Denise's Belly Button Torment (f/f)

This is my very first thread (yeah, I know, I've had this for a while now XP). Just thought maybe you should know that before any harsh criticizing.


Ok, so I'm not the best at writing stories. This is actually my first attempt at writing a tickle/torture story. The main character is almost completely based on my girlfriend and the story somewhat on a plan that her friend Crissy and I thought up. It's not finished yet, but yeah...hope you enjoy. Again, it's not the best.

This is all about the belly and belly button, beings that I have a MAJOR belly button fetish. So I'm sorry to all the foot and armpit fetishists out there, this is only belly and belly button. Also, my fetish is slightly sadistic, so it may get a bit more...painfull in the 3rd part.


Looking for Part II? Here's a quick link so you don't have to go hunting and shoot your partner in the leg or something... >.>

Part 2: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?p=2664817&posted=1#post2664817


Constructive critisism is highly encouraged and appreciated.

PART I

Denise Walthersmith was in quite the predicament. Her hands were cuffed and pulled above her head. She looked up, feeling her short brown hair brush against her lower neck, and saw that she was held by chain hanging from the ceiling, attached to a hook. It didn't hurt and she could stand flat on her feet, but Denise realized that her shirt, a low cut white tank top that was already a bit too short for her, had risen up to just underneath her perfectly shaped breasts. Her belt had been undone and discarded and her low rise jeans were now sagging, exposing her entire belly.

Chris had a huge grin on her face. A sadistic glitter shone in her beautiful green eyes as she reached out and traced a circle around Denise's belly button with her long nails.

"Hehehhehee plehehehease-" the trapped student begged as the older woman began to tickle her belly. Her brown eyes widened as she saw Chris produce a long, black feather. "No, don't-" the woman began to tickle Denise's belly button with it, darting in and out. "Aaahahaha! Plehehease stooop!" the younger woman burst into rapid-fire giggles, squirming, struggling to get away, but never succeeding. Her laughter eventually turning into pleading, begging screams of torment.

“Ah pleeease, NO!” Denise screamed out as her belly helplessly squirmed about. “Not my belly button! Noooo! Please! Stooop!”

Chris now ditched the feather and walked around behind Denise. Reaching around she dug her long nailed finger into Denise’s bellybutton, feeling the woman buck and scream in her arms. The woman pleaded through laughter to let her go. Chris was getting incredibly turned on, but the begging just wasn't enough.

“Nooo!” Denise screamed and wiggled like crazy, her body convulsing wildly. “Please no! Get your finger out of my belly button!”

Moving back around to the front Chris tickled the sides of her belly as she knelt and began to lick and kiss the belly button. In the meantime, the tortured college girl thought she was losing her mind. Her stomach hurt from laughing so much and she was starting to feel a little dizzy.

“Please no!” Denise cried, “Get out of my belly button!”

Chris just continued tonguing her deep navel, burying her hot wet tongue in it and wiggling it about. Chris had reached the core of Denise’s soft, deep navel and continued to lick the innermost part of her belly button. Denise screamed and madly squirmed about in a futile attempt to get away. What felt like tiny, shocks of electricity jolted through her, starting from the core of her bellybutton and surging throughout her body, sending off small explosions in her mind.

“Oh no! Please stop! Not my belly button! NOOOO!”

After a few minutes of torturing her, Chris finally let up to let Denise rest and catch her breath.

"Don't you just love being tickled?" Chris asked playfully.

"Please, stop!" Denise screamed and writhed, trying to get away.

"Why?" Chris asked, nibbling around her belly button, "Why do you want me to stop?"

Standing up, Chris turned Denise into a laughing, squirming mess as her fingers played around with her bellybutton. Her long nails first traced circles around it. Then she drilled her finger deep into Denise’s belly button. Her body violently convulsed, trying to shake Chris’s finger out. But again, she couldn’t manage to get away from it. As she screamed, laughed and bucked wildly, she started feeling dizzy again.

Then Chris held up a rather large shiny knife. It looked like your average pocket knife, but three to four times its size. Denise tried to back away and tugged hard at the restraint, but again failed to get away. Chris poked her belly with the oversized pocket knife lightly and played with her belly button with it. Denise looked pleadingly at Chris, who pulled her arm back and thrust.

Denise felt the blade press against her belly and heard a quick “shink.” Suddenly, everything went black...

(To be continued)

Fantastic ... but i think you should write longer than this.

putri@nila said:

Fantastic ... but i think you should write longer than this.

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it is longer. i'm still working on it. i should have the other half up by tomorrow. if more than that comes along...well, it just does. if it's not up tomorrow, then it means i got punched in the face by writer's block or something and i'll have it up some other time. thanks for the input! ^_^

Nice to see some belly-centric stuff on here as opposed to all the foot/nylon stories. I agree with the previous respondent though that longer stories would be fun as this one shows a lot of promise.

Here's hoping part 1 didn't really end with a stabbing!

suikoden said:

Nice to see some belly-centric stuff on here as opposed to all the foot/nylon stories. I agree with the previous respondent though that longer stories would be fun as this one shows a lot of promise.

Here's hoping part 1 didn't really end with a stabbing!

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Yeah, i wish that there was more stuff focusing on the belly/belly button as well. thanks for your input! i'm really working on the next part to make sure it's not disappointing.

very good story

littletickler said:

very good story

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thank you very much! ^_^

psykodude said:

Constructive critisism is highly encouraged and appreciated.

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As others have said, definitely length. This is more of a scene than a story. Don't be afraid to make 'em long. Some of the very best stories here with some of the most comments are damn near novellas. So feel free to expand.

"perky young breasts" made me grin. You can can do better than that.

Good descriptive as far as the action goes. But, it's mostly all surface. Which is perfectly fine if that's what you were going for so this is a subjective note. Me, I wanna know what it "feels" like for her. How it's affects her, what she's thinking, trying not to think of, is she embarrassed, turned on, hating it, or is she secretly loving, etc. That sorta thing. Little bit more in depth. I find that it adds an even hotter element to it.

Other than that, cool, fun, dangerous little scene.

i've done some quick editting, but due to time restraints, that's all i can do for now.

So I assume you watched Hostel before writing this eh ? ;p
That is a scene that popped in my head when I read it anyways and it was a fine scene ^^
Anyways nice story/scene or whatever they call it here.
We as aspiring writers still have lots to learn so we can still make these beginning errors ^^
Anyways curious to see what else you can come up with.

00feather said:

So I assume you watched Hostel before writing this eh ? ;p
That is a scene that popped in my head when I read it anyways and it was a fine scene ^^
Anyways nice story/scene or whatever they call it here.
We as aspiring writers still have lots to learn so we can still make these beginning errors ^^
Anyways curious to see what else you can come up with.

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uhh...Hotel? never heard of it. XP but now i'm curious...can you send me a link?

psykodude said:

uhh...Hotel? never heard of it. XP but now i'm curious...can you send me a link?

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Dont know the link but i'm quite sure you can watch it on watchmovies.net.
Be warned it is not for the feint of heart ;p
And just type in Hostel 2, There is a scene of a girl chained up upside down and it kinda reminded me on your story xD
especially after your ending with the blade

00feather said:

Dont know the link but i'm quite sure you can watch it on watchmovies.net.
Be warned it is not for the feint of heart ;p
And just type in Hostel 2, There is a scene of a girl chained up upside down and it kinda reminded me on your story xD
especially after your ending with the blade

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OH! IT SAID HOSTEL! XP my bad, MAJOR dyslexic moment there. (and i'm not even dyslexic!) yeah, i read that wrong... >.>

psykodude said:

OH! IT SAID HOSTEL! XP my bad, MAJOR dyslexic moment there. (and i'm not even dyslexic!) yeah, i read that wrong... >.>

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Haha so I assume you know it ;p
Btw check friend requests will ya xD

a nice start

That is one looong flashback xD
Good one.

Keep going - this is great work, you are building in some depth and background here which is always appreciated.

Small suggestion though, you should put subsequent parts in their own threads as people might not know to check back on this one to find the new chapters.

to 00feather: yeah, i know. XP it was supposed to be short, but after it started it just kept going.

to suikoden: uhh...wha? i don't really understand what you're saying..the part about subsequent parts in their own threads?

Well following convention on here, some people may not be checking back on this thread and may be waiting for a new thread with "part 2" in the subject line. Most people post a new thread for each chapter so some people might miss out if you just post the new chapters in this thread.

Know what I mean?

really? i usually see people posting continuations of their stories in the same thread. at least, that's what i saw back when the Official Bellybutton Forum was still around. but then again, those weren't really broken into parts, so i get what you're saying. i'll go ahead and separate it. thanks again bro!