The Tinfoil Feather Award

The English Department at San Jose State University sponsors the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels (details here: http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/ ). It’s named in honor (?) of Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, the 19th Century novelist who perpetrated the immortal line, “It was a dark and stormy night.” Entrants compete in genre categories, i. e. General, Western, Detective, Sci-Fi, etc. But there’s no Tickling fiction category.

OTOH, the TMF has plenty of tickling fiction but only the Golden Feather awards for “Best Fiction”. That leaves out the poor writers – and Lord knows there’s plenty of them.

In the interest of fairness, I propose that we add the Tinfoil Feather Award for “Worst Fiction”. Competition rules are simple:

1. Write the first paragraph of the worst, cheesiest tickling story ever.
2. Keep it short – 100 words or less.
3. Incorporate as many Tickling Fiction Cliché’s as possibe (listed here: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27892 )
4. Half a page of “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” etc. isn’t a story – these entries will be disqualified.

Post your entries as replies to this thread. Once we have sufficient entries, I’ll post a poll to determine the winner.

Strelnikov

At last..a showcase for my writing talents...

It was a dark and stormy night....for tickling! Mwuahahahaha!

That reminds me ...

That reminds me of a student in a commercially oriented creative writing class in Britain. He learned that the most successful novels, in terms of sales, all dealt with one or more of the following topics: sex, royalty, money, religion, and mystery. Moreover, he was taught, it is wise to get these topics into the novel as soon as possible, so that a potential reader, browsing in a bookstore, will see them on the first page.

So this was the first sentence of his novel:

"Oh God, help me," said the wealthy Royal Princess, "I'm pregnant, and I have no idea who the father could be."

Re: That reminds me ...

milagros317 said:

That reminds me of a student in a commercially oriented creative writing class in Britain. He learned that the most successful novels, in terms of sales, all dealt with one or more of the following topics: sex, royalty, money, religion, and mystery. Moreover, he was taught, it is wise to get these topics into the novel as soon as possible, so that a potential reader, browsing in a bookstore, will see them on the first page.

So this was the first sentence of his novel:

"Oh God, help me," said the wealthy Royal Princess, "I'm pregnant, and I have no idea who the father could be."

Click to expand...

And it was called "The Paris Hilton Story"