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Andie's Final tryout (M/F)

tummyfan2003

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As the 7th period bell rang,Andie was all pumped for the final day of tryouts for her highschool vollyball team. As she entered the gym,there was a huge lineup of girls that Andie knew were trying to make the final cut for a spot on the team. Coach Ross walked in,holding his clipboard & pen in his shirt pocket. Ok ladies this is it the final cut! where all your hardwork and skills payoff. When i call your name please come down and grab your *New* jerseys Shannon barns.. cassie smith.. tracy pickens,after coach Ross called numberous girls to come down. Andie was getting alittle nervous because after all she was a sure bet at being head captain this yr. But after 1 mintue of waiting Andie's palm sweating & biting her nails,Coach Ross finally checked his clipboard once again and called out her name and finally the last spot was filled. After the tryouts were over & almost all the other girls hit the showers. Coach Ross came up to Andie & said ''Good job Andie we'll do good things this yr''thanks coach said Andie happily. But theres just one thing Andie coach Ross said in a mytserious voice. OH whats that Andie said while thinking to herself sliently what it could be that coach Ross was talking about. Well Andie as you know this is your 4yr with our team but this is your 1st yr as being captain. Thats right said Andie what does that have to do with anything? Asked Andie! Well every captain must go through a test to see if thier capable of handling the pressure. Oh well what kind of test is it asked Andie? why dont i show you said coach Ross,uh ok Andie said. After seounds later coach Ross closed the door behind him. Now Andie will you please lay down on that baseball screen,so we can began the test! now at this point Andie was thinking this was very weird. Once Andie was compeletly flat on the baseball screen Coach Ross then lighlty tied Andies arms & ankles in place. Hey what the..yelled Andie? This part of our test for our head captains said coach Ross...suddenly coach Ross rolled up Andies tight t-shirt reveling her flat pierced tummie. Coach Ross began suddenly tickling lightly up & down her bare midriff hehe ehh no DONT screamed Andie! you dont wanna fail the test Said coach. while coach Ross still tickling her exposed rib-cage he pulled out a Art paintbrush stroking the brush along Andie's deep yet ticklish innie. HEHEHEHEHE AHHH NO NO TEEHEHE OH GOD PLEASE stop Coach Ross stop!! Andie relax said coach Ross sternly. Well congrats Andie you passed the test with a flying A+ good said Andie while still trying to catch her breath but while(smiling) still. The end:D

ps.sorry this story was so long but please give me some feedback on it plus on weather or not i should write partII
 
tummyfan2003 said:
sorry this story was so long but please give me some feedback on it plus on weather or not i should write partII

I think it was good for your first time at writing a story. It's not long at all; in fact, if you look at the other stories on the TMF, it's rather short. I think you need to put in more detail and fix the punctuation, but other than that, it's a nice beginning. Try to write a longer sequel. Thanks, tummyfan2003! Sorry to be so picky. ;)
 
Not long but still good.

It is great first try.

If you are interested in a long story read <A HREF="http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=16917">this</A>. It is my first story and it is quite long.
 
Great start! Could have a little more detail but the sequal should be awesome. Maybe the next part should be a test where all the other captians tickle her;)
 
You guys are too kind...

That story lacked content, substance, and prolonged tummy tickling! Sowwy! :=)
 
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