FEMALES ONLY Negative encounters & what a female-friendly TMF would look like to you

FEMALES ONLY Negative encounters & what a female-friendly TMF would look like to you

FEMALES ONLY

Recently, a conversation in chat came up that made me think of some of the crazy things that have happened to me as a female in this community. I'll share some of them later, but I'd be interested in hearing others stories as well.

What's the worst thing you've seen / experienced as a female on this site? What do you think can be done to remedy it? What would a female-friendly TMF (or a potential female-friendly separate tickle forum) look like to you?

Wow. Amazing topic. In the interest of brevity, and covering a lot of ground in few words (at least to start) I'll just make a few bullet points. I'll limit it just to points that I have thought of based on actual experiences on this forum.

1) Women are people, and as such, complex, with many tastes, styles and interests. Women do not ALL wear skirts, dresses, ridiculously high heels, or have a figure they are comfortable with in a tiny bikini... even the ones who are in shape. If a woman in chat says something to you like, "I don't like nylons" or "I don't wear dresses", one of the most insulting things you can do, in most cases, is start screaming in the main room that she is a dude. Women do not owe you anything, and do not have to live their lives according to your expectations of femininity. Yes, yes, I know... OMG catfishing and all that nonsense... So let me state it again: nobody on this forum, male, female, or otherwise, owes you anything. If you don't like that a given girl won't wear heels, and suspect in your mind that this makes her a guy, and that continuing to talk to her would obviously make you somehow gay... big hint: stop talking to her. Leave her alone. It is a viable option. Nobody needs you to police what a real woman is.

2) If a person with a feminine screenname logs in to chat, and does not reply to you the nanosecond you PM her, continually saying "are you there??? hey are you there?!??!??! omg how rude" will not cause her to get through the 15 other unsolicited PMs she has likely just gotten any faster. However, this generally does make it easier to consider which windows to respond to when she gets to them. (In case you were wondering, -probably- not yours.) If you found it absolutely impossible to resist the urge to PM a person you haven't talked to before she could even set her chat icon and color, you can likely safely assume you are not the -only- person to do this.

3) If you start an unsolicited conversation with somebody, and you start out asking invasive or tiresome questions, especially without providing any information about yourself, it is not in your best interest to get rude, angry, or butthurt when she stops replying to you. Starting a conversation by saying hello, and mentioning something interesting she said in a post, in her profile, or in the chatroom, goes a long way toward making it seem as though your interest in talking to her was not solely because she was female.

4) Women have opinions, preferences, and are likely here because of their own paraphilias and fetishes. They are not here to help you satisfy your own interests when it is not an interest that is shared. If she says she is not interested in RP at the moment, that is not an invitation to you to begin one anyway. If she says she doesn't like feet, that means she doesn't want to talk about her feet, your feet, your wife's feet, her sister's feet, or the size, shape, nail polish color and/or odor of her feet. If she says she does not like nude RP, that is not some sort of obscure woman-code for "take off my bra later on, mid-RP, without asking permission." I -promise- you, it's not. If you are going to ask a question, you are expected to listen to and respect the answer, even if it's not an answer you personally like.

5) Women face all sorts of challenges on a daily basis related to male strength and privilege. This makes most spaces, including online spaces, potentially dangerous. This is part of the reason we all have screennames... so that somebody cannot, after a long, carefully planned and seemingly innocent chat, go piece together enough information to stalk you on Facebook. As such, I dislike giving out my email, or screennames associated with any messenger programs I might regularly be on. I don't even like to give out my first name to anybody I have not at least spoken with for a while first. I don't mix TMF and personal life, I'm not telling you who I am on Facebook, you don't need my email, Skype ID or anything else that I would use outside of the forum, and trying to mansplain how easy it would be to use these services will not change my mind. Some people might be perfectly happy to give this information to you, and that is their right, but my answer is still the same, for my own personal reasons. No is no.

I'm sure as other share stories or comment I'll think of more, but these are just a few of the most pressing issues that come to mind.

Thanks for that response! Well said.

The whole being asked personal questions before introducing yourself is the worst. I mean, yeah I can't wait to answer questions about my body with a strange man who hasn't even told me his name.

How about the ads pretty much ALL geared towards one type of male ler? Or the "candid" pics people share of women (or are they just objects?) on here?

Aside from the blatant BS that shows up from some members in chat and private messages, let's talk about some subtle and not so subtle aspects riddled throughout. In the interest of improvement.

1. The fact that you don't want to show your face in a photo or to show a photo of yourself automatically makes you a fake. Hello, some of us value our own privacy.

2. You establish that you're in a relationship, so guys say "I have a girlfriend too, can we tickle you both?" or "how about I help your boyfriend tickle you?"

3. Another thing I have found is that most of the time, I just want to be on chat to talk to my friends about general things, I sometimes talk tickling so sometimes I do not want to. And because of that you're called "boring" "then why are you here" or a invitation to start RP.

That's all I can think of, at the moment, but I'm sure it'll come to mind. Some very good responses from LK too.

The ads are a little... disconcerting, yeah. When I'm in chat, I tend to scroll down past the site header and use chat boxes to cover the sidebar. I don't mind that there's advertising, and I understand it's an adult site, but some of the language used in those ads, and some of the images, are just not something I like to look at.

I mean, I haven't complained, for reasons I cited above... but since you mentioned...

Aside from stupid physical threats from angry trolls online, I think the worst thing that's happened to me, outside of bullshit personal politics, is when someone found my fb and outed me to the world.

Most creative threat goes to the dude that said he'd cut my legs so I never walk again.

Wow. I have never been physically threatened here. That is absolutely horrifying. And yeah... if anybody wonders why I don't give my name out on here, that FB thing is why. (Yeah, some of you know my "name" but that name is a nickname I've used among friends for many years and not my actual first name, and certainly not what's on my Facebook. Internet safety, people.) And while I do have an actual picture of me up here in an old thread, and while it is actually me, I'm aware my face is not clear. I rather prefer that.

The closest thing that's happened to me, thankfully (and possibly because of my paranoia), is that there's a user who I won't name here, but who I used to chat with until he started pressuring me about things I told him repeatedly I did not want to discuss. Since then he has made no less than three other accounts (one of which I know was removed after I reported it) with different user names to try and talk to me. It's not long into the conversation before he begins doing some very particular things, which are what made me uncomfortable in the first place. That's when I check the date on the account, and find out it was made that day. Very stalkery behavior. So I called him on the multiple accounts and told him I was done.

He -still- messages me occasionally on one or two of the accounts when I'm in the chatroom, probably still thinking I'm too stupid to know it's him, and when I don't reply to his PM after a few minutes, he calls me "bitch". Truly admirable, there, buddy. That's -certain- to make me want to talk to you.

It is absolutely horrifying how persistent and obsessed some people can get.