mabus
10-08-2004, 12:56 AM
I always loved Siskel and Ebert because they were two of the few movie critics who actually critiqued movies, and didn't use their critique to make themselves sound like geniuses of wit like almost every magazine critic. "Brad Pitt's hairstyle sucked, so therefore, the movie sucked.." or some stupid crap like that that you'll get in People or whatever.
When Ebert had on all those guest critics, most of those pinheads were of the magazine bunch - idiots. But Richard Roeper was good, and he's also very funny, and not in the "look at how funny and obnoxious I am" way. He has actual real wit. I stumbled upon his columns on Drudge's site and decided to post one here, along with his archive:
http://www.suntimes.com/index/roeper.html
.........................................
9/11 leaves behind trail of strange happenings
September 9, 2004
BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
We knew the tragic events of 9/11/01 would change American life forever. We knew things would never be the same. The war on terror would become the dominant cause of our times.
The days of breezing through airport security or walking into any downtown office complex with nothing but a friendly wave to the guard on duty -- gone forever.
If there was news of an explosion in a building, a shooting spree in a workplace or a school, or an airplane going down, the first question would have to be, "Is it the work of terrorists?"
Saturday marks the third anniversary of Sept. 11, a date that continues to have a unique, slightly chilling identity. Even now, weddings and special occasions that fall on Sept. 11 feel a little ... different. Who knows how much time will have to go by before that stigma fades.
In the meantime, the post-Sept. 11 fallout continues. Here's just a small sampling from my ever-growing list of some of the strangest, saddest and silliest stories of the post-9/11 era.
***
Reno/Tahoe International Airport was shut down when an employee said she had been attacked by a gun-wielding man. The woman later admitted she had invented the story as a cover because she had been drinking vodka at the airport bar.
***
On 9/11/02, the winning numbers in one of the New York state lotteries were 9 ... 1 ... 1.
***
Starbucks pulled more than 10,000 posters from circulation because one New Yorker complained that the picture of a dragonfly buzzing two giant drink cups was reminiscent of the planes heading toward the World Trade Center.
***
Sen. Ted Kennedy and former Vice President Al Gore were detained multiple times by airport security, either in random checks or because their names popped up on some computer.
***
Concourses at the airport in New Orleans were evacuated after a suspicious package was spotted in a restroom.
It was gumbo.
***
On 9/11/01, United Nations security guard Darius Marshall was injured by debris from the World Trade Center and was missing for 13 hours until family members found him on a ferry that was being used as a first aid station.
Two years later, Marshall was again on a ferry -- the Staten Island ferry that crashed at St. George Terminal, injuring dozens and killing 10, including Marshall.
***
John Healy, an attorney who worked in the World Trade Center, was late for work on Sept. 11, as he was dropping his daughter off at school. That saved his life.
But Healy also was killed in the Staten Island ferry crash.
***
Geraldo Rivera followed American fighting forces to Iraq and told viewers: "I've got a New York City Fire Department hat that I want to put on ... the head of [Osama bin Laden's] corpse. It's deeply personal, on one hand. On the other hand, it is my professional calling."
***
Cleaning out my office for the Sun-Times' impending move, I found one of the hundreds of souvenir items produced in the wake of 9/11: a medallion imprinted with the Manhattan skyline and the phrases "God Bless America" and "United We Stand." It was made from scrap metal from Ground Zero. Price: $29.95.
***
Untold numbers of young women, including Nicole Richie as well as a bartender who was featured in this column, were flagged by airport security personnel because of their nipple piercings.
***
A man named Richard Bizarro was arrested after exhibiting, well, bizarre behavior on a Delta flight from L.A. to Salt Lake City.
***
As many as a dozen New York City firefighters have left their wives to take up with 9/11 widows. A recent "Oprah" show on "Extreme Breakups" featured two of the women whose husbands had left them and their children. It was absolutely heartbreaking.
***
For a brief time in October 2001, we flew into an Anthrax Panic. Every time a powdery substance was spilled, emergency units were summoned and buildings were evacuated. An airplane was actually held on a runway in San Jose for three hours after a passenger opened a greeting card and confetti flew out.
***
Security scares also led to a run on duct tape, which seemed vital at the time. Anybody know where their duct tape is these days?
***
An 86-year-old man was held up at an airport checkpoint while idiot security guards passed around his Congressional Medal of Honor and tried to decide if the man could take it with him.
***
And most stunning of all: the mass killings of 9/11 created a chain of events that led to a war that has claimed the lives of 1,000 young American men and women.
When Ebert had on all those guest critics, most of those pinheads were of the magazine bunch - idiots. But Richard Roeper was good, and he's also very funny, and not in the "look at how funny and obnoxious I am" way. He has actual real wit. I stumbled upon his columns on Drudge's site and decided to post one here, along with his archive:
http://www.suntimes.com/index/roeper.html
.........................................
9/11 leaves behind trail of strange happenings
September 9, 2004
BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
We knew the tragic events of 9/11/01 would change American life forever. We knew things would never be the same. The war on terror would become the dominant cause of our times.
The days of breezing through airport security or walking into any downtown office complex with nothing but a friendly wave to the guard on duty -- gone forever.
If there was news of an explosion in a building, a shooting spree in a workplace or a school, or an airplane going down, the first question would have to be, "Is it the work of terrorists?"
Saturday marks the third anniversary of Sept. 11, a date that continues to have a unique, slightly chilling identity. Even now, weddings and special occasions that fall on Sept. 11 feel a little ... different. Who knows how much time will have to go by before that stigma fades.
In the meantime, the post-Sept. 11 fallout continues. Here's just a small sampling from my ever-growing list of some of the strangest, saddest and silliest stories of the post-9/11 era.
***
Reno/Tahoe International Airport was shut down when an employee said she had been attacked by a gun-wielding man. The woman later admitted she had invented the story as a cover because she had been drinking vodka at the airport bar.
***
On 9/11/02, the winning numbers in one of the New York state lotteries were 9 ... 1 ... 1.
***
Starbucks pulled more than 10,000 posters from circulation because one New Yorker complained that the picture of a dragonfly buzzing two giant drink cups was reminiscent of the planes heading toward the World Trade Center.
***
Sen. Ted Kennedy and former Vice President Al Gore were detained multiple times by airport security, either in random checks or because their names popped up on some computer.
***
Concourses at the airport in New Orleans were evacuated after a suspicious package was spotted in a restroom.
It was gumbo.
***
On 9/11/01, United Nations security guard Darius Marshall was injured by debris from the World Trade Center and was missing for 13 hours until family members found him on a ferry that was being used as a first aid station.
Two years later, Marshall was again on a ferry -- the Staten Island ferry that crashed at St. George Terminal, injuring dozens and killing 10, including Marshall.
***
John Healy, an attorney who worked in the World Trade Center, was late for work on Sept. 11, as he was dropping his daughter off at school. That saved his life.
But Healy also was killed in the Staten Island ferry crash.
***
Geraldo Rivera followed American fighting forces to Iraq and told viewers: "I've got a New York City Fire Department hat that I want to put on ... the head of [Osama bin Laden's] corpse. It's deeply personal, on one hand. On the other hand, it is my professional calling."
***
Cleaning out my office for the Sun-Times' impending move, I found one of the hundreds of souvenir items produced in the wake of 9/11: a medallion imprinted with the Manhattan skyline and the phrases "God Bless America" and "United We Stand." It was made from scrap metal from Ground Zero. Price: $29.95.
***
Untold numbers of young women, including Nicole Richie as well as a bartender who was featured in this column, were flagged by airport security personnel because of their nipple piercings.
***
A man named Richard Bizarro was arrested after exhibiting, well, bizarre behavior on a Delta flight from L.A. to Salt Lake City.
***
As many as a dozen New York City firefighters have left their wives to take up with 9/11 widows. A recent "Oprah" show on "Extreme Breakups" featured two of the women whose husbands had left them and their children. It was absolutely heartbreaking.
***
For a brief time in October 2001, we flew into an Anthrax Panic. Every time a powdery substance was spilled, emergency units were summoned and buildings were evacuated. An airplane was actually held on a runway in San Jose for three hours after a passenger opened a greeting card and confetti flew out.
***
Security scares also led to a run on duct tape, which seemed vital at the time. Anybody know where their duct tape is these days?
***
An 86-year-old man was held up at an airport checkpoint while idiot security guards passed around his Congressional Medal of Honor and tried to decide if the man could take it with him.
***
And most stunning of all: the mass killings of 9/11 created a chain of events that led to a war that has claimed the lives of 1,000 young American men and women.