Ice cream

Okay, so after reading some poems here I thought it would be fun to post one of mine. Might not be the best, but I would really like feedback, both positive and negative!


Ice cream


- Which ice cream do you want to buy?

I don't know!
Do you have one for a confused heart?

Do I want an ice cream?
Do I need one?
I'm not that hot.
Not anymore.
Now that you're gone.

Three years.
You've been chasing me for three years.
Chasing my mind, my heart, my nightdreams, my daydreams,
my soul.
Now you're not.

'Cause you're gone.
And no one else cares.
But I do.
Will I ever see you again?

Which ice cream do you buy, when a secret you've kept for three years suddenly disappears?
Which ice cream do you buy, to relief a confused heart?

Which ice cream do you buy,
to find the answer?

Whooooa. This was a surprise. I read this and thought, AWWW!! How cute!! It's about ice cream!!

Then it wasn't.

This was awesome. And...sad and beautiful and sad and a LOT deeper than I first thought it'd be.

Very touching Sweed. It was simple yet you touched on an emotion felt by all, not just ice cream lovers but that emptiness. That craving to want to find something that fits in that new hole and have it fit. If there's any truth to this then I hope you find what kind satisfies.

YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! You posted one. Oh and I'm SO freakin happy you did. That was great hon. Seriously so simple and perfect and touching and just...wow. Thank you so much for sharing.

I love that you took something so cheerful and usually childlike in association and connected it to a lost love. It made it feel like this was a young girl speaking of her first love because of trying to find solace in a scoop of ice cream...and not even that could cheer her up. Only brought her more confusion and frustration. Could just be how I read it. Fantastic association.

Please keep posting!

I echo the two people above me. I usually don't read a lot of poems or anything, but I thought this was really clever! You has a talent

Marquis De Sade said:

Whooooa. This was a surprise. I read this and thought, AWWW!! How cute!! It's about ice cream!!

Then it wasn't.

This was awesome. And...sad and beautiful and sad and a LOT deeper than I first thought it'd be.

Very touching Sweed. It was simple yet you touched on an emotion felt by all, not just ice cream lovers but that emptiness. That craving to want to find something that fits in that new hole and have it fit. If there's any truth to this then I hope you find what kind satisfies.

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Aw, thanks Marquis!
That was the whole point you know. I wanted to surprise people, that's how I picked the title. The poem itself is not much about ice cream, even though I was buying ice cream IRL when I figured out the idea of the poem, but you can read it in so many different ways depending on who you are, which is a part of what I like about poems and stories.

And once again, thanks!
It's a true story, yeah, but I don't care much about finding the right ice cream to it, I more likely want to find the end of it or at least an answer to the unanswered questions. But I realise you can't always do that, so therefore writing about it can be pretty nice as well. Especially with such awesome readers.

SoundSiren said:

YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! You posted one. Oh and I'm SO freakin happy you did. That was great hon. Seriously so simple and perfect and touching and just...wow. Thank you so much for sharing.

I love that you took something so cheerful and usually childlike in association and connected it to a lost love. It made it feel like this was a young girl speaking of her first love because of trying to find solace in a scoop of ice cream...and not even that could cheer her up. Only brought her more confusion and frustration. Could just be how I read it. Fantastic association.

Please keep posting!

Click to expand...

Thanks Siren! Yeah, you motivated me. And all the nice poems here!

Yeah, that's one way of reading it. I though of that aspect as well when I read it after I had written it. The childhood waved in in the world of adults, just like any teenage life is.

My reason of writing it had not much to do with ice cream though, as I said before to Marquis, but that's the charm of poems! One poem can be read in so many different ways, and that's very intressting to see!

I might. Thanks anyway and thanks for introducing me, this wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, haha.

Carsomyr said:

I echo the two people above me. I usually don't read a lot of poems or anything, but I thought this was really clever! You has a talent

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Thanks Carso!

Oh Sweed, that was wonderful . A few lines struck me quite personally and I got a little teary eyed. Thank you so much for sharing this

That was sorrowful, simple, and majestic. I loved it.

I know I'm superlate here xD, but thanks guys
I'm so glad you appriciate this

Sweed! How did I miss this. Good work. Well thought out.