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BOFH666
03-31-2003, 05:04 PM
Hmm, it must be something to do with actually seeing sunlight for more than 10 hours, but for some reason I really felt like writing something suited to spring today. Unfortunately I suspect I’ve messed it up badly by trying something a bit, well okay a lot, different than my normal ‘style’ *cough* whatstyle? *cough* . The idea was to get away from my usual heavy-handed overuse of description and go completely the other way. Kind of like running a strobe light over a scene, just presenting flashes of what’s going on and you, dear reader, filling in the rest.

Anyway, hope it’s not too bad, any feedback would be great, even if only as a ‘dear $Deity, don’t write like that again’ thing.

Enjoy

**********************************

It's a Beautiful Day

A spring morning, the sky crystal clear as the sun beats down on the rolling fields and hills below, rich untouched grass as far as the eye can see.

A shallow valley in between two gentle hills, a shady, hidden hollow away from the worries and cares of the world.

A small thicket of trees stands guard, providing a cool respite from the constant sunlight.

Two figures sitting in a low branch of the widest tree, arms wrapped around each other, each lost in the other.

The soft, gentle caress of hands against flesh and fabric. Oblivious to the rest of the world, to anything other than each other and this small slice of paradise.

A whispered comment, a quick movement of a hand and he drops to the ground, her silk neckerchief fluttering from his fingers.

A cry of mock outrage as she drops to the ground and chases him out into the light, luxuriating in the movement, laughing in pleasure at the pure, simple joy of the chase.

A blur of energy and they fall to the ground, her arms wrapped around his waist, her hands reaching for her prize.

His hands drop to her waist, holding the scarf behind her, out of reach while pulling her close, their bodies pressed close.

Her eyes on his, her hands running slowly down his body, over his chest and down.

Her fingers digging into his ribs, his surprised gasp of laughter, his hands struggling to pull back from behind her to defend himself.

Her grin as she digs in, her voice teasing him as he laughs into the clear air, the sound flowing over their hideaway.

His body twisting to escape, the effort to pull his arm free, her surprised cry as he brings his hand up to the hollow under her arm,

The laughter as they gently roll down the hill, locked together as they tease their senses, the tantalising, fleeting touch of skin on skin, their laughter wrapped around them like a blanket.

Her body sliding on top of his at the bottom of the hill, her legs wrapping around his, holding him tight.

His hands behind her, the scarf gently wrapped around her wrist, tied for safekeeping.

His hands on her back, gently pressing down.

Her head moving down towards his, her eyes locked on his, her hands moving up to cradle his head.

Their kiss.

Two figures lying on the ground, a dark spot against the sea of green.

A sea that stretches to the horizon

AffectionateDan
05-27-2003, 01:29 PM
I wonder if I have a twin somewhere that I was separated from at birth?!?!? It's like you're on the same wavelength as I am when it come to your writing, it really speaks to me. Great job!

BOFH666
05-27-2003, 04:16 PM
Hmmm, why does "Thank You" seem a tad lame as a reply to such an, umm, enthusiastic reply *grin*. Just glad you liked it.

Out of curiosity, if you have a minute or twenty (actual minutes required may vary depending on reading speed) any chance you could have a look at Bloodhounds (http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=29392) for me? I'm currently up to my neck in this story trying to keep everything heading the right way and some feedback on good, bad or awful would be a big help.

AffectionateDan
05-27-2003, 05:26 PM
Originally posted by BOFH666
Hmmm, why does "Thank You" seem a tad lame as a reply to such an, umm, enthusiastic reply *grin*. Just glad you liked it.

Out of curiosity, if you have a minute or twenty (actual minutes required may vary depending on reading speed) any chance you could have a look at Bloodhounds (http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=29392) for me? I'm currently up to my neck in this story trying to keep everything heading the right way and some feedback on good, bad or awful would be a big help.


Lemme at it! :D

MrMacphisto
05-27-2003, 08:58 PM
good stuff, man... by the way, BOFH is an abbreviation for Bastard Operator from Hell, isn't it? I loved that series... lol

JPie1
05-27-2003, 09:03 PM
that was very sweet. I liked


JPie

Ayla ny
05-29-2003, 12:28 AM
that was just wonderful!