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Senses

BOFH666

2nd Level Red Feather
Joined
Dec 14, 2002
Messages
1,382
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How the heck did I go from listening to Evanescence to writing this? Oh well, for those that are interested, the track was Haunted and there’s definitely some echoes of it here. As usual when I write something this, umm, let’s be polite and say different from my normal stuff any and all feedback is welcome. I know this sort of writing isn’t where my strengths lie so any constructive criticism would be appreciated.

Oh and here's to a great 2004 for you all :D


***************

Senses

I can hear her
Stalking me
A predator circling her prey
Anticipation her teeth
Apprehension her claws
Even now I feel them ripping into me
My heart rate soaring
My breath coming fast and shallow
Every sense stretched out into the darkness around me

I can feel
The floor cool and hard beneath
The air warm and still above
The soft, supple leather binding me
The strain in muscles stretched to the edge of pain
The smooth satin around my skull, over my eyes
The lingering ghost of the lightest touch on my skin

I can smell her now,
Moving closer
Her scent intoxicating
My head swimming as she nears
Silent now she comes
Yet somehow I know
She’s still there

The first touch
Unexpected
Silken softness falling in waves
Brushing against my flesh
Over and over
The warmth of her breath
Passing over my skin as she moves
So close I can feel her body
Outlined in the air above

Faster she moves
Wet lips tracing my sides
Shivers of delight coursing through me
Every nerve on fire
Wanting her touch
Needing her touch
Needing her

Now she strikes
Lips replaced with fingers
Fingers flying
Knowing where to attack
Assailing my senses
Assaulting my will
My surrender her only goal.

Faster she moves,
Hunting me
Knowing my weakness all too well
Her merest touch like liquid lightning
My mind screaming
For release, for mercy, for pity
Yet even as it does
My body come alive
My soul cries for more

Still faster she goes
Hands drifting over every inch of flesh
Nothing and nowhere left untouched
Revelling in her power, her control.
From somewhere I hear words
My words
Begging, pleading, promising
Breaking

Her arms wrap around me
Holding tight for a moment
Pulling me to her
Claiming me
Hers
Now and forever hers
Then the inevitable reprise
Her hands once more turning to their task
Driving me onwards
Driving me to my limits
Driving me to madness

Now mind and body scream as one
The blackness before my eyes turning red
Hands clawing at the air
Every muscle straining for release
Every conscious thought focused on escape
Yet my soul…
My soul revels in it,
Basks in it
Desires it.

Time loses it’s meaning
The world passes into shadow
Nothing remains save her
Her presence above me,
Her touch upon me
Every moment an eternity
Drowning in laughter

Finally she tires of the game
Her body becoming still above me
Sliding down to lie beside me
Her head resting on my chest
The beating of my heart lulling her to sleep
The darkness still wrapped around my eyes
As it will remain all night
Waiting for her to return my sight
And let me see her once more.
 
Outstanding! I can TOTALLY hear this set to Evanescence!!!

Plus, it's about damn time you wrote something new, ya tosser. Happy New Year! :p
 
Re: Outstanding! I can TOTALLY hear this set to Evanescence!!!

AffectionateDan said:
Plus, it's about damn time you wrote something new, ya tosser. :p

I don't know, you go away for one week (okay, one and a bit), you damn near kill yourself to finish a nice little gift
to keep people happy while you're off in the wilderness and what do you get? Insults. It's enough to make you mutter, it really is... ;)

Actually, I'm a little worried when doing something so simple as listening to music gets me writing something this, umm, twisted but I'll put that down to the normal insanity and move on. Oh, and thanks mate :D

Edit Here you go, to make up for the week off and all that, have another one. Happy now? :p


Morning Angel said:
Another beautiful work! Passionate and descriptive and even a bit haunting.

I don't know about anyone else, but this sort of thing from young, female, talented Canadian lee's (who are being corrupted by someone who shall remain nameless into at least a part-time ler *innocent whistling* :imouttahe) just gives a real warm fuzzy glow to the day. Thanks lass, now if only I could figure out how to get my head through this door, the doorframe seems to have shrunk since I came in...
 
Last edited:
it feels like a drumbeat, getting faster and faster. great stuff! very raw and from the heart. I’m glad to took the plunge.
 
WOW!

Incredible. Sexy GREAT

thanks for posting
Diego
 
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