FeatherJedi
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2001
- Messages
- 1,597
- Points
- 36
A portion of this story is actually Critterlord's story from a while back, which i'm using with his permission. The rest of the story follows the moive VERY closely, including original dialogue. As such, i would like 2 inlude credit 2 the fabulous people who brought this film 2 cinema life back in 1986:
Jim Henson (director, story, and puppets)
Brian Froud (conceptual designer)
George Lucas (executive producer)
Terry Jones (screenplay)
Brian Henson (puppeteer)
Frank Oz (puppeteer)
David Bowie (Jareth, songs)
Jennifer Connelly (Sarah)
thank you
and now, on with the show!
LABYRINTH REVISED (again)
by MC^2 and Critterlord
It just wasn't fair.
Everthing in Sarah Williams' life wasn't fair ever since her mom died. Ever since her father married that seemingly wicked stepmother of hers. Ever since they were blessed with that horrible Toby.
Toby was the whole source of Sarah's problems today.
The day had started out just fine with Sarah rehearsing for her favorite play, "The Labyrinth". He mother, her real mother, had been a very talented and successful actress, and Sarah wanted nothing more than to follow in her footsteps.
But when she returned home in the middle of a storm, things had gone horribly wrong. Her father and stepmother were going out again, like they did every week, and once again, Sarah was being left home alone to take care of Toby.
It just wasn't fair.
So unfair, that Sarah taunted crybaby Toby with one of her favorite legends: that Jareth, the king of the goblins, had fallen in love with her, and that she had the power to summon him forth to take Toby away to be turned into a goblin.
Little did she know that all this was true. Upon the words "I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now," Jareth had come. And he had taken little Toby.
But Jareth, being in love with Sarah, just as she had said, decided to give her a sporting chance to get her brother back. He transported her into the world of her play, and offered the following challenge: solve his labyrinth and get to his castle in the center, beyond the Goblin City, within 13 hours, and he'd give Toby back peacefully.
Sarah, naturally, accepted the challenge, and was helped into the labyrinth by the diminuitive Hoggle. She had tried to mark where she was going with her lipstick, but she soon found that her marks kept changing.
It just wasn't fair.
Then she encountered 2, or rather 4, guards, and had to solve the all-time classic riddle "one of us always tells the truth, and one of us always lies", in order to figure out which door they were guarding to proceed through. She'd solved the riddle with flying colors, but as soon as she stepped through the door, she found herself falling down through a vast, dark shaft, like Alice through the rabbithole.
She screamed as she fell, feeling numerous appendages extending from the walls of the shaft brushing against her. Eventually, she slowly came to a stop in midair, finding herself caught on the appendages.
But then, upon further inspection, she saw that the appendages were actually hands! Hundreds and hundreds of green, ugly hands!
"Stop it!" she cried. "Help!"
Suddenly, a group of hands joined together and formed an odd-looking face.
"What do you mean help?" said the face. "We are helping."
"We're Helping Hands," said another hand-face.
"You're hurting!" whined Sarah.
"That can be fixed," said another hand-face.
Suddenly, Sarah felt many many strong fingers digging into her through her blouse and jeans. At first the digging hurt, but then she found that it tickled. A lot. She burst into heavy laughter.
"Hehehehey! Hahahahaha! Stahap ihihit! Hahahahaha! That tihihihickles!"
Sarah remembered being tickled by cousins and friends. They always loved to tickle her, because she was so incredibly ticklish, particularly on her feet, which she often took very good care of. People always found her to be so adorable when tickled, and her tickled laughter was always so pretty and infectious.
"At least it doesn't hurt, does it?" asked another hand-face.
"Nohohohohoho!" Sarah agreed through her laughter. She tried to protect herself, but the hands had a good grip on her arms and legs, as the rest dug playfully into her underarms, ribs, tummy, and behind her knees through her clothes.
"Aaah! No, pleeheeheease! Ahahaha! Stahahahap! Hahahahaha!"
After about 5 mins, the hands finally stopped their tickling, but continued to hold her as Sarah hung there giggling, calming down.
"Well, then, come on," said a hand-face.
"Which way?"
"Wh-which way?" Sarah repeated, still feeling that flutter in her tummy from all those tickles. With this many hands surrounding her, she was nervous that they would start tickling her again any moment.
"Up or down?" another hand-face clarified.
Sarah contemplated which direction she should go.
"Come on, come on," said a hand-face. "We haven't got all day."
"It's a big decision for her," said another.
"Which way do you want to go?" asked yet another.
"Yes, which way?"
Sarah looked down below her.
"Well....since I'm pointed that way, I guess I'll go down..."
"She chose DOWN!" cried a hand-face almost wickedly.
"She chose DOWN?" asked another in the same wicked tone.
"Was that wrong?" asked Sarah nervously as the hands began to lower her down the shaft.
"Too late now," laughed a hand-face as Sarah suddenly found herself lowered down into a deep, dank chamber: an Oubliette. A place to put people to forget about them.....
**********
It wasn't long before Hoggle came along and, after a bit of bribery, helped Sarah out of the Oubliette. But not before they encountered Jareth himself, who threatened that if Hoggle did help Sarah solve the Labyrinth, he'd suspend him head-first into the Pond of Eternal Laughter, a threat that greatly puzzled Sarah.
Soon, Hoggle began leading Sarah up a ladder out of the Oubliette.
"How can I trust you," asked Sarah, "now that I know you were taking me back to the beginning of the Labyrinth?"
"I wasn't," said Hoggle. "I told him I was taking you back to the beginning just to throw him off the scent."
"Hoggle, how can I believe anything you say?" asked Sarah.
"Let me put it this way," said Hoggle. "What choice have you got?"
Sarah knew when she was beaten. "You're right." She proceeded to follow Hoggle up the ladder.
"You see," explained Hoggle as they climbed up the ladder, "you've got to understand my possition. I'm a coward, and Jareth scares me."
"What kind of possition is that?" asked Sarah.
"No possion. That's my point. You wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever heard the Pond of Eternal Laughter."
This puzzled Sarah. "Is that all it does, is laugh?"
"It gets even worse," explained Hoggle. "If you so much as taste a drop of the Pond of Eternal Laughter, you'll laugh for the rest of your life."
That wouldn't be good, thought Sarah. How am I ever going to become as good an actress as my mother if I can't stop laughing?
Finally, they reached the outside of the Oubliette through a manhole, which lead out of a big pot somwhere near the hedge portion of the Labyrinth.
"Ahh, here you are, then," said Hoggle as they climbed out. "You're on your own from now on."
"What?!"
"That's it, I quit."
"Wait a minute!" protested Sarah. "Hoggle!"
"I said I didn't promise nothing," explained Hoggle. "I said I'd take you as far as I could go."
Sarah was outraged. That's not fair! He barely took me anywhere! It's just not fair! "You little cheat! You nasty little cheat!"
"Now don't try to embarrass me," said Hoggle, waving her off. "I've got no pride."
"Oh yeah?" said Sarah, grinning, as she lunged forward, snatched at his belt, and pulled away his "priceless" collection of plastic jewelry.
"But them's my jewels!" he cried. "Oh, you give 'em back!" He tried to grab them back, but Sarah held them high, and he was too short. He even tried to tickle her to get her to drop them, but Sarah was able to just press her free hand against his big head, preventing him from coming any closer. For several moments this went on, looking as if they were doing some silly little dance together.
"Give those back!" he cried. "Oh, give those back to me!"
"Uh-uhhhh!" she teased in a sing-song voice.
Finally she pulled away and looked around. "Now....there's the castle.....which way should we try?"
But Hoggle wasn't finished whining. "Them's my rightful property! IT'S NOT FAIR!"
"No, it isn't," said Sarah, finally learning an important lesson. "But that's the way it is."
Just then, a feeble old man in a very unusual-looking hat walked by and sat down weakly in a chair made up of the largest books Sarah had ever seen. This was the Wise Man, and he sat in his chair very weakly, his odd hat, which looked like the head of some strange exotic bird, bobbing up and down.
"Excuse me, please," said Sarah, rushing up to him, "but can you help me?"
The Wise Man opened his eyes. "Ah!" he cried excitedly, "A young girl!"
Just then, the hat seemed to come to life, as it let out a loud "whoo whoo whoo!". A flicker of a smile appeared on Sarah's face, genuinely amused by the silly hat.
The Wise Man looked over at Hoggle in a bit of disgust. "And who is this?"
"My friend," Sarah replied after a brief hesitation.
"Ah, yes," said the Wise Man. "And what can I do for you?"
"Well, you see," explained Sarah, "I have to get to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth. Do you know the way?"
The Wise Man took a few moments to think. "You...want to get to the castle, huh?"
"How's that for brainpower, huh?" replied the hat.
"Be quiet!" yelled the Wise Man.
"Aw nuts!" said the hat, pouting.
"So....young woman," said the Wise Man, "The way forward is sometimes the way back."
"Aye! Will you listen to this crap!" cried the hat, speaking Hoggle's exact thoughts.
"Will you please be quite!" yelled the Wise Man, and after a bit of bickering, the hat finally seemed to calm down and be quiet.
"Quite often, young lady," the Wise Man continued, "it seems like we're not getting anywhere, when in fact....."
"We are!" the hat finished.
"We are." the Wise Man finished for himself, irritated.
"Well I'm certainly not getting anywhere at the moment," said Sarah.
"Ha!" cried the hat. "Join the club!"
Then the Wise Man started to doze off.
"I, uh, think that's your lot," said the hat. "Please leave a contribution."
Contribution? thought Sarah. I have to pay a contribution for that little bit of info? She reached for Hoggle's jewels hanging on her belt.
Hoggle saw this and gasped. "Don't you dare!" he cried. "Them's mine!"
Sarah realized it would be mean to give away someone else's possessions, so she looked about her. On her right hand, she saw the ring her mother had left her. It would be very painful parting with it, but it would be worth it if it meant rescuing Toby.
"Well," she said, slipping the ring off her finger and holding it out, "I guess I can spare this."
The hat looked down at the ring. "What is that crap?" it cried, almost outraged.
"It....it was my mother's," said Sarah, wimpering sadly.
"Keep it!" said the hat. "It won't do this bum no good! What this jackass needs is footwear!"
Footwear? thought Sarah. She looked down and saw that the Wise Man had very big, ugly bare feet. She winced.
"Well," she said, "I suppose...." She sat down on the stone ground and began removing her shoes and socks. Hoggle watched. He was amazed at how smooth and petite her feet were. Definately well-pampered. When she had finished, she stood back up and handed her shoes and socks to the snoozing Wise Man.
"Gracias senorita!" thanked the hat.
"Aww," said Hoggle as he and Sarah walked off. "You didn't have to give him those. He did't tell you nothing. Besides, what if you step on something?"
"Well well, then," said the hat to the Wise Man as they walked off. "There go a couple of suckers."
But the Wise Man just continued to snore.
"Ah! It's so stimulating being your hat!" said the hat sarcastically.
**********
"Why did you say that?" asked Hoggle as they walked through the hedge portion of the Labyrinth. "About my being your friend?"
"Because you are," replied Sarah. "You may not be much of a friend, but you're the only friend I've got."
"Hmm," said Hoggle to himself, "friends......I like that......I ain't never been no one's friend before."
Just then there was a loud roar from just nearby.
"Gahh! Goodbye!" cried Hoggle as he began to run off.
"Wait a minute!" Sarah cried as she ran after him and grabbed him.
"Keep the stuff!" Hoggle cried, struggling.
"Are you my friend or not?!"
"No! No I'm not!" said Hoggle, managing to pull away. "Hoggle ain't no one's friend! He looks after himself, like everyone! HOGGLE is HOGGLE'S friend!" And with that, he ran off.
"Hoggle!" Sarah called after him, "You coward!"
Then Sarah heard the roar again. "Well I'm not afraid," she said to herself. "Things aren't always what they seem in this place." And with that, she crept forward and peered around a hedge.
What she saw was amazing. There, in a clearing, were two trees, and hanging from one of them, upside-down, was a huge horned beast covered in shaggy red fur, roaring in agony, for there were four diminutive goblin soldiers poking at it with long sticks. At the end of each stick was a little creature with huge jaws and sharp teeth, biting, or nipping, as the case was, at anything they could reach, which was namely the beast. Sarah couldn't help but feel great sympathy for the beast.
"Haha! Try this for size, you big yeti!"
"Hahaha! We got you now, fuzzball!"
"Nippy nippy nip nip!"
"Bite him on the teriyaki!"
"Saki to him! Saki to him!"
Sarah couldn't take it anymore and rushed into the clearing. "Hey, you! Leave him alone!"
Suddenly, she felt a tight jerk on her right foot, and then she was lifted hard into the air. She had stepped into a snare trap, and was now hanging upside-down by her right ankle from the second tree.
"Hey! Let me down! Help!"
The goblins dropped what they were doing and looked over at her.
"Who's she?"
"She a cutie, that what!"
"Let's nippy her, too!" Three of the goblins slowly approached her with their nipper sticks.
"Wait!" cried the fourth. They stopped, and the fourth walked up to Sara's face. She grabbed the little imp and threw him into a hedge.
"That's her, alright!" he said after he pulled himself back up. "That's the girl his majesty wants stopped!"
"Then we keep her here!"
"And nippy her all over! Haha!"
Sarah cowered at the nipper sticks.
"Wait!" said the fourth again. "His majesty wants her unharmed! I got a better idea!"
The goblin huddled together and whispered as Sarah strained to hear what they were saying. When the huddle cleared, they set aside their nipper sticks and drew out new sticks: each tipped with the most tickliest-looking feathers Sarah had ever seen before. Her eyes widened as the gobblins slowly approached her, kitchy sticks at ready, cackling maliciously.
"No! Please don't! I'm way too ticklish! Please! Anything but that! No! No!! NO!!!"
But it was too late. The kitchy sticks had begun their attack.
But it wasn't as horrible as Sarah thought it would be. After all, they were just feathers, and no one could feel feathers right through their clothes. She began to laugh loudly out of humor.
"Hahaha! Is that all you've got? Hahaha! Oh yea, this really tickles! Hahaha!" she taunted.
The lead goblin seemed outraged. "I'll get you, you....!" And with that, he began to climb the tree, and crawled toward the branch Sarah was hanging from. He aimed his kitchy stick.
"Oh no!" cried Sarah, her helpless foot wriggling around in anticipation.
"Please! Not there! Anywhere but there! Please! Please, DON'T!"
"Prepare to laugh, girly!" cackled the goblin.
Sarah did so, curling her toes down tightly and scrunching her eyes shut, biting her lip.
Then the feather made contact on her bare, ticklish sole.
Sarah's toes imediately uncurled as her foot began to flex about and try to escape the soft, tickly kiss of the feather, as the rest of her began to thrash like a fish on a hook, her free leg kicking in all directions. The goblins had never seen such strong reactions before! The lead goblin giggled to himself as he continued, making the kitchy stick's feather trace lazy patterns slowly all along Sarah's soft, perfect foot. Up and down her soft arch, along her smooth instep, and back and forth under her dainty little wiggling toes.
"AAAAAHahahahahahahaha! No! AAAAH! Please, not THEHEHEHERE! Hahahahahahahaha! Please! Hahahahahahaha! Please, stahahahahahap it! Hahahahahahahaha! Don't! DOHOHOHOHON'T! Hahahahaha! AAAAAAAAAH! Not the inSTEHEHEHEHEP! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"
The other goblins cackled and continued their pitiful assault on her clothed upperbody, just for the heck of it.
"Give her the kitchies!"
"Giggle giggle giggle! Heeheehee!"
"No! Hahahahahahaha! No kihihihitchies! Hahahahahaha! AAAAH! No, not the TOHOHOHOHOHOHOES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Just then, the beast from before let out a deafening roar and, with all its strength, burst free of its bonds and fell to the ground hard. Then it lunged forward and began attacking the tickling goblins. They dropped what they were doing and reached for their nipper sticks, but the beast beat them to them and smashed up the nipper sticks, the little nippers scurying away in fright.
"Retreat!" cried the lead goblin as they rushed about in all directions, bumping into each other along the way. "Aah! My aching sushi!" one cried.
Once the goblins were gone, the beast walk towards Sarah, who was still giggling strongly as she hung there.
"Please! Hehehe...don't...don't eat me!"
But the beast made no attempts to do so.
It just stood there, staring at the pretty face of the one who had tried to save it.
Sarah stared back. "Um...hehehe... are hehe...are you going to let me down?" she asked sweetly through her lingering giggles.
The beast said nothing, and it reached up towards Sarah's branch.
"No, please!" cried Sarah. "Don't you tickle me too! I can't take it!"
But the beast did no such thing, as it untied Sarah's foot, and she fell to the ground with a hard thump.
"OW!" she cried in pain, rubbing her bottom.
The beast kindly helped her up.
"......thank you," she said.
"Thank....you," replied the beast.
Sarah smiled. "I'm Sarah," she said. "I'm a friend."
"Sarah....." said the beast. "Sarah friend......Sarah Ludo friend!" It smiled happily.
"Ludo?" Is that you're name?" asked Sarah.
The beast nodded.
Sarah smiled broadly. She had made a new friend.
**********
It wasn't long before Hoggle was once again confronted by Jareth. This time, he had a gift for Hoggle: a simple-looking peach. Hoggle was told to give that to Sarah or Jareth would tip him into the Pond of Eternal Laughter faster than he could blink. Hoggle reluctantly agreed, and Jareth deaprted with a final warning: that if Sarah ever kisses him, he'd turn him into a prince.......Prince of the Land of Laughter.
Meanwhile, Sarah quickly found herself seperated from Ludo upon entering the Forbidden Forest. Sarah wandered into a clearing and heard a loud clicking sound. She looked around nervously.
"W-what's going on?"
Just then, a very bizarre creature jumped out at Sarah. It was thin and gangly, with big flappy ears, a big beak, a long tail, and was covered in bright red fur and feathers. It was a Firey.
Then another Firey popped out, clicking two sticks together.
"What do you want?" asked Sarah nervously.
Yet another Firey appeared. "We're just out to have a good time!"
Then two more Fireys appeared. Five Fireys were now surrounding Sarah, as one lit a bonfire, and they all began to dance around it and broke into an upbeat song and dance.
When the sun goes down! (When the sun goes down!)
And the bats are back in bed! (And the bats are back!)
The brothers come 'round! (The brothers come 'round!)
I get out of my dirty bed! (My dirty bed!)
I shake my pretty little head! (Shake my pretty little head!)
Tap my pretty little feet! (Tap my pretty little feet!)
Feeling brighter than sunlight
Louder than thunder
Bouncing like a yo-yo, WOOH!
Don't got no problems! (No problems!)
Ain't got no suitcase! (No suitcase!)
Ain't got no clothes to worry about! (No clothes to worry about!)
Ain't got no real estate or jewelry or gold mines to hang me up! (Ain't got no real estate!)
I just thow in my hand! (Thow in his hand!)
With the chilliest bunch in the land (In the land!)
They don't look much
They're sure chilly chilly
They possitively glow glow HA!
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
Think small with the Fire Gang!
IT'S THE ONLY WAY!
Bad hep with the Fire Gang!
A SMILE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down
Chilly down with the Fire Gang!
HEY, I'M A WILD CHILD!
Act tall with the Fire Gang!
WHOO! WALK TALL!
Good times, bad food!
BLEH!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down, Chilly Down!
"Like the man said, take off your head!" cried one of the Fireys, as another Firey came up to Sarah and gave her ribs a light tickle. But Sarah just wasn't in the mood for all this horsing around and easily pushed the Firey's hands away.
Then, one of the Fireys did something remarkable. It ripped off its own hand and threw it into the fire. It went up in flames, and the next thing Sarah knew, it was back on the Firey's wrist where it was supposed to be. Then it did something truly disgusting. It plucked its own eyes out of their sockets.
"Roll 'em!" he cried, and he rolled his eyes on the ground like a pair of dice. "Snake Eyes!" Then he picked his eyes back up and swallowed them, and once again they were back in their sockets.
Then another Firey removed his own head and threw it to another Firey, who dribbled the head like a basketball, and then tossed it another Firey, who detatched his own leg and, with a cry of "FORE!", used the leg like a golf club to hurl the head back to the owner, who put it back on his shoulders. The Fireys continued these disembodiable antics as they continued with their jiggy song and dance.
Drive you crazy, really lazy, eye rollin', funky strollin'
Ball playing, hip swayin', trouble makin', booty shakin'
Tripping, passing, jumping, bouncing, drivin', stylin', creeping, bouncing
Shoutin', screamin', double-dealin', rockin', rollin' and a reelin'
With the mackin' sex appealin'
Can you dig our groovy feelin'?
So when things get too tough (Get too tough!)
And your chin is dragging on the ground (Dragging on the ground!)
And even down looks up! (Down looks up!)
BAD LUCK! HAHAHA!
We can show you a good time! (Show you a good time!)
And we don't charge nothing! (Nothing at all!)
Just strut your nasty stuff
Wiggle in the middle, yea
Get the town talking, Fire Gang!
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
THINK SMALL!
Think small with the Fire Gang!
BAD HEP!
Bad hep with the Fire Gang!
HEY, LISTEN UP!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
AH, SHAKE YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD!
Act tall with the Fire Gang!
TAP YOUR PRETTY LITTLE FEET!
Good times, bad food!
COME ON! COME ON!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
WHOO!
Think small with the Fire Gang!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bad hep with the Fire Gang!
Just then, one of the Fireys jumped onto Sarah and began pulling hard at her head.
"Ow! Get off!"
This puzzled the Firey. "Hey! Her head don't come off!"
"Of course it doesn't!" yelled Sarah as she pulled the Firey off.
"She's right!" said another Firey. "It's stuck on!"
"Hey, lady! Where you goin' with a head like that?"
"Hey, guys! I know what we can do! TAKE OFF HER HEAD!"
"Yeah, let's take her apart!"
One of the Fireys began flapping his big ears, making his head float up off his shoulders. Sarah angrily grabbed the head and threw it aside.
"Hey, lady! That's his head!"
Sarah turned to the objecting Firey and threw his head away too. "Hey, that's my head!" Sarah continued to throw the Fireys' heads away. She didn't have time for this nonsense.
"Hey, that's a friend of mine!
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Hey!"
"Woa!"
Then, once every head was out of the way, she ran off into the Forbidden Forest, trying to find a way out. Behind her, she could hear the Fireys chasing her.
"Hey, lady! It's against the rules to throw other people's heads!"
"Yo! You're only allowed to throw your own head!"
"Yeah! That's right!"
"Where's the referee?" Sarah heard a coach's whistle blow.
"Now we got to take your head off!"
"Stop her, somebody, stop her!"
"Come back, little lady!"
"Play the game!"
"Yeah! We're going to throw your head!"
Then Sarah found herself trapped at a dead end. A stone wall was blocking the way, and the Fireys had caught up with her.
"Hey, you can't quit! The game's not over!" Another whistle blew.
Sarah now found herself cornered and very frightened. "Leave me alone!"
Then, the Fireys pounced upon her.
"Hey, lady! We get a free throw!"
"Hey, lady! You want to take your head off, don't you?"
"'Course she does!"
And with that, the Fireys all began pulling all over at Sarah's body. But instead of pain, she found that this tickled, and she laughed.
"Hehehey! Cut it out, that tickles!"
"Hey, she's ticklish!"
"Tickle her!"
And so they all began tickling her all over on purpose.
"Hehehey! Hahahaha! Stahahahap thahahat! Hahahahaha! Come on, I've hahahad enough of thahahat toDAHAHAHAHAY!!!"
"Take your head off and we'll stop!"
"Yeah, make her laugh!"
"Get her feet!"
"No, not the FEEHEEHEEHEEHEET!" Sarah curled up under the mess of Fireys, tickling her all over. Tickling her feet, knees, tummy, ribs, underarms, and even her neck.
"Hey, she got a pretty laugh!"
"Laugh for us, lady!"
"Yeah, laugh like you've never laughed before!"
"Ahahahahaha! I hahahahahaha I already AHAHAHAHAHAHAM! Hahahahahaha!"
This reminded Sarah so much of when she'd get ganged on by friends and family. But unlike then, she didn't have time for having fun. She had to save Toby.
Just then, a rope dropped down from above. She looked up.
"Hoggle!" she cried through her laughter.
"Grab it!" he yelled.
She grabbed it and began to pull herself up as the Fireys continued to either tickle her or pull her apart. "Leave me alone!" she yelled at them.
"Hey! Don't you want to look like us?"
"Take off your head!"
"It won't hurt!"
"Get a saw!"
"We'll let you play if you take off your arm!"
As Sarah reached the top of the wall where Hoggle awaited her, the Fireys began flapping their big ears and their heads floated up after her.
"An ear! Take off your ear!"
"You don't need two ears!"
"The game's almost over!"
Hoggle shooed away the persistant heads as he helped Sarah up.
"Hoggle!" Sarah cried with glee. "You've come to help me!" She wraped her arms around him.
Fear grew in Hoggle's eyes. "No! Don't kiss me! Don't kiss me!"
Too late. Sarah kissed him, and they imediately fell through a long trap door. They found themselves falling down a long chute, which ended at a big stone wall above a large pond. Hoggle came out first and grabbed onto a branch sticking out of the wall. Then Sarah came, but she managed to stop herself from falling over the edge.
The pond was in the middle of a sunlit area of the forest. The water looked very clean and sparkly, and the ripples in it gave it a very rainbowy color. In the air of this portion of the forest, Sarah could hear beautiful, feminine giggles, which she found quite a bit infectious, making her giggle a little.
"Hehe, what is this place?"
"The Pond of Eternal Laughter!" cried Hoggle, still clutching the branch as Sarah began pulling him up.
Sarah giggled as she continued to pull Hoggle up. "Hehe, this place isn't so bad, hehehe."
Finally. Sarah managed to pull Hoggle up, and they began walking along a thin ledge along the wall.
"What did you have to go and do a thing like that for?" Hoggle complained.
"Hehe, do what?" Sarah giggled. "You-you mean rescue you? Hehehe"
"What?! No!" said Hoggle. "You kissed me!"
Just then, a portion of the ledge gave away, and they nearly fell into the pond. Sarah and Hoggle were able to just step over the broken portion.
"Hehehe, don't pretend to be so hard," said Sarah, still finding the giggles in the air contagious. "Hehehe, I know you came back to help me. Hehehe, and I know that you're my friend, hehehe."
"Did not! Am not!" protested Hoggle. "I've just come to get me property back!"
Then he remembered Jareth's peach. "Oh, and uh...and, uh...to give you...give you, uh...."
"Hehe, give me what?" Sarah giggled.
But then, Hoggle slipped off the ledge. Sarah managed to grab his hand, but got pulled down with him, and they both went falling. But instead of falling into the pond, the fell onto....
"Ludo!" Sarah cried happily.
"Sarah!"
Sarah saw that they were just on the shore of the pond.
"Hehe, where's Hoggle?"
"Mff! Mfff! Mfff! Get off of me!"
Sarah looked down and saw that Ludo was now sitting on Hoggle, Hoggle's little legs kicking like crazy. Ludo apologetically pulled himself up as Hoggle crawled out from under him. Hoggle gasped at the sight of the beast, and Ludo snarled at him, but Sarah held them both back.
"Oh no, it's ok! Hehe, this is Ludo. Hehe, he's a friend too, hehehe."
"A what?" asked Hoggle. I thought I was her only friend!
Sarah looked around. "Hehehe, there's a bridge!" she said, and they began walking towards it, being careful of the pond.
"Watch it," Hoggle warned. "You fall in this stuff and you'll laugh forever."
Finally they reached the bridge, when...
"Stop!"
A little dog wearing an eyepatch and renaissance clothing hopped out of a nearby log and blocked their path. "Stop, I say!"
"Hehe, please," giggled Sarah. "We, hehe, we have to get across."
"Without my permission," said the little dog, "none may pass!"
"Please," said Sarah, "I only have a little time left! Hehehe!"
"Thou darest laugh at the great Sir Didymus?" exclaimed the dog.
"Hehehe, I'm sorry," giggled Sarah. "It's just that, hehe, all this giggling in the air is a little infectious, hehehe."
"Oh, that," said Sir Didymus. "I find it rather annoying, myself. But either way, none may pass without my permission!"
"Oh, get out of my way!" yelled Hoggle as he rushed up to Didymus.
"I warn thee," said Didymus, "I'm sworn to do my duty!" And he hit Hoggle hard with a staff.
"Hehe, come on!" protested Sarah, "Let us get across! Hehehe!"
"Hold!" cried Didymus, as he waved his staff at her, definately knowing how to use it.
But Ludo stepped forward and grabbed the staff and pulled Sir Didymus up off the ground with it.
"I don't want to have to hurt you!" yelled Didymus gallantly, obviously not one to know when he's beaten.
Hoggle saw this as his chance and he ran across the bridge over the pond.
"Hoggle!" cried Sarah through her light giggles. "Where are you going?" But it was too late. Hoggle was gone.
Meanwhile, Sir Didymus continued his "duel" with Ludo. A duel which mainly consisted of him jumping about and wacking Ludo ferociously with his staff at wherever he could get at. At one point, Ludo picked up a big log and began swinging it at the knight, but Didymus was too small and too fast for him.
Then, for some reason, Didymus jumped to the safty of a hole of a hollow tree nearby. "Enough!" he cried. "Before this day, never have I met my match in battle!"
Met his match? thought Sarah. But he was winning!
"Yet this noble knight," he continued, indicating Ludo, "has fought me to a standstill!"
"Hehe, are you alright, Ludo?" asked Sarah. Ludo nodded.
"Sir Ludo, if that's thy name," said the little knight, "now I, Sir Didymus, yield to thee. Come! Let us be brothers hencefoth, and fight for the right as one!"
Ludo nodded and helped Didymus out of the tree. "Ludo get brother!"
"Hehe, good, come on," said Sarah as she atempted to cross the bridge again.
"Wait a minute!" protested Didymus, blocking her way again. "You forget my sacred vow, my lady! I cannot let you pass."
"Hehe, but you just said Ludo was you brother! Hehehe."
"I have taken an oath," explained Didymus, "and I must defend it to the death."
"Hehe, ok, let's handle this thing logically," said Sarah. "Hehe, what exactly have you sworn? Hehehe."
"I have sworn with my lifeblood," explained Didymus, "no one shall pass this way without my permission." At that, he looked very proud of himself.
"Hehe, well," said Sarah, "may we have your permision?"
Didymus froze. He'd never been asked that before. "Well, I...uh...." He thought about it long and hard, until finally he decided why not? "Yes?" he said in a very small voice.
"Hehe, thank you noble sir," said Sarah. And Didymus removed his feathered cap and bowed, allowing her to pass.
Sarah began to step slowly accross the rattly bridge, suddenly debating with herself whether or not this was such a good idea or not.
"Have no fear, sweet lady," Didymus said confidently. "This bridge has lasted for a thousand years." And to prove it, he gave the bridge a good whack with his staff.
Big mistake.
The bridge suddenly gave way beneath her bare feet, and she quickly grabbed an overhanging tree branch above her. Now she was just hanging there precariously over the pond, kicking her legs about.
"It seemed solid enough," Didymus commented to himself.
Sarah could slowly feel herself loosing her grip on the branch. No longer giggling, she was now fearfully calling out to Hoggle for help.
Sure enough, Hoggle returned, and his eyes widened when he saw Sarah's situation.
"Fear not, fair maiden!" Didymus cried out. "I will save thee!.....somehow."
Sarah was determined not to let go. But then something softly tickled her fingers. She looked up and saw a fuzzy caterpillar on the branch slowly crawling across her clenched fingers.
"Hehey! Quit that! It tickles!"
"Huh? What tickles, sweet maiden?" asked Didymus.
"There's a caterpillar on my hand! It's gonna make me let go!"
"Hold on, Sarah!" yelled Hoggle.
But it was too late. Sarah's grip had loosened and she plunged into the pond, making a big splash.
"No!" cried Hoggle.
Sarah quickly surfaced and started splashing. "Help!" she cried.
Thinking quickly, Hoggle grabbed a long tree vine and, holding onto one end, threw it to Sarah. She grabbed hold and Hoggle mightily pulled her out of the pond.
"Sarah, are you ok?" he asked concernedly.
For a few moments, her drenched form lay there, coughing up water.
Then it happened.
"Heh.....hehe......hehehe.....hehehehe.......hahahahaha.......hahahahahaha.....hahahahahahaha! Whahahat's hahahahahahappening? Hahahahahahahahaha! Why hahahahahahahahaha why cahahahahan't I stahahahahap lahahahahahahahaughing? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"I told you," explained Hoggle sadly, "this is the Pond of Eternal Laughter. Now you'll laugh for the rest of your life."
For some magical reason, Sarah found this uproaringly hilarious and doubled over in fits of laughter.
"Hahahahahahaha! Please! Hahahahahahaha! Don't tahahahahalk! Hahahahaha! Everythihihihing's too funneeheeheehee! Hahahahahaha!" She curled up on the grass and began pounding her fists, trying in vain to calm herself down.
On the other side of the pond, Ludo began to sadly wail at the top of his lungs.
"Sir Ludo!" protested Didymus, "canst thou sit by and howl when yon maiden needs our help?"
But Ludo just continued to howl, and Sarah just continued to laugh.
Just then, a nearby boulder began to move, and it rolled into the pond. Then another did the same. Then another. And another. Soon, a makeshift bridge of boulders in the water was formed, allowing passage across for Ludo and Sir Didymus.
"My brother!" cried Didymus, "Canst thou summon up the very rocks?!"
"Sure," replied Ludo as he began crossing. "Rocks friends."
"Sir Ludo, wait for me!" called Didymus. "Ambrosious! It's all right, Ambosious, you can come out now!"
Through tears of laughter, Sarah managed to look across the pond, and saw a sheepdog, the spitting image of her own precious Merlin back home, emerge from some bushed. The only thing different about this sheepdog was that is was wearing a saddle, which Sir Didymus promptly mounted and rode across the bridge of boulders on him. Sarah laughed even harder at the sight. A dog riding a dog. She found that so hilarious.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh dear," said Hoggle, shaking his head. "What am I going to do?"
Then he remembered the peach Jareth had ordered him to give her. He fingered it thoughtfully, then reluctantly handed it out to Sarah.
"Sarah, eat this!" he commanded. "It might make the laughing stop!"
But Sarah just shook her head.
"Hahahahahahahaha! But hahahahahahaha I don't wahahahahahant it to stahahahahahahahap! Hahahahahahahahaha! I hahaha I could lahahahahahaugh like thihihis hahahahaha forever! Hahahahahaha!"
"That's the pond talking, girly, now hurry up and eat it!"
Sarah just shook her head in defiance and rolled around on her back, happily laughing her head off.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Finally, Hoggle could take no more. Forcing back tears, he stradled Sarah's laughing form and forced her to take a bite of the peach.
After a few seconds, Sarah finally managed to calm down and he laughter slowly subsided. She gasped for breath as she tried to regain herself, but she felt something new within her.
"How dost thou feel now, my lady?" asked Sir Didymus.
"That.....that tasted strange...." she said weakly, slowly losing conciouness. She looked at Hoggle through heavy eyes. "Hoggle, what have you done?"
Hoggle just got up and ran off into the forest. "Damn you, Jareth," he said. "And damn me, too."
Sarah felt as if she was being swept up in a bubble, and before Ludo and Sir Didymus' very eyes, she slowly faded away and disappeared...........
**********
She had the most enchanting dream.
She dreamt she was in a bubble. And within this bubble was a masked ball. And she was dancing at the ball. And so was Jareth. In this dream, she and Jareth were both slowly dancing together. She had never imagined that Jareth could look so handsome, so dashing. She wished she could stay like this forever. But then she saw a clock in the corner. Only one hour left.
One hour!
She rushed away from Jareth and tried to find a way out. But all she could find was a mirror. She grabbed a nearby chair and flung it into the mirror, shattering it. Within the mirror, she felt everything falling....and falling.....fallling.......
**********
She groggily awoke in another part of the Labyrinth. She looked down at the peach in her hand and saw a nasty worm crawling out of it. Disgusted, she threw it aside and got up.
Where was she? How did she get here? What was she doing here? What was she even looking for? She just couldn't remember.
She began walking around, looking for a way out. As she plunged ahead, she got the strangest feeling, like something was watching her. She rounded the corner, and saw a dark tunnel into the side of the wall. She headed for it.
Suddenly, she saw the tunnel actually slide down off the wall, and form into a puddle. Sarah gasped. It was an illusion. There had been no tunnel at all! It was really this big black....thing. The black puddle rose until it was a black lump. Two eyes and a smile formed.
Sarah felt some instinctive fear of this thing. She turned and tried to run away.
Then, the black blob reached out a tentacle and wrapped it around her ankles. It pulled up and Sarah went with it.
She was gently laid down on her belly on the cool stones, her bare feet still held captive by the black blob. Suddenly, the black blob extended a long, thin tentacle towards her feet. The tentacle brushed up and down her foot once.
Sarah giggled. It tickled. The blob’s skin felt like a pipe cleaner, all fuzzy. It suddenly clicked for Sarah. This was some sort of tickling monster. The silly grin on the monster’s face suddenly looked a lot more mischievous. She tried to reason with the monster.
“Oh no, not again! Please, you don’t understand. I am too ticklish, especially on my feet. Please, no, no, NO!” Her words reached a yell as the tentacle began to reach for her feet again. It began to stroke up and down her bare, ticklish feet.
“Hahahahhahahahstoppittt, that tickleshhahahahahahass soooooo muchhahahahahahahah!”
Sarah began to pound on the stone, which really didn’t help, as the stones she was pounding were covered with moss. She was barely aware of the eleven other tentacles descending on her helpless feet, although she did realize it when they made contact.
A tentacle forced its way through each of her toes, sawing back and forth. That left two brushing up and down on each of her soles, going in opposite directions. Sarah could no longer pound the ground, because she had no more strength. Her head thrust back in laughter, giving full view of her cute buck teeth.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!!!!!!!” She could no longer form words, the tickling was so intense.
After about a minute, it stopped. Sarah gasped for air, grateful it was over. Or was she? A little part of her mind felt a little regretful that it was over so soon. But, before Sarah could get a handle on her mind, she felt herself being lifted up. Her heart gave a little skip at the realization that the tickling wasn’t over. Whether the skip was from terror or excitement, she couldn’t tell. Maybe it was both.
“No fair!” She yelled, not sure if she actually meant it.
The tentacle placed her right on top of the blob itself. It cushioned around her and formed to fit her body perfectly. The tentacle reattached to the blob, making it more of a black shackle around her ankles. More “shackles” wrapped around her wrists and pulled her arms gently until they were right above her head. Sarah realized what a precarious position she was in and started to nervously giggle.
Her laughter seemed to set the Blotch in motion. Tentacles reached down her sleeves to her armpits. Others reached up her blouse to her ribs, sides and belly. Several even went up her pant legs to get under her knees. Sarah immediately broke into laughter.
“AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA TOOOOOOO TICKLISHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH NO FAIRAHAHAHAHAHHAHA” As Sarah’s body became a wash of sensations, her mind became a wash with thoughts. Through this whole quest, she had been a jumble of nerves. Now she felt her tension oozing away with her laughter, to be replaced by a kind of euphoria, a sort of exciting joy that filled her from head to ticklish toe. If she could have run, she would have, but she would have been disappointed if she could have. As much as she couldn’t admit it, she was having fun.
Just then, a hoard of tentacles, more than Sarah could count, converged on her feet. Not only were they sawing between her toes, they were tickling under her toes and on the toes themselves. A tentacle traced every wrinkle on her foot as the heels and the balls of her feet were treated to multiple swirling motions. This sudden assault on her tender feet drove all other thoughts from her mind.
"AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MYEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Even the most skilled ticklee can only take so much full body tickling before reaching their limit. Sarah was inexperienced and reached her limit in 15 minutes. Gasping and giggling, she took thirty seconds before she realized that the tickling had stopped. It was a good thing, for she knew that just a few more minutes of it, and she would have passed out.
Sarah turned to look into the smiling face of the Blotch.
“So, I guess your some kind of ten-tickle monster huh? Oh NO!” She said, as her feet got several minutes of good tickling for her pun.
"Oh GAHAHAHAHAHAWD! Please, not the FEEHEEHEEHEEHEET!" she squealed as one tentacle each gently stroked softly up and down her hyper-ticklish soles. Her bare feet kicked about like mad from the ankles down, held firmly by the shcakles, as she laughed her oh-so pretty laugh, rolling her head back and forth on the Blotch's surface.
After the Blotch was done, it released her from her bonds, and she smiled.
“I must say, that you have to be the silliest monster in the Labyrinth... The Labyrinth! Toby! Now I remember! I have to save him! But I must be almost out of time! How can I save him now?”
She threw her head in her hands in frustration.
The Blotch was actually very intelligent. It took him only a few seconds to realize the problem.
This was Jareth’s fault. Jareth and his silly kidnapping hobby. He must have taken this girl’s brother. The Blotch could remember a time before Jareth, when all the monsters lived in the Labyrinth in peace. Then Jareth had showed up, with his goblin armies, and pronounced himself ruler of the Labyrinth. The Blotch felt sorry for this cute, sweet little girl, so it decided to help. It was about time someone showed Jared he wasn’t the only one with control of the labyrinth.
Sarah felt a tap on her shoulder. She pulled away from the tentacle with a slight giggle. But the Blotch didn’t want to tickle her quite yet. Infront of her was Jareth’s clock, suspended in the air, with two minutes left on the clock before her time was up. Then, the Blotch's tentacle reached out and pulled the clock back an hour.
Sarah looked at the Blotch in amazement.
“You can do things like that?”
The Blotch quivered up and down. She took that for a yes.
“Can you pull it back any further?”
The Blotch quivered back and forth. She took that for a no.
Sarah sighed. Then she perked up.
“What else can you do?”
The Blotch thought she would never ask.
**********
Sarah suddenly found herself in front of the goblin walls. Right next to her were Ludo, Sir Didymus, and Ambrosious.
“My lady," said Sir Didymus, "how did we
arrive here so soon, after you disappeared like that?”
Sarah’s mind returned to the Blotch, with the fun and the tickling.
“A friend brought us here," she said. "A good friend.”
Then she noticed someone was missing.
"Where's Hoggle?" she asked.
"Gone, I'm afraid," said Didymus. "He took off when he gave you that peach.
Oh no, thought Sarah. Poor Hoggle.
And so, minus one friend, for now, they headed for the walls of the goblin city.
**********
After finally confronting Jareth in his castle, Sarah had overpowerd him, and rescued poor Toby. She soon found herself back in her room at home. All seemed normal for a while, but she missed her friends. She missed them a lot. She needed them. They were her only friends.
And suddenly, like magic, they were all there in her room! Everyone! Hoggle, Ludo, Sir Didymus, Ambrosious, the Wise Man, the Fireys, even some goblins! They were all there, wearing party hats and throwing streamers!
Sarah had never been happier. She had her own world now. Her own fanciful place to escape to from now on whenever she needed to get away from the real world.
After laughing and remeeting everyone, she looked around for one of her friends, but she couldn’t find him. She sighed, and sat down on her bed, watching the growing festivities.
Then, she felt something grab her ankles. She looked down and saw a black tentacle reaching out from under her bed.
“I was wondering when you would show up.” She said leaning back on her bed.
She smiled at the sensation of her socks and shoes being removed. She giggled at the sensation of the tentacle caressing her sensitive feet. She laughed at the sensation of the tentacles tickling her ticklish toes.
As Sarah began to fill with laughter, tightly clutching a pillow in happy attempts to contain herself, all seemed right in the world.
The End
Jim Henson (director, story, and puppets)
Brian Froud (conceptual designer)
George Lucas (executive producer)
Terry Jones (screenplay)
Brian Henson (puppeteer)
Frank Oz (puppeteer)
David Bowie (Jareth, songs)
Jennifer Connelly (Sarah)
thank you
and now, on with the show!
LABYRINTH REVISED (again)
by MC^2 and Critterlord
It just wasn't fair.
Everthing in Sarah Williams' life wasn't fair ever since her mom died. Ever since her father married that seemingly wicked stepmother of hers. Ever since they were blessed with that horrible Toby.
Toby was the whole source of Sarah's problems today.
The day had started out just fine with Sarah rehearsing for her favorite play, "The Labyrinth". He mother, her real mother, had been a very talented and successful actress, and Sarah wanted nothing more than to follow in her footsteps.
But when she returned home in the middle of a storm, things had gone horribly wrong. Her father and stepmother were going out again, like they did every week, and once again, Sarah was being left home alone to take care of Toby.
It just wasn't fair.
So unfair, that Sarah taunted crybaby Toby with one of her favorite legends: that Jareth, the king of the goblins, had fallen in love with her, and that she had the power to summon him forth to take Toby away to be turned into a goblin.
Little did she know that all this was true. Upon the words "I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now," Jareth had come. And he had taken little Toby.
But Jareth, being in love with Sarah, just as she had said, decided to give her a sporting chance to get her brother back. He transported her into the world of her play, and offered the following challenge: solve his labyrinth and get to his castle in the center, beyond the Goblin City, within 13 hours, and he'd give Toby back peacefully.
Sarah, naturally, accepted the challenge, and was helped into the labyrinth by the diminuitive Hoggle. She had tried to mark where she was going with her lipstick, but she soon found that her marks kept changing.
It just wasn't fair.
Then she encountered 2, or rather 4, guards, and had to solve the all-time classic riddle "one of us always tells the truth, and one of us always lies", in order to figure out which door they were guarding to proceed through. She'd solved the riddle with flying colors, but as soon as she stepped through the door, she found herself falling down through a vast, dark shaft, like Alice through the rabbithole.
She screamed as she fell, feeling numerous appendages extending from the walls of the shaft brushing against her. Eventually, she slowly came to a stop in midair, finding herself caught on the appendages.
But then, upon further inspection, she saw that the appendages were actually hands! Hundreds and hundreds of green, ugly hands!
"Stop it!" she cried. "Help!"
Suddenly, a group of hands joined together and formed an odd-looking face.
"What do you mean help?" said the face. "We are helping."
"We're Helping Hands," said another hand-face.
"You're hurting!" whined Sarah.
"That can be fixed," said another hand-face.
Suddenly, Sarah felt many many strong fingers digging into her through her blouse and jeans. At first the digging hurt, but then she found that it tickled. A lot. She burst into heavy laughter.
"Hehehehey! Hahahahaha! Stahap ihihit! Hahahahaha! That tihihihickles!"
Sarah remembered being tickled by cousins and friends. They always loved to tickle her, because she was so incredibly ticklish, particularly on her feet, which she often took very good care of. People always found her to be so adorable when tickled, and her tickled laughter was always so pretty and infectious.
"At least it doesn't hurt, does it?" asked another hand-face.
"Nohohohohoho!" Sarah agreed through her laughter. She tried to protect herself, but the hands had a good grip on her arms and legs, as the rest dug playfully into her underarms, ribs, tummy, and behind her knees through her clothes.
"Aaah! No, pleeheeheease! Ahahaha! Stahahahap! Hahahahaha!"
After about 5 mins, the hands finally stopped their tickling, but continued to hold her as Sarah hung there giggling, calming down.
"Well, then, come on," said a hand-face.
"Which way?"
"Wh-which way?" Sarah repeated, still feeling that flutter in her tummy from all those tickles. With this many hands surrounding her, she was nervous that they would start tickling her again any moment.
"Up or down?" another hand-face clarified.
Sarah contemplated which direction she should go.
"Come on, come on," said a hand-face. "We haven't got all day."
"It's a big decision for her," said another.
"Which way do you want to go?" asked yet another.
"Yes, which way?"
Sarah looked down below her.
"Well....since I'm pointed that way, I guess I'll go down..."
"She chose DOWN!" cried a hand-face almost wickedly.
"She chose DOWN?" asked another in the same wicked tone.
"Was that wrong?" asked Sarah nervously as the hands began to lower her down the shaft.
"Too late now," laughed a hand-face as Sarah suddenly found herself lowered down into a deep, dank chamber: an Oubliette. A place to put people to forget about them.....
**********
It wasn't long before Hoggle came along and, after a bit of bribery, helped Sarah out of the Oubliette. But not before they encountered Jareth himself, who threatened that if Hoggle did help Sarah solve the Labyrinth, he'd suspend him head-first into the Pond of Eternal Laughter, a threat that greatly puzzled Sarah.
Soon, Hoggle began leading Sarah up a ladder out of the Oubliette.
"How can I trust you," asked Sarah, "now that I know you were taking me back to the beginning of the Labyrinth?"
"I wasn't," said Hoggle. "I told him I was taking you back to the beginning just to throw him off the scent."
"Hoggle, how can I believe anything you say?" asked Sarah.
"Let me put it this way," said Hoggle. "What choice have you got?"
Sarah knew when she was beaten. "You're right." She proceeded to follow Hoggle up the ladder.
"You see," explained Hoggle as they climbed up the ladder, "you've got to understand my possition. I'm a coward, and Jareth scares me."
"What kind of possition is that?" asked Sarah.
"No possion. That's my point. You wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever heard the Pond of Eternal Laughter."
This puzzled Sarah. "Is that all it does, is laugh?"
"It gets even worse," explained Hoggle. "If you so much as taste a drop of the Pond of Eternal Laughter, you'll laugh for the rest of your life."
That wouldn't be good, thought Sarah. How am I ever going to become as good an actress as my mother if I can't stop laughing?
Finally, they reached the outside of the Oubliette through a manhole, which lead out of a big pot somwhere near the hedge portion of the Labyrinth.
"Ahh, here you are, then," said Hoggle as they climbed out. "You're on your own from now on."
"What?!"
"That's it, I quit."
"Wait a minute!" protested Sarah. "Hoggle!"
"I said I didn't promise nothing," explained Hoggle. "I said I'd take you as far as I could go."
Sarah was outraged. That's not fair! He barely took me anywhere! It's just not fair! "You little cheat! You nasty little cheat!"
"Now don't try to embarrass me," said Hoggle, waving her off. "I've got no pride."
"Oh yeah?" said Sarah, grinning, as she lunged forward, snatched at his belt, and pulled away his "priceless" collection of plastic jewelry.
"But them's my jewels!" he cried. "Oh, you give 'em back!" He tried to grab them back, but Sarah held them high, and he was too short. He even tried to tickle her to get her to drop them, but Sarah was able to just press her free hand against his big head, preventing him from coming any closer. For several moments this went on, looking as if they were doing some silly little dance together.
"Give those back!" he cried. "Oh, give those back to me!"
"Uh-uhhhh!" she teased in a sing-song voice.
Finally she pulled away and looked around. "Now....there's the castle.....which way should we try?"
But Hoggle wasn't finished whining. "Them's my rightful property! IT'S NOT FAIR!"
"No, it isn't," said Sarah, finally learning an important lesson. "But that's the way it is."
Just then, a feeble old man in a very unusual-looking hat walked by and sat down weakly in a chair made up of the largest books Sarah had ever seen. This was the Wise Man, and he sat in his chair very weakly, his odd hat, which looked like the head of some strange exotic bird, bobbing up and down.
"Excuse me, please," said Sarah, rushing up to him, "but can you help me?"
The Wise Man opened his eyes. "Ah!" he cried excitedly, "A young girl!"
Just then, the hat seemed to come to life, as it let out a loud "whoo whoo whoo!". A flicker of a smile appeared on Sarah's face, genuinely amused by the silly hat.
The Wise Man looked over at Hoggle in a bit of disgust. "And who is this?"
"My friend," Sarah replied after a brief hesitation.
"Ah, yes," said the Wise Man. "And what can I do for you?"
"Well, you see," explained Sarah, "I have to get to the castle at the center of the Labyrinth. Do you know the way?"
The Wise Man took a few moments to think. "You...want to get to the castle, huh?"
"How's that for brainpower, huh?" replied the hat.
"Be quiet!" yelled the Wise Man.
"Aw nuts!" said the hat, pouting.
"So....young woman," said the Wise Man, "The way forward is sometimes the way back."
"Aye! Will you listen to this crap!" cried the hat, speaking Hoggle's exact thoughts.
"Will you please be quite!" yelled the Wise Man, and after a bit of bickering, the hat finally seemed to calm down and be quiet.
"Quite often, young lady," the Wise Man continued, "it seems like we're not getting anywhere, when in fact....."
"We are!" the hat finished.
"We are." the Wise Man finished for himself, irritated.
"Well I'm certainly not getting anywhere at the moment," said Sarah.
"Ha!" cried the hat. "Join the club!"
Then the Wise Man started to doze off.
"I, uh, think that's your lot," said the hat. "Please leave a contribution."
Contribution? thought Sarah. I have to pay a contribution for that little bit of info? She reached for Hoggle's jewels hanging on her belt.
Hoggle saw this and gasped. "Don't you dare!" he cried. "Them's mine!"
Sarah realized it would be mean to give away someone else's possessions, so she looked about her. On her right hand, she saw the ring her mother had left her. It would be very painful parting with it, but it would be worth it if it meant rescuing Toby.
"Well," she said, slipping the ring off her finger and holding it out, "I guess I can spare this."
The hat looked down at the ring. "What is that crap?" it cried, almost outraged.
"It....it was my mother's," said Sarah, wimpering sadly.
"Keep it!" said the hat. "It won't do this bum no good! What this jackass needs is footwear!"
Footwear? thought Sarah. She looked down and saw that the Wise Man had very big, ugly bare feet. She winced.
"Well," she said, "I suppose...." She sat down on the stone ground and began removing her shoes and socks. Hoggle watched. He was amazed at how smooth and petite her feet were. Definately well-pampered. When she had finished, she stood back up and handed her shoes and socks to the snoozing Wise Man.
"Gracias senorita!" thanked the hat.
"Aww," said Hoggle as he and Sarah walked off. "You didn't have to give him those. He did't tell you nothing. Besides, what if you step on something?"
"Well well, then," said the hat to the Wise Man as they walked off. "There go a couple of suckers."
But the Wise Man just continued to snore.
"Ah! It's so stimulating being your hat!" said the hat sarcastically.
**********
"Why did you say that?" asked Hoggle as they walked through the hedge portion of the Labyrinth. "About my being your friend?"
"Because you are," replied Sarah. "You may not be much of a friend, but you're the only friend I've got."
"Hmm," said Hoggle to himself, "friends......I like that......I ain't never been no one's friend before."
Just then there was a loud roar from just nearby.
"Gahh! Goodbye!" cried Hoggle as he began to run off.
"Wait a minute!" Sarah cried as she ran after him and grabbed him.
"Keep the stuff!" Hoggle cried, struggling.
"Are you my friend or not?!"
"No! No I'm not!" said Hoggle, managing to pull away. "Hoggle ain't no one's friend! He looks after himself, like everyone! HOGGLE is HOGGLE'S friend!" And with that, he ran off.
"Hoggle!" Sarah called after him, "You coward!"
Then Sarah heard the roar again. "Well I'm not afraid," she said to herself. "Things aren't always what they seem in this place." And with that, she crept forward and peered around a hedge.
What she saw was amazing. There, in a clearing, were two trees, and hanging from one of them, upside-down, was a huge horned beast covered in shaggy red fur, roaring in agony, for there were four diminutive goblin soldiers poking at it with long sticks. At the end of each stick was a little creature with huge jaws and sharp teeth, biting, or nipping, as the case was, at anything they could reach, which was namely the beast. Sarah couldn't help but feel great sympathy for the beast.
"Haha! Try this for size, you big yeti!"
"Hahaha! We got you now, fuzzball!"
"Nippy nippy nip nip!"
"Bite him on the teriyaki!"
"Saki to him! Saki to him!"
Sarah couldn't take it anymore and rushed into the clearing. "Hey, you! Leave him alone!"
Suddenly, she felt a tight jerk on her right foot, and then she was lifted hard into the air. She had stepped into a snare trap, and was now hanging upside-down by her right ankle from the second tree.
"Hey! Let me down! Help!"
The goblins dropped what they were doing and looked over at her.
"Who's she?"
"She a cutie, that what!"
"Let's nippy her, too!" Three of the goblins slowly approached her with their nipper sticks.
"Wait!" cried the fourth. They stopped, and the fourth walked up to Sara's face. She grabbed the little imp and threw him into a hedge.
"That's her, alright!" he said after he pulled himself back up. "That's the girl his majesty wants stopped!"
"Then we keep her here!"
"And nippy her all over! Haha!"
Sarah cowered at the nipper sticks.
"Wait!" said the fourth again. "His majesty wants her unharmed! I got a better idea!"
The goblin huddled together and whispered as Sarah strained to hear what they were saying. When the huddle cleared, they set aside their nipper sticks and drew out new sticks: each tipped with the most tickliest-looking feathers Sarah had ever seen before. Her eyes widened as the gobblins slowly approached her, kitchy sticks at ready, cackling maliciously.
"No! Please don't! I'm way too ticklish! Please! Anything but that! No! No!! NO!!!"
But it was too late. The kitchy sticks had begun their attack.
But it wasn't as horrible as Sarah thought it would be. After all, they were just feathers, and no one could feel feathers right through their clothes. She began to laugh loudly out of humor.
"Hahaha! Is that all you've got? Hahaha! Oh yea, this really tickles! Hahaha!" she taunted.
The lead goblin seemed outraged. "I'll get you, you....!" And with that, he began to climb the tree, and crawled toward the branch Sarah was hanging from. He aimed his kitchy stick.
"Oh no!" cried Sarah, her helpless foot wriggling around in anticipation.
"Please! Not there! Anywhere but there! Please! Please, DON'T!"
"Prepare to laugh, girly!" cackled the goblin.
Sarah did so, curling her toes down tightly and scrunching her eyes shut, biting her lip.
Then the feather made contact on her bare, ticklish sole.
Sarah's toes imediately uncurled as her foot began to flex about and try to escape the soft, tickly kiss of the feather, as the rest of her began to thrash like a fish on a hook, her free leg kicking in all directions. The goblins had never seen such strong reactions before! The lead goblin giggled to himself as he continued, making the kitchy stick's feather trace lazy patterns slowly all along Sarah's soft, perfect foot. Up and down her soft arch, along her smooth instep, and back and forth under her dainty little wiggling toes.
"AAAAAHahahahahahahaha! No! AAAAH! Please, not THEHEHEHERE! Hahahahahahahaha! Please! Hahahahahahaha! Please, stahahahahahap it! Hahahahahahahaha! Don't! DOHOHOHOHON'T! Hahahahaha! AAAAAAAAAH! Not the inSTEHEHEHEHEP! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!"
The other goblins cackled and continued their pitiful assault on her clothed upperbody, just for the heck of it.
"Give her the kitchies!"
"Giggle giggle giggle! Heeheehee!"
"No! Hahahahahahaha! No kihihihitchies! Hahahahahaha! AAAAH! No, not the TOHOHOHOHOHOHOES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Just then, the beast from before let out a deafening roar and, with all its strength, burst free of its bonds and fell to the ground hard. Then it lunged forward and began attacking the tickling goblins. They dropped what they were doing and reached for their nipper sticks, but the beast beat them to them and smashed up the nipper sticks, the little nippers scurying away in fright.
"Retreat!" cried the lead goblin as they rushed about in all directions, bumping into each other along the way. "Aah! My aching sushi!" one cried.
Once the goblins were gone, the beast walk towards Sarah, who was still giggling strongly as she hung there.
"Please! Hehehe...don't...don't eat me!"
But the beast made no attempts to do so.
It just stood there, staring at the pretty face of the one who had tried to save it.
Sarah stared back. "Um...hehehe... are hehe...are you going to let me down?" she asked sweetly through her lingering giggles.
The beast said nothing, and it reached up towards Sarah's branch.
"No, please!" cried Sarah. "Don't you tickle me too! I can't take it!"
But the beast did no such thing, as it untied Sarah's foot, and she fell to the ground with a hard thump.
"OW!" she cried in pain, rubbing her bottom.
The beast kindly helped her up.
"......thank you," she said.
"Thank....you," replied the beast.
Sarah smiled. "I'm Sarah," she said. "I'm a friend."
"Sarah....." said the beast. "Sarah friend......Sarah Ludo friend!" It smiled happily.
"Ludo?" Is that you're name?" asked Sarah.
The beast nodded.
Sarah smiled broadly. She had made a new friend.
**********
It wasn't long before Hoggle was once again confronted by Jareth. This time, he had a gift for Hoggle: a simple-looking peach. Hoggle was told to give that to Sarah or Jareth would tip him into the Pond of Eternal Laughter faster than he could blink. Hoggle reluctantly agreed, and Jareth deaprted with a final warning: that if Sarah ever kisses him, he'd turn him into a prince.......Prince of the Land of Laughter.
Meanwhile, Sarah quickly found herself seperated from Ludo upon entering the Forbidden Forest. Sarah wandered into a clearing and heard a loud clicking sound. She looked around nervously.
"W-what's going on?"
Just then, a very bizarre creature jumped out at Sarah. It was thin and gangly, with big flappy ears, a big beak, a long tail, and was covered in bright red fur and feathers. It was a Firey.
Then another Firey popped out, clicking two sticks together.
"What do you want?" asked Sarah nervously.
Yet another Firey appeared. "We're just out to have a good time!"
Then two more Fireys appeared. Five Fireys were now surrounding Sarah, as one lit a bonfire, and they all began to dance around it and broke into an upbeat song and dance.
When the sun goes down! (When the sun goes down!)
And the bats are back in bed! (And the bats are back!)
The brothers come 'round! (The brothers come 'round!)
I get out of my dirty bed! (My dirty bed!)
I shake my pretty little head! (Shake my pretty little head!)
Tap my pretty little feet! (Tap my pretty little feet!)
Feeling brighter than sunlight
Louder than thunder
Bouncing like a yo-yo, WOOH!
Don't got no problems! (No problems!)
Ain't got no suitcase! (No suitcase!)
Ain't got no clothes to worry about! (No clothes to worry about!)
Ain't got no real estate or jewelry or gold mines to hang me up! (Ain't got no real estate!)
I just thow in my hand! (Thow in his hand!)
With the chilliest bunch in the land (In the land!)
They don't look much
They're sure chilly chilly
They possitively glow glow HA!
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
Think small with the Fire Gang!
IT'S THE ONLY WAY!
Bad hep with the Fire Gang!
A SMILE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down
Chilly down with the Fire Gang!
HEY, I'M A WILD CHILD!
Act tall with the Fire Gang!
WHOO! WALK TALL!
Good times, bad food!
BLEH!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down, Chilly Down!
"Like the man said, take off your head!" cried one of the Fireys, as another Firey came up to Sarah and gave her ribs a light tickle. But Sarah just wasn't in the mood for all this horsing around and easily pushed the Firey's hands away.
Then, one of the Fireys did something remarkable. It ripped off its own hand and threw it into the fire. It went up in flames, and the next thing Sarah knew, it was back on the Firey's wrist where it was supposed to be. Then it did something truly disgusting. It plucked its own eyes out of their sockets.
"Roll 'em!" he cried, and he rolled his eyes on the ground like a pair of dice. "Snake Eyes!" Then he picked his eyes back up and swallowed them, and once again they were back in their sockets.
Then another Firey removed his own head and threw it to another Firey, who dribbled the head like a basketball, and then tossed it another Firey, who detatched his own leg and, with a cry of "FORE!", used the leg like a golf club to hurl the head back to the owner, who put it back on his shoulders. The Fireys continued these disembodiable antics as they continued with their jiggy song and dance.
Drive you crazy, really lazy, eye rollin', funky strollin'
Ball playing, hip swayin', trouble makin', booty shakin'
Tripping, passing, jumping, bouncing, drivin', stylin', creeping, bouncing
Shoutin', screamin', double-dealin', rockin', rollin' and a reelin'
With the mackin' sex appealin'
Can you dig our groovy feelin'?
So when things get too tough (Get too tough!)
And your chin is dragging on the ground (Dragging on the ground!)
And even down looks up! (Down looks up!)
BAD LUCK! HAHAHA!
We can show you a good time! (Show you a good time!)
And we don't charge nothing! (Nothing at all!)
Just strut your nasty stuff
Wiggle in the middle, yea
Get the town talking, Fire Gang!
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
THINK SMALL!
Think small with the Fire Gang!
BAD HEP!
Bad hep with the Fire Gang!
HEY, LISTEN UP!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
AH, SHAKE YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD!
Act tall with the Fire Gang!
TAP YOUR PRETTY LITTLE FEET!
Good times, bad food!
COME ON! COME ON!
When your thing gets wild, Chilly Down
Chilly Down with the Fire Gang!
WHOO!
Think small with the Fire Gang!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bad hep with the Fire Gang!
Just then, one of the Fireys jumped onto Sarah and began pulling hard at her head.
"Ow! Get off!"
This puzzled the Firey. "Hey! Her head don't come off!"
"Of course it doesn't!" yelled Sarah as she pulled the Firey off.
"She's right!" said another Firey. "It's stuck on!"
"Hey, lady! Where you goin' with a head like that?"
"Hey, guys! I know what we can do! TAKE OFF HER HEAD!"
"Yeah, let's take her apart!"
One of the Fireys began flapping his big ears, making his head float up off his shoulders. Sarah angrily grabbed the head and threw it aside.
"Hey, lady! That's his head!"
Sarah turned to the objecting Firey and threw his head away too. "Hey, that's my head!" Sarah continued to throw the Fireys' heads away. She didn't have time for this nonsense.
"Hey, that's a friend of mine!
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Hey!"
"Woa!"
Then, once every head was out of the way, she ran off into the Forbidden Forest, trying to find a way out. Behind her, she could hear the Fireys chasing her.
"Hey, lady! It's against the rules to throw other people's heads!"
"Yo! You're only allowed to throw your own head!"
"Yeah! That's right!"
"Where's the referee?" Sarah heard a coach's whistle blow.
"Now we got to take your head off!"
"Stop her, somebody, stop her!"
"Come back, little lady!"
"Play the game!"
"Yeah! We're going to throw your head!"
Then Sarah found herself trapped at a dead end. A stone wall was blocking the way, and the Fireys had caught up with her.
"Hey, you can't quit! The game's not over!" Another whistle blew.
Sarah now found herself cornered and very frightened. "Leave me alone!"
Then, the Fireys pounced upon her.
"Hey, lady! We get a free throw!"
"Hey, lady! You want to take your head off, don't you?"
"'Course she does!"
And with that, the Fireys all began pulling all over at Sarah's body. But instead of pain, she found that this tickled, and she laughed.
"Hehehey! Cut it out, that tickles!"
"Hey, she's ticklish!"
"Tickle her!"
And so they all began tickling her all over on purpose.
"Hehehey! Hahahaha! Stahahahap thahahat! Hahahahaha! Come on, I've hahahad enough of thahahat toDAHAHAHAHAY!!!"
"Take your head off and we'll stop!"
"Yeah, make her laugh!"
"Get her feet!"
"No, not the FEEHEEHEEHEEHEET!" Sarah curled up under the mess of Fireys, tickling her all over. Tickling her feet, knees, tummy, ribs, underarms, and even her neck.
"Hey, she got a pretty laugh!"
"Laugh for us, lady!"
"Yeah, laugh like you've never laughed before!"
"Ahahahahaha! I hahahahahaha I already AHAHAHAHAHAHAM! Hahahahahaha!"
This reminded Sarah so much of when she'd get ganged on by friends and family. But unlike then, she didn't have time for having fun. She had to save Toby.
Just then, a rope dropped down from above. She looked up.
"Hoggle!" she cried through her laughter.
"Grab it!" he yelled.
She grabbed it and began to pull herself up as the Fireys continued to either tickle her or pull her apart. "Leave me alone!" she yelled at them.
"Hey! Don't you want to look like us?"
"Take off your head!"
"It won't hurt!"
"Get a saw!"
"We'll let you play if you take off your arm!"
As Sarah reached the top of the wall where Hoggle awaited her, the Fireys began flapping their big ears and their heads floated up after her.
"An ear! Take off your ear!"
"You don't need two ears!"
"The game's almost over!"
Hoggle shooed away the persistant heads as he helped Sarah up.
"Hoggle!" Sarah cried with glee. "You've come to help me!" She wraped her arms around him.
Fear grew in Hoggle's eyes. "No! Don't kiss me! Don't kiss me!"
Too late. Sarah kissed him, and they imediately fell through a long trap door. They found themselves falling down a long chute, which ended at a big stone wall above a large pond. Hoggle came out first and grabbed onto a branch sticking out of the wall. Then Sarah came, but she managed to stop herself from falling over the edge.
The pond was in the middle of a sunlit area of the forest. The water looked very clean and sparkly, and the ripples in it gave it a very rainbowy color. In the air of this portion of the forest, Sarah could hear beautiful, feminine giggles, which she found quite a bit infectious, making her giggle a little.
"Hehe, what is this place?"
"The Pond of Eternal Laughter!" cried Hoggle, still clutching the branch as Sarah began pulling him up.
Sarah giggled as she continued to pull Hoggle up. "Hehe, this place isn't so bad, hehehe."
Finally. Sarah managed to pull Hoggle up, and they began walking along a thin ledge along the wall.
"What did you have to go and do a thing like that for?" Hoggle complained.
"Hehe, do what?" Sarah giggled. "You-you mean rescue you? Hehehe"
"What?! No!" said Hoggle. "You kissed me!"
Just then, a portion of the ledge gave away, and they nearly fell into the pond. Sarah and Hoggle were able to just step over the broken portion.
"Hehehe, don't pretend to be so hard," said Sarah, still finding the giggles in the air contagious. "Hehehe, I know you came back to help me. Hehehe, and I know that you're my friend, hehehe."
"Did not! Am not!" protested Hoggle. "I've just come to get me property back!"
Then he remembered Jareth's peach. "Oh, and uh...and, uh...to give you...give you, uh...."
"Hehe, give me what?" Sarah giggled.
But then, Hoggle slipped off the ledge. Sarah managed to grab his hand, but got pulled down with him, and they both went falling. But instead of falling into the pond, the fell onto....
"Ludo!" Sarah cried happily.
"Sarah!"
Sarah saw that they were just on the shore of the pond.
"Hehe, where's Hoggle?"
"Mff! Mfff! Mfff! Get off of me!"
Sarah looked down and saw that Ludo was now sitting on Hoggle, Hoggle's little legs kicking like crazy. Ludo apologetically pulled himself up as Hoggle crawled out from under him. Hoggle gasped at the sight of the beast, and Ludo snarled at him, but Sarah held them both back.
"Oh no, it's ok! Hehe, this is Ludo. Hehe, he's a friend too, hehehe."
"A what?" asked Hoggle. I thought I was her only friend!
Sarah looked around. "Hehehe, there's a bridge!" she said, and they began walking towards it, being careful of the pond.
"Watch it," Hoggle warned. "You fall in this stuff and you'll laugh forever."
Finally they reached the bridge, when...
"Stop!"
A little dog wearing an eyepatch and renaissance clothing hopped out of a nearby log and blocked their path. "Stop, I say!"
"Hehe, please," giggled Sarah. "We, hehe, we have to get across."
"Without my permission," said the little dog, "none may pass!"
"Please," said Sarah, "I only have a little time left! Hehehe!"
"Thou darest laugh at the great Sir Didymus?" exclaimed the dog.
"Hehehe, I'm sorry," giggled Sarah. "It's just that, hehe, all this giggling in the air is a little infectious, hehehe."
"Oh, that," said Sir Didymus. "I find it rather annoying, myself. But either way, none may pass without my permission!"
"Oh, get out of my way!" yelled Hoggle as he rushed up to Didymus.
"I warn thee," said Didymus, "I'm sworn to do my duty!" And he hit Hoggle hard with a staff.
"Hehe, come on!" protested Sarah, "Let us get across! Hehehe!"
"Hold!" cried Didymus, as he waved his staff at her, definately knowing how to use it.
But Ludo stepped forward and grabbed the staff and pulled Sir Didymus up off the ground with it.
"I don't want to have to hurt you!" yelled Didymus gallantly, obviously not one to know when he's beaten.
Hoggle saw this as his chance and he ran across the bridge over the pond.
"Hoggle!" cried Sarah through her light giggles. "Where are you going?" But it was too late. Hoggle was gone.
Meanwhile, Sir Didymus continued his "duel" with Ludo. A duel which mainly consisted of him jumping about and wacking Ludo ferociously with his staff at wherever he could get at. At one point, Ludo picked up a big log and began swinging it at the knight, but Didymus was too small and too fast for him.
Then, for some reason, Didymus jumped to the safty of a hole of a hollow tree nearby. "Enough!" he cried. "Before this day, never have I met my match in battle!"
Met his match? thought Sarah. But he was winning!
"Yet this noble knight," he continued, indicating Ludo, "has fought me to a standstill!"
"Hehe, are you alright, Ludo?" asked Sarah. Ludo nodded.
"Sir Ludo, if that's thy name," said the little knight, "now I, Sir Didymus, yield to thee. Come! Let us be brothers hencefoth, and fight for the right as one!"
Ludo nodded and helped Didymus out of the tree. "Ludo get brother!"
"Hehe, good, come on," said Sarah as she atempted to cross the bridge again.
"Wait a minute!" protested Didymus, blocking her way again. "You forget my sacred vow, my lady! I cannot let you pass."
"Hehe, but you just said Ludo was you brother! Hehehe."
"I have taken an oath," explained Didymus, "and I must defend it to the death."
"Hehe, ok, let's handle this thing logically," said Sarah. "Hehe, what exactly have you sworn? Hehehe."
"I have sworn with my lifeblood," explained Didymus, "no one shall pass this way without my permission." At that, he looked very proud of himself.
"Hehe, well," said Sarah, "may we have your permision?"
Didymus froze. He'd never been asked that before. "Well, I...uh...." He thought about it long and hard, until finally he decided why not? "Yes?" he said in a very small voice.
"Hehe, thank you noble sir," said Sarah. And Didymus removed his feathered cap and bowed, allowing her to pass.
Sarah began to step slowly accross the rattly bridge, suddenly debating with herself whether or not this was such a good idea or not.
"Have no fear, sweet lady," Didymus said confidently. "This bridge has lasted for a thousand years." And to prove it, he gave the bridge a good whack with his staff.
Big mistake.
The bridge suddenly gave way beneath her bare feet, and she quickly grabbed an overhanging tree branch above her. Now she was just hanging there precariously over the pond, kicking her legs about.
"It seemed solid enough," Didymus commented to himself.
Sarah could slowly feel herself loosing her grip on the branch. No longer giggling, she was now fearfully calling out to Hoggle for help.
Sure enough, Hoggle returned, and his eyes widened when he saw Sarah's situation.
"Fear not, fair maiden!" Didymus cried out. "I will save thee!.....somehow."
Sarah was determined not to let go. But then something softly tickled her fingers. She looked up and saw a fuzzy caterpillar on the branch slowly crawling across her clenched fingers.
"Hehey! Quit that! It tickles!"
"Huh? What tickles, sweet maiden?" asked Didymus.
"There's a caterpillar on my hand! It's gonna make me let go!"
"Hold on, Sarah!" yelled Hoggle.
But it was too late. Sarah's grip had loosened and she plunged into the pond, making a big splash.
"No!" cried Hoggle.
Sarah quickly surfaced and started splashing. "Help!" she cried.
Thinking quickly, Hoggle grabbed a long tree vine and, holding onto one end, threw it to Sarah. She grabbed hold and Hoggle mightily pulled her out of the pond.
"Sarah, are you ok?" he asked concernedly.
For a few moments, her drenched form lay there, coughing up water.
Then it happened.
"Heh.....hehe......hehehe.....hehehehe.......hahahahaha.......hahahahahaha.....hahahahahahaha! Whahahat's hahahahahahappening? Hahahahahahahahaha! Why hahahahahahahahaha why cahahahahan't I stahahahahap lahahahahahahahaughing? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"I told you," explained Hoggle sadly, "this is the Pond of Eternal Laughter. Now you'll laugh for the rest of your life."
For some magical reason, Sarah found this uproaringly hilarious and doubled over in fits of laughter.
"Hahahahahahaha! Please! Hahahahahahaha! Don't tahahahahalk! Hahahahaha! Everythihihihing's too funneeheeheehee! Hahahahahaha!" She curled up on the grass and began pounding her fists, trying in vain to calm herself down.
On the other side of the pond, Ludo began to sadly wail at the top of his lungs.
"Sir Ludo!" protested Didymus, "canst thou sit by and howl when yon maiden needs our help?"
But Ludo just continued to howl, and Sarah just continued to laugh.
Just then, a nearby boulder began to move, and it rolled into the pond. Then another did the same. Then another. And another. Soon, a makeshift bridge of boulders in the water was formed, allowing passage across for Ludo and Sir Didymus.
"My brother!" cried Didymus, "Canst thou summon up the very rocks?!"
"Sure," replied Ludo as he began crossing. "Rocks friends."
"Sir Ludo, wait for me!" called Didymus. "Ambrosious! It's all right, Ambosious, you can come out now!"
Through tears of laughter, Sarah managed to look across the pond, and saw a sheepdog, the spitting image of her own precious Merlin back home, emerge from some bushed. The only thing different about this sheepdog was that is was wearing a saddle, which Sir Didymus promptly mounted and rode across the bridge of boulders on him. Sarah laughed even harder at the sight. A dog riding a dog. She found that so hilarious.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh dear," said Hoggle, shaking his head. "What am I going to do?"
Then he remembered the peach Jareth had ordered him to give her. He fingered it thoughtfully, then reluctantly handed it out to Sarah.
"Sarah, eat this!" he commanded. "It might make the laughing stop!"
But Sarah just shook her head.
"Hahahahahahahaha! But hahahahahahaha I don't wahahahahahant it to stahahahahahahahap! Hahahahahahahahaha! I hahaha I could lahahahahahaugh like thihihis hahahahaha forever! Hahahahahaha!"
"That's the pond talking, girly, now hurry up and eat it!"
Sarah just shook her head in defiance and rolled around on her back, happily laughing her head off.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Finally, Hoggle could take no more. Forcing back tears, he stradled Sarah's laughing form and forced her to take a bite of the peach.
After a few seconds, Sarah finally managed to calm down and he laughter slowly subsided. She gasped for breath as she tried to regain herself, but she felt something new within her.
"How dost thou feel now, my lady?" asked Sir Didymus.
"That.....that tasted strange...." she said weakly, slowly losing conciouness. She looked at Hoggle through heavy eyes. "Hoggle, what have you done?"
Hoggle just got up and ran off into the forest. "Damn you, Jareth," he said. "And damn me, too."
Sarah felt as if she was being swept up in a bubble, and before Ludo and Sir Didymus' very eyes, she slowly faded away and disappeared...........
**********
She had the most enchanting dream.
She dreamt she was in a bubble. And within this bubble was a masked ball. And she was dancing at the ball. And so was Jareth. In this dream, she and Jareth were both slowly dancing together. She had never imagined that Jareth could look so handsome, so dashing. She wished she could stay like this forever. But then she saw a clock in the corner. Only one hour left.
One hour!
She rushed away from Jareth and tried to find a way out. But all she could find was a mirror. She grabbed a nearby chair and flung it into the mirror, shattering it. Within the mirror, she felt everything falling....and falling.....fallling.......
**********
She groggily awoke in another part of the Labyrinth. She looked down at the peach in her hand and saw a nasty worm crawling out of it. Disgusted, she threw it aside and got up.
Where was she? How did she get here? What was she doing here? What was she even looking for? She just couldn't remember.
She began walking around, looking for a way out. As she plunged ahead, she got the strangest feeling, like something was watching her. She rounded the corner, and saw a dark tunnel into the side of the wall. She headed for it.
Suddenly, she saw the tunnel actually slide down off the wall, and form into a puddle. Sarah gasped. It was an illusion. There had been no tunnel at all! It was really this big black....thing. The black puddle rose until it was a black lump. Two eyes and a smile formed.
Sarah felt some instinctive fear of this thing. She turned and tried to run away.
Then, the black blob reached out a tentacle and wrapped it around her ankles. It pulled up and Sarah went with it.
She was gently laid down on her belly on the cool stones, her bare feet still held captive by the black blob. Suddenly, the black blob extended a long, thin tentacle towards her feet. The tentacle brushed up and down her foot once.
Sarah giggled. It tickled. The blob’s skin felt like a pipe cleaner, all fuzzy. It suddenly clicked for Sarah. This was some sort of tickling monster. The silly grin on the monster’s face suddenly looked a lot more mischievous. She tried to reason with the monster.
“Oh no, not again! Please, you don’t understand. I am too ticklish, especially on my feet. Please, no, no, NO!” Her words reached a yell as the tentacle began to reach for her feet again. It began to stroke up and down her bare, ticklish feet.
“Hahahahhahahahstoppittt, that tickleshhahahahahahass soooooo muchhahahahahahahah!”
Sarah began to pound on the stone, which really didn’t help, as the stones she was pounding were covered with moss. She was barely aware of the eleven other tentacles descending on her helpless feet, although she did realize it when they made contact.
A tentacle forced its way through each of her toes, sawing back and forth. That left two brushing up and down on each of her soles, going in opposite directions. Sarah could no longer pound the ground, because she had no more strength. Her head thrust back in laughter, giving full view of her cute buck teeth.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA!!!!!!!” She could no longer form words, the tickling was so intense.
After about a minute, it stopped. Sarah gasped for air, grateful it was over. Or was she? A little part of her mind felt a little regretful that it was over so soon. But, before Sarah could get a handle on her mind, she felt herself being lifted up. Her heart gave a little skip at the realization that the tickling wasn’t over. Whether the skip was from terror or excitement, she couldn’t tell. Maybe it was both.
“No fair!” She yelled, not sure if she actually meant it.
The tentacle placed her right on top of the blob itself. It cushioned around her and formed to fit her body perfectly. The tentacle reattached to the blob, making it more of a black shackle around her ankles. More “shackles” wrapped around her wrists and pulled her arms gently until they were right above her head. Sarah realized what a precarious position she was in and started to nervously giggle.
Her laughter seemed to set the Blotch in motion. Tentacles reached down her sleeves to her armpits. Others reached up her blouse to her ribs, sides and belly. Several even went up her pant legs to get under her knees. Sarah immediately broke into laughter.
“AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA TOOOOOOO TICKLISHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH NO FAIRAHAHAHAHAHHAHA” As Sarah’s body became a wash of sensations, her mind became a wash with thoughts. Through this whole quest, she had been a jumble of nerves. Now she felt her tension oozing away with her laughter, to be replaced by a kind of euphoria, a sort of exciting joy that filled her from head to ticklish toe. If she could have run, she would have, but she would have been disappointed if she could have. As much as she couldn’t admit it, she was having fun.
Just then, a hoard of tentacles, more than Sarah could count, converged on her feet. Not only were they sawing between her toes, they were tickling under her toes and on the toes themselves. A tentacle traced every wrinkle on her foot as the heels and the balls of her feet were treated to multiple swirling motions. This sudden assault on her tender feet drove all other thoughts from her mind.
"AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MYEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Even the most skilled ticklee can only take so much full body tickling before reaching their limit. Sarah was inexperienced and reached her limit in 15 minutes. Gasping and giggling, she took thirty seconds before she realized that the tickling had stopped. It was a good thing, for she knew that just a few more minutes of it, and she would have passed out.
Sarah turned to look into the smiling face of the Blotch.
“So, I guess your some kind of ten-tickle monster huh? Oh NO!” She said, as her feet got several minutes of good tickling for her pun.
"Oh GAHAHAHAHAHAWD! Please, not the FEEHEEHEEHEEHEET!" she squealed as one tentacle each gently stroked softly up and down her hyper-ticklish soles. Her bare feet kicked about like mad from the ankles down, held firmly by the shcakles, as she laughed her oh-so pretty laugh, rolling her head back and forth on the Blotch's surface.
After the Blotch was done, it released her from her bonds, and she smiled.
“I must say, that you have to be the silliest monster in the Labyrinth... The Labyrinth! Toby! Now I remember! I have to save him! But I must be almost out of time! How can I save him now?”
She threw her head in her hands in frustration.
The Blotch was actually very intelligent. It took him only a few seconds to realize the problem.
This was Jareth’s fault. Jareth and his silly kidnapping hobby. He must have taken this girl’s brother. The Blotch could remember a time before Jareth, when all the monsters lived in the Labyrinth in peace. Then Jareth had showed up, with his goblin armies, and pronounced himself ruler of the Labyrinth. The Blotch felt sorry for this cute, sweet little girl, so it decided to help. It was about time someone showed Jared he wasn’t the only one with control of the labyrinth.
Sarah felt a tap on her shoulder. She pulled away from the tentacle with a slight giggle. But the Blotch didn’t want to tickle her quite yet. Infront of her was Jareth’s clock, suspended in the air, with two minutes left on the clock before her time was up. Then, the Blotch's tentacle reached out and pulled the clock back an hour.
Sarah looked at the Blotch in amazement.
“You can do things like that?”
The Blotch quivered up and down. She took that for a yes.
“Can you pull it back any further?”
The Blotch quivered back and forth. She took that for a no.
Sarah sighed. Then she perked up.
“What else can you do?”
The Blotch thought she would never ask.
**********
Sarah suddenly found herself in front of the goblin walls. Right next to her were Ludo, Sir Didymus, and Ambrosious.
“My lady," said Sir Didymus, "how did we
arrive here so soon, after you disappeared like that?”
Sarah’s mind returned to the Blotch, with the fun and the tickling.
“A friend brought us here," she said. "A good friend.”
Then she noticed someone was missing.
"Where's Hoggle?" she asked.
"Gone, I'm afraid," said Didymus. "He took off when he gave you that peach.
Oh no, thought Sarah. Poor Hoggle.
And so, minus one friend, for now, they headed for the walls of the goblin city.
**********
After finally confronting Jareth in his castle, Sarah had overpowerd him, and rescued poor Toby. She soon found herself back in her room at home. All seemed normal for a while, but she missed her friends. She missed them a lot. She needed them. They were her only friends.
And suddenly, like magic, they were all there in her room! Everyone! Hoggle, Ludo, Sir Didymus, Ambrosious, the Wise Man, the Fireys, even some goblins! They were all there, wearing party hats and throwing streamers!
Sarah had never been happier. She had her own world now. Her own fanciful place to escape to from now on whenever she needed to get away from the real world.
After laughing and remeeting everyone, she looked around for one of her friends, but she couldn’t find him. She sighed, and sat down on her bed, watching the growing festivities.
Then, she felt something grab her ankles. She looked down and saw a black tentacle reaching out from under her bed.
“I was wondering when you would show up.” She said leaning back on her bed.
She smiled at the sensation of her socks and shoes being removed. She giggled at the sensation of the tentacle caressing her sensitive feet. She laughed at the sensation of the tentacles tickling her ticklish toes.
As Sarah began to fill with laughter, tightly clutching a pillow in happy attempts to contain herself, all seemed right in the world.
The End
