TicklingDuo
3rd Level Yellow Feather
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2001
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WTKL: TICKLE RADIO
by Ann
(This is the script to an imaginary radio show I did for a good friend. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!)
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to WTKL, Tickle Radio, where tickling is a way of life. And now, for your morning show host and hostess, Bob Velicator and Ann Teasor, this is Jay Lafsalot.
ANN: Thank-you, Jay.
Well, Bob won't be with us this morning. I really worked him over well last night and... Well...He's up spending some time in the Tickle Crisis Unit of the local mental institution. You know, they have a wonderful program up there. They bring you down from nasty tickling sessions kind of like bringing you out of hypothermia. They have to do it slowly. So, they'll just tickle away 'til he either dies laughing...or...he recovers. Now, which do you think he'll do?!
Okay. This morning's news and commentary theme "I Want To Save Your Soles", is dedicated to Bob. We all know how much he loves those feet! Nibble, nibble!
Moving along with this morning's show. We have several news points for you.
A study has just been released stating that it is impossible to tickle yourself. The reason for this revelation by experts...? The element of surprise is missing.
Hmmm! I wonder what Bob would say about that one! Now certainly, when I first attacked him, there was a definite element of surprise and the reaction was simply glorious! However, if the element of surprise is the only aspect to take into consideration, why would he be in a mental institution?...unless, of course, the surprise came from the fact that I was still going at him after three hours!
Hmmm. Something to ponder this morning, listeners!
*****
And another bit of news for you this morning...
It has been revealed that former president Jimmy Carter is a tickle maniac. Now, you may have wondered why he was always grinning like that. Well, a story in this week's National Tickle Enquirer has it on good authority that he was always daydreaming about tickle people. Well, that would put a smile on MY face!
Sources also stated that Mr Carter has quite a deadly touch...this believed to be the result of the dexterity gleaned from years of picking peanuts. When we attempted to contact the Carters for comment, the only response we got was laughter. The source of that laughter is unknown at this time.
*****
Did you ever wonder about Jesus' ability to walk on water? That often crossed my mind as a child. Why was He able to stay on top of the water without sinking?...and...Why did Peter, once out on that same water suddenly sink?
Well, we asked our local psychic to make a cosmic connection with the good Lord and this is what we learned.
It seems that Jesus, because He was God, had the ability to withstand the terrible tickling onslaughts of the waves against the soles of his feet. But, poor Peter! He got out there on the water, realized how much it tickled, and sank like a rock in a ball of laughter!
*****
There's a new motion before Congress this morning. A resolution to adopt the ancient methods of the Spanish Inquisition has been proposed as a means of discouraging violent crime. Their method...? TICKLE TORTURE!
Supporters of this resolution state that replacing gas chambers and electric chairs with stocks would be very cost effective...not to mention fun! They state that the thought of hours of ceaseless and intense tickle torture is enough to dissuade any evil intentions a person may have.
The ACLU has been very vocal in its opposition to the legislation, stating that it constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. What do the motions opponents in Congress have to say about this? Well...Surprisingly enough...This is one case where Congress is united. There ARE no opponents!
*****
And an update for you on a recent news story about a man who got sick of his wife's nagging and decided to take matters...along with her feet...into his own hands.
The disgruntled hubby and his hysterical wife could be heard from blocks away. When police arrived to investigate, they found the woman bound and laughing uncontrollably as her husband attacked her soles with electric toothbrushes.
Well...Apparently, this idea did not go unnoticed. Local retailers report runs on rope, duct tape and...you guessed it...electric toothbrushes.
Women's groups have complained bitterly that this is unfair and violates equal rights. In an effort to even the odds, our sources state that women plan to organize and fight back...going so far as to purchase the company Braun, known for its variety of the now highly controversial product.
*****
It seems there's another new craze on Wall Street these days. Reports suggest that an increasing number of investors are trading in their stock for stocks.
When we asked people about this unusual turn of events, the responses were pretty much unanimous. Investors are sick of sluggish markets and plummeting stock figures. Sources state that many have chosen to return to the excitement they can no longer find in stocks...opting for the constant jumps in stock figures (or, rather, figures in stocks) and the assurance of always getting a rise out of their investment.
Analysts state that stocks are a sound investment due to their stability and expect the trend to continue.
<laugh> I can see it now! People will trade in their stock for stocks and instead of a bond market, we'll have a bound market. Now, that's my kind of investment!
*****
The SPCA has filed a protest with officials this morning. The group states that making animals lick the feet of bound individuals constitutes cruelty to the animals. Group member, Feather Plume, herself a tickle enthusiast, states that it is not the act of licking in itself that is cruel, but rather the dirtiness of the feet being licked.
In the interest of preserving peace between animal and tickle lovers, Ms. Plume is offering free kits containing small scrub brushes and moisturizing soaps to properly prepare for your tickling adventures.
*****
The International Society of Podiatrists has released the results of an independent study. The study finds that, as a group, foot fetishists and their partners have considerably healthier feet overall than the average person who does not share in their particular interest.
Podiatrists state that those involved in this fetish have significantly lower incidents of common complaints such as athlete's foot, corns and callouses. When asked if there were complaints among this group not commonly present in others, all the could come up with was an occasional bite mark.
*****
It seems that the Star Ship Enterprise has been taken over by tribbles. The furry little creatures managed to slip aboard during a routine mission. To date, they have increased their number a hundred fold and are wreaking havoc on Star Fleet operations.
We asked Enterprise captain, James Kirk, why the creatures aren't just removed. He explained that, whenever someone got an armful of them, the tribbles would all start purring. The tickling sensations caused by this made it impossible for crew members to contain themselves...much less the tribbles.Even Mr Spok, the Vulcan science officer known for his lack of emotions, was unable to contain his laughter long enough to round up the little critters.
Star Fleet representatives here on earth refused to comment on this ticklish situation. A source, who wished to remain anonymous, suggested that the Fleet may be considering bringing in ticklephiles to round them up...more concerned about the disabling of the ship than about the possible security risks.
*****
The local economy of Palermo is expecting a boost in the near future. It seems that a treatment center for those wishing to quit smoking will be opening soon. The center expects a 100% success rate due to its unique treatment plan. The particulars of the centers methods are being a carefully guarded secret. However, our sources state that ticklephiles from around the world are being recruited to work at the center.
This is a story that we definitely plan to follow. Please stay tuned for further developments as they arise.
*****
President Clinton is looking a bit peeked these days. White House insiders state that the president's condition is a result of his wife's revenge for his infidelity. It seems that Hilary has decided to show him that her tongue is just as good as those of his playmates...working him over from head to toe with all-night tickle torture sessions. Sources also state that Hilary's secret service agents are being questioned about their missing handcuffs, but are not likely to reveal any information.
Official White House spokesman refuse to comment.
*****
And finally this morning...a report from the Big Apple...
A Florida man and a New York cabbie are in custody this morning, charged with unlawful imprisonment. This after a mounted cop spotted suspicious activity in a nearby parked cab. When the officer went to investigate, he discovered an upstate woman handcuffed and being tickle tortured in the cabs back seat.
The cabbie, who was the only one willing to speak with us, says that it all began when he picked up the couple at Grand Central Station. As he drove along, he noticed the man struggling to hold the woman still as he tickled her belly. The cabbie, obviously a tickle enthusiast, took pity on the man and tossed back a pair of handcuffs, which the man promptly used to trap the woman's hands behind her back.
As the tickling continued, the cabbie asked to join in the fun. The Florida man stated that it was fine with him as long as they could switch seats. When the officer spotted them nearly an hour later, the woman's feet were trapped in the security window being tickled by the Florida man while the cabbie worked on her belly.
Former school friends and neighbors of the Florida man described him as being very straight-laced. But, they did admit that, when it came to women, he preferred them UNlaced.
Aside from being wide-eyed and breathless with laughter, the woman appeared unharmed. Sources with the police department have serious doubts about the woman's willingness to press charges, though the DA's office suggests that it would be an easy case. It seems that the cabbie had a tape recorder going at the time. This is just a portion of the evidence facing the two men. (laugh track)
Hmmmm! That does sound like an easy case!
*****
Well....That's it for this morning's news. Best wishes to Bob in his recovery. For WTKL Tickle Radio, this is Ann Teasor signing off.
by Ann
(This is the script to an imaginary radio show I did for a good friend. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!)
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to WTKL, Tickle Radio, where tickling is a way of life. And now, for your morning show host and hostess, Bob Velicator and Ann Teasor, this is Jay Lafsalot.
ANN: Thank-you, Jay.
Well, Bob won't be with us this morning. I really worked him over well last night and... Well...He's up spending some time in the Tickle Crisis Unit of the local mental institution. You know, they have a wonderful program up there. They bring you down from nasty tickling sessions kind of like bringing you out of hypothermia. They have to do it slowly. So, they'll just tickle away 'til he either dies laughing...or...he recovers. Now, which do you think he'll do?!
Okay. This morning's news and commentary theme "I Want To Save Your Soles", is dedicated to Bob. We all know how much he loves those feet! Nibble, nibble!
Moving along with this morning's show. We have several news points for you.
A study has just been released stating that it is impossible to tickle yourself. The reason for this revelation by experts...? The element of surprise is missing.
Hmmm! I wonder what Bob would say about that one! Now certainly, when I first attacked him, there was a definite element of surprise and the reaction was simply glorious! However, if the element of surprise is the only aspect to take into consideration, why would he be in a mental institution?...unless, of course, the surprise came from the fact that I was still going at him after three hours!
Hmmm. Something to ponder this morning, listeners!
*****
And another bit of news for you this morning...
It has been revealed that former president Jimmy Carter is a tickle maniac. Now, you may have wondered why he was always grinning like that. Well, a story in this week's National Tickle Enquirer has it on good authority that he was always daydreaming about tickle people. Well, that would put a smile on MY face!
Sources also stated that Mr Carter has quite a deadly touch...this believed to be the result of the dexterity gleaned from years of picking peanuts. When we attempted to contact the Carters for comment, the only response we got was laughter. The source of that laughter is unknown at this time.
*****
Did you ever wonder about Jesus' ability to walk on water? That often crossed my mind as a child. Why was He able to stay on top of the water without sinking?...and...Why did Peter, once out on that same water suddenly sink?
Well, we asked our local psychic to make a cosmic connection with the good Lord and this is what we learned.
It seems that Jesus, because He was God, had the ability to withstand the terrible tickling onslaughts of the waves against the soles of his feet. But, poor Peter! He got out there on the water, realized how much it tickled, and sank like a rock in a ball of laughter!
*****
There's a new motion before Congress this morning. A resolution to adopt the ancient methods of the Spanish Inquisition has been proposed as a means of discouraging violent crime. Their method...? TICKLE TORTURE!
Supporters of this resolution state that replacing gas chambers and electric chairs with stocks would be very cost effective...not to mention fun! They state that the thought of hours of ceaseless and intense tickle torture is enough to dissuade any evil intentions a person may have.
The ACLU has been very vocal in its opposition to the legislation, stating that it constitutes cruel and unusual punishment. What do the motions opponents in Congress have to say about this? Well...Surprisingly enough...This is one case where Congress is united. There ARE no opponents!
*****
And an update for you on a recent news story about a man who got sick of his wife's nagging and decided to take matters...along with her feet...into his own hands.
The disgruntled hubby and his hysterical wife could be heard from blocks away. When police arrived to investigate, they found the woman bound and laughing uncontrollably as her husband attacked her soles with electric toothbrushes.
Well...Apparently, this idea did not go unnoticed. Local retailers report runs on rope, duct tape and...you guessed it...electric toothbrushes.
Women's groups have complained bitterly that this is unfair and violates equal rights. In an effort to even the odds, our sources state that women plan to organize and fight back...going so far as to purchase the company Braun, known for its variety of the now highly controversial product.
*****
It seems there's another new craze on Wall Street these days. Reports suggest that an increasing number of investors are trading in their stock for stocks.
When we asked people about this unusual turn of events, the responses were pretty much unanimous. Investors are sick of sluggish markets and plummeting stock figures. Sources state that many have chosen to return to the excitement they can no longer find in stocks...opting for the constant jumps in stock figures (or, rather, figures in stocks) and the assurance of always getting a rise out of their investment.
Analysts state that stocks are a sound investment due to their stability and expect the trend to continue.
<laugh> I can see it now! People will trade in their stock for stocks and instead of a bond market, we'll have a bound market. Now, that's my kind of investment!
*****
The SPCA has filed a protest with officials this morning. The group states that making animals lick the feet of bound individuals constitutes cruelty to the animals. Group member, Feather Plume, herself a tickle enthusiast, states that it is not the act of licking in itself that is cruel, but rather the dirtiness of the feet being licked.
In the interest of preserving peace between animal and tickle lovers, Ms. Plume is offering free kits containing small scrub brushes and moisturizing soaps to properly prepare for your tickling adventures.
*****
The International Society of Podiatrists has released the results of an independent study. The study finds that, as a group, foot fetishists and their partners have considerably healthier feet overall than the average person who does not share in their particular interest.
Podiatrists state that those involved in this fetish have significantly lower incidents of common complaints such as athlete's foot, corns and callouses. When asked if there were complaints among this group not commonly present in others, all the could come up with was an occasional bite mark.
*****
It seems that the Star Ship Enterprise has been taken over by tribbles. The furry little creatures managed to slip aboard during a routine mission. To date, they have increased their number a hundred fold and are wreaking havoc on Star Fleet operations.
We asked Enterprise captain, James Kirk, why the creatures aren't just removed. He explained that, whenever someone got an armful of them, the tribbles would all start purring. The tickling sensations caused by this made it impossible for crew members to contain themselves...much less the tribbles.Even Mr Spok, the Vulcan science officer known for his lack of emotions, was unable to contain his laughter long enough to round up the little critters.
Star Fleet representatives here on earth refused to comment on this ticklish situation. A source, who wished to remain anonymous, suggested that the Fleet may be considering bringing in ticklephiles to round them up...more concerned about the disabling of the ship than about the possible security risks.
*****
The local economy of Palermo is expecting a boost in the near future. It seems that a treatment center for those wishing to quit smoking will be opening soon. The center expects a 100% success rate due to its unique treatment plan. The particulars of the centers methods are being a carefully guarded secret. However, our sources state that ticklephiles from around the world are being recruited to work at the center.
This is a story that we definitely plan to follow. Please stay tuned for further developments as they arise.
*****
President Clinton is looking a bit peeked these days. White House insiders state that the president's condition is a result of his wife's revenge for his infidelity. It seems that Hilary has decided to show him that her tongue is just as good as those of his playmates...working him over from head to toe with all-night tickle torture sessions. Sources also state that Hilary's secret service agents are being questioned about their missing handcuffs, but are not likely to reveal any information.
Official White House spokesman refuse to comment.
*****
And finally this morning...a report from the Big Apple...
A Florida man and a New York cabbie are in custody this morning, charged with unlawful imprisonment. This after a mounted cop spotted suspicious activity in a nearby parked cab. When the officer went to investigate, he discovered an upstate woman handcuffed and being tickle tortured in the cabs back seat.
The cabbie, who was the only one willing to speak with us, says that it all began when he picked up the couple at Grand Central Station. As he drove along, he noticed the man struggling to hold the woman still as he tickled her belly. The cabbie, obviously a tickle enthusiast, took pity on the man and tossed back a pair of handcuffs, which the man promptly used to trap the woman's hands behind her back.
As the tickling continued, the cabbie asked to join in the fun. The Florida man stated that it was fine with him as long as they could switch seats. When the officer spotted them nearly an hour later, the woman's feet were trapped in the security window being tickled by the Florida man while the cabbie worked on her belly.
Former school friends and neighbors of the Florida man described him as being very straight-laced. But, they did admit that, when it came to women, he preferred them UNlaced.
Aside from being wide-eyed and breathless with laughter, the woman appeared unharmed. Sources with the police department have serious doubts about the woman's willingness to press charges, though the DA's office suggests that it would be an easy case. It seems that the cabbie had a tape recorder going at the time. This is just a portion of the evidence facing the two men. (laugh track)
Hmmmm! That does sound like an easy case!
*****
Well....That's it for this morning's news. Best wishes to Bob in his recovery. For WTKL Tickle Radio, this is Ann Teasor signing off.
