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A Birthday Surprise

tickle gamer

3rd Level Red Feather
Joined
Sep 13, 2011
Messages
1,528
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Fisrt off...be nice...This is the first story I've worte in a long time.

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A Birthday Surprise

The date was April 20th, Brook's birthday. The lovely brunet's head raced as she drove across town to her friend Britney's house.

Brooke and Britney had been best friends since they met in high school and Britney had always came up with the best ideas for Brook’s birthday, but she always told her about it a few days before hand, but this year she had been all secretive about it, only say “Don't worry, you going to love it”

Brook or Britney were not lesbians, not even bi, but they had always been super playful with each other, sure there had been some awkward moments but in the end that just made them closer.

Brook's legs were shaking a little in anticipation as she walked up the path to Britney’s house. Britney lived in a beautiful two story house with rock siding, it also had a pool in back.

Brook loved going over to Britney's house because of how secluded it was, her closest neighbor lived a whole five blocks away and due to Britney's house being the last on a dead end road Britney and brook usually just walk around wearing just thongs.

Brook's hand was twitching as she reached to ring the door bell. A few short moments later Britney answered the door, Brook wasn't shocked at what she saw.

The 5'6 blond stood there wearing just her leopard print thong and a smile, which was not unusual for Britney.

“Come on in” Britney said gleefully. Brook did as she was told, and then almost immediately went to the bathroom to “Nude up” as her and Britney called it.

Before exiting the bathroom, Brook took a few seconds to look at her self in the mirror, She was the same height as Britney and their bodies were almost similar, Britney's breasts were a a half cup size bigger than Brook's.

When Brook opened the door she was greeted by a little wrapped box being shoved in in her face.

The box was wrapped in light blue paper and it was about the size of a shoe box, Brook walked over to the couch and opened it, being careful not to ripe the paper.

“A blindfold?” Brook asked, pulling it out of the box.

The blindfold was pink and blue with black lace trim, the band was blue and also had lace on it.

“Try it on” Britney urged.

It fit like it was made for Brook's head, she could not see a thing.

Brooke started to remove the blindfold, but Britney grabbed her hands “Not yet” she said.

Brook felt Britney motioning her to get up with her hands “Follow me” she said, taking brook by her hand.

Britney slowly led Brook up the stairs and to her bedroom.

Britney's room had wall to wall red carpet that slightly tickled Brook's feet as she was led across it, Britney grinned as every step would make Brook giggle a little.

Britney gently pushed Brook down on the bed “Give me your hands” Britney said with a loving yet forceful tone.

Brooke did as she was told, she felt Britney guide her hands over her head and felt them being tied at the wrists with what felt like satin, then she felt Britney at her feet tying her legs at the ankles in the same fashion.

“What are...” Brook was interrupted be the fill of Britney's fingers gliding around on her sensitive soles.

“No...Not tickling” Brook said through her giggles.

Brook’s plea was for not, as the tickling got harder and faster.

Brook was in full laughter now as Britney moved slowly up her legs to her thighs.

By this point, Brook was squirming and trying every thing she could to escape from Britney's tickling attacks, but the more she fought the harder the tickling got.

By the time Britney had made it up to Brooks armpits, Brook's ribs and lungs felt like they were on fire and her laughter had died back down to an occasional fit of giggling.

After Britney finally let Brook up, Brook looked Britney in the eye's and said “Oh your in of it now”

The End
 
After looking at my story again, I reallize I miss Spelled a few words.

other than that I would luv to hear some feedback.
 
Nice. Very nice actually. I enjoyed it a lot - short, simple and somewhat still very intimate and playful.

My feedback is there's quite a lot here you can expand on, a lot more detail in between what you already have that you could add without it being too packed, boring or complicated. Just minor things. And IMO you could also do away with cliche details like cup size or describe their similarities in a different way. It somehow cheapened the visuals for me.

Other than that, excellent. Hope you write more.

:)
 
Yeah, I am planning on writing a sorta "Brook's Revenge" type story and maybe Introducing a new Character, that's why I have a lot of extra detail like the secluded house, the pool and even the cup size was put there for a reason.

I'm not saying I'm going to use them all, but it's gives a lot of Possibilities.
 
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