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First story by a new person

jewell

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Jun 22, 2012
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Ok so this is a joint effert between myself and a friend. It was pretty fun to write actually. As youll quickly tell it was a back and forth sort of thing. Its gonna start out kinda slow but there will be more parts to it. Constructive feed back is always welcome but dont be a scum bag about it. Oh yea its only chicks in this so far and its not sexual.

April 1190 AD

The day was hot in the small village and her Highness Natalie D'Lune was eager to get into the shade. She rarely liked leaving the castle in the first place, but today was special. On the day of her birth, she would venture into the village and pick one of the ladies who lived there. There had always been rumors about what became of them once they were chosen by her. Some believed she put them to work in the the Royal Court and kept them if they performed well. Others whispered that she practiced very odd things. Whichever was the case, today felt different. She couldn't put her finger on it.
“Come on Jewell it’s time for the birthday choosing!" One nearby girl shouted to a slim dark hared girl cutting wood. Jewell hated this silly birthday tribute, as she called it. Having lost her father the year before, her mother having died many years ago and all her brothers gone off to war in the Holy Land, Jewell was left to keep the small family house hold in good repair. Fending off the occasional highway bandit was also a pretty normal task. Jewells father had tought her to use a bow to hunt, a staff for the dog and a sword for herself. She had practiced daily with her brothers and was as good as or better than any of them. Alas though she could not fight in the Holy Land as she was a "lady". "HA!” Jewell laughed at that. The Princess she was going to line up for was supposed to be a lady. If being a lady meant not being able to do anything for yourself and relying on others to protect you, than Jewell wanted no part of it. Dressed in Lincoln green pants doe skin boots and soft furs, Jewell looked more like a bandit herself then the only Daughter of a respectable family. She sighed as she jammed the axe into the stump and walked to the growing throng of girls lining the path to the castle. She tried to stay toward the back but be noticeable enough that no one could accuse her of not going.
The princess made her way up, delicately, to the wooden stage that had been constructed for these very event years ago. Natalie stared out at the sea of girls before her. There were ladies of all types and figures, some standing close to the stage in the assumption that they'd be chosen and swept off to some grand life away from the village. She couldn't help but smile at the notion. No, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction. Besides, she had been in a particularly mean-spirited mood after a spat with her father that morning. She didn't want a lady who looked soft. Natalie’s smile grew larger as she looked past all the eager and excited girls to the back where she spied one very grumpy looking girl dressed in furs. A little part of her became giddy. Surely this one would be good to take her frustrations out on. The princess’s elegant sleeved arm raised to a point, it could have been an arrow shot directly at the sour faced girl.
“That one. You there. Come forward.”
Jewell was looking at the ground and rubbing her head when she heard gasps. Looking up hoping to see some smiling girl running off up to the stage she was surprised to see all eyes on her. She looked to her acquaintances and the look of shock on their faces must have mirrored her own. Her mouth opened for a moment, then she looked up at the haughty princess, her outstretched arm pointing right at her. Jewell sighed slowly and started to make the trudge toward the stage. Being sure to look around, hoping it was truly someone else, maybe behind her that had been chosen. No it was not to be. She made her way to the platform wondering how long this would take and how fast she could get out of this so that she could get back to her work. She had a house too look after. She knew though that one did not reject the summons of the princess. To do so would bring shame and destruction to all that her father had built and her brothers would have no home to return to....if they returned at all. She walked slowly up the platform steps like a condemned woman and knelt instead of curtsied. Hoping the show of masculine courtesy and not lady like comportment would shock the princess.
The Princess blinked at the girl as she knelt, clearly confused by her. The whole crowd grew silent as no one had ever dared act in this manner in front of the Royal Person before. Her face burned red but she managed to keep her composure. After all, she was still a princess and it WAS her birthday. Surely she could let this slide. After a moment she cleared her throat. "This girl before you is my chosen. As you can plainly see, she is unlike any other I have chosen in the years before. You all remember the first year this began. Each yea this has been little difference in the girl chosen to be honored by myself and my father, His Royal Highness. But on this year it pleases me to choose a girl of such unladylike demeanor, as to border on the absurd, for a very special purpose.” Natalie grinned as the crowd began hurriedly talking amongst themselves. Lowering her palms the crowd quieted. "None but those who have been chosen have known what I ask of my girls. It is a secret worthy of those chosen alone! But this year, I chose to reveal the stakes of my selection before the village! Should this girl pass my test within the castle, I will allow her and any other woman the right to fight in the crusades! My father, in his divine wisdom, has spoken on this. But only if the challenge is passed to my satisfaction" The crowd gasped. This was unheard of! Such a chance had never arisen before in any Land. Natalie smiled down at the girl. "What is your name, girl? And what do you think?"
Jewell looked up at the princess her expression hard. Never before had anyone spoken of her in such demeaning word and tone. Everything in her screamed to show this pampered Royal Whelp some lady like demeanor. But Jewell resisted. Now was her chance to leave this place and win glory for herself. Surly the neighbors would look after the household. She looked up at the princess and almost sneered. "My name is Jewell, Daughter of Jonathan and I can pass any challenge, anytime, anywhere" She said confidently adding, "your Highness" almost as an afterthought. Waiting to be told she could rise she looked to the eyes of the assembled masses. She knew very few would desire to go and fight. Fewer still would believe they could pass the challenge. Jewell had no idea what the challenge was but she was positive she could handle it. Maybe this wouldn’t be the awful ordeal she had thought it would be. Anxiousness now nagged at her stomach. She wanted to get started and over with. She wondered what the challenge could possibly be. It had to have been going on for several years now and had to last several days. Jewell knew some girls were never seen again and those that were, on pain of death, had never revealed what the ordeal was. She waited to be told to rise, ready to start she looked at the princess" I am prepared now. I accept the challenge. Let us get started. My destiny is not here but in the Holy Land." She said politely but firmly.

"Rise girl, and come with me. Your confidence is amusing but may be misplaced. The challenge will be fraught with more difficulty than you think." The princess threw her head back and laughed as the two made their way back into the Castle grounds. The courtyard had always been beautiful for those who were lucky enough to see it. It seemed in stark contrast to the mood that the choosing had made prevalent. Natalie seemed to almost skip with each step, bubbly as one might think a princess would be on her birthday. She eagerly led Jewell through the castle speaking at length about the decorations but never really getting a response from the rather anxious girl following her. She led her at last to a room far away from the most populated areas of the castle. If it weren't for the odd set of things inside the room, it could have easily been mistaken for a storage room and yet many pieces of odd looking furniture adorned the room. One of the pieces in the middle looked like a torture rack, but was fashioned much more elegantly. It was padded upon the back and cuffs, even a head rest. It seemed like a rather strange thing for a device of torture. Natalie grinned from ear to ear and clapped her hands. "The chamber maids will be in momentarily to prepare you. Please do as they say, remember what's at stake."
Jewell looked around the room then turned back to the princess but she was already gone, Her retinue of guards and ladies in waiting following her. Jewell turned back and saw aside from the rack, what looked like a bathing stall with a pillory hanging from the ceiling by iron bars, clearly there to trap the head and arms and keep a person in place during a serious cleaning. Left of that was a comfortable looking chair. Comfortable except for thick leather belts at the wrists neck waist and chest and the foot rest had belts at thigh and knee level topped off by a set of well used stocks. They were odd looking though to Jewell. The top housing had small iron hooks, 10 in all. Jewell wondered what all of this was for. What in god’s name was she in for? The room was littered with buckets, stiff horse hair brushes, and small stones that looked like Swiss cheese. In the corner was a fire place that had a small fire in it. Fixed above it was an iron caldron with a small pipe leading into the brick. On the other side was a faucet. "Hot water…. Amazing ",Jewell thought about the novelty and decadence of such a thing. In the summer she had bathed in a small stream near her home. In the winter she and her brothers had had to break the ice before jumping in to see who could stand it the longest. Jewell may never have won but she was never the first to get out either. But hot water was something altogether different. The size of the cauldron could house more water then she could put in with 100 trips to the stream. Just then then door swung open and several attendants entered the room. Five in all, they were clothed neatly in dresses and aprons. In their hands they carried baskets which held many sweet smelling lotions as well as a myriad of tools Jewell didn’t even recognize.
The last one closed the door behind her and the ladies began attending to the various instruments in the room. One headed straight to Jewell and looked her up and down. "Oh yes, a fine choice by her Highness indeed. You don’t seem like the others at all. Maybe you'll be different?" Jewell clearly had no idea what she meant but studied the maidens and tried to glean any intention whatsoever. "You see, m'lady," the maiden continued, watching Jewell's face twitch in anger at the honorific, "all of the chosen must be ritualistically clean for her highness. If you would be so kind as to get into your undergarments so we can begin?" she motioned at the tub and pillory.
Jewell looked at the attendant then the pillory then the attendant again. Anger built up in her throat and an smart retort almost left her lips but she remembered why she was here. It wouldn’t due at all to anger the Princess. " I seee." Jewell said slowly as she started to toe her boots off revealing pale feet and calves in stark contrast to her tan face and arms. Un binding the ties at the front of her furs she easily pulled that off next. "What’s wrong? Is her Highness's nose to sensitive to handle the odor of the common folk?" she asked as she piled the furs up on her boots before pulling her belt and breeches off in a quick fluid motion. Finally standing in her canvas shorts and thin under shirt she looked at the attendants. "If you want the rest take it off yourself" She said with a laugh as she took a step into the tub. Standing on her tip toes in the warm water almost past her knees, she was able to place her wrists and neck into the pillory and waited defiantly for her cleaning to start.
"Oh we would never do anything to the chosen without her highness's permission. And she has no qualms with the smell of those from the village, at least none that we've seen, though it's not proper to speak of her without her present." The maiden clicked the pillory closed and placed a small rod in th locking has, effectively trapping Jewell for whatever may come. She then surveyed it to see if Jewell could at all wriggle free. When she was satisfied she motioned the other girls to come forward with their various cleaning instruments. Noting the look of confusion in Jewell's eye, the young girl said, "I know, the restraints seem rather much don't they? Well, it is for everyone's safety, I assure you. Try to be still, if you can. It goes quicker that way!" The maidens closed in around her, knowing their parts very well. They practiced all year for this moment; it was quite the hobby amongst them in secret. One deftly picked up one of Jewell’s legs from the water and held it as another adorned a thick horse hair brush with a lovely smelling soap. Much to the brazen girl's surprise, a third maiden took the liberty of lifting the thin shirt so that a fourth could anoint her bare middle with sweet scented lotion from an exquisite bottle. The maiden with the brush braced herself and began gliding the bristles over Jewell's left foot in earnest, her trained hands ready for the girl's reaction.
Jewell's eyes widened and she shook in the pillory as she tried to keep balance with her other foot distended on her tip toes. The scrubbed foot wiggled as the toes curled tightly. Jewell balled her fist and took deep quick breaths as the rough brush worked deep into the tough tissue of feet that had never in life been pampered. This turned out to be the only thing keep Jewells tough exterior together. Callouses and toughened skin holding the tickling sensations somewhat at bay. Jewell didn't know this however. All she knew was that it tickled. Badly. No one had ever tried to tickle her in a long time. The only boy that had tried during childhood rough housing had suffered a broken finger. Not even her brothers had tried again. Jewell gritted her teeth as her fists balled white. She felt practiced fingers coating her stomach in something slippery and sweet smelling but she paid it no mind. The scrubbing of her foot made her wiggle all she could. The pillory was strong and kept her immobilized as the attendants did their work skillfully. She had no idea what lay in-store for her tonight at the hands of the uncaring attendants, their only directive to prepare her body for the Princess. This was only the start of her softening both her body but to Jewell it seemed this it was personal. They wanted to break her sprits. She would not give in. Growling she shouted " Ahhh slow grrrr slow down it grrrr ahhh it itches" she blurted out not wanting to share the true nature of what was happening to her.
The maidens couldn't help but giggle at her reactions. They had seen so many girls struggle in the pillory during the cleaning, but never had they seen someone put up such a fight. "There's no shame in admitting it, m'lady. All the girls who come through her are ticklish. The princess really has a way of picking such ladies with precision. All of this hard work and toil on your feet we'll have to scrub away first though! They need to be nice and soft for her highness to lay her fingers upon." The girls acted and spoke in mock sorrow, but it was evident that they were making this as insufferable as possible for Jewell. The maiden with the lotion would purposefully let her fingers slide into Jewell's armpits for a quick tickle then go back to rubbing the sweet smelling stuff into her skin. Worst yet was the maiden with the brush, who artfully made circles up and down Jewell's sole, watching as she bucked and thrashed against it with amusement. When one foot was done, it took only seconds for her to lift the other and apply the sinister thing to her rough soles. "You must relax, m'lady! We haven't even got you in the chair yet!"
“The what aggggg AH!" Jewell shouted as she struggled mightily in the pillory. As she felt her first foot being released the other was quickly snatched up the leg bent back making the sole face upward and the rough brush was quickly applied to it make Jewell grind her teeth her eyes squeezed shut as she danced on her tip toe. " So im too be tickled?” she asked confused at what she was hearing. Surly this couldn’t be true. “The girls are normally gone days……eeeeep WATCH IT!….. and some never return how can that be grrrr possible." Jewell shouted as he felt fingers itching in her arm pit making her squeak but she refused to laugh, The pillory hiding the woman’s menstruations from Jewells. All she could do was strain mightily to hold in the giggles forming in her tight tan stomach.
The rest of the washing was absolutely torturous. It went on much longer than Jewell was certain was needed. It would have been easy for her to stay absolutely in control of her anger at the situation if all girls weren't working together to make her miserable. That damnable brush sliding up and down her right foot was sending bolts of ticklish electricity to her brain. She refused to show it though. She would fight the giggles as long as she could and she would NEVER break of that she was sure. Soon, the girl with the lotion stopped rubbing it on and simply gave Jewell's now silky smooth belly very light continuous tickles. She wanted to get her mind off of the brush but this other girl was making it impossible. The thick hair of the brush punished her rough sole as the maiden arched her toes back to clean under them. "Almost done now, dear. Yes we all know the chosen lady can spend days within the castle but don't forget what's at stake here. If you give up at any point there will be no glory for you and all of this you’re enduring will be for naught.”
Jewell’s eyes widened at the realization of the ordeal to come. Never in her life had she been handled as merely a play thing. Every fiber of her being screamed for her to make her escape as soon as possible, yet the chance to be sent to fight alongside her brothers was too great a reward. She would endure whatever she must and hold on to whatever dignity she could in the process. She would not break or beg and she would never call for quarter…….

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Excellent start! Its hard to believe this is your first :) The balance of dialogue and description is great. I can't wait to read more, its a great fantasy scenario!

I relate to this jewell character all too well :p
 
Excellent start! Its hard to believe this is your first :) The balance of dialogue and description is great. I can't wait to read more, its a great fantasy scenario!

I relate to this jewell character all too well :p
Who is the one drinking Corona on your signature?
 
Wonderful begining. Love historical stories. The time of the Crusades is a particularity interesting age. BRAVO. I forsee many interesting
chapters ahead for TMF readers.
 
OK, so the person helping me write this dropped off the face of the earth. No big surprise in this world. Here's my problem thoug, I suck at writing the tickling parts. I know how Id react getting tickled but I don't tickle others. Since I don't like leaving a work unfinished if there are any female writers out there who could help me finish this that would be awesome! Thanks.
 
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