Mechafeather87
TMF Poster
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2015
- Messages
- 78
- Points
- 8
Alright everyone,
Most of you probably don't know me. I'm a newer member but have been a behind the scenes kinda guy for awhile. I enjoy writing but I'm not perfect yet. Please help me out by critiquing my work. Positive and negative comments are requested. Please do not be mean though. I hope you all enjoy it.
Another bright and beautiful sunny morning graced the town of Severton. Laura, her best friend Carly and Laura's boyfriend Thomas were walking to school.
"Laura, is it just me or are you sulky today?" Asked Carly.
"You should know why." Replied Laura.
Today was Laura's 18th birthday, however it was forever doomed to be a day of sadness. Something awful happened to Laura and her family one year ago today.
"I just thought you might be excited to go out and experience the new club that opened called Bahama Bongo!" Carly said.
"Honestly Carly, how could you forget, one year ago today my sister Lexi disappeared!"
Laura stopped and turned to look to her right off in the distance. Over the hill was a run down house where it is rumored a psychotic old lunatic named Mr. E lived.
Laura started crying because this was the area that Lexi was last reported being spotted.
"Hey babe, you can't buy into all the rumors." "I know what you're thinking, but there isn't enough proof that the old geezer did anything." Thomas said.
"Laura, I'm sorry." Carly said. "I should have remembered, just because we are both 18 now doesn't mean we need to go party all the time."
"Fine, you want to get me a birthday gift?" "Then both of you come with me tonight and help me figure out what happend to Lexi." Laura exclaimed.
"It's been one year and the cops haven't given us one god damn new detail!" "They don't give a damn, that for certain!
"Whoa!" Thomas said. "Babe, please think this through, we don't know what's over there and we could all get hurt."
"Yeah, let's just go to class and figure the rest of our day out later." Carly said.
"I guess you're right." Laura said.
Hours passed by and the group reunited after school. They talked about what they wanted to do. Laura told Carly and Thomas she was going to go home and take a
Nap. She didn't feel like partying tonight. They all went their separate ways and walked home.
Later that night Carly heard her phone buzzing. She picked it up and saw Laura calling.
"Hello?" Carly answered. "Hey Laura, what's up?"
"Carly, I changed my mind. I wanna go out tonight. Let's meet up where we meet up to walk to school."
"Laura, it's getting late, can't we do this some other night?"
"Ok ok, I'll be there shortly."
Twenty mins passed and Carly met up with Laura. Carly asked Laura what she wanted to do so badly.
"We are going over to that house and looking for clues." Laura said
"Oh my god!" Carly shrieked. "Are you kidding me right now?"
"Don't you remember what Thomas said?" "This is dangerous!" Carly exclaimed.
"Think about it Carly, this isn't just about Lexi anymore!" "More and more dissapearances have happened recently, if we find some clues that stuck It to Mr. E, we could be Heros!"
Knowing full well she couldn't just leave Laura to go by herself, Carly agreed to go as long as they made it a quick trip. The two girls made their way over to the creepy looking house. The Windows were dirty and all fogged up. Neither of them could see if anybody was home.
"Let's try the front door." Laura said.
"What?!" "No way!" Carly exclaimed.
"How else are we suppose to find clues?" Said Laura.
Carly just rolled her eyes. She had a bad feeling about this.
"Ugh! It's locked!" "Now what?!" Laura said angrily.
"Let's go home before we get caught!" Carly sneered.
"Let's try the back door, if we can't get in that way we can go home." "Deal?" Laura asked.
Both girls topped toed around to the back. Laura watched for the door handle and what do you know. The door swung wide open. Carly looked up into the night sky cursing every word in the book. Non the less the two girls stepped inside. Before they could do anything though they heard a pencils noise. Two hoses one on each side of the wall spewed out a nasty stinky gas. Both girls instantly fell to the floor. Just as quick as the girls were napping, a man came around the corner and scooped both girls up. He brought them to his secret bunker. Below the house.
Time had passed and the man had taken the liberty to fasten both girls to some sturdy wooden chairs. Both of their hands were tied behind the chairs and their feet were propped up in two sets of stocks. He removed their shoes and their socks. He walked over to the other side of the room and wheeled a cart over to where Laura and Carly were being held. He grabbed a stool and say it down next to the cart. He sighed to himself and decided it was time to wake the both of them. He grabbed some smelling salts and put it near both of their noses.
Laura and Carly instantly woke up coughing and hacking.
"Ahh!" Welcome did you two ladies have a nice nap?"
"Let us go!" Shouted Laura.
"Please Mr., let us go" Carly chimed in.
Carly was much nicer about it. She knew this would lead to trouble.
"I'm sorry ladies, I cannot do that." "Not until you answer some questions for me."
"Never!" Laura spat.
"Why are we tied up?" Carly asked.
She was really scared. She noticed that she couldn't move her hands since they were tied tight and her feet had no slack in the stocks.
"Not only can't we move, but we are barefoot too!" Carly said in an even more concerted tone.
"You ladies better start talking, tell me why you were sneaking around on my private property?"
"Go to hell!" "You're a creep and I know that you are up to something!" Laura said angrily.
"Laura, don't provoke him!" "We aren't exactly in a position of power here."
"You better listen to your friend girly, last chance or....
"Or what!!" Laura snapped.
"Or you will suffer the consequences!" Said the man.
"Mr. E, please let us go, this is a big miss understanding."
Mr. E stopped for a moment shook his head and sighed.
"You brats leave me no choice." He reached his hand out and started scratching at Laura's heels going back and forth between her heels and her sole.
Laura was hit by a shockwave of tendure nerve endings but she wasn't going to let this bastard win. She refused to laugh.
He kept doing this for a couple of mins but didn't get a single peep out of her.
"You two girls know something and I intend to find out what."
"Let's see how well your friend does."
Mr E reached over to Carly and did the same thing except this time the result was quite different. Carly was a mess. She started letting out heeps of giggles. Her eyes squinted shut after each pass of the mans finger nails gliding on her ticklish flesh.
"Heelpahah!" "Heeheee no nohohohaha" Carly laughed hysterically
"You brats are going to tell me why you came here, or you will be very sorry!"
"Please stop!" Carly begged. "We are already sorry!"
Mr. E quit ticking Carly for a min. He looked at the both of them and said
"No, there is no way I believe that." Especially the tough cookie over here."
"I have plans to break you, and we can start with this!"
He turned back to Laura. This time he reached over to his cart and grabbed a nice stiff owl feather. He showed it to Laura. She suddenly started to not feel so tough now.
Mr. E traced the feather all over Laura's soles. She didn't laugh at first. Each stroke became more difficult to handle however and she eventually started giggling. He kept this up for a good ten min. Laura was sweaty and losing breath.
"Tell me why you came here?"
"Haha...hee hoo hoo" "n...ne.Never!" Laura said.
Getting frustrated Mr. E turned back to Carly. He knew what he had to do. It was clear that Laura wasn't going to break. Even though he was in a protected bunker, he wanted to get the information out the them as soon as possible.
He took the feather and started reading Carly's toes. She melted into a hysterical laughing goo. He didn't stop either. Carly knew that she was the weak link. Within mins Carly broke down.
"Hahaha!! Oh please! No no morehohooree!"
"Then talk!"
"Oh... Ok. I'll tell, I'll tell!"
Carly explained why they showed up and what they were looking for. She explained about Laura's sister.
Laura felt hurt and betrayed. She started cursing Carly out. This only lead to Carly firing back about warning Laura to listen and none of this would have happened.
Mr. E interrupted them and asked Carly to repeat the part about Laura's sister.
Mr. E lit up and went over to Carly and asked her to share a secret about Laura. He offered her freedom if and only if she were to tell him how to break Laura. He wanted to know her most tickish spot. Carly thought long and hard about it and decided to give it to him. Laura was also tickling under her toes.
"Fine, I'll let you go, but if you try and come back with cops you will get mech worse."
"As for you missy, I've got a surprise for you."
Mr. E said that he would return after letting Carly lose. He blind folded her and lead her out into the middle of the road so that she wouldn't know how to get back.
After 30 mins he returned and explained to Laura why he kept her. Truth is all the rumors of missing girls were true. In fact Laura's sister was still in the very same house.
"You are the most stubborn brat I've ever met!" "I intend to break you, just like I did to Lexi!"
Laura gasped... She had no idea just how sorry she was going to be. She should have listened to her friends. Mr E grabbed his cart and pulled out some powered toys to play around with Laura's toes.
Laughing and begging were all you could here, however, that's a story for another day.
Most of you probably don't know me. I'm a newer member but have been a behind the scenes kinda guy for awhile. I enjoy writing but I'm not perfect yet. Please help me out by critiquing my work. Positive and negative comments are requested. Please do not be mean though. I hope you all enjoy it.
Another bright and beautiful sunny morning graced the town of Severton. Laura, her best friend Carly and Laura's boyfriend Thomas were walking to school.
"Laura, is it just me or are you sulky today?" Asked Carly.
"You should know why." Replied Laura.
Today was Laura's 18th birthday, however it was forever doomed to be a day of sadness. Something awful happened to Laura and her family one year ago today.
"I just thought you might be excited to go out and experience the new club that opened called Bahama Bongo!" Carly said.
"Honestly Carly, how could you forget, one year ago today my sister Lexi disappeared!"
Laura stopped and turned to look to her right off in the distance. Over the hill was a run down house where it is rumored a psychotic old lunatic named Mr. E lived.
Laura started crying because this was the area that Lexi was last reported being spotted.
"Hey babe, you can't buy into all the rumors." "I know what you're thinking, but there isn't enough proof that the old geezer did anything." Thomas said.
"Laura, I'm sorry." Carly said. "I should have remembered, just because we are both 18 now doesn't mean we need to go party all the time."
"Fine, you want to get me a birthday gift?" "Then both of you come with me tonight and help me figure out what happend to Lexi." Laura exclaimed.
"It's been one year and the cops haven't given us one god damn new detail!" "They don't give a damn, that for certain!
"Whoa!" Thomas said. "Babe, please think this through, we don't know what's over there and we could all get hurt."
"Yeah, let's just go to class and figure the rest of our day out later." Carly said.
"I guess you're right." Laura said.
Hours passed by and the group reunited after school. They talked about what they wanted to do. Laura told Carly and Thomas she was going to go home and take a
Nap. She didn't feel like partying tonight. They all went their separate ways and walked home.
Later that night Carly heard her phone buzzing. She picked it up and saw Laura calling.
"Hello?" Carly answered. "Hey Laura, what's up?"
"Carly, I changed my mind. I wanna go out tonight. Let's meet up where we meet up to walk to school."
"Laura, it's getting late, can't we do this some other night?"
"Ok ok, I'll be there shortly."
Twenty mins passed and Carly met up with Laura. Carly asked Laura what she wanted to do so badly.
"We are going over to that house and looking for clues." Laura said
"Oh my god!" Carly shrieked. "Are you kidding me right now?"
"Don't you remember what Thomas said?" "This is dangerous!" Carly exclaimed.
"Think about it Carly, this isn't just about Lexi anymore!" "More and more dissapearances have happened recently, if we find some clues that stuck It to Mr. E, we could be Heros!"
Knowing full well she couldn't just leave Laura to go by herself, Carly agreed to go as long as they made it a quick trip. The two girls made their way over to the creepy looking house. The Windows were dirty and all fogged up. Neither of them could see if anybody was home.
"Let's try the front door." Laura said.
"What?!" "No way!" Carly exclaimed.
"How else are we suppose to find clues?" Said Laura.
Carly just rolled her eyes. She had a bad feeling about this.
"Ugh! It's locked!" "Now what?!" Laura said angrily.
"Let's go home before we get caught!" Carly sneered.
"Let's try the back door, if we can't get in that way we can go home." "Deal?" Laura asked.
Both girls topped toed around to the back. Laura watched for the door handle and what do you know. The door swung wide open. Carly looked up into the night sky cursing every word in the book. Non the less the two girls stepped inside. Before they could do anything though they heard a pencils noise. Two hoses one on each side of the wall spewed out a nasty stinky gas. Both girls instantly fell to the floor. Just as quick as the girls were napping, a man came around the corner and scooped both girls up. He brought them to his secret bunker. Below the house.
Time had passed and the man had taken the liberty to fasten both girls to some sturdy wooden chairs. Both of their hands were tied behind the chairs and their feet were propped up in two sets of stocks. He removed their shoes and their socks. He walked over to the other side of the room and wheeled a cart over to where Laura and Carly were being held. He grabbed a stool and say it down next to the cart. He sighed to himself and decided it was time to wake the both of them. He grabbed some smelling salts and put it near both of their noses.
Laura and Carly instantly woke up coughing and hacking.
"Ahh!" Welcome did you two ladies have a nice nap?"
"Let us go!" Shouted Laura.
"Please Mr., let us go" Carly chimed in.
Carly was much nicer about it. She knew this would lead to trouble.
"I'm sorry ladies, I cannot do that." "Not until you answer some questions for me."
"Never!" Laura spat.
"Why are we tied up?" Carly asked.
She was really scared. She noticed that she couldn't move her hands since they were tied tight and her feet had no slack in the stocks.
"Not only can't we move, but we are barefoot too!" Carly said in an even more concerted tone.
"You ladies better start talking, tell me why you were sneaking around on my private property?"
"Go to hell!" "You're a creep and I know that you are up to something!" Laura said angrily.
"Laura, don't provoke him!" "We aren't exactly in a position of power here."
"You better listen to your friend girly, last chance or....
"Or what!!" Laura snapped.
"Or you will suffer the consequences!" Said the man.
"Mr. E, please let us go, this is a big miss understanding."
Mr. E stopped for a moment shook his head and sighed.
"You brats leave me no choice." He reached his hand out and started scratching at Laura's heels going back and forth between her heels and her sole.
Laura was hit by a shockwave of tendure nerve endings but she wasn't going to let this bastard win. She refused to laugh.
He kept doing this for a couple of mins but didn't get a single peep out of her.
"You two girls know something and I intend to find out what."
"Let's see how well your friend does."
Mr E reached over to Carly and did the same thing except this time the result was quite different. Carly was a mess. She started letting out heeps of giggles. Her eyes squinted shut after each pass of the mans finger nails gliding on her ticklish flesh.
"Heelpahah!" "Heeheee no nohohohaha" Carly laughed hysterically
"You brats are going to tell me why you came here, or you will be very sorry!"
"Please stop!" Carly begged. "We are already sorry!"
Mr. E quit ticking Carly for a min. He looked at the both of them and said
"No, there is no way I believe that." Especially the tough cookie over here."
"I have plans to break you, and we can start with this!"
He turned back to Laura. This time he reached over to his cart and grabbed a nice stiff owl feather. He showed it to Laura. She suddenly started to not feel so tough now.
Mr. E traced the feather all over Laura's soles. She didn't laugh at first. Each stroke became more difficult to handle however and she eventually started giggling. He kept this up for a good ten min. Laura was sweaty and losing breath.
"Tell me why you came here?"
"Haha...hee hoo hoo" "n...ne.Never!" Laura said.
Getting frustrated Mr. E turned back to Carly. He knew what he had to do. It was clear that Laura wasn't going to break. Even though he was in a protected bunker, he wanted to get the information out the them as soon as possible.
He took the feather and started reading Carly's toes. She melted into a hysterical laughing goo. He didn't stop either. Carly knew that she was the weak link. Within mins Carly broke down.
"Hahaha!! Oh please! No no morehohooree!"
"Then talk!"
"Oh... Ok. I'll tell, I'll tell!"
Carly explained why they showed up and what they were looking for. She explained about Laura's sister.
Laura felt hurt and betrayed. She started cursing Carly out. This only lead to Carly firing back about warning Laura to listen and none of this would have happened.
Mr. E interrupted them and asked Carly to repeat the part about Laura's sister.
Mr. E lit up and went over to Carly and asked her to share a secret about Laura. He offered her freedom if and only if she were to tell him how to break Laura. He wanted to know her most tickish spot. Carly thought long and hard about it and decided to give it to him. Laura was also tickling under her toes.
"Fine, I'll let you go, but if you try and come back with cops you will get mech worse."
"As for you missy, I've got a surprise for you."
Mr. E said that he would return after letting Carly lose. He blind folded her and lead her out into the middle of the road so that she wouldn't know how to get back.
After 30 mins he returned and explained to Laura why he kept her. Truth is all the rumors of missing girls were true. In fact Laura's sister was still in the very same house.
"You are the most stubborn brat I've ever met!" "I intend to break you, just like I did to Lexi!"
Laura gasped... She had no idea just how sorry she was going to be. She should have listened to her friends. Mr E grabbed his cart and pulled out some powered toys to play around with Laura's toes.
Laughing and begging were all you could here, however, that's a story for another day.
