Rockauthor
TMF Master
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2001
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KATIE COURIC
PAULA ZAHN
DIANE SAWYER
ANN CURRY
Starring in
“Sweeps Week”
(ticklish celebrity fiction)
It was that time again. “Sweeps Week” time that is. That exciting week in May when television networks air some of their more provocative and titillating programs for that crucial ratings boost which determines commercial rates for sponsors. Things like an episode of Fear Factor where a stunt goes horribly wrong and a contestant is air-lifted to a hospital, clinging for life, or a special episode of Will & Grace where Will claims to have overcome his homosexuality and wants to marry Grace.
Often viewers will flood network mailrooms with letters giving their ideas for what they’d like to see happen on their favorite shows. This time around though the three major TV networks were ambushed with tons of letters and e-mails that all had the same request. Coincidentally, these people were all identifying themselves as males between the ages of 18 and 49, a demographic that they knew to be the key “money demographic” to advertisers.
The letters and e-mails simply stated that they would really, really love to see television newswomen Katie Couric, Paula Zahn, Diane Sawyer, and Ann Curry have their feet tickled while trying to read a news story. In the past a network executive wouldn’t even consider such a silly suggestion, but in a day where ABC, NBC, and CBS must compete with not only each other, but three other minor broadcast networks, and over five hundred cable and satellite channels, network heads have been forced to compromise and push the envelope further than ever before.
***
Katie Couric, co-hostess of the Today show, was riding in her limousine down a busy Manhattan street with cell phone in hand and agent on the other end. She couldn’t help but show that famous girl-next-door smile of hers when he proposed the off-the-wall idea. It was as if the very suggestion of being tied to a chair and having her feet tickled while she read the news made Katie feel like bursting in a fit of titters.
“I don’t know if I really want to do this. I mean this is the craziest thing I ever heard. Besides I have ticklish feet.” giggled Katie.
Her agent tried to convince her that it would be a good career move and that the ratings would go through the roof; the ear-to-ear grinning sweetheart shrugged her shoulders, shook her head, and put her hand to her cheek at a loss for words, only promising that she’d think about it.
Meanwhile, Good Morning America fixture and respected journalist Diane Sawyer pauses in the makeup chair in her dressing room, listening to her agent pitch the idea, and getting a touchup before going on air. She turned her head to the left a bit to allow the beautician to apply some powder to her cheek.
“Now the basic premise is that Katie, Ann, Paula, and yourself try to read a news story while someone hiding under the desk is tickling your feet,” said the agent.
“Just Katie, Paula, Ann, and me?” asked Diane, who was amused by it all. “May I ask why there aren’t any men participating in this? I mean isn’t this a bit sexist?”
He replied, “Well, all the correspondents claim to be males eighteen to forty-nine, and that is the ‘money’ demographic, the demographic sponsors say spend the most money for the products they advertise. That’s what they want to see and that’s what the networks want to give them. It‘s just the business, Diane.”
“Well then, I guess we gotta give the public what they want.” laughed Diane, shrugging her shoulders in bewilderment.
On the set of CNN’s Paula Zahn Now, the star of the program, reporter Paula Zahn takes a personal call during a break. She flips open the compact cellular phone in her hand to hear the cheerful, comforting voice of her mediator. He too offered the same comical theme to the sexy blonde.
“Hmmm. Sounds tempting, but I think I’m gonna pass on this one.” Paula said. “I like to think of myself as a serious journalist, and subjecting myself to something that’s just not my style doesn’t really appeal to me.”
Needless to say, Paula’s agent wasn’t about to give up trying to persuade the esteemed newswoman to indulge this significant demographic, and that it would in no way hurt her career. But, he and the representatives of the other commentators had their work cut out for them, especially Today reporter Ann Curry’s agent. When she got word about what so many TV viewers had in mind the lovely brunette burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter claiming, “I don’t think I would be able to take that. I am extremely ticklish on my feet.”
***
Well, after several days of persistent, persuasive phone calls Katie, Paula, Diane, and Ann finally let their agents talk them into being team players and going along with this ridiculous bit. It took several weeks of planning though before producers came up with an idea venue. The segment was titled “No Laughing Matter”, and it was respectively aired on all three programs, Good Morning America, Paula Zahn Now, and Today, with each of the four lady news icons introducing their own part.
“On a lighter note today,” said Katie Couric, wearing an unbridled grin at the final few minutes of the show, “we have received tons of letters an e-mails at the Today show from predominantly male viewers, no doubt, who want to see me try to read a news story...while having my feet tickled.” She giggled. “I don’t know what on earth possessed me to actually do this, but as you’ll see in a moment it was a very interesting experience.” Then Katie signaled with her hand to cue the segment.
The queen of morning news was sitting attentively at a news desk getting ready to read a very weighty piece about a disastrous earthquake in Iran. What Today show watchers couldn’t see was that Katie’s ankles had been locked in velvet-lined, metal clasps which were fixed to the base of the chair; this left Katie’s nylon-clad soles tucked accessibly under her. Then, a very lucky stagehand named Chris was positioned out of sight below, right in front of Katie’s vulnerable tootsies.
The words on the teleprompter slowly scrolled as the cute brunette began speaking, thus giving the cue for the man with his fingers poised to start tickling. From the first touch the seasoned broadcaster twitched hard in her seat, widening her angst-ridden smile even more. Chris had merely ran a lone finger down Katie’s stocking-clad sole; it tickled her so much she could barely get out the first two sentences of the article without stuttering from the giggles she tried to suppress.
Katie’s delivery was noticeably hurried as her whole body tensed up. She went on to say that fatalities in the 6.1 magnitude quake totaled in the tens of thousands while fidgeting constantly in her chair; Chris was now dancing his digits briskly along the arch and ball of Katie’s right foot causing sporadic chortles to escape her mouth.
“Oh my god, I am sooo ticklish,” she admitted. Then she tried to continue the story, reading how poor building standards contributed to the vast structural damage the city suffered when the lucky union guy started to delicately drill his finger between the toes of the highly sensitive Couric. She shrieked. She had to clinch the edge of the desk or she surely would have fallen off the swivel chair; her foot jerked against the metal clasp her ankle was locked in, trying to break free, but it was all a useless effort.
“I’m sorry,” laughed Katie. “my feet are just so ticklish and this is a very serious report here.”
Later, it was Today’s Ann Curry’s turn to humiliate herself in front of America by revealing how low her threshold was for tickling. When they began playing her clip the Asian beauty was already hysterical, even before the actual tickling started. Ralph, another production crew member, was the next lucky tickler to hide behind the news desk while the hopelessly ticklish Ann Curry panicked and pondered how in the world she was going to get through this.
She was nearly out of breath just from the anticipation; she was trying to catch her breath so she could start reading the very grave article about a New Jersey woman arrested for leaving her three children in a house with no food for nearly a month. “I’m terrified,” Ann claimed. “Okay, okay, I’ll get through this.”
She took a deep breath, cleared her throat and began reading the piece with a straight face; that was when Ralph chimed in with a two-handed tickle assault on both of Ann’s nylon-clad soles. She screamed with a fierce shudder; it felt like a jolt of electricity had surged through her entire body. Her head fell to the desk and she banged her fist on the desk, laughing hysterically. She jerked back up suddenly when the crew guy resumed his tickle attack on her poor arches without warning.
“Okay...stop...stop...I’m sorry...I can’t do it!” Ann giggled.
They cut back to the studio shot where a surprised Matt Lauer turned to his adorable colleague and commented, “What happened to the report,” which made the off-camera crew laugh. “Wow, you really are ticklish, Ann.”
“Oh god, I really am,” she said. “My feet are the most ticklish spot on my body. I mean, I’m ticklish all over, but my feet are the worst place.”
Meanwhile, on ABC’s Good Morning America, a coy Diane Sawyer allowed her partner Charlie Gibson to introduce her embarrassing little endeavor into the world of tickling. The clip was played; she too sat competently at a news desk as Frank, a long-time member of the GMA production family, lived out every tickle fetishist’s fantasy, holding his eager fingers deviously close to the sexy, mature woman’s captive, shuffling feet.
What have I gotten myself into, thought Diane. I think I’m a very ticklish person.
She began reading a story concerning the results of the Iowa caucuses and which democratic presidential candidate came out on top. Diane wore these sheer, white silk stockings that made her already smooth peds extra sensitive. Frank methodically dragged his index fingers down the veteran reporter’s manicured soles. Diane resisted the urge to laugh but she couldn’t stop herself from twitching spasmodically in her chair; the sensations she felt enhanced by the silk stockings was driving poor Diane crazy.
The seemingly unbreakable pro repeatedly stopped in the middle of sentences, cleared her throat in substitution for ticklish giggles, and then started back up again. I’m a professional, she thought, I can do this even if my feet are being tickled. But the persistent finger-raking along the sides of Diane’s sensitive feet were taking their toll on her.
She went on to read that despite Governor Dean’s dominance in earlier polls, Iowa democrats were swayed enough by Senator Kerry’s message to cast their vote for him. That was when Sawyer exploded with a loud, high-pitched guffaw that crumbled all her efforts to maintain composure. Diane quickly tried to return to a somewhat dignified manner.
“Excuse me,” she offered, then cleared her throat.
But the ABC news vixen soon lost it again when the relentless Frank started to tickle Diane’s toes. The poor woman couldn’t even get a sentence out about what each candidates’ strategies were for a victory in New Hampshire because she just couldn’t stop laughing and wildly wiggling her restrained feet.
“Wait a minute...I can do this...wait,” laughed Diane.
She made several attempts to continue reading where she had left off, but every time she did she would have to apologize because she had stopped mid-sentence, collapsing in a fit of ticklish laughter, slapping an open hand down on the desktop repetitively.
As for Paula Zahn, tickle-lovers around the world had the privilege of watching the blonde babe succumb to foot-tickling on the globally-seen CNN program Paula Zahn Now. The lovely commentator had the most apathetic, unaffected look when she introduced her clip of how she tried to deliver a news report while having her feet played with and tickled.
I’m just going to read this piece and not crack a smile, Paula told herself, and none of these tickling freaks watching will ever know that I truly am ticklish on my feet.
Sam, one of the teamster guys who Ms. Zahn knew and liked well-enough to allow him the elation of being able to tickle her feet for a while, tucked himself below and prepared to give the shackled broadcaster the tickling of her life. Sam noticed that Paula was wearing black silk stockings and that her toes were already curled locked in the cutest little way.
Paula began reading an item regarding a decision by a California judge to move the Scott Peterson murder trial out of Modesto. Lucky Sam was quick to implement a meticulous exploration of Paula’s ticklish soles. He began at the base of her toes and scraped his fingernails down the sides of her feet, and curving into her wrinkled arches.
My god, that tickles, she thought, but she was able to maintain her composure.
Paula went on to say that the judge ruled that Peterson would not receive a fair trial in his hometown and that the case would be moved to San Mateo county, 90 miles away. Then Sam started to softly scratch and stroke the balls of Paula’s silk-clad soles, making her feet yank violently. She tightly shut her eyes momentarily with a defiant frown and shifted in her seat.
I just have to tell myself that it doesn’t tickle and everything will be just fine, she thought.
The crew member’s constant tickling was maddening for poor Paula; the balls of her feet were an especially ticklish area.
Oh, I hope I can hold up ’til the end of this piece, she contemplated. It tickles so much.
The attractive news figure proceeded with the report despite the torture that was going on out of sight of viewers. But Paula’s defenses were gradually wearing down. Her eyes would start to bulge with each successive, tickly touch. The squirming and tugging in her seat became more frequent, and finally the restless and hopelessly ticklish Paula Zahn lost her professional style altogether. She stopped mid-sentence and buried her face in her hands; everyone watching could see how her shoulders were shuddering that she was overwhelmed with ticklish laughter.
The bit that so many tickling enthusiasts begged to see was a hit; the ratings went through the roof. Network executives scrambled to come up with ideas to repeat the success of the previous project, and the name-dropping had begun. They wanted Jane Pauley, MSNBC’s Campbell Brown and Norah O’Donnell, Connie Chung, ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas, FOX News’ Claudia Cowan. There were so many prospects. It started yet another revolution in television, and immensely pleased sponsors who realized that sweeps week would never be the same again.
THE END
PAULA ZAHN
DIANE SAWYER
ANN CURRY
Starring in
“Sweeps Week”
(ticklish celebrity fiction)
It was that time again. “Sweeps Week” time that is. That exciting week in May when television networks air some of their more provocative and titillating programs for that crucial ratings boost which determines commercial rates for sponsors. Things like an episode of Fear Factor where a stunt goes horribly wrong and a contestant is air-lifted to a hospital, clinging for life, or a special episode of Will & Grace where Will claims to have overcome his homosexuality and wants to marry Grace.
Often viewers will flood network mailrooms with letters giving their ideas for what they’d like to see happen on their favorite shows. This time around though the three major TV networks were ambushed with tons of letters and e-mails that all had the same request. Coincidentally, these people were all identifying themselves as males between the ages of 18 and 49, a demographic that they knew to be the key “money demographic” to advertisers.
The letters and e-mails simply stated that they would really, really love to see television newswomen Katie Couric, Paula Zahn, Diane Sawyer, and Ann Curry have their feet tickled while trying to read a news story. In the past a network executive wouldn’t even consider such a silly suggestion, but in a day where ABC, NBC, and CBS must compete with not only each other, but three other minor broadcast networks, and over five hundred cable and satellite channels, network heads have been forced to compromise and push the envelope further than ever before.
***
Katie Couric, co-hostess of the Today show, was riding in her limousine down a busy Manhattan street with cell phone in hand and agent on the other end. She couldn’t help but show that famous girl-next-door smile of hers when he proposed the off-the-wall idea. It was as if the very suggestion of being tied to a chair and having her feet tickled while she read the news made Katie feel like bursting in a fit of titters.
“I don’t know if I really want to do this. I mean this is the craziest thing I ever heard. Besides I have ticklish feet.” giggled Katie.
Her agent tried to convince her that it would be a good career move and that the ratings would go through the roof; the ear-to-ear grinning sweetheart shrugged her shoulders, shook her head, and put her hand to her cheek at a loss for words, only promising that she’d think about it.
Meanwhile, Good Morning America fixture and respected journalist Diane Sawyer pauses in the makeup chair in her dressing room, listening to her agent pitch the idea, and getting a touchup before going on air. She turned her head to the left a bit to allow the beautician to apply some powder to her cheek.
“Now the basic premise is that Katie, Ann, Paula, and yourself try to read a news story while someone hiding under the desk is tickling your feet,” said the agent.
“Just Katie, Paula, Ann, and me?” asked Diane, who was amused by it all. “May I ask why there aren’t any men participating in this? I mean isn’t this a bit sexist?”
He replied, “Well, all the correspondents claim to be males eighteen to forty-nine, and that is the ‘money’ demographic, the demographic sponsors say spend the most money for the products they advertise. That’s what they want to see and that’s what the networks want to give them. It‘s just the business, Diane.”
“Well then, I guess we gotta give the public what they want.” laughed Diane, shrugging her shoulders in bewilderment.
On the set of CNN’s Paula Zahn Now, the star of the program, reporter Paula Zahn takes a personal call during a break. She flips open the compact cellular phone in her hand to hear the cheerful, comforting voice of her mediator. He too offered the same comical theme to the sexy blonde.
“Hmmm. Sounds tempting, but I think I’m gonna pass on this one.” Paula said. “I like to think of myself as a serious journalist, and subjecting myself to something that’s just not my style doesn’t really appeal to me.”
Needless to say, Paula’s agent wasn’t about to give up trying to persuade the esteemed newswoman to indulge this significant demographic, and that it would in no way hurt her career. But, he and the representatives of the other commentators had their work cut out for them, especially Today reporter Ann Curry’s agent. When she got word about what so many TV viewers had in mind the lovely brunette burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter claiming, “I don’t think I would be able to take that. I am extremely ticklish on my feet.”
***
Well, after several days of persistent, persuasive phone calls Katie, Paula, Diane, and Ann finally let their agents talk them into being team players and going along with this ridiculous bit. It took several weeks of planning though before producers came up with an idea venue. The segment was titled “No Laughing Matter”, and it was respectively aired on all three programs, Good Morning America, Paula Zahn Now, and Today, with each of the four lady news icons introducing their own part.
“On a lighter note today,” said Katie Couric, wearing an unbridled grin at the final few minutes of the show, “we have received tons of letters an e-mails at the Today show from predominantly male viewers, no doubt, who want to see me try to read a news story...while having my feet tickled.” She giggled. “I don’t know what on earth possessed me to actually do this, but as you’ll see in a moment it was a very interesting experience.” Then Katie signaled with her hand to cue the segment.
The queen of morning news was sitting attentively at a news desk getting ready to read a very weighty piece about a disastrous earthquake in Iran. What Today show watchers couldn’t see was that Katie’s ankles had been locked in velvet-lined, metal clasps which were fixed to the base of the chair; this left Katie’s nylon-clad soles tucked accessibly under her. Then, a very lucky stagehand named Chris was positioned out of sight below, right in front of Katie’s vulnerable tootsies.
The words on the teleprompter slowly scrolled as the cute brunette began speaking, thus giving the cue for the man with his fingers poised to start tickling. From the first touch the seasoned broadcaster twitched hard in her seat, widening her angst-ridden smile even more. Chris had merely ran a lone finger down Katie’s stocking-clad sole; it tickled her so much she could barely get out the first two sentences of the article without stuttering from the giggles she tried to suppress.
Katie’s delivery was noticeably hurried as her whole body tensed up. She went on to say that fatalities in the 6.1 magnitude quake totaled in the tens of thousands while fidgeting constantly in her chair; Chris was now dancing his digits briskly along the arch and ball of Katie’s right foot causing sporadic chortles to escape her mouth.
“Oh my god, I am sooo ticklish,” she admitted. Then she tried to continue the story, reading how poor building standards contributed to the vast structural damage the city suffered when the lucky union guy started to delicately drill his finger between the toes of the highly sensitive Couric. She shrieked. She had to clinch the edge of the desk or she surely would have fallen off the swivel chair; her foot jerked against the metal clasp her ankle was locked in, trying to break free, but it was all a useless effort.
“I’m sorry,” laughed Katie. “my feet are just so ticklish and this is a very serious report here.”
Later, it was Today’s Ann Curry’s turn to humiliate herself in front of America by revealing how low her threshold was for tickling. When they began playing her clip the Asian beauty was already hysterical, even before the actual tickling started. Ralph, another production crew member, was the next lucky tickler to hide behind the news desk while the hopelessly ticklish Ann Curry panicked and pondered how in the world she was going to get through this.
She was nearly out of breath just from the anticipation; she was trying to catch her breath so she could start reading the very grave article about a New Jersey woman arrested for leaving her three children in a house with no food for nearly a month. “I’m terrified,” Ann claimed. “Okay, okay, I’ll get through this.”
She took a deep breath, cleared her throat and began reading the piece with a straight face; that was when Ralph chimed in with a two-handed tickle assault on both of Ann’s nylon-clad soles. She screamed with a fierce shudder; it felt like a jolt of electricity had surged through her entire body. Her head fell to the desk and she banged her fist on the desk, laughing hysterically. She jerked back up suddenly when the crew guy resumed his tickle attack on her poor arches without warning.
“Okay...stop...stop...I’m sorry...I can’t do it!” Ann giggled.
They cut back to the studio shot where a surprised Matt Lauer turned to his adorable colleague and commented, “What happened to the report,” which made the off-camera crew laugh. “Wow, you really are ticklish, Ann.”
“Oh god, I really am,” she said. “My feet are the most ticklish spot on my body. I mean, I’m ticklish all over, but my feet are the worst place.”
Meanwhile, on ABC’s Good Morning America, a coy Diane Sawyer allowed her partner Charlie Gibson to introduce her embarrassing little endeavor into the world of tickling. The clip was played; she too sat competently at a news desk as Frank, a long-time member of the GMA production family, lived out every tickle fetishist’s fantasy, holding his eager fingers deviously close to the sexy, mature woman’s captive, shuffling feet.
What have I gotten myself into, thought Diane. I think I’m a very ticklish person.
She began reading a story concerning the results of the Iowa caucuses and which democratic presidential candidate came out on top. Diane wore these sheer, white silk stockings that made her already smooth peds extra sensitive. Frank methodically dragged his index fingers down the veteran reporter’s manicured soles. Diane resisted the urge to laugh but she couldn’t stop herself from twitching spasmodically in her chair; the sensations she felt enhanced by the silk stockings was driving poor Diane crazy.
The seemingly unbreakable pro repeatedly stopped in the middle of sentences, cleared her throat in substitution for ticklish giggles, and then started back up again. I’m a professional, she thought, I can do this even if my feet are being tickled. But the persistent finger-raking along the sides of Diane’s sensitive feet were taking their toll on her.
She went on to read that despite Governor Dean’s dominance in earlier polls, Iowa democrats were swayed enough by Senator Kerry’s message to cast their vote for him. That was when Sawyer exploded with a loud, high-pitched guffaw that crumbled all her efforts to maintain composure. Diane quickly tried to return to a somewhat dignified manner.
“Excuse me,” she offered, then cleared her throat.
But the ABC news vixen soon lost it again when the relentless Frank started to tickle Diane’s toes. The poor woman couldn’t even get a sentence out about what each candidates’ strategies were for a victory in New Hampshire because she just couldn’t stop laughing and wildly wiggling her restrained feet.
“Wait a minute...I can do this...wait,” laughed Diane.
She made several attempts to continue reading where she had left off, but every time she did she would have to apologize because she had stopped mid-sentence, collapsing in a fit of ticklish laughter, slapping an open hand down on the desktop repetitively.
As for Paula Zahn, tickle-lovers around the world had the privilege of watching the blonde babe succumb to foot-tickling on the globally-seen CNN program Paula Zahn Now. The lovely commentator had the most apathetic, unaffected look when she introduced her clip of how she tried to deliver a news report while having her feet played with and tickled.
I’m just going to read this piece and not crack a smile, Paula told herself, and none of these tickling freaks watching will ever know that I truly am ticklish on my feet.
Sam, one of the teamster guys who Ms. Zahn knew and liked well-enough to allow him the elation of being able to tickle her feet for a while, tucked himself below and prepared to give the shackled broadcaster the tickling of her life. Sam noticed that Paula was wearing black silk stockings and that her toes were already curled locked in the cutest little way.
Paula began reading an item regarding a decision by a California judge to move the Scott Peterson murder trial out of Modesto. Lucky Sam was quick to implement a meticulous exploration of Paula’s ticklish soles. He began at the base of her toes and scraped his fingernails down the sides of her feet, and curving into her wrinkled arches.
My god, that tickles, she thought, but she was able to maintain her composure.
Paula went on to say that the judge ruled that Peterson would not receive a fair trial in his hometown and that the case would be moved to San Mateo county, 90 miles away. Then Sam started to softly scratch and stroke the balls of Paula’s silk-clad soles, making her feet yank violently. She tightly shut her eyes momentarily with a defiant frown and shifted in her seat.
I just have to tell myself that it doesn’t tickle and everything will be just fine, she thought.
The crew member’s constant tickling was maddening for poor Paula; the balls of her feet were an especially ticklish area.
Oh, I hope I can hold up ’til the end of this piece, she contemplated. It tickles so much.
The attractive news figure proceeded with the report despite the torture that was going on out of sight of viewers. But Paula’s defenses were gradually wearing down. Her eyes would start to bulge with each successive, tickly touch. The squirming and tugging in her seat became more frequent, and finally the restless and hopelessly ticklish Paula Zahn lost her professional style altogether. She stopped mid-sentence and buried her face in her hands; everyone watching could see how her shoulders were shuddering that she was overwhelmed with ticklish laughter.
The bit that so many tickling enthusiasts begged to see was a hit; the ratings went through the roof. Network executives scrambled to come up with ideas to repeat the success of the previous project, and the name-dropping had begun. They wanted Jane Pauley, MSNBC’s Campbell Brown and Norah O’Donnell, Connie Chung, ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas, FOX News’ Claudia Cowan. There were so many prospects. It started yet another revolution in television, and immensely pleased sponsors who realized that sweeps week would never be the same again.
THE END
