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My mother forwarded these to me last night

blondie46

1st Level Orange Feather
Joined
May 16, 2005
Messages
2,049
Points
0
Actual entries On Hospital Charts
--------------------------------

01. The patient refused autopsy.

02. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

03. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

04. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.

05. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

06. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.

07. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.

08. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

09. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has 2 teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
I cracked up at these! I spend most of my days buried in charts so I am so familiar. One of my most favorite was:

"patient was given an autopsy and discharged home in stable condition"

and another

"patient was advised to follow up with Dr. ******* in one week with an autopsy recommended"
 
I will finish nursing school in a few days, ticklkitten, so some of these made me laugh hard. Glad to pass on laughs to others. :)
 
seems interesting enough, sorry but I didn't laugh...
 
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