Shem the Penman
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[Posted in response to a note in the requests forum. I believe this was written by i64ever; I have no idea if further parts were written.]
"It's going to be a boring weekend Bev," Susan said as she downed another shot.
"Yeah, I know, but what are you going to do." Susan and Beverly were sitting at there ususual table at "Mark's" a typical biker/outlaw bar. They had hoped to find some action, but absolutly nothing was happening in the city, at all. Even "Mark's" was tame, for "Mark's" that was. Only two fights, neither of them involving more than 5 people, and it was already 7:30!
"Let's get out of here!" Susan stood up and started puting on her leather jacket over her ripped black T-Shirt.
"And go where Sue!" Beverly lit another cigarrette. "If we go out on the streets, sure will find trouble, but if the cops find us, we're back in the Joint! We just got out last week, and I don't want to go back so soon."
"Yeah," Susan sat back down. "We both pissed of Big Momma pretty good before they let us out, and you know what she does to people she doesn't like."
"Exactly," Beverly took a puff, "I'd rather sit here bored than go out and find a little excitement if that excitement made me Big Momma's toy for a year!"
Susan shuttered. "Not again,Lord, not again! You win, we stay here. Maybe something will turn up."
Beverly was staring at the door when it opened. "I think something just did. Look."
Susan turned around. Coming through the door was a petite lady, dresed in a flowery pink dress. She looked frightened, constantly glancing from side to side at the leather clad men and women surrounding her.
"Huh, I wonder what Barbie wants here. Let's find out."
Bev and Sue moved to the bar where "Barbie" was trying, and failing, to get the attention of the bar tender.
"Sir, sir!" Barbie was saying in her high-pitched voice "sir, could you help me please! Sir" The bar tender, Ol' Pete, was doing his best to ignore her.
"Maybe we can help you Miss..." Bev said, with only a slight smile on her face.
"Miss Jones, Miss Tiffany Jones, thank you," Tiffany breathed a sigh of relief, " I'm lost. I need to find 8th street. could you help me?"
Beverly whispered to Susan "Barbie doll really is lost! 8th street is way on the other side of town!"
Susan whipered back "Remember what Big Momma and Sal did to me in thecafeteria?" Then she spoke outloud "Sure Tiffany, we can help you. Come back to our table, and we will draw you a map."
Tiffany thanked the two many times, then followed them back to her table. Bev and Sue made sure to sit on either side of her, really close.
"Get out a pen and paper. Are you ready?" Bev asked, "Good. Now, you need to take Main Street north to South Street. Wait, is that south to North Street. No, its south to north. Then, left, right a left onto Dawson, no Elk..." Beverly went over a long, rambling string of directions, often stopping and making changes. She soon had Tiffany so confused that her entire attention was rivited on making sense out of everything.
In the middle of an exspecially confusing part, Susan innocently complemented Tiffany's shoes. "Can I take a closer look at them?"
"Sure," and obviously distracted Tiffany said, "Take a look. Now was that west on East ave? And left onto Park?"
"No, no..." Beverly went on naming fictional streets and building. Susan picked up Tiffany's foot and placed it in her lap. Tiffany tried to turn her head and say something, but Beverly immediatly started pointing to something on the map, some 'mistake' Tiffany had made, again capturing her total attention.
Susan removed Tiffany's size 5 designer shoe, uncovering a nylon covered foot. Tiffany's feet had long, painted toes, and obviously had regular pedicures. Susan began running one of her long fingernails over Tiffany's arch.
Tiffany stiffened and instinctivly tried to pull her foot away. Susan caught her ankle in a firm grip, and kept lightly tickling.
"Is something wrong?" Beverly asked with feigned ignorance.
"No, no," a smile formed onto Tiffany's face. "I was just...distracted for a second."
"Distracted!" Beverly tried to mimic her old 6th grade teacher,
"Distracted. I'm doing this for your own good, so you better pay attention! Now what did I just say?"
Susan started tickling a little faster. Tiffany's smile got bigger
"You... he you said he he to take a he left some...some he some he he he."
"Tiffany!" Beverly said sarcastically, "What is the problem!"
"He he he he I'm he he sorry he he but he he your friend he he is he he h tickling my foot heee ehe he eh he he he he he he " Tiffany had broken into a full giggle as Susan was now running all five fingers up and down her nylon-covered arch.
Beverly smiled "Gee Tiffany, are your feet ... ticklish?"
"He he he he he he he he yes yes yes oh he he yesssss! Escpecially he he he in nylonnnnnnsssssss he he he." Tiffnay was laughing louder, "I he he he can't think he he he when he he he sh sheeeeeeeeeeeee does that he he he. Pleeeaasasssee he he make your he he he friend he he he stoooppppppppp!
AHAHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA."
Tiffany screamed as Susan began running a finger beneath her toes. A few of the bar's other patrons were now looking to see what's so funny.
"You mean she's doing...this!" Beverly quickly grabbed Tiffany's other leg, flipped off the shoe, and began tickling her other foot.
Tiffany laughed louder and louder. Both Susan and Beverly were now wildly running all five fingers over her soles. Tears were streaming down Tiffany's face, and she kept banging one of her fists into the table. She tried desperatly to pull her feet free, but both Sue and Bev were far stronger than she was, and both had firm grips on her ankles.
"HA HA HA HA HA NO NO NO! Pleeeeeeeeeeaaseeeeee! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! STOP STOP STOP!!!!! HE HE HE HE HE HE OOOHHHHHHHHH!!! HA HA HA HA!"
"You know," Sue picked up her fork, "I wonder if Barbie would enjoy this!" Sue used the fork to tear away Tiffany's nylon, than began running all four prongs up and down over her soles.
Somehow, Tiffany even laughed louder. She was completely hysterical now, trashing and banging, and laughing, laughing, laughing.
"I don't know, Sue," Bev shook her head. "I think I'll just keep working my nails under these wonderful tickly toes of her's."
The tickling now robbed Tiffany of all energy. She collapsed like a rag doll, and buried her head into the table as if it were a pillow. Susan and Beverly felt the legs on their laps turn into wet noodles.
"HE HE HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH........................" Finally, the noise stopped, and only silent laughter poured from Tiffany's mouth.
Everyone in the bar was staring now, some obviously wondering how they could get into the fun. The usual background noises of conversations, arguements, and the occasional shattering of a chair on someone's head slowly
died. No one wanted to interupt the show.
After what was no more than 15 minutes to Sue and Bev, but several years to Tiffany, the two stopped. Tiffany gasped for air, like a drowning sailor, panitng with an occasional left over giggle.
"Please gasp he he gasp gasp please he no no gasp! No he he more."
Susan leaned down and whispered. "Look around you, Tiffany. Every dirtbag and fellon in this place is staring at you like a piece of meet. If we just let you go, they'll be all over you."
Tiffany looked around the bar. "You're gasp you're right. Help he help me get out of here. Please."
"Alright," Beverly said to Susan's surprise, "We'll help you out of here. We'll take you to our room upstairs. If you want to go, that is!"
"NO!" Tiffany shouted. "NO! Please, I'm late as it is. People are waiting for me. And you'll just tickle me more up their, won't you?"
Beverly started to lightly tickle her foot again. "You don't understand, Tiffany. We can just keep tickling you now if we want. I'm sure our friends would help if we asked."
"He he he he he NOT THAT!!! he he. O.K., you win he he he! I'll go! I'll go."
"I thought you'd feel that way. Let's go."
Tiffany tried to stand, but her knee's immediatly buckled. She was still to exhausted from the tickling. She had to put her arms around Bev's and Sue's shoulders and let them half carry her up the stairs.
The crowd, however, wasn't anxious to let them go. Most of them wanted their own piece of the "Barbie Girl". They stood in a line between the girls and the back stairs, as if daring them to try and get through.
It was the familiar noice of a shotgun being cocked that broke up the stand-off. Behind the bar, Ol' Pete was aiming it in the direction of the crowd.
"Bev and Sue," Pete said in his gravely voice, "Have paid for that room until the end of the week, and I'll be damned if any residents of this here establishment will be kept from the premises."
As ususual, Ol' Pete goit a bit confused with the big words, but no one could miss the meaning of his shotgun. The crowd parted. Beverly blew the old man a kiss, and then the two began taking their new "property" up the stairs.
END OF PART ONE
"It's going to be a boring weekend Bev," Susan said as she downed another shot.
"Yeah, I know, but what are you going to do." Susan and Beverly were sitting at there ususual table at "Mark's" a typical biker/outlaw bar. They had hoped to find some action, but absolutly nothing was happening in the city, at all. Even "Mark's" was tame, for "Mark's" that was. Only two fights, neither of them involving more than 5 people, and it was already 7:30!
"Let's get out of here!" Susan stood up and started puting on her leather jacket over her ripped black T-Shirt.
"And go where Sue!" Beverly lit another cigarrette. "If we go out on the streets, sure will find trouble, but if the cops find us, we're back in the Joint! We just got out last week, and I don't want to go back so soon."
"Yeah," Susan sat back down. "We both pissed of Big Momma pretty good before they let us out, and you know what she does to people she doesn't like."
"Exactly," Beverly took a puff, "I'd rather sit here bored than go out and find a little excitement if that excitement made me Big Momma's toy for a year!"
Susan shuttered. "Not again,Lord, not again! You win, we stay here. Maybe something will turn up."
Beverly was staring at the door when it opened. "I think something just did. Look."
Susan turned around. Coming through the door was a petite lady, dresed in a flowery pink dress. She looked frightened, constantly glancing from side to side at the leather clad men and women surrounding her.
"Huh, I wonder what Barbie wants here. Let's find out."
Bev and Sue moved to the bar where "Barbie" was trying, and failing, to get the attention of the bar tender.
"Sir, sir!" Barbie was saying in her high-pitched voice "sir, could you help me please! Sir" The bar tender, Ol' Pete, was doing his best to ignore her.
"Maybe we can help you Miss..." Bev said, with only a slight smile on her face.
"Miss Jones, Miss Tiffany Jones, thank you," Tiffany breathed a sigh of relief, " I'm lost. I need to find 8th street. could you help me?"
Beverly whispered to Susan "Barbie doll really is lost! 8th street is way on the other side of town!"
Susan whipered back "Remember what Big Momma and Sal did to me in thecafeteria?" Then she spoke outloud "Sure Tiffany, we can help you. Come back to our table, and we will draw you a map."
Tiffany thanked the two many times, then followed them back to her table. Bev and Sue made sure to sit on either side of her, really close.
"Get out a pen and paper. Are you ready?" Bev asked, "Good. Now, you need to take Main Street north to South Street. Wait, is that south to North Street. No, its south to north. Then, left, right a left onto Dawson, no Elk..." Beverly went over a long, rambling string of directions, often stopping and making changes. She soon had Tiffany so confused that her entire attention was rivited on making sense out of everything.
In the middle of an exspecially confusing part, Susan innocently complemented Tiffany's shoes. "Can I take a closer look at them?"
"Sure," and obviously distracted Tiffany said, "Take a look. Now was that west on East ave? And left onto Park?"
"No, no..." Beverly went on naming fictional streets and building. Susan picked up Tiffany's foot and placed it in her lap. Tiffany tried to turn her head and say something, but Beverly immediatly started pointing to something on the map, some 'mistake' Tiffany had made, again capturing her total attention.
Susan removed Tiffany's size 5 designer shoe, uncovering a nylon covered foot. Tiffany's feet had long, painted toes, and obviously had regular pedicures. Susan began running one of her long fingernails over Tiffany's arch.
Tiffany stiffened and instinctivly tried to pull her foot away. Susan caught her ankle in a firm grip, and kept lightly tickling.
"Is something wrong?" Beverly asked with feigned ignorance.
"No, no," a smile formed onto Tiffany's face. "I was just...distracted for a second."
"Distracted!" Beverly tried to mimic her old 6th grade teacher,
"Distracted. I'm doing this for your own good, so you better pay attention! Now what did I just say?"
Susan started tickling a little faster. Tiffany's smile got bigger
"You... he you said he he to take a he left some...some he some he he he."
"Tiffany!" Beverly said sarcastically, "What is the problem!"
"He he he he I'm he he sorry he he but he he your friend he he is he he h tickling my foot heee ehe he eh he he he he he he " Tiffany had broken into a full giggle as Susan was now running all five fingers up and down her nylon-covered arch.
Beverly smiled "Gee Tiffany, are your feet ... ticklish?"
"He he he he he he he he yes yes yes oh he he yesssss! Escpecially he he he in nylonnnnnnsssssss he he he." Tiffnay was laughing louder, "I he he he can't think he he he when he he he sh sheeeeeeeeeeeee does that he he he. Pleeeaasasssee he he make your he he he friend he he he stoooppppppppp!
AHAHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA."
Tiffany screamed as Susan began running a finger beneath her toes. A few of the bar's other patrons were now looking to see what's so funny.
"You mean she's doing...this!" Beverly quickly grabbed Tiffany's other leg, flipped off the shoe, and began tickling her other foot.
Tiffany laughed louder and louder. Both Susan and Beverly were now wildly running all five fingers over her soles. Tears were streaming down Tiffany's face, and she kept banging one of her fists into the table. She tried desperatly to pull her feet free, but both Sue and Bev were far stronger than she was, and both had firm grips on her ankles.
"HA HA HA HA HA NO NO NO! Pleeeeeeeeeeaaseeeeee! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! STOP STOP STOP!!!!! HE HE HE HE HE HE OOOHHHHHHHHH!!! HA HA HA HA!"
"You know," Sue picked up her fork, "I wonder if Barbie would enjoy this!" Sue used the fork to tear away Tiffany's nylon, than began running all four prongs up and down over her soles.
Somehow, Tiffany even laughed louder. She was completely hysterical now, trashing and banging, and laughing, laughing, laughing.
"I don't know, Sue," Bev shook her head. "I think I'll just keep working my nails under these wonderful tickly toes of her's."
The tickling now robbed Tiffany of all energy. She collapsed like a rag doll, and buried her head into the table as if it were a pillow. Susan and Beverly felt the legs on their laps turn into wet noodles.
"HE HE HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH........................" Finally, the noise stopped, and only silent laughter poured from Tiffany's mouth.
Everyone in the bar was staring now, some obviously wondering how they could get into the fun. The usual background noises of conversations, arguements, and the occasional shattering of a chair on someone's head slowly
died. No one wanted to interupt the show.
After what was no more than 15 minutes to Sue and Bev, but several years to Tiffany, the two stopped. Tiffany gasped for air, like a drowning sailor, panitng with an occasional left over giggle.
"Please gasp he he gasp gasp please he no no gasp! No he he more."
Susan leaned down and whispered. "Look around you, Tiffany. Every dirtbag and fellon in this place is staring at you like a piece of meet. If we just let you go, they'll be all over you."
Tiffany looked around the bar. "You're gasp you're right. Help he help me get out of here. Please."
"Alright," Beverly said to Susan's surprise, "We'll help you out of here. We'll take you to our room upstairs. If you want to go, that is!"
"NO!" Tiffany shouted. "NO! Please, I'm late as it is. People are waiting for me. And you'll just tickle me more up their, won't you?"
Beverly started to lightly tickle her foot again. "You don't understand, Tiffany. We can just keep tickling you now if we want. I'm sure our friends would help if we asked."
"He he he he he NOT THAT!!! he he. O.K., you win he he he! I'll go! I'll go."
"I thought you'd feel that way. Let's go."
Tiffany tried to stand, but her knee's immediatly buckled. She was still to exhausted from the tickling. She had to put her arms around Bev's and Sue's shoulders and let them half carry her up the stairs.
The crowd, however, wasn't anxious to let them go. Most of them wanted their own piece of the "Barbie Girl". They stood in a line between the girls and the back stairs, as if daring them to try and get through.
It was the familiar noice of a shotgun being cocked that broke up the stand-off. Behind the bar, Ol' Pete was aiming it in the direction of the crowd.
"Bev and Sue," Pete said in his gravely voice, "Have paid for that room until the end of the week, and I'll be damned if any residents of this here establishment will be kept from the premises."
As ususual, Ol' Pete goit a bit confused with the big words, but no one could miss the meaning of his shotgun. The crowd parted. Beverly blew the old man a kiss, and then the two began taking their new "property" up the stairs.
END OF PART ONE
