England put in to bat by the sheep stealers.......

[red indian]

.....and we score 407 runs on the first day! bring it on you convicts!!!

[Oddjob0226]

Once again.... no clue.... but it reads beautifully.

[CurtWild]

how the hell do you play cricket

[chrisheaven]

Usually many runs scored at Edgbaston
Interesting to note that the Aussies' main strike bowler is now injured

[Moses25]

how the hell do you play cricketA bunch of limeys stand around tossing their balls at each other.

It's considered quite civilized in the UK.

Cheers.

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

how the hell do you play cricketCricket?

Hell, I thought he was talking about prison sex... :wow:

[Oddjob0226]

Cricket?

Hell, I thought he was talking about prison sex... :wow:

Yeah, that whole "tossing balls at each other" thing kind of threw me off.

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Well yeah. That and the whole 'convicts' thing. And the 'put in to bat', and the 'sheep-stealers'. I figured they might be new terms inmates used for horrible acts.

I've been scarred ever since I learned what 'salad-tossing' meant... :xlime:

[red indian]

....next you will be telling me, Base Ball is a totally rational and simple ball game.

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

What exactly do you mean by the terms Base Ball and Ball Game? Are these some sort of bathhouse code for deviant sex acts?

Okay already, I'll stop with that nonsense. I don't even watch any sports with any regularity. There's no time to, anymore.

If I was going to tune in, though, it'd have to be something reaallllyy interesting, like Human Tetherball, or Sewerpipe Spelunking, or Frisbee-Tag With Claymore Mines or Naked Iceskating Derby(it'd be like the rollerskating women's teams they used to have in the wee hours in the early 70's, `cept on ice, naked, with spankings...).

I am literally incapable of sitting through an inning of any given baseball game, let alone the commercial-breaks. The dullest sport (next to golf and bowling), with the dullest ads.

[The Pianist]

.....and we score 407 runs on the first day! bring it on you convicts!!!

And only 182 on the second day... that ain't so fantastic.

Then again, its now stumps and we have to get 107 with 2 wickets to spare... it doesn't look all that great I guess.

Still, theres 3 more matches to go....

That means theres heaps of time for you whinging pommies to crash and burn yet. :p

[BigJim]

What I want to know is, where the smeg did the sixth test match go? For decades home Ashes series always had six tests: one each at Trent Bridge, Lords, Headingley, Edgebaston, Old Trafford and The Oval. Now with this mania for getting in as many matches against as many opponents as possible we've had to drop it to five.

The TCCB take arseing, smegging, buggering, sporking note! Ashes summers are holy and sacred! Ditch whoever else the opposition is considered for that summer and let us and the convicts do our thing with no interruptions!

Well yeah. That and the whole 'convicts' thing. And the 'put in to bat', and the 'sheep-stealers'. I figured they might be new terms inmates used for horrible acts.

I've been scarred ever since I learned what 'salad-tossing' meant... :xlime:

"Sheep stealers" and "convicts" being English nicknames for the Aussies, because 99% of the white population of Australia are descendants of people who were forcibly transported to Australia in the days when it was the British Empire's main prison colony. Sort of the Gitmo of it's day.

As for salad tossing, wellthat ain't always Caesar dressing you can see there. :wow:

And only 182 on the second day... that ain't so fantastic.

Then again, its now stumps and we have to get 107 with 2 wickets to spare... it doesn't look all that great I guess.

Still, theres 3 more matches to go....

That means theres heaps of time for you whinging pommies to crash and burn yet. :p

We always lose at Lords anyway, especially against you gits. It's a given. All-square and three matches to go promises a good series to come. Providing they don't bring Giles back on to bowl at Shane Warne of course. That happens and the crows will all be suffering with stiff necks.

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

"Sheep stealers" and "convicts" being English nicknames for the Aussies, because 99% of the white population of Australia are descendants of people who were forcibly transported to Australia in the days when it was the British Empire's main prison colony. Sort of the Gitmo of it's day.

As for salad tossing, wellthat ain't always Caesar dressing you can see there. :wow:

Ha Ha! I know, BigJim! I was just being a prick. :devil2:

[BigJim]

Nice to know I'm not the only one. :D

[red indian]

....dont talk yourself down so much, you do it better than anyone.

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

....dont talk yourself down so much, you do it better than anyone.
I only really hate you when you're right...

...which just happens to be quite often. :disgust:

[The Pianist]

:eek:

THAT... is called Luck.

England wins by two runs. Thats only after failing to get out two tail enders for a good hundred runs.

You were almost beaten by two guys that arn't supposed to be able to bat.



But yeah, you won, so well done I guess...

[BigJim]

Considering your top six batted like colts I reckon Lee and Kaspy deserved that last fling. And I don't feel a moment's guilt over that last wicket being really not out because you smeggers had two caught behind's yesterday that made me wonder if Rudi Kirtchen has been taking lessons in umpiring from Shakoor Rana.

[chrisheaven]

Great victory----by 2 runs!!

[red indian]

.....are happy to take victories over us any way they can get them, so should we.

What a great advert for the game this test series is turning out to be though! come on lads! you can do it, lets send them home to finish their sentances in defeat!

[BigJim]

Eighteen years without the Ashes has been long enough, hasn't it?

[john_smith]

England Won By 2 Runs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!flintoff Is My Hero

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

There sure are alotta Brits on this board!

I thought you blokes went in for the corporal punishment stuff more than the tickling. Are there any British tickling fetish producers? I'd like to see their take on our favorite fetish. :xpulcy:

[The Pianist]

I guess there is one good thing about it all which one of my friends brought up...

It did mean that we did get 3 days worth of what could've been 1 day cricket. It was fantastic to watch regardless of whether we lost or not.

[chrisheaven]

bravo, England

[BigJim]

There sure are alotta Brits on this board!

I thought you blokes went in for the corporal punishment stuff more than the tickling. Are there any British tickling fetish producers? I'd like to see their take on our favorite fetish. :xpulcy:


Yeah... me. :D

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=52376

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=56454

And you never heard of bastinado? Corporal punishment on the soles of the bare feet it is, and damnably sensitive it makes the soles too. :devil:

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Yeah... me. :D

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=52376

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=56454

And you never heard of bastinado? Corporal punishment on the soles of the bare feet it is, and damnably sensitive it makes the soles too. :devil:Sweet, Jim! Are those available in both PAL and NTSC video format? Just think: you are practically the vanguard for British tickling. I'm sure there's more out there, but I don't know of any other producers at present. I've seen one long video called "Spy Training", with afew British girls on a big bed, taking turns pinning one another down for tickling, but that's all I can think of at the moment.

I always thought the Bastinados would be very painful, but I bet you're right about the sensitizing aspect. Still: Ouch!

[BigJim]

Sweet, Jim! Are those available in both PAL and NTSC video format? Just think: you are practically the vanguard for British tickling. I'm sure there's more out there, but I don't know of any other producers at present. I've seen one long video called "Spy Training", with afew British girls on a big bed, taking turns pinning one another down for tickling, but that's all I can think of at the moment.

There's been British tickling video producers before me, they just haven't used the TMF or created their own British tickling community. That and my well-known loud-mouthedness gives me a bit of a higher profile.

At the the mo I've only shared a few samples with a few people. They aren't available in the way TC or MTP sell vids, because it would take a change in personal circumstances for me to be able to do that. Drop me an e-mail if you want to see more of the pics though.

I always thought the Bastinados would be very painful, but I bet you're right about the sensitizing aspect. Still: Ouch!

It is painful obviously, but the effect depends on what you're doing, how you do it and what you do it with. Bamboo cane will cut skin like a knife, a belt that's too long will curl around the foot and do serious damage to the tendons. I tend to use a riding crop, a short leather hide belt and ... an elastic band. That last one is for fun mainly. Put it around the foot and tickle away for a while, then stretch it out and let it snap back against the bare sole for a good squeal. :devil: With any luck I'll use a bit of bastinado in video four.

[Newcastle Uni]

Well done to that man Flintoff. He was outstanding in the second test at Edgebaston. So was Pieterson - first time i've really seen him bat properly and he won my respect.
I'd say England's first innings of the second test is the most exciting cricket game i've watched (for a test match). It was more like a limited overs game than a test match. In fact the score of 5 an over is probably better than many teams would do in a restricted overs game.

[BigJim]

Pieterson is Wally Hammond re-born! God it did my heart good to see him twatting that poncified fatty git Warne for six after six. Flintoff reminds me very much if Ian Botham in both style of play and personality: it's good being a Lancahire supporter these days! You've gotta believe our chances of going back up are good if Flintoff can be spared from his "Team England" contract a few more times.

I'm not sure I like the overall approach to test cricket these days though. I'm not overly for more caution, but I think we could get higher scores without playing every test like a 20-20 game.

[red indian]

.....looks like Brett Lee and Shane Warne have picked up injuries for the third test starting on thursday.

[BigJim]

Fatty's got a tweak as well? Well my heart just pumps purple piss for them, doesn't it? :D

[Nige]

.....looks like Brett Lee and Shane Warne have picked up injuries for the third test starting on thursday.

What a shame :D

[Newcastle Uni]

What a shame :D

I don't like the look of Brett Lee

[BigJim]

You'd like it even less if you were stood at the striker's end waiting for his run-up.