In terms of content, that was probably a really hot, interesting story. I say probably because the format makes it extremely difficult to read. So I didn't read it. There were obvious spelling and grammar errors that tend to make my teeth ache, even beyond the problem of having everything clumped together into large blocks of text. Here's the thing, if you're going to spend a few hours or more writing a story, spend a few minutes (at least) proof-reading it and putting into an easily readable form.