are just not into bondage as much as you thought. The love of tickling, the control, the helplessness, the laughter, the touch.... You might respond to all of those things, but maybe you just don't want her all tied up and immobile.

I think tickle wrestling is pretty hot, and before I knew that tickling was something to be "into", rolling around and being pinned down, dominated, and tickled to desperation was all I got. AND I LOVED IT! In fact, I still do. The bondage is for protection of my ler (and... well... I also find is sexy and kinky... woohoo)

I don't really see anything wrong with the fact that you would rather have someone fighting and wriggling under your fingers instead of tied up. Plus, people like tickling to varying degrees. Just because you are not one of those lers that tickle someone for 10 hours.... that doesn't mean something is wrong with you, or that you don't like tickling.

As previously mentioned, fantasy usually never equals up to reality. If you are lucky, sometimes it does... It's hard to pinpoint the reasons you are having difficulty, but I don't believe you should so quickly assume that something is wrong with you when there might not be.

Think about it...
Sunny

I think that you're like me in that you like tickling, but you don't like bondage. Unfortunately, the dominant theme around here is that bondage tickling is the "holy grail" and anything less is not as epic as that, and that's by far the wrong approach to have. Hell, for me, it's not even about domination. Horror upon horrors, right?

I think you should try some different scenarios and see what works best for you. There's definitely a very specific, and somewhat narrow focus to what's presented here, and it's not for everyone. You should go your own way and see what develops.

I said it first... NEENER!

Sunriseticklee said:

I said it first... NEENER!

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Don't make me come over there.

Phineas said:

Don't make me come over there.

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*raises eyebrow....

To do what?

It may just require mentally focusing, to re-hardwire your brain yourself to enjoy the real life aspect of it more. Because it's a fantasy, you may have developed walls in your head that you're not aware of, that you'll have to break down yourself to get to that next level.

When it's a fantasy, you have no restrictions. There's no human there to bounce off of. You subconsciencely know that when a real person's there, they may show disgust, revulsion, be a bitch, say they don't like it, etc. This will destroy you, because even if you THINK people will say that about you.....they haven't really, so there's hope that they'll be totally accepting of you. If you actually HEAR it, there's no denying that reality and it'll kill you unless you have a stomach of steel.
This is why so many guys will dream of asking the hot girl out, but never do it - you can always imagine she'll say "yes," even if you're sure she'll say know. There's always hope. If she actualy tells you NO, ....ouch! You can't deny the hard cold reality.

And these thought processes will always be there, even if you have a willing ticklee. Maybe you're afraid she'll react once in disgust, and then it's all over with.

I've always been impatient with guys or girls who will end a great relationship because their partner doesn't like tickling, but I've softened my stance after realizing that yes, that is one hell of a kick to the gut, and a fundamental pain/let down/attack on you when they attack or are repulsed by something that's a part of you you can never change.

You're very, very lucky to have met more than one willing 'lee...who WAS ticklish.
Since you're so lucky, don't keep losing them!

The mental processes I'm talking about are similiar to the ones guys or girls use who have strong fetishes, and must get past them in order to have normal sex. Some guys can't have sex with out tickling at all, and must eventually learn to focus and have normal sex, or they say alone unless they happen to find a woman who will tolerate being tickled EVERY TIME they have sex.

I mean fair is fair, and at some point, unless she is falling on the floor-can't think straight when you're around-gets excited when your name is mentioned-in love with you! she will at some point just want regular sex.

And on the same note - there are plenty of guys and girs here who ONLY want the real thing! Hopefully they'll chime in.
For example: for the pantyhose/stockings lovers, there's nothing like feeling and seeing a girl in pantyhose and tickling a girl in pantyhose to watching it on video. The bare footers are probably the same way. The senses go into overload with the real thing, and maybe that's why the reality isn't so hot - your brain can't process that much info, so it kind of shuts down, and you're sitting there thinking "ehh, that was alright...."

I'd say it's more you've become habituated. You're just used to her. I personally love variety in tickling. My wife knows I'd love to have a rotating stable of tickle-slaves. In my mind there are too many unique laughs, too many different reactions, and too many new experiences with tickling to limit myself to one. And it means I get all the tickling I want (theoretically, actually getting a few very available tickle-partners is not easy), without forcing her to give up...well any free time she might have. I mean, I like to eat, and I have to limit my tickling activities so she can cook. And eat. Andh ave alone time. Ok, very early in the AM, and I'm rambling, but I have an insatiable tickling appetite. If one woman were to try and fulfill it all, she'd never be doing anything else. And it's nice to do other things with one's wife.

I'm not suggesting you try to talk her into letting you tickle others or anything. Not suggesting anything, really. Just saying how it is for me. If tickling a a purely sexual thing for her, she won't get it.

But I don't think it's anything abnormal that you're feeling.

Christopher