One of the inescapable realities of living on the Chesapeake Bay is that you occasionally wake up on the wrong side of it. Now, my personal favorite way to solve this problem involved my sailboat, but this was not always practical. That's why we had this thing called the Bay Bridge Tunnel.
You drive most of the twenty-some miles on a bridge, but at some point you have to go under. The "Channel." Big ships are passing overhead. I was always nervous about being in a giant steel-and-concrete tube, 100 feet underwater,.. with the fucking Nimitz coasting along above me.
On this particular day, Susan and I were racing over to the Eastern Shore where I had a house under construction. And I am always impatient. But something went wrong in the tunnel and traffic was stopped. Some poor bastard up ahead had overheated or something,.... doesn't really matter. I went from zero-to-anxiety-attack in about five minutes.
Susan tried to cheer me up,.... calm me down,.... but the deck was stacked against her in the two miles of stopped vehicles ahead of us. I just slumped against the wheel of the Nissan pickup,..... I may have contemplated self-flagellation.
But ever the trooper I had married, Susan took decisive action. She slipped off her shoes and threw her legs across my lap. "Wanna tickle my feet?" she teased.
Well this was an interesting approach. I dragged one finger up her nylon sole and she giggled adorably. So I did the other foot, and I could tell that Susan was not trying in any way to restrain her laughter,.. she leaned into it as hard as she could go. Okay,... this was fun. Let the tickling proceed,......... and so we did.
But leaning back slightly against the driver side door,.... and with my window down a couple of inches, I became aware that I could hear a woman laughing hysterically somewhere out there in this 40-foot wide underwater tunnel. The potential for reverb was amazing.
I held my ear to the window,...... who was this laughing woman? And then it hit me,.... it was Susan. Her window was also down a couple of inches,.... her ticklish laughter was cascading out the window and echoing everywhere in the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel. Every other asshole sitting in that pipe was being treated to the sound of my loving wife's laughing,........ and I was instantly horrified.
I checked the rear-view mirror to see if the people behind us were paying attention. They were. I wanted to crawl under something,.......
I stopped tickling Susan's feet,...... "Can't you hear that?" I asked her. She looked solemn for a moment.
"What do you suppose people will think?" I pondered this. And for once, something went right,..... traffic started moving. I began picturing my first glass of wine at Chincoteague.
"You can leave your feet in my lap, sweetie."
You drive most of the twenty-some miles on a bridge, but at some point you have to go under. The "Channel." Big ships are passing overhead. I was always nervous about being in a giant steel-and-concrete tube, 100 feet underwater,.. with the fucking Nimitz coasting along above me.
On this particular day, Susan and I were racing over to the Eastern Shore where I had a house under construction. And I am always impatient. But something went wrong in the tunnel and traffic was stopped. Some poor bastard up ahead had overheated or something,.... doesn't really matter. I went from zero-to-anxiety-attack in about five minutes.
Susan tried to cheer me up,.... calm me down,.... but the deck was stacked against her in the two miles of stopped vehicles ahead of us. I just slumped against the wheel of the Nissan pickup,..... I may have contemplated self-flagellation.
But ever the trooper I had married, Susan took decisive action. She slipped off her shoes and threw her legs across my lap. "Wanna tickle my feet?" she teased.
Well this was an interesting approach. I dragged one finger up her nylon sole and she giggled adorably. So I did the other foot, and I could tell that Susan was not trying in any way to restrain her laughter,.. she leaned into it as hard as she could go. Okay,... this was fun. Let the tickling proceed,......... and so we did.
But leaning back slightly against the driver side door,.... and with my window down a couple of inches, I became aware that I could hear a woman laughing hysterically somewhere out there in this 40-foot wide underwater tunnel. The potential for reverb was amazing.
I held my ear to the window,...... who was this laughing woman? And then it hit me,.... it was Susan. Her window was also down a couple of inches,.... her ticklish laughter was cascading out the window and echoing everywhere in the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel. Every other asshole sitting in that pipe was being treated to the sound of my loving wife's laughing,........ and I was instantly horrified.
I checked the rear-view mirror to see if the people behind us were paying attention. They were. I wanted to crawl under something,.......
I stopped tickling Susan's feet,...... "Can't you hear that?" I asked her. She looked solemn for a moment.
"What do you suppose people will think?" I pondered this. And for once, something went right,..... traffic started moving. I began picturing my first glass of wine at Chincoteague.
"You can leave your feet in my lap, sweetie."
