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I will be becoming single again soon

tickleshotel

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May 7, 2001
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Hey there, many of you know me or have seen that I have been a
member of TMf for quite a long time..
I wanted to update the members here as to what is happening in my
life. I am a female ticklee,ler that has been into tickling since
I was 2 years old..I have been married to a guy that I do love very
much but he isn't into tickling and after having a long heart to heart discussion ,we both decided calmly that while there is alot
of love between us that he believes I will be happier meeting someone
that shares my passion for tickling . It is obvious he doesn't
want to attempt to work it out where he could tickle me a little at least to help fulfill my craving,hunger for being tickled .
So I will soon be single and will be making efforts to make it in person to some of the tickle gatherings .
 
Congratulations on your separation! Yes, people are celebrating these now. Although you are probably not that happy about this, be optimistic. You will have the chance to be very happy again.
 
I'm sorry to hear about the ending of your marriage. Did he know prior to your marriage about your love of tickling? Not that it really matters now or that it's any of my business. Although separated myself, I hate to see marriages end. I wish you well and I hope you find the perfect guy to share your passions with!:cool:
 
Sympathies and best wishes...

Whatever the reason(s), it is still a difficult thing to say goodbye to someone who represents such a large, important segment of your life...my best wishes on your recovery process. May you find what you need someday soon.

Q
 
Thank you all for the responses,best wishes and for good lucks..:)
Yes Kis he was aware of my love for tickling before we were married
however I think he didn;t know how deep seeded my love for tickling was,is..During our conversation I think he was enlightened and
dismayed that tickling is *not* something that I can turn on and off
like a lightbulb after I told him that tickling is the first thought
in the morning and the last before I go to sleep..He has interests,
fetishes himself that he has that he tells me he likes them but his
fetishes aren;t something he can't live without..it;s just a interest
he likes from time to time..
Yes it is sad that we are going to be ending a 6 year marriage
but at the same time I can only be assured that I have tried to
compromise to salvage ,have some middle ground that would make
us both happy but tickling is not one of his priorioties in
our relationship so if he wants no part in tickling at all ,then
I see no choice but to be single again and move on..
It's just confusing to me right now how if he truly honestly loves
me,then why is he so willing to let me go,be free?? If you
really loved a person,wouldn;t you try to give a little fight to
keep them???
 
i disagree hotel....i think he really does love you and thats why he is willing to let you go find someone that you are FULLY compatible with. tickling is obviously the largest part of your life and i think for you to be truly happy you HAVE to have someone thats into it, and he realizes that. i think by him willing to let you go find that person, he shows how much he really cares about you. if hes not into it, hes just not into it. things are what they are.
 
i too find this sad.

ticklehotel, you, and your husband have my sympathy.
my marriage has gone through rough spots too, but by that time we had kids so there was no lightly leaving eachother.
you are not in that position, there are no kids (that i have heard you mention) so you both can turn around and walk away.

if you want to give it one more try, i have a sugestion. my hypno-therapist my wife went to told us he had a couple that came in for hypnosis, same situation, one ived for tickling, the other wanted no part of it. so over a series of 3 sessions he got the unwilling partner to also go in for tickling. the tickling associates with something else the the person finds pleasurable, so they want to do it. ask your hubby if he'd try that, if he refuses out of hand, then there's more to this break-up that he's addmiting.

sympathies, and hopes.
steve
 
Really sorry to read this, lady. I remember meeting you two, and he seemed so into you...

Condolensces. :(

Steve's suggestion of a hypnotherapist may be a solution for you both. If he's willing to try to increase his desire to tickle you, and perhaps if you try to do for him something that he really desires, maybe there's still hope for you kids.

I'm always hopeful for such things. Been in one o' them "don't understand" sort of relationships, and it was a depressin' deal to experience at the end.

dvnc
 
Now I'm getting confused:rotate:

If he knew in advance that you had a tickling fetish, did he think it was going to go away? Did he think it was just a phase? Did he think that it was going to change?

I believe one of the most monumental mistakes we make in marriage happens BEFORE we get married. Two people get together and fall in love. They lover everything about each other and are ready to spend a lifetime together. But, there's that one thing about each other that makes them say to themselves "if only". That "if only" will come back to bite you in the rear end every single time. The "if only" is the one thing you find intolerable in a relationship and "if only" that person would change that opinion or behavior, they'd be perfect.

I tell my daughter regularly, when she starts dating to look for the "if only" as early in the relationship as possible. Once she finds it, she must ask herself one question: "Can I deal with this for the rest of my life if he never changes this?" If the answer is "no", run like hell! Do not pass go, do not collect 200.00, just run. If he (or she if you're a guy) is not willing to change before the marriage, it's highly unlikely that change will take place in the marriage either. And maybe that is why he is not so willing to fight for you. He sees your passion for tickling as the intolerable issue. I personally think it's stupid to divorce over this, but I'm not him and maybe he thinks he can do better next time around. Most likely, he'll find someone else with a passion or fetish he doesn't like either.

I've been separated for five years and my husband still tries to get back with me, knowing I'd just as soon eat glass and hurl myself from a window before going back to him (and yes for those who may be thinking it, there's a reason why I haven't divorced his sorry butt yet!). So I'm not sure why your husband is giving up without any type of fight.

When you find the tickle lover of your dreams, remember the "if only" before you get in too deep. Then you have a better chance of not ending up in divorce court again. And don't tell me you'll never marry again either--you're too beautiful, intelligent, and irrestible to be alone and will want to marry again some day when the pain of this marriage dies down.
 
Let me also add my wishes for the best in life and only happiness in the future.

May your morning, afternoons and evenings be ticklish indeed!
 
The best

Hope everything turns out for the best for you. Take care.
 
Thank you all that have also responded ,I really appreciate the
good wishes and sympathy :).
Dtrell,thank you for your response that gives me a little different
intrepration of why my husband isn;t putting up a fight. I hadn't
thought of the way that you describe that when you truly love someone
and you want them to be happy that sometimes you let them go to be
free ..
Thank you DVNC, I still recall meeting you as well even though that
was many years ago and we did have a good time at that gathering...
To this day, I think that he was going to the gathering with me because he was curious and mostly because he knew how badly I wanted
to attend and to meet others that shared my love for tickling and I
think that he couldn;t really tell me "NO" and rather than keep,prevent me from going he came along with me..
Thank you for the suggestion that hypn-therapy may be of assistance ..
Kis,thank you for your words about the "if only" and maybe he did
think I was going through a phase and I would outgrow it..But that
would be the furthest from the case because tickling has been a love
since childhood and every year goes by it keeps getting stronger ..
I understand your situation Kis but my hubby has mentioned that by
divorcing that it is "all or nothing " and that we will remain friends
but once things are final there will be no getting back together so I believe he has done alot of thinking and this really is the first time that he has expressed his feelings telling me he thinks I'll be happier with someone else..AWWWW your so sweet Kis,I really appreciate your compliments :D and maybe someday there will be someone else that sees me and loves me for who I am and that includes the whole package..not just part of me.
 
I'm sorry to hear that your marriage is breaking up. I'd like to think that if someone loves you, they'd at least be willing to experiment with something that makes you happy, like tickling. I've heard about people in relationships opening up their minds for the other's sake, but have not experienced it.

The person I'm dating now knows that I like tickling, but has told me that "she sees nothing fun about it," and (yikes!) "she hates tickling." For awhile, I thought she might come around and at least try a little, but it's not going to happen.

I've found that a lot of people just get too stubborn, and hard-strong. In a more perfect world, people would communicate better, or better yet, we'd all find our perfect partners. But, well...you know.

I sincerely hope it works out for you and that you find your soulmate. For that matter, I hope I do too.
 
Been there very recently sweetie

My own marriage of near 6 yrs just collapsd; the tickling WAS a factor, true but in my case, there were a whole host of other issues, including sadly physical violence. Basically, tho in my case it came down to sheer incompatibility, and tickling was just PART of that. But for most of us hre , tickling is such an integral part of who and what we are that we NEED to find someone who not only accepts it but is INTO it like we are
Right now I too am trying to learn to take things one day @ a time, get my life back together and when I am ready find someone who is suited to me.

My sympathies for thr collapse of the marriage, and my best wishes for good things, lasting ticklish and compatable relationships to come:D :cool:

Ghostie
 
im sorry to hear about your marriage, but just think, it's for the best. good luck to you, and im sure u'll be just fine when all the dust settles

best wishes;
~clair
 
I tell my daughter regularly, when she starts dating to look for the "if only" as early in the relationship as possible. Once she finds it, she must ask herself one question: "Can I deal with this for the rest of my life if he never changes this?" If the answer is "no", run like hell! Do not pass go, do not collect 200.00, just run. If he (or she if you're a guy) is not willing to change before the marriage, it's highly unlikely that change will take place in the marriage either.

This is soo true Kis...and people make this mistake all the time.
Oh when my boyfriend becomes my husband he will forget all about football on Sunday afternoons and spend the day with me at the mall...
Ummm No...your boyfriend/husband will still like to watch football on Sunday afternoons.

My point is you can't change someone just because you are married to them...

Anyway, tickleshotel, I hope everything turns out alright for you both...Best of luck, God Bless.
 
I am so sorry to hear that your marriage is breaking up. I wish you all the best cause you are a very sweet person. Hope you find the right person and all the happiness you deserve. :D :D :p
 
Oh, just realized I didn't actually SAY it - find one of US to marry! It's SO much easier to marry one of us. EVERY adult that marries has stuff to resolve with a partner, as every one of us was raised just a little different, and has different personalities, etc.

After all, we're a more equalist society. No dominant gender, socially, etc. Means we have to collaborate, cooperate, and work with and/or around each other's faults. Ask my wife. She works around SO many of mine!

Seriously, though, find one of us, figure out what you can live with, and what you'd HAVE to have changed, and propose that you change YOUR stuff if they change theirs. People that don't change to improve themselves for a partner end up very lonely.

Can't change what drives you, sexually. Hardwired.

Hence, find one of us, and work from there.

You, like I, have already done it the other way. Can last quite a while before becoming completely unworkable. Best to get to the workable part, soon.

Good luck!

dvnc
 
tickleshotel, I’m so sorry. divorce is scary stuff. but it sounds like it is ending while you can still like each other. that’s a good thing.

my advice would be to take DVNC’s advice. you’ll end up happier than you thought was even possible.
 
meeting one of US

DVNC suggested that you try to meet someone from this forum and Ayla agreed. I agree that it's a nice idea. But, to be honest, I find that to be a longshot. I'm not trying to shed a negative light on anything, just making an observation.

Have there been any couples who met on the TMF and later got married? Any testimonials?
 
Last edited:
BBE...

I personally know of a couple weddings coming up in next year or so...

XOXO
 
Re: BBE...

steph said:
I personally know of a couple weddings coming up in next year or so...

XOXO

Kewl! Nice to know it's possible. It probably depends on where you live, and some luck wouldn't hurt matters either :)
 
Boy -

You have increased your popularity after this announcement. See - there are some good results that come from this.
 
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