View Full Version : Famous Last Words...
11-23-2001, 04:47 PM
Some Famous Last Words throughout history...
"Mother, I've just met the most wonderful man..." - Marie Antoinette
"Mother, I've just met the most wonderful man..." - Patty Hearst
"You need a fourth for poker, Mr. Corleone? Sure, I'll be right over..." - Jimmy Hoffa
"Honey, I found the perfect babysitter for tonight..." - Mrs. Charles Lindburgh
"Do you blokes mind if my girlfriend hangs out with us? It might do us boys some good..." - John Lennon
"This kid is gonna take us to the Super Bowl!" - the guy who signed Ryan Leaf
"Snub fighters? Puh-leeeze!" - Grand Moff Tarkin, Death Star Commander
"Yes, I filled the tank, now gimme a kiss and let me get going, ok hun?" - Amelia Earhart
"An island in the Mediterranean? Sounds good to me..." - Napolean Bonaparte
"You always liked Gabriel best!" - Lucifer
"Has anyone seen my lighter?" - David Koresh
"Tell the deli I want Double-Meat on that, John..." - Mama Cass Elliot
"Yes, yes, yes I'm ok to drive...gimme the keys..." - James Dean
"Yes, yes, yes I'm ok to fly...start her up..." - John Denver
"Vader? I'm sure he's over that by now..." - Obi-Wan Kenobi
"Well, Courtney, it sure looks like a water bong..." - Kurt Cobain
"You want me to put my wrists in those, Jeff? Sure, sounds like fun..." - Narin
"See how cute they are, Micheal? Look how nice they play together..." - God
"Sure you can do a trooper slide on water...watch this..." - Bob, Titanic helmsman
"Oh, Clark, Do Me! Do me as hard as you can you big stud..." - Lois Lane
(I have more, but there's this funny-looking white truck that just pulled into my driveway...)
11-23-2001, 05:52 PM
1) Gee, They seemed alright at the dance last night.
2) Forward to the Little Big Horn; And Victory!!
3) Did you ever see so many F*cking Indians in your Life??!!
-Gen. George Armstrong Custer
<Laughing> Why be afraid of those rebel sharpshooters? Why, they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance.
-Gen. John Sedgewick
Russia.........Yes; great Idea, Goering, they'll never know what hit 'em!!!
Is that one of our Planes?
- Civil Defence warden; Hiroshima, Japan
Texas...I wanted to go to California but Noooooooo...
Gotta light? -Joan of Arc
Steer closer to that iceburg...I thought I saw a walrus.
Lets call it Glitter!
New Coke...let's go with it!
-Former Coke executive
11-23-2001, 07:02 PM
A few from Germany:
- No traffic from the right, said the co-driver as they approached a crossing...
- So far everything's okay, said the man falling from a highrise as he had passed another ten floors...
- This is going to be a bad week, said Marie Antoinette as she was led to the guillotine on a Monday...
- Now that's a funny taste, said Socrates as he drained the cup of hemlock...
- I was right not to trust thin men, said Caesar as Brutus stabbed him...
- Champagne! Champagne! croaked the high-society snob as he got lost in the Sahara...
- Why don't I just delete that post? said the TMF mod...
11-23-2001, 07:21 PM
TRUE ones -
"Thanks for helping me up, as for the coming down, I trust I can take care of myself." St. Thomas Moore as the executioner helps him up to the guillotine.
"Turn me over, please. I'm done on this side." St. Lawrence as he was being roasted alive.
"Can you pour some of that over my shoulder? It's rather cold." St. Louis as he was being boiled in oil.
GAG ones -
"They told me I'd lose my head if I din't watch my temper!" John the Baptist.
"Just a little off the front." St Maria Gorretti as she was torn apart by her lustful father for refusing his advances.
"Strike one!...You call that a pitch?!" St. Stephen as he was stoned by the crowd.
:::music/singng::: "Upside down...you turn me..." St. Peter as he was being crucified.
Who says Catholics have no sense of humor? ;)
11-24-2001, 04:38 PM
Mrs. Custer wanted a painting done to commemerate her late husband. she hired this young artist and told him that she wanted a painting of her husbands last thoughts.
A week later he shows up with the painting.
"What is this?", she asks.
"It's your husbands last thoughts," the artist replies.
"But all I see is Indians fornicating, and cows with halos."
"That's right, your husbands last thought was, 'Holy cow! Will you look at all those f*cking Indians!'"
11-24-2001, 08:36 PM
I thought I'd throw in one of my favorites...
"I drank what?" -Socrates
11-25-2001, 03:02 AM
"What the fuck is that?" --Mayor of Hiroshima
11-25-2001, 03:41 AM
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) noticed that big 4 x 4 pickup trucks were involved in a large number of fatal accidents. They started a program of installing aircraft-type Black Boxes in those vehicles, to determine the events leading up to the wreck.
In 49 of the 50 states, the driver's last words were, "Oh, shit!"
In Alabama, it was "Hey, y'all, somebody hold my beer. Watch THIS shit!"
11-26-2001, 12:04 PM
Those sure are good. Dave, did you say you had more of those? You should definately post them. Humor is the key to comfort.
11-26-2001, 03:41 PM
"At last I will die the death of a martyr and live in the lap of...I'm going where....????? Uh-oh....."
-- Osama bin Laden
11-26-2001, 05:01 PM
"Take that you son of a bitch!" - final words of mobster Mike Genna, shot in the abdomen, as he kicked a stretcher bearer trying to load him into an ambulance.
12-14-2001, 05:28 PM
What did the redneck say right before he died? "Hey everybody! Watch this!
12-16-2001, 12:43 AM
three way tie for southern rednecks:
1)Hey Y'all watch this!
2)I can too!
3)I saw this shit on TV!
12-16-2001, 10:47 PM
duhuhuhuh...I wonder if this thing's loaded
06-20-2004, 10:26 AM
My Grandfather: Fuck me, a bus!
06-21-2004, 05:06 AM
"What's that you found? Let me see it..." - Smeagol
"Yes, Sigfreid, I fed him already!" - Roy
"Mom, I just met the most wonderful girl!" - Sean Combs
"Mom, I just met the most wonderful girl!" - Ben Affleck
"Mom, I just met the most wonderful girl!" - Marc Anthony
"They're gonna LOVE us over there!" - George W. Bush
"It's cute, but the fit's a little tight..." - Janet Jackson
"Fourth time's the charm!" - Marv Levy, Head Coach: Buffalo Bills
"Man, I need a shower after that!" - Every hot chick in every slasher flick
"Come on, sweetie, I'll give you a ride home." - Eddie Murphy
"You call this brisque? I wouldn't serve that in prison!" - Martha Stewart
"YYEAAHHHGGGHHHH!!!!" - Howard Dean
"Well, Gary Cherone's available." - Eddie Van Halen
"Man, I could use a vacation! You know, just chill out and not move for about six months..." - Han Solo
"Ben and Jennifer together in one film? We'll make a fortune!" - The guy who produced Gigli
"Dustin and Warren together in one film? We'll make a fortune!" - The guy who produced Ishtar
"I think people will like us even more without the make-up!" - Paul Stanley
"It was a college film! No one's gonna care about that..." - Sarah Kozer
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