Need some advice

Hey everybody, I rarely post here, mainly because I rarely have anything original to ask or share. But now it's different. I have recently started dating this girl whom I've known for a long time. She lives in a different city now, but visits quite often. She is extremely ticklish, but says she hates it, expect when she's drunk. She also says she hates having her feet touched or even looked at...unless she's drunk. This leads me to believe that she actually enjoys it, but I'm a nice guy who doesn't want to mess anything up because she is an incredible girl, so I don't push the issues when she's sober. She does, however, love tickling me. Never thought of myself as a lee before, but have grown to enjoy it in the last month or so. We've talked about handcuffing - her being way more into me being cuffed than herself, but not completely against it. My question is should I tell her just how much I am into tickling, and if so how, or just suck it up and change my status to strictly lee?

gatortickler said:

My question is should I tell her just how much I am into tickling, and if so how, or just suck it up and change my status to strictly lee?

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It's a law of nature that if you turn yourself into something you don't want to be in the first place to stay in a relationship with a female, you will invariably lose both your self-respect and the girl.

You gotta be yourself. If she is unwilling/unable to accept you for who you are, then you should think about looking elsewhere for a relationship. This goes for vanilla relationships as well as those that include fetish activity.

Best of luck.

Have you talked about using cuffs with tickling or just by themselves for other sexy activities? Either way I say you should be honest with her about it, but if you've already talked about tickling + bondage, you're in a pretty good position to open up about it. And who knows, maybe if you tell her how much you enjoy tickling her she'll let you do it more.

Just tell her what you like but,don't change for her because you can't it won't work.

I would say that while it is kind of sweet and nice-that you want to please her and you want to make her happy-want in some way to meet her half way-that if you don't see or feel yourself to be "strictly lee" that it is crucial that you don't label yourself that-because if you don't see or feel yourself to be that-then you should not claim that as your tickle status. You should be open and honest, bit straight forward, not blunt but gentle but firm on what you want and how you see yourself to be in this -"strictly lee" is not the status you identify yourself as. I think it is sweet that you are trying to be open to being a lee at times-allow her to tickle you-that is sweet-don't get me wrong.

However if you don't really enjoy and don't see yourself as a strict lee then you should not claim that for yourself, no crime in that. I mean I would be gentle but honest with her if I was you. I mean you could say that while you want to please her and make her happy-while yeah lately you have enjoyed being tickled by her as a lee-yeah you enjoy it, enjoy at times being submissive-that you dig more being the one that does the tickling-since she hates to be tickled-you won't tickle her, that yeah she can tickle you and you like it a lot, but you don't see yourself strictly lee-since that is not you. Hope that helps and makes sense.

I mean if you feel your tickle needs are being met, you have a happy relationship with her and have great times with her-other happy aspects of the relationship is being fulfilled that is great and more power-more best wishes to you, if so that is great. However if you feel your tickle or emot/ or sexual needs are not being met-you feel that in some ways you might be imcompatible, might be best to talk about what you feel might be wrong-see if you both can't reach a pleasant mutual agreement-or make a pleasant compromise -somewhere in the middle so you both have your needs met and won't feel slighted.

Hope this has helped and please keep me posted and us posted on if these suggestions and advice helps you or not, best wishes to you on this. Good luck.

I agree with Viper wholeheartedly.

Gotta be open/yourself. Just let her know that you're into that and work it out with her. Usually, people are considerate when it comes to things of this nature, but don't be too surprised if she becomes very... weird about it? At any rate, don't just drop it now simply because you want to; feel it out, and wait til you think you're both comfortable with this sort of conversation.

And yeah, don't change yourself for someone else; it just won't work out in the end. That's a major relationship breaker. You think you're dating someone, but you're actually dating someone else because of this charade they put on.

As for the drunk bit... hm. I wouldn't read into that at all, if I were you. I think it has less meaning than what you believe, but that isn't to say that there is nothing in it. What I think is going on there is that stuff that would normally bother her isn't as much, because she isn't as aware of her surroundings as she normally would be. But yeah I don't know her at all so etc.

Etc.

Be yourself: Be The Ler.

ElFewja said:

I agree with Viper wholeheartedly.

Gotta be open/yourself. Just let her know that you're into that and work it out with her. Usually, people are considerate when it comes to things of this nature, but don't be too surprised if she becomes very... weird about it? At any rate, don't just drop it now simply because you want to; feel it out, and wait til you think you're both comfortable with this sort of conversation.

And yeah, don't change yourself for someone else; it just won't work out in the end. That's a major relationship breaker. You think you're dating someone, but you're actually dating someone else because of this charade they put on.

As for the drunk bit... hm. I wouldn't read into that at all, if I were you. I think it has less meaning than what you believe, but that isn't to say that there is nothing in it. What I think is going on there is that stuff that would normally bother her isn't as much, because she isn't as aware of her surroundings as she normally would be. But yeah I don't know her at all so etc.

Etc.

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she ma be a bit insure so that maybe way she only lets you tickle her when she is drunk .