Kittlars m/f
A Scandinavian tribe leaving in the north-eastern areas of the Baltic Sea. Known from their ferocity and also from strange religious beliefs, in which the tickling of females played the significant role.
In Kittlars’ times on their altars night and day there were pretty, sensitive “temple maids” tickle tortured to amuse and entertain the gods. Usually there were captives from various raids, slave girls or peasant girls sold into slavery from poverty. During the big celebrations they were replaced by wives, sisters and daughters of nobles. A laughter of a tickled woman was considered to be a sacrifice and accompanied everything important things that happened in a family or a household. The obligatory element of every feast and party were several slave girls in stocks who were free to tickle by every guest. A ticklish slave woman was a customary gift for a boy who reached the adulthood.
Kittlars believed, that sea storms are caused by laughter and writhing of a sea goddess Ran, tickle tortured by her husband, Eker. To distract Eker attention from his wife on every Kittlar longship there was a X-cross on the bow, where a woman was tied and tickle tortured. Such a “shift” usually lasted for an hour, then the victim was replaced by a fresh one. That’s why on every longboat there were five to ten involuntary passengers - pretty and ticklish women called Ran’s daughters - who were tickled constantly during the whole voyage to ensure a good weather.
That strange rites were practiced by Kittlars also during war parties, ruthlessly tickling all their female captives. The most famous was the sacking of Rangeta, when the raiders tickled three thousands Rangetan females for several hours, before sailing away with five hundred the most beautiful and the most ticklish.
Also Kittlars myths and legends are full of tickled females. The most famous of the heroines is a legendary princess Trude White Armpit. When her father’s castle was attacked by pirates, only one longship managed to escape. It was pursuited by several pirate ships and the closest safe harbour was two days away. The only woman on board was Trude and to ensure a good weather she agreed to be tickled the whole journey.
Myths are full of supernatural creatures - dwarves, giants, trolls - who just love to tickle mortal women.
Gudrun was sold by her own brother to the dwarves for a magic armor. Dwarves stretched her on a rack and tickled her to use her laughter to enchant weapon and armors they forged in their caverns. It’s said that to this day you can hear her laughter and pleads in the wind blowing among the Kittland peaks.
A great hero, Bert Silver Hammer left his own wife, Anja Golden Foot, as a toll for a troll who didn't want to let him pass the bridge. For two years the troll kept Anja in his lair every day tickling her feet with a magic feather. Only after those time Bert gained the Silver Hammer and freed his spouse.
Also the afterlife of Kittlar women was full of laughter. The bravest became Kittlarias - the maiden warrioress who collected the souls of fallen heroes and guided them to Valhalla. The Kittlarias could be tickled only by the gods and during the greatest celebrations.
The most beautiful, pious and ticklish women were assisting the heroes in Valhalla. At nights they were tickled during feasts and at nights they were allowed to see great battles conducted by dead preparing for the Last Battle - Ragnarok.
The sinners were given into slavery to monsters, like giants and trolls and were tickled endlessly.
The scholars are arguing where that kind of strange beliefs came from. One of the hypothesis is that it comes from the genetic anomaly discovered among Kittlars. 99% of female population is ticklish with only 2% of the male ones. Such unusula proportions could lead to connect ticklishness with feminine element. And myths and legends tend to mirror and explain the reality they became full of ticklish goddesses and heroines. Then the religious rites tend to recreate the supernatural so the act of tickling a woman became a ritual connecting this and other world.
The other hypothesis claims that those rites replaced the earlier human sacrifice of young women. It’s based on the discovery of so called Bromvik Runestone. It it it’s carved the story of Ragnar and Ulve. Composed in high poetic language, used by skalds, so I do not cite it word by word. In simplified form it goes like this:
When the great drought came the priests announced that the gods demand a virgin sacrifice. The draw decided for Ulve, the eldest jarl’s son’s fiancee. Ragnar was going mad with grief, but didn’t dare to resist openly against the gods. During the sacrifice day he was standing among the holy forest trees and watched helplessly as his beloved was strapped to the sacrifice stone. As he didn’t want to watch the death blow he turned his back. Suddenly he saw, unseen by others, a rain cloud coming from over the horizon. At first he just wanted to show it to the others and claim that the sacrifice is no longer needed. But he thought it would save Ulva now, but wouldn’t protect her next time. He thought what kind of sacrifice would please the gods without being a mortal one. Then he remembered like many years ago he found Ulve tied to the tree and tickled by two boys. When he chased them away and untied her he said “Any more and I would die!” A crazy idea came to his mind. He run into the clearing shouting “Stop! Stop! The gods told me what to do!” Astonished priests stopped the ritual. Ragnar walked proudly to the girl and without hesitation started tickling her armpits.
Despite her fear she started laughing and wiggling in her bonds. Her laughter seemed to mesmerize the onlookers. No one dared to stop Ragnar. Ruthless tickling lasted for several minutes, with Ragnar trying all the sensitive spots.. Ulve laughed and laughed, claiming she’d rather die than endure it any more. The spectators were watching in astonishment, when the first thunder rang in the air.
Even then the youth didn’t stop. On the contarry, he tickled the best he could, till the downpour rained on the whole scene, soaking everyone with life bringing water. Only then Ragnar stopped the tickling, cut the girls bonds and carried her to her father’s hut.
The theory claims, that the priests saw the potential of the new sacrifice. It could be used more often, more common and without wasting the subject. As we already know, most of the female population was ticklish, so this form of sacrifice was very easy to apply and soon became common not only in temples, but also in home liturgy.
A Scandinavian tribe leaving in the north-eastern areas of the Baltic Sea. Known from their ferocity and also from strange religious beliefs, in which the tickling of females played the significant role.
In Kittlars’ times on their altars night and day there were pretty, sensitive “temple maids” tickle tortured to amuse and entertain the gods. Usually there were captives from various raids, slave girls or peasant girls sold into slavery from poverty. During the big celebrations they were replaced by wives, sisters and daughters of nobles. A laughter of a tickled woman was considered to be a sacrifice and accompanied everything important things that happened in a family or a household. The obligatory element of every feast and party were several slave girls in stocks who were free to tickle by every guest. A ticklish slave woman was a customary gift for a boy who reached the adulthood.
Kittlars believed, that sea storms are caused by laughter and writhing of a sea goddess Ran, tickle tortured by her husband, Eker. To distract Eker attention from his wife on every Kittlar longship there was a X-cross on the bow, where a woman was tied and tickle tortured. Such a “shift” usually lasted for an hour, then the victim was replaced by a fresh one. That’s why on every longboat there were five to ten involuntary passengers - pretty and ticklish women called Ran’s daughters - who were tickled constantly during the whole voyage to ensure a good weather.
That strange rites were practiced by Kittlars also during war parties, ruthlessly tickling all their female captives. The most famous was the sacking of Rangeta, when the raiders tickled three thousands Rangetan females for several hours, before sailing away with five hundred the most beautiful and the most ticklish.
Also Kittlars myths and legends are full of tickled females. The most famous of the heroines is a legendary princess Trude White Armpit. When her father’s castle was attacked by pirates, only one longship managed to escape. It was pursuited by several pirate ships and the closest safe harbour was two days away. The only woman on board was Trude and to ensure a good weather she agreed to be tickled the whole journey.
Myths are full of supernatural creatures - dwarves, giants, trolls - who just love to tickle mortal women.
Gudrun was sold by her own brother to the dwarves for a magic armor. Dwarves stretched her on a rack and tickled her to use her laughter to enchant weapon and armors they forged in their caverns. It’s said that to this day you can hear her laughter and pleads in the wind blowing among the Kittland peaks.
A great hero, Bert Silver Hammer left his own wife, Anja Golden Foot, as a toll for a troll who didn't want to let him pass the bridge. For two years the troll kept Anja in his lair every day tickling her feet with a magic feather. Only after those time Bert gained the Silver Hammer and freed his spouse.
Also the afterlife of Kittlar women was full of laughter. The bravest became Kittlarias - the maiden warrioress who collected the souls of fallen heroes and guided them to Valhalla. The Kittlarias could be tickled only by the gods and during the greatest celebrations.
The most beautiful, pious and ticklish women were assisting the heroes in Valhalla. At nights they were tickled during feasts and at nights they were allowed to see great battles conducted by dead preparing for the Last Battle - Ragnarok.
The sinners were given into slavery to monsters, like giants and trolls and were tickled endlessly.
The scholars are arguing where that kind of strange beliefs came from. One of the hypothesis is that it comes from the genetic anomaly discovered among Kittlars. 99% of female population is ticklish with only 2% of the male ones. Such unusula proportions could lead to connect ticklishness with feminine element. And myths and legends tend to mirror and explain the reality they became full of ticklish goddesses and heroines. Then the religious rites tend to recreate the supernatural so the act of tickling a woman became a ritual connecting this and other world.
The other hypothesis claims that those rites replaced the earlier human sacrifice of young women. It’s based on the discovery of so called Bromvik Runestone. It it it’s carved the story of Ragnar and Ulve. Composed in high poetic language, used by skalds, so I do not cite it word by word. In simplified form it goes like this:
When the great drought came the priests announced that the gods demand a virgin sacrifice. The draw decided for Ulve, the eldest jarl’s son’s fiancee. Ragnar was going mad with grief, but didn’t dare to resist openly against the gods. During the sacrifice day he was standing among the holy forest trees and watched helplessly as his beloved was strapped to the sacrifice stone. As he didn’t want to watch the death blow he turned his back. Suddenly he saw, unseen by others, a rain cloud coming from over the horizon. At first he just wanted to show it to the others and claim that the sacrifice is no longer needed. But he thought it would save Ulva now, but wouldn’t protect her next time. He thought what kind of sacrifice would please the gods without being a mortal one. Then he remembered like many years ago he found Ulve tied to the tree and tickled by two boys. When he chased them away and untied her he said “Any more and I would die!” A crazy idea came to his mind. He run into the clearing shouting “Stop! Stop! The gods told me what to do!” Astonished priests stopped the ritual. Ragnar walked proudly to the girl and without hesitation started tickling her armpits.
Despite her fear she started laughing and wiggling in her bonds. Her laughter seemed to mesmerize the onlookers. No one dared to stop Ragnar. Ruthless tickling lasted for several minutes, with Ragnar trying all the sensitive spots.. Ulve laughed and laughed, claiming she’d rather die than endure it any more. The spectators were watching in astonishment, when the first thunder rang in the air.
Even then the youth didn’t stop. On the contarry, he tickled the best he could, till the downpour rained on the whole scene, soaking everyone with life bringing water. Only then Ragnar stopped the tickling, cut the girls bonds and carried her to her father’s hut.
The theory claims, that the priests saw the potential of the new sacrifice. It could be used more often, more common and without wasting the subject. As we already know, most of the female population was ticklish, so this form of sacrifice was very easy to apply and soon became common not only in temples, but also in home liturgy.
