The Return of Pimpenstein (F/M)

The Return of Pimpenstein


Chapter 1
City Hunted

I’m walking the streets of L.A. at night, as I sometimes do when I want to be alone, taking in the scenery as well as the night air. After awhile, I begin hearing footsteps behind me. Looking back, I see a very large group of women following me. What is really odd about this group is that these women are from every anime I’ve watched with my friend Corey. When they see me look back, one of them shouts, “Get him!” and they chase after me. I run with the wind, taking a right turn here; a left turn there, then I duck in one of the side alleys. I run down the alley, almost tripping on my own footing as I run. I hear some running footsteps in my direction, so I try to find a hiding place, accidentally kicking a can. My heart skips a beat and my eyes grow wide in horror as the can rattles and echoes in the alley as the footsteps draw closer. Ever so closer…

Then the footsteps go past the alley I went into as one of my pursuers shout, “Don’t let him get away!” Then the footsteps vanish in the distance. I let out a deep breath and cock my head to the corner of the alley to listen for any more sign of pursuit. After a minute, I hear nothing.

“Looks like they’re serious this time,” I mutter quietly to myself, “No pain. No gain.”

Suddenly a voice right above me shouts, “Then this won’t hurt a bit!”

I look up to see Ryoko sticking halfway out a building wall and drop a net right on top of me.

“What the…? ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!” I screamed as electricity surges through my body. After a brief smell of ozone, I fall unconscious.

I wake up to find myself tied on top a large round table in an “X” fashion. The surroundings indicate I’m in a restaurant, most likely Chinese, judging from the decor. I also notice I’m now barefoot and bare-chested. All the girls are standing around the table with their arms folded.

“Wakey, wakey, Brand,” Ryoko said. I turn my head to see her standing behind with her face just a foot above from mine.

“You let me out of here, and I mean like right now!” I demanded. Spit was flying out my mouth as I said this.

Another voice spoke out, “No way! After all the trouble the girls and I went through to get you? Uh-uh.”

I lift my head to the left where the voice came from. There stood a short woman with spikey red hair. That told me right off who she was.

“Washu. I should’ve known you had a hand in this,” I said, “That net had your name written all over it.”

“Of course I made the net,” she said with pride, “Even the greatest scientific genius has to have a hobby or two.”

“You’re warped Washu!” I replied hotly.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Washu said, “Right now, you’re in a very ‘ticklish’ situation.”

As if on cue, several girls stepped forward and took positions around the table I’m on. I recognized them immediately. Kiyone took position beside my left foot while Shampoo stood by my right. Yurika stood on my right with Nabikki beside her, who was busily counting money. Ryoko and Ayeka stood on my left, and shot a look of pure hatred at each other that looked like it could melt solid steel. “No love lost between those two,” I thought. Mihoshi and Nene took positions at either side of my head. Washu stayed back and pulled out a small unit that looked like a VCR remote. She pushed a button and a small orb began floating about two feet above me. I knew now why my shoes and shirt were removed, but I was puzzled why they didn’t start.

“We’re waiting for someone to come over,” Washu said, “He should be here any minute,” Then she said to the other girls, “Hey girls. My scanner shows his ‘hot spots’ are getting even ‘hotter’. I guess anticipation does work.”

After she said that, I began struggling against my bonds, but couldn’t budge an inch. They did a very good job tying me down. Kiyone glided one finger on the sole of my foot. I yelped, “Cut it out!”

Washu came over to me, “Now, now, Brand. We can’t have you get hurt now. Do we girls?”

All the girls shook their heads in unison while she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small canister that resembled an inhaler. She placed it no more than six inches from my face and sprayed. The gas that came out of it didn’t knock me out, but made me groggy and weak as if I was drunk.

“There. That’ll keep him calm for awhile,” she said and she ordered one of the girls who stayed back to get a couple of pillows to place under my head and feet. After what seemed like an eternity to me; “he” showed up at the restaurant. Washu took out another canister and sprayed its contents. It sobered me up immediately.

“Here’s our friend Brand,” Washu said, “I believe you know him.”

It was Corey. He was holding a small black bag. He boldly walked to my right side and looked at me with a large smile across his face.

“Comfy Brand?” he said.

“If I find out you’re the mastermind behind this Corey, so help me God,” I hissed.

“Uh-uh. I’m only the errand boy,” he said, “Here you go girls. As I promised.”

Shampoo took the bag and opened it; dumping the contents onto the table. Several large feathers fell out, two items also that looked like king size Q-Tips, and one sonic massager. Nene and Mihoshi each took one of the “items” while Shampoo, Nabikki, and Ayeka divvied the feathers. Kiyone took the massager. They were ready to begin when I said, “Hold it! What did I ever do to you guys?”

“Nothing. Yet,” Ryoko said with huge grin, “Let’s get started.”

At that point, Nene and Mihoshi began moving those things around my face, especially around my cheeks, which are very sensitive. Shampoo placed a feather between each finger of one hand and started sliding those little devils between my toes while Kiyone was slowly tracing a figure 8 on my sole. Nabikki and Ayeka were tracing the tips of their feathers along my sides while twirling them with their fingers. Yurika and Ryoko were not doing anything, but the looks on their faces showed they were getting impatient. All the different styles they were doing kept me off balance and I couldn’t resist at all. After one minute, I completely lost it.

“Plheeheeheease. It tihihihickles. Sthahahahap hihihihit. Nohohohoho mohohohohore. Sthahahahahp tihihihihihicklihihihihing meheeheeheeheeheehee,” was all I was able to say.

Washu pushed a button on her remote and looked very satisfied with what she was saw on her display, “Okay. You two can now begin.”

“About time Washu,” Ryoko huffed.

Yurika and Ryoko had their hands up, ready for the kill. All I saw through the haze was Ryoko wiggling her fingers and having a huge toothy grin on her face. She began lowering her hands slowly, savoring the moment, towards their destination.

“Nohohohoho,” I said, “Pleheeheeheease. Dohohohohon’t.”

“Sorry Brand,” Yurika said with a tone of innocence and mischief, “We want to see who gets you tonight. Hee hee.”

The instant their fingers touched, I felt a familiar sensation creep over me. I gathered all my remaining strength for one last attempt.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” I screamed.

Chapter 2
A Dream or an Omen

“No!” I said very groggily. I shot up sitting upright on my bed. Breathing heavily. I also grasped at my stomach, feeling a slight tingle there. Lina let out a low moan as she began waking up from her sleep. She sat up next me and rested a hand on my shoulder.

“Brand?” she asked, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” I said more calmly, “It was that damn dream again.”

She knew about the dreams I was having over the past four weeks, for I had explained them to her. The dreams were always the same, and they were becoming more frequent to the point I’ve been having them almost every night. I lay back down and tried to get back to sleep.

“Would you like something to help calm you down?” she asked.

“No,” I replied.

Lina laid back down on the bed and draped an arm across me. I began sweating a little for fearing that her hand would drift down towards my belly and sneak a quick tickle there, but she didn’t.

“Brand?” she asked.

“What is it?” I responded.

“I’m worried. This is the 15th time you’ve had the same dream.”

“Keeping score?”

“I’m concerned Brand. This isn’t healthy.”

“If it’ll make you feel better. I’ll call Amy and set up an appointment with her tomorrow.”

I kissed her and she went back to sleep. I wasn’t able to for my heart was doing the minute race in 30 seconds. I couldn’t believe what I said. Call Amy? What was I thinking?

“Oh well,” I thought. I couldn’t get out it now and after some thought; it was probably better this way. If Amy wanted “him”, it would save me some cash.

As I started to drift off to sleep, I wondered about the dream. Was it just a dream, or a premonition? So many questions. But one thing was for certain: Something was looming over the horizon.

Chapter 3
A Little “Get-together” With Friends

The clock read 7:05 a.m. when I awoke. I quickly got ready for the Friday workday. After making fruit smoothies for Lina and myself, I turned on the radio to get the latest traffic reports. Lina was all ready for work when she came to the kitchen and took the glass I left for her. She was wearing a basic blouse and slacks outfit with low black boots that complimented with her dark colored slacks. After sitting down and sipping on her drink; she said something to me, but I wasn’t paying attention.

“Brand?” Lina asked a second time.

“What?” I responded.

“I just wanted to remind you about tonight. Will you be ready?”

I knew what Lina was reminding me of. “Yeah,” I replied, “I’ll be ready.”

“Great,” she said, “They expect us around 6:00 tonight.”

“Don’t worry,” I said as I finished my drink, “We’ll be there.”

After looking at my watch, I got my things together and left for work. As I drove to my destination, I couldn’t help wonder how much my life changed. Nine months ago my friends Jim and Corey introduced me to Lina. That same night, they conspired to get me to relax around girls. It backfired however, and Lina got more than she bargained for. Even after that whole mess, Lina still wanted to go on another date. We dated solid for six months, and Lina wanted to take the next step. I agreed reluctantly she could move in with me.

“Who knew?” I thought as I was nearing my destination, “Now about this little party tonight.” I felt I was going to be the “odd man” there. After all, I didn’t know any of Lina’s friends save Mica, whom I got to know on the occasions Corey and I double dated. Lina assured me everything would be fine. She even gave a heads up about each of them so there wouldn’t be any surprises.

“Lina better keep her hands to herself,” I said to myself as I parked my truck. I knew the last thing both of us wanted was for “him” to make an appearance there.

I thought no more on the subject. I began working and didn’t stop until it was time to leave.

I left for home around 4:30 p.m. and arrived home around 5:15 p.m. I got my mail and entered. Lina wasn’t here yet.

“Good,” I thought, “Maybe I can freshen up and get ready before Lina gets here.”

I started to clean up. Ten minutes later, I heard the front door close.

“Lina?” I asked, “Is that you?”

“Yes Brand,” Lina answered, “Are you getting cleaned up?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Lina didn’t answer. Several minutes later, the door to the washroom opened. I looked out and saw Lina standing no more than three feet from the shower. She had a towel wrapped around her middle. Otherwise, she was completely bare.

“Lina,” I asked, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to take a shower silly,” she replied.

“But the shower is already taken. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“And?”

“Lina,” I said in response, “Do you remember what happened last time?”

“Sure I do. But it won’t happen now,” she said as she stepped into the shower, “We have to be at my friends’ place around 6:00. It’ll be quicker this way.”

After getting out and drying myself off, I went to the bedroom. A few minutes later, Lina walked in as I was putting on some cologne and combing my hair.

“I’ll be out of here in just a bit,” I said.

“No hurry Brand,” Lina replied.

As soon as I finished combing my hair, I left the bedroom and went to the main room to watch a little television. Lina came out five minutes later in another blouse and slacks outfit. Her blouse was an off white color, probably cream, with dark charcoal gray slacks. Her hair was done in the ponytail style I was accustomed to seeing her wear. She came in with her high black shoes tucked in one arm. She sat next to me on the couch and started to put them on, which gave me a good look at her perfect feet.

They were indeed perfect. They were a size 9 with well-proportioned and shapely toes, going in the proper order from the big toe to the pinky in size. Her arches were nice and they didn’t have any callus on them. She really knew how to take care of them. The black nylons she was wearing complemented her outfit nicely. She finished putting on one shoe before she turned her head and caught me staring at her feet.

“Like what you see?” she asked.

“Yeah I do,” I replied.

She finished putting on her other shoe and we left after locking up. We arrived at her friends’ place around 6:15. Lina knocked on the door and a girl answered it. She was about the same height as Mica with long black hair and dark blue eyes. She was wearing a sweat suit with Notre Dame on the front and was barefoot. Like Mica and Lina, she had a very nice complexion and smooth light skin.

“Lina!” she exclaimed, “It’s so nice to see you again.”

“Hi Reg,” Lina answered, “Can we come in?”

“Sure. Come on in.”

After letting us in, I saw Mica and Corey sitting on the couch engaged in friendly chat. Lina and I seated on the other end and talked with them while Regina went towards the bedrooms and told her roommates that Lina was here. A moment later, Regina came out followed by two others. The shortest of them had short, dark hair. Nice complexion and very petite. The other was about the same height as Regina. She had long blonde hair like Mica, but styled somewhat differently. She had two long, thin side tails of hair one each side with two mini buns on top. They both have beautiful blue eyes that sparkled. After seeing the other blonde girl with that ridiculous hairstyle, I collapsed and fell face down on the floor.

After several moments, I felt a slight stinging sensation on my face as if I was being slapped. I moaned softly and opened my eyes to see a familiar face staring at me intently. It was Amy.

“Brand? Brand?” she was asking, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I replied, “You can stop now Amy. I’m alright.”

I got up and crawled to the couch and sat down. A moment later, Regina came from the kitchen and handed me a glass of water.

“Here. Sip on this,” she said with a look of worry.

“Thanks,” I said and took a deep breath, “I’d never thought I’d say this, but, ‘I would never thought I’d see the day.’”

“You mean Samantha?” Corey asked.

“Yeah,” I said, “The first night when I met Mica and Lina in their outfits was bad enough. But this,” I pointed to Samantha, “This takes the cake.” I took a sip. Corey was trying to keep a straight face.

“Well. We can remedy that,” Amy said, “Samantha, would you mind?”

“Not at all,” she answered, and then looked in Corey’s direction, “I told you it was a stupid idea,” she said and went to her bedroom.

“Thanks,” I said, “But I think I wrecked everyone else’s fun.” I then shot a look at Corey that would have made Mark Messier proud.

“No you didn’t,” Lina said and gave me a hug, “We’ll have no more surprises tonight.” She then gave me a quick tickle on my left side. I gasped.

“Please Lina,” I said softly, but sternly, “Don’t do that.”

That familiar prickly feeling that warns me of danger was coming on now. But I ignored it. That proved to be a serious error on my part for what was to come.

Chapter 4
Having a “Few Laughs”

The party wasn’t in full swing until six more people showed up. All of them were either girlfriends of Lina’s friends or Amy’s. I found out later Amy moved in to Lina’s room when Lina moved out to live with me. I chatted with some of the other girls, but they were not in the talkative mood. Some of them didn’t speak to me. Instead, they would turn away and talk to one of their friends. After checking my watch, I downed my glass of scotch and went outside for a cigarette. Several minutes later, Amy stepped out, with drink and cigarette in hand.

“Brand? What’s wrong?” Amy asked.

“I think you know the answer to that Amy,” I replied.

“Hmmm. Is it perhaps you’re being a little too up tight?”

“No. That’s not it. It’s like I got the Plague or something.”

I yawned and Amy told me to go to her room and lie down for a while. After putting out my cigarette, I went to Amy’s room and crashed. When I woke up, I found myself pinned on Amy’s bed by all the girls. I was pinned in an “X” fashion and like in my dream; I was barefoot and with no shirt on. Amy was standing at the foot of the bed with a little grin on her face.

“Awake again I see,” she said.

“What the hell is going on? Where’s Lina?” I asked.

“We sent Lina on an errand. Corey’s with her to keep her busy.”

“Why?”

“You piqued their curiosity Brand. After that first date with Lina, Mica couldn’t keep her mouth shut. It whetted all the girls’ appetites and they want to know more.”

I struggled like a madman to break free, but couldn’t get far. They all had me pinned well and some of them gave me a slight tickle to distract me. It worked. Amy left the room and came back five minutes later with some old nylons. Some of the girls took the nylons and quickly tied me up. When they finished, Amy stood beside me.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she said, “I’ve a special surprise for you,” Amy turned towards Regina, “Keep him entertained ‘till I get back.”

“Don’t worry,” Regina said, “We’ll keep him ‘amused’.”

As Amy left the room, Regina went to my left side with Ann, her petite roommate. Samantha, now with her hair down, went to my right with one the other girls from the party. Mica and another were by my feet. The rest were standing back intent on watching the show.

Regina looked at me with a fixed stare and an evil smile, “Now let’s see what you have that has Lina so interested.”

At that note, they all started with Ann and Samantha tickling my sides. Mica and the other girl began scrambling their dexterous digits all over my feet, occasionally hitting a “real hot spot” that caused a guffaw out of me or force me to buck like a bronco. Regina and another girl kept themselves occupied by gently squeezing my knees or any other place on my legs, to keep me distracted if nothing else. Some moments later, Amy returned with a small brown paper bag. She smiled when seeing me lying there helpless and laughing like crazy. I was already red in the face and tears were welling in my eyes. Amy walked over to the head of the bed.

“You must have found something funny,” Amy said, “Care to share the mirth?”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS! HAHAHAHAHA!” I was saying while trying to remain coherent, “I’LL GET EVEN WITH YOU-HOO-HOO-HOO IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Not possible,” Amy replied smoothly, “Now for your surprise.” She opened the bag and pulled out a pair of Sonicare toothbrushes. When I saw them, I struggled harder, but I was already drained from the girls’ maddening tickling. Amy handed one each to Mica and the other girl.

“Mica. Danni. Use these,” Amy said as she handed them.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO! NOT THAT! HAHAHAHAHAPLEEHEEHEEZE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!”

Mica and Danni turned on their little devilish devices and began their devious work. Slowly maneuvering them all over my soles. They remembered the hot spots and they would keep them there for about a minute before moving on. I began laughing an octave higher and I didn’t think my voice could stand the strain much longer.

Amy and Regina were now ready for the finale. At my middle, they held up their hands and slowly lowered them to their destination. I hoped and prayed that I would pass out before they made contact.

No such luck.

Chapter 5
To Sleep… Perchance to Dream

I find myself walking down a long, dark tunnel. The walls of the tunnel swirled around with mists of black, and several shades of gray. The whole thing reminded me of the Ice Mountain attraction I saw once at Universal Studios. As I’m walking down the corridor, I notice that I’m not falling and I feel something solid under my feet, but I see nothing except for the swirls. No end or exit was in sight, so I continue walking.

I continue down the corridor for a good while when I notice some of the swirls formed a door on my right. Being a curious sort, I went to the door and opened it. Peeking through the opening, I saw a huge room with stone walls all around. There were some instruments hanging on three of the walls while the fourth one was occupied by a wooden structure. It was approximately 10 feet long, slightly inclined, had four chains attached to each corner. At the high end, there was a large wheel that connected the two chains there. On it, a large man was lying on top with the chains holding him down. Straddling on top of him was a beautiful blonde woman in black. The man appeared to be in agony.

But as I listened, the man sounded like he was in pain, but there was something odd about it. When I looked at the man’s’ face, I noticed the oddity.

He was smiling! The odd sound mixed in was that he was laughing!

“So that’s how it started,” I thought. I looked at the woman for a moment and I saw that her hands were indeed moving around and tickling his well-defined belly, finding all the weak spots. Occasionally, she would place the index finger of her right hand into his navel and wiggle her finger. This sent him into hysterics.

After awhile, the woman got off him and checked him over when the man stopped struggling. After checking, she left the room.

“Rest in peace my friend,” I said silently to him. I turned and went back through the door and into the tunnel.

I continued down the tunnel and found another door just like the first one only it was now on the left.

I opened the door and peered through like I did before. The scene beyond this door was when I first met Lina. It was the night when I was tied and tickled before “he” made his first appearance.

I closed the door when Lina and “I” were intertwined, and continued forward.

After yet another long walk, I found a third door. Opening this one revealed the scene of me being tickled by all the girls at the party. I huffed and closed the door, not wanting to see anymore.

I continued onward. It felt like I had been walking for hours. After some time, I found another door just like the other three. I tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t open. “Locked?” I thought, “Or maybe it’s something I’m not supposed to see yet.” In response, swirls began forming near my feet and when they parted, in their place was a key. I placed it in the keyhole and turned. I heard a click and the door opened.

I looked inside and this scene was like the second, Jim and Laura’s bedroom, but it was different, for it was Lina now tied down to the bed with me tickling her feet. She was laughing so hard that tears were forming and running down her face. Her hair was an absolute mess.

I always had the feeling that Lina was ticklish, but I didn’t think she was THAT ticklish.

In the scene, I eventually stopped and massaged her feet while she gasped for breath.

“That was wild,” I heard myself say, “Who would’ve thought that being a tickler could be this much fun.”

Lina mouthed a retort at me in the scene that I myself couldn’t make out. However, the look on my face in the scene changed, so I deduced that her wisecrack was not flattering. My face then changed to an evil smile and I then mounted her. “Really. Such foul language Lina,” I heard myself reply. I held my hands in front of her and wiggled my fingers; Lina’s tough expression changed, and now showed fear.

“Good,” I thought, “Sock it to her.”

The scene showed me lowering my hands down and began tickling Lina on her tummy, ribs, and under her arms, occasionally placing my index finger in her navel and teasing it. That sent her into uncontrolled hysteria.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BRAHAHAHAND! PLEHEEHEEHEEZE STOHAHAHAHAHAP! I CAHAHAHAN’T TAHAHAKE HIHIHIT ANYMOHOHORE!”

I said teasingly, “Your voice may be saying ‘no’, but your body is saying ‘yes’.”

I lowered my face to hers and gave her a big kiss while I continued to tickle her. I closed the door and moved on.

I came to what appeared to be the final door. This door was different only that it stood directly in my path, complete with lock. I couldn’t open it and the key I had with me didn’t work. The key turned all right, but instead of the door opening, the “floor” opened up and I fell…

…and then woke up.

My eyes were as big as saucers as I shot upright from the bed. The clock on the dresser read 7:30 a.m. After I calmed myself down, I turned and found Lina lying to my left, sound asleep and fully clothed. I also found I had my clothes back on, except for my shoes. I got them on quickly and went outside for a cigarette. I sat down on one of the chairs outside and rested my forehead on my hand, my own version of ‘The Thinker’.

I stayed there for a little longer before I went back into the condo. When I came back inside, I saw all the girls standing in the kitchen, motioning for me to join them. One of the girls, Danni, pulled out a chair for me and I sat down. Mica then placed a plate of eggs and sausage in front of me.

“Here,” Mica said, “It’s the least we could do.”

“Why are you guys doing this?” I asked.

“Like Mica said, ‘It’s the least we could do.’” Regina replied and kissed me on the cheek.

I ate my meal and washed it down with a big glass of orange juice. After I finished, they made breakfast for themselves while I sat on the couch and assumed my ‘thinker’ position once more. Ann went to the bedroom to wake up Lina and tell her that breakfast was ready. When Lina came out and saw me sitting on the couch, she instantly knew something was wrong.

“Brand?” she asked as she sat down next to me, “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t answer. Samantha handed a plate over. Lina took her plate, but ate very little of her breakfast.

We left around 9:30 and the ride back was very quiet.

Chapter 6
Findin’ that Lovin’ Feelin’

Two months passed without event. Lina and I didn’t go out at all and never went out with Corey and Mica, despite their offers. Most of the time we went to work and came home. I moped around mostly. When she asked what was wrong, I tried to shrug it off, saying it’s nothing. But Lina was smarter than that, and continued to pursue.

Then it just happened one night. Lina just came back late from work Friday night and saw me playing on my keyboard, as I sometimes do whenever I feel a little low. She stood behind me, as I was playing nothing but the black keys; this gave the music a nice Scottish flavor.

“Brand?” Lina asked, “What’s the matter? You’ve been in a shell for two months now.”

I turned off my keyboard and sat on the side of the bed, slightly slumped over. Lina sat next to me and I embraced her tightly. My eyes were beginning to burn. A few minutes later, the telephone in the main room began to ring.

I went over and answered it, “Hello?” My voice was a little shaky.

“Brand? It’s Jim. Listen; just hear me for a minute. Why don’t you and Lina come on down for the weekend? Corey and Mica are coming too, and we got a lot planned. How ‘bout it?”

“Alright. We’ll be there,” I replied.

“Great. Come anytime tomorrow. Whenever it’s good for you.”

“Sure. We’ll be there when we can. G’bye,” I said and hung up.

Lina came out of the bedroom and stood by the doorway. “Who was it?” she asked.

“It was Jim,” I replied, “He wants us to come down this weekend.”

I turned and went to the kitchen to fix myself a drink, a real hard drink. As I was doing this, I began hearing music coming from the bedroom. I recognized the music as it began filling the main room. It was “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling”. “Lina always knew which buttons to push,” I thought. Lina came out and wrapped her arms around me. I began to kiss her tenderly and a single tear went down my cheek before landing on her neck.

All this time new emotions began to surface. I didn’t know if it was love or not. But I knew I wanted to spend every moment of my life with her, and I wanted this moment to prove that to her once and for all.

At the start of the third verse, I picked up Lina and carried her into the bedroom, closed the door, and turned out the lights.

My Coke and Jack Daniels remained on the kitchen table, completely forgotten.

To be concluded …

Coming Soon: The Bride of Pimpenstein