Purgatario Chapter One (Messy Version)

I think this is bad, but it tells part of my feelings at this moment, and what I want. Alas.

Tension, panic, run.

For me, the cat and mouse game with my demon has begun.

I remember when they gave it to me, and when they told me to care for it.
I think it's obvious to the angels, I let that fall through.
I let him grow too huge. At first, I oppressed him.
Now He opresses me.
Saddest part about it is...
He can be a she.

It's learned a lot.
I'll attest to that.
I taught it everything it knows.
How to steal, and to lie, how to fear and to hate.
How to get up early to do wrong.
And for benediction, being late.

Sweat, heartache, guilt.

Reversing the roles is so hard to do,
all my life I've benefitted,
Now I am the fool.
My armor rusted, custom fitted;
Now I am the tool.

Backward glance, heartbeat, gasp.

My scream won't be a scream, I dream,
It will only be a rasp,
Among the other screams before Hell is borne,
placed upon my back,

Or is that now, that burning hell what,
Makes me feel like I'm on the rack?

A gasp, Attack. Debate, belittle, belate.

Too late to train it?
Yes.
No.
Of course it is.
Not at all.
Affirmative.
Denied.
I speak the truth.
You lie.
Too little too late, I do as I please. I'll make the pain your soul incurs, the biting of the fleas. And when you try, to buy a time, a moment of some rest, I'll be there, you beware, I'll be your little pest! I thank you now, for building me up, your arrogance, and unmet needs. Such uncivilized desires you hold, are mine power's seeds.

No.
Yes.
You lie.
You can attest.
I can.
Allow me.
Deny the beast. Deny deny deny!
You cannot unexist me, the power is not thine!

Pat on the shoulder, whisper like thunder.

Teach her, don't fight. Lead her, don't alight. Feed her, what is right.
Solve his errancies, ameliorate his tragedies, Bring him greater might.
The monster can't hear me, but it does well fear me, because I am the light.

Exemplify yourself, and they will sally forth,
Degrade yourself, and you have lost your worth,
Your melody astounding, are then a broken chord.
When your desire to defend, isrerouted by thy lord,

Follow.

Turning around, sidesteppiong a beast, running like the wind,
Darkness around me, a tightly winding cloak,
Severing my lusts from body, the clicking of the yoke.
Looking for ground, where is my book, I can not defend,
Where is the book, benesath my feet, or carried on the wind?

Psst. In your heart.

It's arteries are clogged.

So?

I can not feel sympathy.

But you cvan feel fear.

Yes....

Get the book. Do what is right. Teach. Don't be a Jonah.

WHo are you?

Teach her. Lead her. Do that which is right and you'll have no fe-ar.
Do what is wrong, and you will be far gone.

Implement plan, catch beast, teach. Surprise. It works.

Now the place is lighting up, it's a totally different land.
I see I'm not a king, but, an ordinary man.
My arrogance is gone, I'm somewhat much more free.
And the patternways are clearer to see.

Turn around. Thank your helper.

Who are you and why?

No one was there, but there was one reply.

Conscience.

You can think this is bad all you want, but I love it. I really dig your style here, very original, very cool. I loved the punch of the dialogue mixed in. The whole mysteriously dark tone, your descriptions...these stuck with me the most:

"I remember when they gave it to me, and when they told me to care for it.
I think it's obvious to the angels, I let that fall through.
I let him grow too huge. At first, I oppressed him.
Now He opresses me."

and

"My armor rusted, custom fitted;
Now I am the tool."

and this dialogue here:


"Too late to train it?
Yes.
No.
Of course it is.
Not at all.
Affirmative.
Denied.
I speak the truth.
You lie.
Too little too late, I do as I please. I'll make the pain your soul incurs, the biting of the fleas. And when you try, to buy a time, a moment of some rest, I'll be there, you beware, I'll be your little pest! I thank you now, for building me up, your arrogance, and unmet needs. Such uncivilized desires you hold, are mine power's seeds."



and

"Now the place is lighting up, it's a totally different land.
I see I'm not a king, but, an ordinary man.
My arrogance is gone, I'm somewhat much more free.
And the patternways are clearer to see.

Turn around. Thank your helper.

Who are you and why?

No one was there, but there was one reply.

Conscience."

...bang!


...actually like I said, I really just dug the whole thing. It does have a little to do with how although you weren't sure you liked it, you still posted it, because you were really feeling it. If you really feel the work you put out, it will always be good because it's true to your artistic expression. You did a wonderful job of expressing yourself here Jesus . And you created a very deep and imaginative work, haunting and inspiring. Thank you for sharing it

You're welcome Myth, now the next time I do something, I'll make sure It gets wirtten up. Yay!

Incidentally, I was writing this while venting on another forum. This is part of that vent, just, not in that chat.