We men need to take a step up! (inspired by a convo in chat)

[Adam55]

Hello,

I don't post often, but have been here for quite awhile. I had a conversation last night with mainly three people (NJJen, Rosebud, and Warren) and it was about Rosebud's recent post about how to scare away girls on the chat room. While we were talking I was getting more and more frusterated about how some men treat women in these chatrooms like just pcing them asking to tickle them with no permission whatsoever, asking about looks, etc. I know not all of us do this as Warren and I surely do not, but the bad thing is for the people that don't, we get steriotyped into this thus being called the immature ones. I am really not trying to start anything here as I don't believe this is a place for fighting, but I believe that someone from the male sex had to say something to straighten some out. All I am asking is just use decent behavior and be polite. You will get a lot further in life and maybe, just maybe us men could get the good reputation we deserve. Thank you for listening to my rant.:D

[Roseblossom]

It's too bad a few bad eggs ruin it for the rest of the good guys, isn't it?

[grippedchimp]

Perhaps I should change my name to "I.M.A.Male", so they won't bug me about my sex...

[dtrell]

how could anyone possibly think that a gripped chimp is a female??? hahahahah...i like gripping my chimp....hahahahah

[JPie1]

or as a female have a nondescript name , JPie....most people are unaware of my gender until I tell them.

[lightninbug]

:cool2: It ALL comes down to common courtesy
nuff siad
-LB

[TickledToDeath]

However, this has been attempted many times before. On different levels...from asking nicely, subtle hints to outright blasting guys for swarming over every single female that enters a room like bees to hive! OR as I used to put it, like hungry wild dogs on a big steak!
Not good.
It's no wonder the ladies stay in the shadows or don't bother coming in at all!
No matter how much you emphisize this, it will happen again and again by the desperate few who cannot control their loins and or their pent up passions, knowing or not knowing, that desperation does NOT sell.
That and it is just plain RUDE! .
You cannot even use the arguement: What if it was the other way around and every time you(a male) went into a chat room and were bombarded with PC's from females...., cause they would probably love it!:D
It is great for us to stick up and step up for the ladies of the community but short of having them shut of their Private Message option, there will be little that can be done to stop this from happening. Unfortunatly. Also it would be tough for the Administrators to be selective as to who is alloed to PM and who is not.I do not think that there is an option for that in the TMF chatroom to make the Private Chat a controled feature.

TTD

[Knox The Hatter]

"Rosebud" indeed! ROF!
Here's a plan of action: the minute someone ambush pcs you upon entering the chat room, you ex out the box, and then press the ignore button on the sender. Sender instantly disappears faster than a Philadelphia Flyers fan after yet another embarrassing post season loss. No muss, no fuss! I would do that, if I didn't love dissin' them so horribly and calling them names and all that other rotten stuff. Sometimes, you get into good shouting matches...
You could figure out quickly who the ayholes are. And, you can avoid them, and you can make them the object of ridicule...you don't have to slink away from them or be afraid of them.

[ticklebutton]

It is so heartening to hear from men who understand that courtesy is the way to go with everyone, regardless of gender.
I've been a witness several times to those of you who speak up when someone gets hostile or makes degrading comments - you guys know who you are, and believe me you have our regard & affection!

And I laughed fondly like you, Knox, at the pet name Rosebud. (I hear Orson Wells' voice murmuring it at the end of Citizen Kane.) ;)
Button :p

[P50]

A Thread titled: How To Stop Chasing Away The Normal Girls

is located here...

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=24448


I figure that I could get the job done in 1-to-2 years if I were dedicated to the task (which I'm definitely not) or, if three or four folks got together and organized themselves well, perhaps 6-to-12 months.

From the looks of things, the currently extant TMF software team (I think his name is "Marauder" :-) won't be able to do this in real life,,, not now,,, not ever. What I've suggested in that other thread is just too much, conceived as afterthoughts, and not something that the original design will facilitate in any reasonable form; i.e., I'm suggesting thin-air-to-market development.

And so,,, I believe that we'll continue to have this problem as long as [A] the membership requirements are (1) the ability to type and (2) an internet connection, and [B] We continue to use the existing software. i.e., forever under the current operations

And so I wonder,,,, could four of us make money writing Yet Another Chatroom ?

There must be a dozen chat-rooms on the market. I wonder.

<B><I>YACKITY-YACK</I></B> -- <B><I>Y</I></B>our <B><I>A</I></B>ll <B><I>C</I></B>apacity <B><I>K</I></B>ickstart <B><I>I</I></B>nternal <B><I>T</I></B>alk Facilit<B><I>Y</I></B> <B><I>-</I></B> <B><I>Y</I></B>et <B><I>A</I></B>nother <B><I>C</I></B>hatroom <B><I>K</I></B>iosk

[grippedchimp]

how could anyone possibly think that a gripped chimp is a female??? hahahahah...i like gripping my chimp....hahahahah

Ladies and gentlemen, this is gonna the funniest thing dtrell will ever say in this forum... which isn't saying much...

[HisDivineShadow]

That's sad.:sowrong: :p I still can't believe anyone would think you are a female.:sowrong: :sowrong:

[Limeoutsider]

The first time I went into chat I was bombed with PC's, it got so bad that I left without saying anything to anyone who had PC'ed me, and when I went back to the chatroom a week or so later, everyone thought I was a guy

[BigJim]

Back when the old room was still around, I tried going in under obviously female names once. Every time I was bombarded with unrequested PM's demanding my age, sex, location etc. The people often didn't even bother inflecting it into a question. They'd just bark it out, like the were talking to a puter or summat. :disgust:

To all the charismaless pee-wees out there, quite this shite will ya? It's bad for the reputation of male chatters as a whole and will get you NOWHERE in your search for a chat, meeting or anything else. The only effect will be every female member and most male members too thinking you are a colossal asshole with less social grace than a pubic louse. Yanno?

[Roseblossom]

the problem here isn't our gender!

That's Adam's point; that it's time for us all to insist on respectful treatment of everyone.

Rose

[venray]

Knox pretty much sums it up for me...the ignore feature lets them know
they arent wanted without even wasting time typing to them.

Good thread, but let's keep the personal comments at a minimum, please....:D

Ven

[BigJim]

Originally posted by venray1
Knox pretty much sums it up for me...the ignore feature lets them know
they arent wanted without even wasting time typing to them.

Good thread, but let's keep the personal comments at a minimum, please....:D

Ven

Awwwww, Ven just gave me my first bollocking. :cry1:

[Battousai]

Personally, I get mistaken for a girl all the time in chat rooms. I'm not sure why, must just be the way I act...combined with the purple fonts I use (Although where I'm from, purple was never considered girly..). Oh well, I don't really care, but it does let me see how men act towards women, and not only that, but they act COMPLETLY different to me if they know I'm male. People are so weird...^^x

[Phineas]

Originally posted by P50
And so I wonder,,,, could four of us make money writing Yet Another Chatroom ?

There must be a dozen chat-rooms on the market. I wonder.
[/B]

...you don't need four people. I'm perfectly capable of writing chat software myself. If I had known the TMF administrators were offering money for new chat software at the time I would have been glad to contract my services, but I had no idea.

oh, well. :D

TS will have a chat feature built in, anyway.

[QBWeaver]

You'd be amazed at the number of women who PC me thinking I'm a guy. The QB thing makes them think I'm a Quarterback.

So while it's not that often, and I know that women seem to receive the higher number of uninvited PC's, women do it as well.

Like someone said earlier... It's just a matter of common courtesy. If they follow the rules of the chatroom by asking to PC prior to actually doing it, it would be fine.

When a guy asks a/s/l ( Age, Sex, Location ) I just tell him Years/Not enough/Here. If he persists I get into a conversation with him about whether he would walk up to a lady and ask that stuff in person.

If I do tell him my age, and I generally do because I don't want to lead anyone on, the guy is generally much younger than I and instantly asks if it's ok for him to be so young. Good gracious... it's only chatting for heaven's sake.

[Phineas]

When a guy asks a/s/l ( Age, Sex, Location ) I just tell him Years/Not enough/Here. If he persists I get into a conversation with him about whether he would walk up to a lady and ask that stuff in person.

well to be fair QB, you wouldn't *have* to ask that stuff in person because you can see who you're talking to. It's generally pretty obvious what a person's age range and sex are by looking at 'em, and the location is also thereby filled in by the fact that they're standing in front of you. The reason it's asked in chat rooms like ours is because many of the folks who go there have this mistaken assumption they're going to find a partner, and don't want to "waste time" chatting up the "wrong" people.

[P50]

Phineas wrote,,,

<I>TS will have a chat feature built in, anyway.</I>

I hope that some of the suggestions I've made about a chat room spec will have at least a tiny influence on your chatroom design.

Yahoo's chat appears to be highly planned-and-thought-out. I hope you'll also sponge a few of their tricks into your thinking.

Just my suggestions; free; money-back if not satisfied

[P50]

Phineas also wrote elsewhere,,,

<I>"...this mistaken assumption they're going to find a partner..."</I>

(Not picking on the writer; so Phineas, this isn't aimed at you)

Hmmmmmmm,,,,,, I wonder where <I><B>ANYONE</B></I> could ever pick up a deluded notion like that ? I mean, what with everyone clearly understanding the 0.0008 probability factor (i.e., the chance of a man meeting a woman here and ever going on a date, and even less, anything really turning into any sort of real relationship). I mean really ! How could anyone make that obviously wrong assumption ?



(((((Looks for the widest open field and runs as fast as possible))))

[BigJim]

For what it's worth mate, I've been on 3 dates with girls from here and I'm not the only one. None of them turned into relationships or anything serious, but 3 tickling dates are fun whichever way you turn them.

[TickVix]

Thanks for creating this thread for what you mentioned happens ALOT. when I first joined tmf I was in the chat room here and there just trying to get to know a few people up here on a friendly level, however some people tried to cross the line and it's not just men, but some women too. Hence the reason why I no longer go into the chat room lol. I'm much happier just posting lol.

[Chrisums]

I don't understand the purpose of PMs like that. I suppose people hear stories about how so and so met such and such on the forums and eventually got together and tickled each other silly... perhaps these individuals hear about this situations and want a piece of the social pie.

Still- it seems to me like common sense would kick in and say "This is wrong". In my time on forums (across 2 names: my first made in 2003 that I hated but do still have and then eventually this one which I made when I realized I couldn't stand the other anymore) and all of those are replies. Unless there was some really interesting conversation and I was PMing to ask a question about it or continue it, I couldn't imagine up and messaging someone who doesn't know me or anything about me like that.

Moreso, I suppose I can't see how an individual would come the idea that anything other than a non-response or a creeped out feeling would come from this...

[No_Style]

not only men, but i'm sure there are a few woman too who are disrespectful. I'd also like to not be asked asl in the first few minutes of meeting someone.

[porcelaindoll2]

I finally worked up the courage to enter the chat room. It was irritating, so many guys were creeping me out. Just ignore them because they will always be there and save the ignore feature as a last resort.

[Mirage]

I have tried to enter a chat room...but could not figure out how it should work (I am not very good with all the computer things)....so I am sort off curious what's in nere...but seeing this thread i would probably wait before I try to access it again

[Artoo]

http://www.dakkadakka.com/s/i/at/2009/9/30/1bb22d83a5a6e7e51db43b116310113e_18427.jpg__thumb

[totally_evil]

Lol, Artoo you're a legend.

I used to go into the chat room a lot when I was bored. Normally I could ring the main window with unasked for pcs in about 20 minutes on an average day. I always gave men 3 chances to talk to me like a human being rather than a slab of meat (after asking them politely and telling them I didn't cyber) before I told them they were rude and ignored them.

In my couple of years of going into the chatroom a lot I learnt a few things:

1) if you ask someone if you can pc it often gets lost in the main room conversation if it's an average-fast day

2) if someone is polite from the start you will have a good conversation and they tend not to be after purely cyber

3) if someone starts with a/s/l? there's pretty much no hope (although people have surprised me now and then).

4) if you get a reputation as someone who will lay into someone if they're being a jerk after you've given them a few chances people tend to start being more polite towards you (although I wouldn't recommend this path)

5) being called totally_evil, half the time people ask "so why are you totally evil?" - ie no one is original.

6) going into the chatroom is worth it now and then - I first talked to Artoo and my current long term partner in the chat room.