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Sayuri The Outlandish Exorcist (Story 2: part 1) F/FF (Feet)

sageoftruth

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Sayuri the Outlandish Exorcist
Story 2: Nine-Tailed Trouble

(part 1)

Day 1
Month of the Apprentice

The hero’s journey begins on a warm, tepid, sweltering and very toasty day. Warmly, the sun shines down upon reverent soil, illuminating the heroic mantle of our hero, Sayuri. Standing an imposing 4 ½ feet tall, with white skin the color of clouds, her heroic white cloak with bold cutaway shoulders billows in the wind, daring anyone who will challenge her to…

The quill in Emily’s hand came to an abrupt halt. She looked up from her parchment and sighed. This was not working at all. Back when she was a child she used to write countless made-up stories about her father’s feats of exorcism, so she figured chronicling the very real adventures of present day exorcist, even an offbeat one from the east, would be cake for her.

However, as she looked down at Sayuri, the diminutive eastern woman walking beside her, she did not see the hero from her old stories. Sayuri took a break from marveling at the western-style cottages and looked up at her. “I sense distress. Does something trouble you?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Emily dismissed. “Well, ok. I’m trying to find something positive to accentuate about you, the hero of my – er – our story.”

Sayuri squinted down at the grass and slowly voiced the words to herself. “Ack-sent-tate?”

Emily closed her eyes and shook her head. Talking to someone with Sayuri’s grasp of the Finian language still took getting used to. “I’m trying to write something good about you.”

“Oh!” Sayuri’s eyes lit up and she nodded her head. Then the squint returned. “You mean you cannot think of anything good to write about me?”

“No! I mean… Well…” Emily wracked her memory. Sayuri had undoubtedly impressed her at some point, but whenever she tried to think back on all that had transpired, all she remembered was being tied to a chair and having her fair feet tickled until they’d gone from fair to red, and she’d gone through every curse word her addled brain could think between bouts of laughter. “I’m just worried that the public won’t be able to see past your ‘unorthodox’ methods of exorcism.”

Sayuri balked. “But I don’t un-whatever you said. I just tickle people until the spirits possessing them go away. It’s perfect. It drives the spirits away, while we enjoy it.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “You mean YOU enjoy it. Anyone who follows the church will be up in arms if they hear about this, and we need them on our side if we want to eventually expose the church’s corruption.”

Suddenly, they heard a whistle coming from the path ahead of them. They both looked up and saw two men in chainmail. The shorter of the two tapped his buddy on the shoulder and pointed while hopping. “Hey, look! It’s the priestess from before!”

The larger man looked up from his cards and stared ahead. Sayuri waved back and he nodded. He then slapped his partner in the back of his helmeted head. “Has playing cards rotted your brain or something? She’s an exorcist, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Smiling, Sayuri ran up to them waving her hand. “It’s you two! I thought you were guarding the kingdom’s border.”

“Well, we’ve a new border to guard today,” the large one said with an air of importance.

“Yeah. The captain caught us playing cards on duty, so now we have to guard a village instead of a kingdom.”

This earned him a warning look from his larger companion. “That’s supposed to be private you fool!”

“Oh, and I suppose she’s gonna tell anyone?”

Emily was out of breath as she caught up. “By… the Father… Sayuri… don’t run off like that!” she scolded.

The smaller guard smiled. “Ah, lookit! The priestess has a new friend. Looks like a harlot.”

Emily’s slowly raised her head and eyed him with a cold stare. “Excuse me? What did you just call me?” The high priest of the church had called the her same thing prior to her excommunication from the church. Ever since then, she had regretted that she hadn’t socked him in his smug wrinkly face on the way out.

The short guard grinned, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he’d said anything wrong. Emily knew that trying to beat up an armed guard was suicide, but her fist was already clenched and ready to fly at a moment’s notice.

The guard scratched the side of his head. “Oh, sorry miss… Y-mean you’re not a harlot? Why’re you dressed like that then?”

Emily looked down at her habit, still shrunken thanks to a messy endeavor involving a lake, nibbling minnows and a poor sense of balance. In its current state, it had completely lost its function as an outfit of celibacy. It tightly hugged her body, showing off her figure, baring her midriff, and leaving her legs exposed from just a few inches above the knees all the way down to her sandaled feet. Her face reddened even deeper and there was a shudder in her voice. “Th…that’s a long story. Anyway, I’m not a harlot, I’m a nun, or I was one anyway.”

The guard’s eyes widened as something seemed to click on in his head. “Ahhh. Sorry miss. Your outfit just reminded me of Holy Betsy. She cost me half my salary, but she used to call me wicked and beat me with a switch.” His face sunk into a deep smile. “Good times.”

The larger guard grabbed him by the collar and tugged him back. “Is there no filter for that mouth of yours!?” He pushed his buddy behind him and turned towards Emily, who could not decide whether she wanted to run and hide in a bush or tackle the short fool to the ground and beat him unconscious. “Sorry about Fran over there. He’s a real piece of work. I’m Gaspar, and he’s…”

“Fran. I heard you before,” Emily replied as she felt her blood cool down.

Gaspar nodded. “So, where are you ladies headed?”

Emily shrugged. “Well, Sayuri here is looking for evil spirits to deal with. Since evil spirits have become a pretty common problem, I figured we’d just go any way and ask the first village we run into if they need an exorcist.”

Peeking out from behind Gaspar, Fran smiled. “Well you’ve got a good sense of direction then, because Enywey is right this way.” He motioned with his thumb towards a sign. “Enywey” was written on it in crude black letters.

“Well look at that,” Emily mused. “What a fine place to start.”

“Why is that?” Sayuri asked.

“Enywey is considered a ‘free’ area. The people there don’t believe in bowing to the will of the Holy Father, so the church has no presence there. That should make the people far more receptive to you.”

“That’s right, miss,” Gaspar nodded to the curious exorcist. “The church has been trying to change their minds about that for years. They even sent us here to make sure they get no freelance exorcists get trhough. That way they’ll need the church if they want to be free of spirits.”

Sayuri put her hand to her mouth. “How horrible! No wonder they dislike the church. Is there any trouble over there?”

Fran stroked the stubble on his chin. “We got a few reports about a dangerous beast running amok in the area. That’s all.”

Emily shrugged. “That’s a shame. If it was a spirit, you could do something, Sayuri, but I doubt you know how to handle beasts.”

Sayuri grinned. “Actually, I have been trained it dealing with magical beasts. We may as well see for ourselves if that is what awaits us.”

“Oh, well, all right then. Let’s be off.” Suddenly an errant thought stopped her in her tracks. “Wait a minute.” She turned to the two guards who watched them with weapons sheathed and arms by their sides. “Isn’t it your job to stop us from getting through?”

Gaspar snickered. “That’s the beauty of this task, miss. The church sent us to guard Enywey, but since Enywey is outside church jurisdiction, we don’t have the authority to stop you.”

“So, want to get back to our game of cards?” Fran offered.

“Yes, let’s,” Gaspar agreed. The two of them sat down on a pair of footstools and Fran began shuffling. “Good luck with the exorcism, miss,” he said, waving as they walked by.


* * *

Day 1
Month of the Apprentice

Sayuri’s boldness knows no bounds. Despite being warned of a dangerous beast, she ventures boldly into the free village of Enywey. Trees surround her on all sides, the path is obscured by roots, dirt, and grass, and dangerous animal sounds can be heard from all directions, possibly the beast she had been warned about.

However, she has never looked more sure of herself. With confidence, she places one foot in front of the other, shoulders upright, head forward, trusting her instincts to lead her to her destination.

“Are we lost?” Sayuri asked.

Emily looked up from her writing. “Huh?”

Sayuri gestured towards the ground with both hands. “I cannot see the path any longer.”

Sure enough, with all the foliage and grass covering the ground, it was hard to tell if there even was a path to follow at this point. “I guess we could retrace our steps and try to find the path again.”

They heard a rustle in the bushes nearby. Both of them stared but neither of them uttered a word, then Sayuri sucked in her breath. “Leave this to me. It might be the magical beast.”

Emily silenced her breathing and watched the bush, feeling concerned that the moment she looked away, the bushes would split open and an giant beast would jump out and devour her. “A…are you sure? Can you sense anything?”

Sayuri shook her head. “My special sense cannot help us with flesh and blood creatures, unfortunately. I shall have to rely on my eyes and ears for this intruder.”

Emily reached into her satchel and gripped her pendant of the Holy Father between her shaking hands. “Holy Father protect us… Holy Father protect us…” she murmured.

“SHH!!” Sayuri whispered. “We need to be quiet if I am to get a drop onto it.” She slipped her small white feet out of her wooden sandals and inched forward, parting the grass with her bare feet.

“You mean ‘get the drop on it’,” Emily corrected under her breath. Sayuri did not reply. Emily watched her venture forth with a sureness and confidence that hardly befit someone her size. Sayuri looked almost like a child from behind and Emily felt like a coward sitting back and watching her face this all by herself. What if it wasn’t a magical beast? Would Sayuri be able to handle it on her own? Before she could ponder any further, she had already left her sandals in the grass beside Sayuri’s and was following after her. Using long strides, she managed to catch up, but Sayuri’s hand shot out and stopped her in her tracks. With a slow wave, she motioned Emily over and pointed towards the bush.

She reached forward with a pale hand, her loose cutaway sleeve hanging well below her arm as she placed her hand on the nearest branch. As soon as her hand touched it, they heard a loud *crack* like a cord snapping sounded behind them, startling both of them.

They did not see the rope lying in wait around their collective ankles until it was too late. In an instant, it emerged from the grass and closed in on them. First their ankles tightly snapped together, then they snapped together into a sudden embrace. Emily screamed as her feet were swept out from under her and she entered freefall. She could hear Sayuri screaming beside her as well. When they came to a sudden stop, the ground loomed above her while the sky hung below her feet as the two of them dangled upside down from a high tree branch. Sayuri’s silk robe brushed against Emily’s legs, laid barer than usual by gravity. She felt additional pressure on her chest and looked down to find that Sayri’s head was nestled firmly against the underside of her bosom. She felt a light tickle as Sayuri struggled to shift her head to the side.

“Sayuri! S…stop it…!” Emily giggled.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Oooh. Look what I’ve caught,” a woman’s voice said, in what sounded like a strange cross between a seductive coo and an inhuman guttural growl. Emily felt herself lower slightly as a new weight dropped onto the branch supporting her ankles. She heard the branch creak with growing intensity as the owner of the sweet yet beastly voice walked over to them and settled down on the end of the branch.

Emily’s freckled foot began to twitch wildly as she felt a gentle fingernail stroke up her curved arch, across the ball of her foot, and then tease along the undersides of her curled toes before circling back down the other way. “No, no wahahahait! I cahahahahahan’t do tickling…” she protested. Their captor had long pointy nails, and Emily’s pleas drew an amused giggle from her. Soon a second fingernail join the first. The two fingers leap-frogged up her foot like a pair of legs, making her laugh even harder. She felt herself blush as the woman toyed with her and continued to make her feet squirm.

“Mmmmm… Such soft shapely feet,” the woman mused in her terrifying voice. “Tell me, were you pretty ladies hoping to use this trap on poor little me?”

“Nohohoho nohohohot at all! I - EEEAAAAAH!” she shrieked as the woman reached down with all ten of her fingers and spidered all over both of Emily’s reddening soles, causing her feet to flex and curly spastically. “NOHOHOHO STAHAHAHAAP! IT’S TRUE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Maybe so, maybe not, but that hardly matters. Now that I’ve had a taste of you, I can’t seem to stop myself from taking more.”

“DOHOHOHOHON’T EAT MEHEHEHEHE!” Emily pleaded.

“She won’t eat you,” Sayuri interjected. “She is a magical beast. They consume spiritual essence, not flesh.”

“Hmmm… You know me too well to be some lost villager. Who might you be?” the woman asked.

Sayuri folded her arms, and cocked her head, ignoring the extra squeal her hair elicited from Emily. “I am Sayrui of the Tooson Academy, an exorcist. If you know what is good for you, you will release us.”

Amidst her own peals of laughter, Emily heard some rustling in the leaves from her tickler’s direction, which was odd since both of the tickler’s hands were already busy with her feet. However, only moments later, Sayuri sharply inhaled and then burst out laughing. “Eeeeeeheeheehehe! Oh nohohohohoho! My feheheheheeet!” she laughed. She violently shook her head, whipping her long black hair across her face.

She was not the only one suffering from it. Every sharp turn of her head tickled against Emily’s solar plexus and underboob. “NGAAAAHAHAHAHA! THE HAHAHAHAAIR WATCH THE HAIR! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Emily screamed.

“Sohohohohorry I cahahahahahn’t! Hahahahaha!” Sayuri laughed back. The two of them hung in the midst of mutual hysteria. Emily could not tell what was tickling Sayuri bad enough to make her lose control like this, but she was laughing too hard herself to care.

As Emily squirmed in mid-air, with Sayuri’s head and body rubbing against her stomach and bosom, the beastly woman toying with her sensitive feet, and the ropes keeping her from moving her ankles, she felt a change that she’d come to know all too well. The pull of her tunic on her chest began to feel tighter, and her toes clenched even when the tickling was nowhere near the tops of her feet. No, this is not happening. I’m just imagining it, she told herself, but her body strongly begged to differ. She felt a heavy pulse run through the most sensitive parts of her. Holy Father, help me. Guide me away from sin, she frantically prayed in her head.

Suddenly, an arrow flew out of nowhere and embedded itself in the tree branch where they hung. Their captor released an irritated growl. “I could do this all day, my sensitive flowers, but it looks like it’s time for me to take off. So long!” The branch bent one last time as she leapt off it and disappeared into the trees.

Emily craned her neck and stared straight below her towards the forest floor. A broad-shouldered man in a plain tunic waved up to her. “That’s quite a situation you’ve gotten yourself into,” he said.

“Indeed,” she replied, sounding more irritable than she’d intended, as she wrestled with the persistent lust her captor had left her from the experience. She took a breath and tried to focus on the matter at hand. “Can you get us down?”

The man grinned. Pulling out a hunting knife he wandered over to the end of the rope that held the two ladies by the ankles. It was tightly wound around a large rock which had to be the counterweight holding them up. Emily knew what was coming and closed her eyes. First came the loud snap, then the fall. She screamed for a second or two before coming to a sudden stop in the arms of her rescuer. “Caught you,” he said with a grin.

Sayuri pulled her ankles free from the knotted rope, jumped out of the man’s arms and dusted herself off, but time had briefly stopped for Emily. She looked up at the man holding her. His red tunic cut away just below the neck revealing a broad chest with bits of blonde hair. Further up, he sported a slick goatee that ended in a distinguished beard at the very tip of his chin. Emily felt like she was being held by the hero from the stories she used to write as a child. “That was…kind of dangerous wasn’t it?” she asked meekly as she tried to keep her tone casual.

The man laughed and shrugged. “Nah, it wasn’t that far of a drop really. It can seem that way from up there I’m sure. The grass probably would’ve cushioned your fall more than my arms. Too bad I didn’t drop you huh?”

Emily giggled and smiled up at him, doing her best to ignore the fact that her face was red enough to blend in with his tunic. “No, I wouldn’t say so,” she replied. Was this all a dream? It certainly felt that way to her, drunk on lust as she was. Her dashing rescuer set her back down, abruptly returning her to reality as her feet touched the grass.

The ground felt cool beneath her feet, far cooler than the strong, warm arms that held her mere moments ago. She tried to look at him, but her body clearly had not forgotten what it was feeling moments before her fall. She could not meet his gaze without feeling weak in the knees. She forced herself to look down at the grass. This is no way for a nun to behave! she told herself. You are a grown woman, not some naïve little girl!

She felt a presence and saw Sayuri standing beside her. “Is everything all right?” she asked. “You look troubled.”

Yes, I’m troubled you idiot! All because of you! she wanted to say. Why did Sayuri have to provoke that beastly woman? Emily already knew the answer to that. “Did you enjoy the tickling she gave you?” she hissed. “That’s why you provoked her isn’t it? You saw what I was going through and had to have some of it for yourself.”

“Some for… myself?” Sayuri shook her head as she tried to piece together what Emily was trying to say. “You must be tired. We need to rest.” She turned to the hunky man who stood beside them, cleaning his nails with the point of his knife. “Sir, are you from Enywey?”

“I am,” he replied. “Is that where you two are headed?” Sayuri nodded. “Well then, come along with me. I was trying to hunt the beast, but it looks like she got away again, so I might as well lead you two back.”

“Thank you kind sir,” Sayuri said, bowing. She then grabbed Emily by the wrist. “Come on Emily, let us be hasty.”

“You mean, let’s ‘make haste,’” Emily corrected in a tired tone.


* * *
Day 1, Month of the Apprentice

Together, we narrowly escaped a run-in with the beast. Despite lying vulnerably within her clutches, Sayuri faced the beast without fear. Courageous, defiant and brave to the end, she would have been devoured if not for the intervention of another brave hero.

A man whose charming whimsical smile easily sets my would set any woman’s heart a flutter, has begun to lead us to Enywey.

Together the three of them wandered along the path. Emily was too tongue-tied to say anything, or look up from her parchment, so Sayuri handled the introductions. “Sayuri? That’s a funny name,” the man commented. “Anyway, I’m Harold. I’m the village elder of Enywey.”

Sayuri started at him. “Should you really be facing magical beasts by yourself when you have a village to run?”

Harold dismissed the question with a wave. “Ah, nonsense. I’ve left the place in very capable hands. Besides, what better way is there to serve my town than to single-handedly rid us of that troublesome beast. She’s been terrorizing the woods for the past month, and preventing us from getting any visitors. Thanks to her, we’ve been cut off from all cities outside.”

Harold looked back at the rope he’d severed earlier and shook his head. “…And it looks like she even knows her way around my traps. She’s smarter than I realized.” Up ahead, numerous rays of sunlight penetrated the trees. “And here we are. You two go ahead. I need to take care of some business.”

Sayuri waved. “Thanks again, Harold!”

Emily felt a weight lift from her as soon as he was gone. Once again, she was free to let her shoulders slump, scratch any itches, and do anything else that compromised her ladylike image. “Thanks, Sayuri. I’m sorry for snapping at you. You were right. I just need some rest.”

The nest of trees faded ahead, revealing a wide-open field populated with numerous wooden cabins, vendor’s stalls and other venues. Unlike other towns she’d been to, there were no roads, or any structure to how the buildings were laid out. It looked like people had just wandered in and started building wherever they saw fit.

Although the town appeared to be the picture of “Live and let live” freedom, their approach did not go unnoticed. As Emily and Sayuri stepped out of the forest and into the clearing, a girl stood before them. She was only slightly taller than Sayuri but the roundness of her face suggested she had just entered adulthood not long ago. She wore a plain blue dress with a long skirt and planted herself in the grass, eyeing the two ladies with a stern gaze as they approached. She puffed up her chest as they drew near. “What business do you two have here today?” she asked without any introduction.

Sayuri began to speak, but Emily stopped her. “Leave this to me,” she whispered. “I’d like to avoid causing any more conflicts. Don’t say anything until I tell you it’s okay to speak.” She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “Greetings, noble official. Word has reached us that you are struggling with a magical beast.” With a mild flourish, she gestured towards Sayuri. “Standing beside me is a skilled exorcist who should be able to solve all of your problems.”

The girl wrinkled her nose as she stared up at Sayuri, and then she grimaced. “We have no need for exorcists.” She put her fingers to her lips and whistled. A handful of men in equally plain tunics came running. One held a pitchfork, and another held a sickle. The man with the pitchfork turned it in the air and skewered it into the ground beside him, while the man with the sickle swung it to his side and hacked off the head of a nearby scarecrow. “Also, exorcists are not welcome here. If you’re an exorcist, and you made it past the guards, then we clearly have no use for you.”

Sayuri looked at Emily with concern, but Emily was feeling something very different from concern. She was too tired to be taking lip from someone ten years her junior. She put her hands on her hips and leaned forward to emphasize the height difference between then. “Now, look here, girl. I know it must be exciting to have a big important position like this, but just because you’ve got the village working for you doesn’t mean you can rule it like a queen.”

Emily smiled at the look of outrage on the girl’s face. “I heard this village has a beast, and yet here you are, sending us away just because you don’t like us?” Sayuri began tugging at Emily’s sleeve, but she gently pushed her away and continued her lecture. “If you think ruling a village is all about telling people what to do and kicking out anybody you don’t like, then you’re better off giving the position back to your father, who’s probably the only reason you got this position in this first place.”

The girl stared back with an unchanging expression, but Emily saw her foot shift a few inches backward in the grass. Eventually, her face contorted into a frown, but then began lightening into an accepting nod. “I guess something can be arranged,” she said. “Follow me.” She turned on her heels and motioned for them to follow.

Emily grinned and nudged Sayuri. “See? Sometimes kids or even young adults like her just need to be shown when they’re being out of line.”

Sayuri stared at her, either feeling shocked by Emily’s attitude, or more likely wondering what “out of line” meant, but she kept her mouth shut as ordered and the two of them followed the girl through the scattering of cabins and stalls. Eventually, they came to an open area with nothing in it except grass and a set of wooden stocks.

The sight of this contraption stopped Emily and Sayuri in their tracks, but the two strong villagers behind them nudged them forward. Out-muscled and unarmed, the two ladies allowed themselves to be escorted forward. “Looks like we have no choice but to talk our way out of this,” Emily whispered. “Don’t worry. I can handle this.” Sayuri stared at her with an annoyed look but complied.

“Okay. Both of you, kneel,” the girl ordered, gesturing towards the stocks.

“We’re not your knights,” Emily said.

The girl stiffened from the retort but kept her tone neutral. “There is a reason for this,” she said. “Just do as I ask for now.”

Before they could respond, the villagers grabbed them by their shoulders, shoved them forward and forced into a kneeling position over the stocks. The wooden bar was locked into place over their ankles and their sandals were removed. The proximity of the holes left Emily’s feet tightly pressed together forming a valley with her insteps. She did not know what to expect, but in this position, a feather or a hand, or even a hot coal could easily tantalize both feet at once. “Th…this really isn’t necessary,” Emily tried to argue.

The girl rolled her eyes. “That’s what they all say, but I know how you outsiders work. You come over here to us humble villagers, with your empty promises, double-speak, and honeyed words, and then make us look like fools. It’s a shame I have to resort to this, but it often keeps our visitors more honest.” Emily twitched as something wet was splashed on her feet.

The girl looked up at Sayuri who looked back with a confused expression. “You’ve been quiet this whole time.” She snapped her fingers and Emily heard slow, heavy hoof beats in the grass, followed by an apathetic *moo*. Sayuri’s face betrayed no fear, but she was definitely feeling something. The next moment her eyes shot wide open and a single twitch reverberated through her 4 ft. body. In seconds, she went from silent to loudly hysterical. She fell forward, onto her hands laughing into the ground, then threw back her head, uprooting clumps of grass with her hands, and bellowed towards the sky.

Emily could not blame her. Back when she was a child, Emily had learned a valuable lesson: She absolutely hated getting her feet licked. She had a particularly amoral circle of friends who loved having fun at her expense, and after an agonizing day in her friend’s barn with a particularly “friendly” goat, she’d promised she would never to let an animal’s tongue near her feet again.

The older, more cynical Emily had done a fine job of living up to that promise, but after 15 years, it looked like history was about to repeat itself. Emily recoiled as the girl’s eyes fell on her. In just a few seconds, this insolent girl had become terrifying in her eyes. “You look worried,” she said.

“W…worried? No, I’ll manage,” Emily said through trembling lips. “Still, I promise to be good. You can trust me, I swear!”

The girl sighed and shook her head. “See? This is the kind of insincerity I was talking about.”

“Wait! I’m sorry!” Emily shouted as the girl raised her hand, but it was too late. She snapped her fingers, and Emily saw her 15 year-old self, seated back in the barn with her bare feet trapped in the wooden fence. The goat, Friendly Freddie, was back for more fun.

Fear engulfed her the moment the tongue made first contact. Its rough wet surface pressed against the balls both feet at once and ran up their insteps. She scrunched her toes and shook her head as it continued up her arches to her heels. “NOHOHOHOHOHOHO! GAHAHAHAHAHWD NOOOOOOHOHOHAHAHAHHA!” she cried, shaking her head in the vain hope that stubborn defiance of reality could make it all go away. She only had a split second to relax before the tongue had returned to the balls of her feet for another go.

As Emily struggled to cope and remain sane, the girl grinned, either from some perverse pleasure, or the simple joy of getting back at this insolent nun for her patronizing words. “Now tell me, who sent you here? Who do you work for?”

Her questions went mostly unheard and were quickly discarded by Emily as concerns to be dealt with once she’d taken care of the more immediate problem she was wrestling with. She glanced at her tormentor with pleading eyes. Surely this young adult had to have some semblance of pity within her. Did she want an apology? Several apologies? What would make this torment stop?

The girl watched and waited. When Emily did not respond, she grimaced and shook her head. “Are you listening to me at all? I asked you, who do you work for?”

“PLEHEHEASE! NOHOHOHO FRIENDLY FREHEHEHEHDIE! HAHAHAH! I’LL DO ANYTHING!” Emily pleaded, as she wondered why her captor was grimacing and more importantly, why she was still letting them suffer like this.

The girl shook her head. “Who is Friendly Freddie? Is he the one who hired you? Emily continued to scream, laugh, and beg, but she did not answer the question. “Just how ticklish are you?” she murmured under her breath. Sighing, the she pointed towards Emily and snapped her fingers. Emily let out an oxygen-starved gasp as the cow was led away from her. The girl waited gave her a few seconds to catch her breath. “I’ll give you one more chance to be honest with me. Answer my question.”

Emily felt like she’d just woken up from a horrible nightmare. Sayuri’s continued wailing sent shivers down her spine as she tried to process what the girl had said. “Wh…what do I…?”

“Who hired you?”

“No one,” Emily replied.

“So, you don’t work for the church?”

“No.” These were simple enough question, even for her in her current state.

“Then how did you get past the guards?”

Emily paused. That answer required more words than she could process at the moment. “They j…just…” Her voice drifted off. The girl gestured towards Emily with her head and a guard ran a finger over her foot. “THEYJUSTLETUSGO!” she blurted in one terrified breath.

The girl stared at her and shook her head. “You’re a crafty one. You look too far gone to be lying, and yet every idiot in this village knows the guards have been ordered not to let anyone through here without the church’s permission.” She snapped her fingers twice and two cows were led to Emily. “Feel free to plead your case at any time,” she said.

With two cows hungrily lapping up their slop from her feet, Emily was in no condition to plead her case, but she was in every condition to plead. “PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHASE! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE! PLEHEHEHEAHAHAHAA!” she begged, no longer caring that she was begging to a girl ten years her junior. She couldn’t stop herself. She didn’t dare stop. Hoping to get through to her captor with this one repeated word was all she had left.

Crowds had gathered around her and Sayuri and cheered as the two of them fought this very one-sided fight against their own minds and bodies. Emily struggled to shift her feet away from the two broad tongues that lapped up and down her insteps, arches, sides and toes, but her brain could only handle one tongue at a time and gave up after a very short struggle.

Amidst her frantic screaming she noticed a rattling in the bushes nearby. Their captor did as well and a look of mild dread appeared on her eyes. “No! Why now of all times?” she asked herself as she slowly backed away from the rattling bush.

The bushes parted and Harold emerged from them, hands high over his head as if he were a monster coming to attack. “MAAAARY! MY DARLING!” he shouted.

The girl slowly backed away and held out her hand in protest. “No, not now! Not in front of everyone!” However, Harold did not listen. He ran straight at her, scooped her up in his arms, and fell to the ground, pinning her beneath him. He reached down and tickled her sides with his hands. “How’s my baby doing running the town?” he teased.

She squirmed and kicked her legs, knocking over a flower pot with her foot. “Dahahahaadd, nohohohohot now! Everyone’s watching! Hahahahaha!”

Harold got up, grinning to himself and Mary shot him a very annoyed look as she pushed herself to her feet. She straightened her dress, wiped off the dirt and tried her best to look dignified, but it was too late. Everyone in attendance was grinning, snickering, or flashing a knowing smile, and she had been demoted back to being “Harold’s Daughter”.

Everyone swarmed around Harold with questions about the hunt. “Did ya get her?”, “How was the hunt?”, “Are you injured anywhere?” Harold put up his callused hands and motioned for them to back away. “Later everyone. First, let’s see to these two.” Now under Harold’s command the two buff villagers led the cows back to their pens. Both Emily and Sayuri sighed and hunched over grass in front of them.

Hector gave them time to collect themselves and turned to answer the flurry of questions being asked about him and the beast. “I’m fine everyone, but I’ve got nothing to show for the hunt sadly. It seems like our beast knows my traps better than I’d thought.” He then gestured towards Sayuri and Emily. “She even used one of them to trap these two.”

He then walked up to them. “Speaking of which…” He looked down at them, grinned sheepishly and shook his head. “Well, out of one mess and into another eh? Sorry about that.”

Emily looked up into his big grin and blushed. It felt like the incident in the tree all over again. Then, as she remembered her recent humiliating display, she covered her face with her hands, wishing she could disappear from everyone’s gaze. As she began thinking about how she must have looked, she felt tears coming.

“There there,” Harold comforted, patting her back. “No need to be so embarrassed. Anyone would have acted like that in your position.” He stroked his beard and sighed. “I’m really sorry. Ever since the church’s blockade, we’ve been more suspicious of outsiders. My daughter can be a bit overprotective of the village at times.”

His expression then hardened slightly. “Still, if you guys are from the church, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. If you can’t prove otherwise, then I’m still gonna have to ask you to leave.” There was a hint of apology in his tone, but his eyes showed that he was not going to budge on this. “So, are you?”

Emily tried to speak, but all that came out was an embarrassed whimper.

“Emily, may I speak now?” Sayuri asked. Seeing no better option, she nodded.

The villagers listened with interest as Sayuri gaze them the run-down of all the events leading up to their current situation. They all nodded to each other when she was finished. However, Mary did not look satisfied. “That’s a very well-told story, erm, Sayuni?”

“Sayuri.”

“Yes, Sayuri. Still all we have is your word on this.”

Emily was still red in the face, embarrassed to be seen by anyone, and thanks to her recent ordeal, also uncomfortably horny, but she could not let this stand. “Now, listen here!” She gestured towards Sayuri. “Does she look like someone who works for the church?”

After one glance at Sayuri’s inquisitive slanted eyes, eerily white skin, and foreign clothes, everyone was in agreement. No one bothered to check Sayuri’s possessions, or even waste their time with a second look. She just stood out that much, and the church was an exclusive organization. Even Mary’s attempts at impartial skepticism crumbled beneath this argument.

Mary shrugged and smiled. “My apologies. After all the unwanted visits we’ve gotten from the church, I should probably have noticed that right away.” Her face softened into a smile, and all pretense of being the stern adult vanished. “In that case, welcome! If you’re here to help us with the beast, then make yourselves at home.”

Emily was not impressed. “Is that all you have to say after-?”

“Then it’s settled,” Harold chimed in. “Leave the arrangements to me. Lodging is on the house.” On his command, the stocks were unlocked and the latch was lifted. Emily and Sayuri rubbed their ankles as they settled their feet back into their sandals. Humming to himself, Harold led them to a large wooden cabin in the middle of the square. Although it had the simple wooden design of a cabin, it looked like eight cabins had been stacked together and fused into one. A large wooden sign hung above the front door with the words “Jospeh’s Inn” carved into it.
 
Hey. Congrats on your latest story! So, small technical writer stuff first (since you requested that, haha). You might want to look up the difference between hyphens and dashes. There are plenty of times you used hyphens when you meant dashes. Basically hyphen is for connecting two words than act as one, e.g. 'the well-dressed man', but dashes can be used to function as semi-colons/brackets. Dashes are super flexible in terms of grammatical use, so it's worth learning how to use them correctly.

Another grammar issue is you need commas before nouns used as names. I think you know that applies for names. "Can I help you, John?" but it also applies for nouns used as names. E.g. "Don't say anything, you fool," "I like you, baby," or "sorry, sir." So you need commas before every 'miss' (and after, if the dialogue continues). You also need commas for question tags, like 'isn't it?'

Another small thing is that many amateur writers are afraid of the word 'said'. You don't need to use interjected, pleaded, chimed in, etc. You can just say said! Most of the time, the dialogue makes it clear that it's a plea, interjection, etc. You can deviate from the standard said occasionally, but there's no need to be using different speaking verbs every time.

I like your opening because of how you can play a bit with genre with the whole 'writing a story' thing, though I'm less fond of some of your more common phrasings: it's like 'cake', trying to fight the guards would be 'suicide', 'up in arms'. You should strive for more unique phrasings instead of the more generic.

Show and tell in dialogue--whenever you use the phrase 'said with...' it's usually akin to using an adverb in dialogue. For example, when you wrote 'the guard said with an air of importance', you're essentially saying 'he said importantly/arrogantly/haughtily.' It doesn't help the reader visualise it. You're just telling us. Why not explain how the guard spoke in a slow drawl, as if he were speaking to a child or someone who was mental deficit? Or he spoke with his head raised high and without looking directly at them? When someone is being an arrogant SOB, there's always plenty of physical symptoms, haha.

Finally we get to the tickling! The foot details are fun in the first scene, though I felt a bit ambivalent overall, as it felt a bit disjointed.

The second 'scene' with the arrogant Mary girl was interesting, but small foot thing--the insteps are not the arches. It's a remarkably common thing, and I've stopped using that phrase in my stories just because I'm certain people get them mixed up. The insteps are the tops of the feet. Imagine a girl wearing flats. The insteps would be the only bare skin you would see. So if the girls were kneeling, you most certainly would not see their insteps.

The cow licking thing was interesting, especially as goats are the more standard animal of choice. I wonder if cows have the right tongues to tickle, though, haha. But, WHY is the cow licking her feet? Was it trained? For goats, you need to put on some sticky salty treats to make them lap it off.

Regarding the tickling, I think I recognise a general problem. Your scenes have Sayuri and Emily tickled together, which means sometimes what's happening to them can sort of jumble together. A way around this may be for each lee to be tickled in drastically different ways (one upperbody, one feet, or using tools, etc, etc). Or, you could try to focus on one of them at a time instead of rapidly jumping back and forth.

Mary is really cute though. I hope to see more of her. She's my new favourite character, haha.

I'm still intrigued by the world-building of your story though, particularly with the church. I wonder if there will be some diabolical inquisition coming soon? I think that's all for now. I'll post more comments on the other parts later.
 
Hoo boy. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me.

I was wondering why some of my scenes didn't feel any better without the adverbs. Looks like I was just skirting around them without making the scene more visual. I may need to learn a bit more about how to express through visual cues, or just how to put certain visual cues in to words. Perhaps there's a class for that, or just a website.

Thanks again for all the advice.
 
Don't worry about it! Wait for a few other opinions on things. I'm far from the omnipotent authority on tickle writing.

But regarding visual cues, I think you're missing the point slightly. It doesn't have to even be visual. It's just about using the senses to describe more instead of telling us. Let me give an example with the two guards. In fact, even using the descriptor guards is a sort of tell. Are they wearing surcoats? Are there sigils on their cloaks? Do they have banners? Are they wearing dinted armour? Boiled leather? Rusted chainmail? Helmets? Do they have an unwashed smell? Do they stink of booze? Are they unshaven? Do they have crooked yellow teeth? Poxmarks? Dirty fingernails? You can show they are gamblers from the stacks of coins and cards they are playing instead of patrolling. If they are sitting on the floor, guffawing and drinking, with their weapons and helmets and shields discarded on the floor at the gate, that paints the picture of lazy guardsmen much better than the phrase 'they looked like lazy guards'.

Obviously, the guards may not be important enough for you to commit several hundred words worth of description for, but you get the idea. And even if they are the minorest of minor characters, you can spare them a few sentences to help the reader picture them.
 
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