View Full Version : Bah, Humbug; or, Misery Loves Company
11-26-2001, 06:50 PM
If the holidays are without a doubt your most favoritest time of year, you might want to skip this thread and find another.
But if you're like me and you face the holidays with grim determination to get through them without killing yourself or others, then pour that slimy eggnog down the sink, grab yourself a real drink, and share the reason you dread the season.
I'll get the ball rolling. Dad died at the holidays 18 years ago; Mom did the same two years ago; and almost exactly a year ago died the funniest man I have ever met, my sweetheart for ten years, my friend for 30.
Add to that the general pressures like shopping, social and professional obligations, and trying to get anything done during holiday-impacted schedules. And don't forget the huge letdown afterwards. Once the holidays are over the coldest, nastiest part of winter lies ahead, deep and crisp and even.
You'll notice I haven't referred to holy days, just holidays. There are several holy days during the holiday season but my beef isn't with them. So please don't post here about their magic, power or glory. I'd rather hear why you find this season tragic, dour or gory.
PS: Just to end on a lighter note: :bunny:
11-26-2001, 08:34 PM
Well I can relate somewhat as Dad died just before Thanksgiving
12 years ago. I didn't want to celebrate anything for years until I ran into an old friend of his who said to me " too bad, I know how much he LOVED celebrating the holidays with you kids." That got me to thinking, crying, and getting angry all over again. Mostly because I knew how right his friend was.
Growing up with Mom and Dad was great. Christmas time was always the best. When he died I felt as though he took the holidays with him.
Now I have the magic of the eyes of a 2 year old to look through. I
realized that I have to try to do for him what Dad did for me. He gave me a good sense of family, friendship and love. Things that I hope
my kids remember me for some day.
Don't know if this helps at all, but when I finish drying my eyes I know that I'll feel a little better. (still miss him)
11-26-2001, 08:46 PM
I've lost so many people, all around this time of year, and most died badly. My sister, then her daughter a few years later,( my niece...but we adopted her, so more like a daughter), both sets of grandparents within 3 years, 2 right on Xmas eve, my step sister and 2 of my best friends. There were car accidents, drug overdoses, cancer, AIDs, diabetes and a train wreck. I can't seem to shake some of these deaths...they have festered inside my tiny little soul and soured me on both religion and many aspects of humanity in general. Sorry i don't live a bit closer EQ, but I'll hoist a few for your dearly departed, and wish you a speedy January as well. Q
11-26-2001, 08:51 PM
I just hate all the bullshit that it's become. For all the words of love and peace and harmony, there are an awful lot of mean, nasty people around the malls this time of year....
11-26-2001, 10:35 PM
Yup...mostly behind the cash registers around here! Good help is impossible to find...even the elves are getting taller. Q
11-26-2001, 11:21 PM
ahhhh the holidays are'nt so bad...albeit a little too commercialized though....i work in retail..blah....but hey it makes alot of people happy if just for a short time....its an unfortunate side effect of the holidays though that while it makes some people happy...it compounds others pain..especially when someone has lost someone during the holday season. i never have....but for me....(and i'm not saying for anyone else) it wouldnt matter if i lost anyone during the holiday season or any other time of the year but only because i dont try to associate things like that....i guess the only person i ever lost that was close to me was my grandmother. i couldnt even tell you what day she passed...i think it was in june...but thats not to important to me..whats important was remembering the fun we had together and how great she was...and i dont need a date or certain time of the year to do that. i can do that any time of the year. as for winter ...yeah it gets pretty cold and dreary...but that just makes springtime seem that much sweeter:) im not trying to make light of anybodys loss..everyone deals in their own way...im just trying to say..remember them for who they were..and not when they went. it might be easier to slide thru the holiday season. i hope.
on the brighter side we could all get together and beat up a couple of mall santas.:D
11-27-2001, 12:21 AM
EQ, didn't you say elsewhere that you had no children? Maybe you should borrow a few from one of your sibs. It's hard to stay glum when a little one sees the goodies under the tree, and her face lights up with...GREED! Q, you sour old bastard, if you don't do a Christmas blowout for your new adopted daughter, I'll send Wallstreet and Red Indian to your house.
11-27-2001, 08:31 AM
As usual, Strel is correct(well...one in a row anyway). Kids are the cure-all for the blues, especially at this time of year. This season is also fraught with opportunity for humor...my favorite is to be reading the newspaper around a 5 year old amd exclaim over the "accident" in the paper involving a chubby guy in a red suit with some kind of animals...very sad...all laid up, no hope of recovery before January! Might as well put the tree in the garage......;) Q
11-27-2001, 09:48 AM
Oh well, Xmas is the time when you spend money you don't really have for presents nobody really needs, to give them to people you don't really like. It is the time for pretending to love people you normally hate. At Xmas you eat so much it makes you tired and fat, but at the same time you eat too much to sleep well, or to jog off the excess calories.
I think I know exactly how you feel, E.(Evilqueen or Ebenezer?) Scrooge… :cry1:
11-27-2001, 10:42 AM
The holidays are better for me now than they used to be. I really struggled while I was dealing with past abuse issues, though. I remember not wanting to go "play nice-nice" when allI wnte to do at the time was punch my father's lights out...and maybe add his privates to the guts of the turkey. Anyway, I did tell him to go f*** himself and storm out of the house...only to have to turn around and go back for my keys. It was a miserable Christmas, with me crying through most of it.
I got married this past summer. This will be our first Christmas together as husband and wife. I'm counting on that to be a tonic to sooth things. We'll be in Florida for Christmas week...fighting crowds there rather than here. Hopefully, we'll all get through it in one piece.
Used to hate the holidays. Absolutely dreaded 'em. I don't, anymore, oddly. Part of it is having separated from someone that added to the tension, whose family made me (and her) crazy. Not havin' that mess is splendid. Beyond that, havin' two strokes sorta makes it hard to have a bad year, for me. Everything seems better than strokes, y'know?
This year, I get t'watch my friends' kids get all excited 'bout the holiday, and there's several tickling related events, including the New Years Gathering, which is four days long this year.
I still don't dig the facetious present-giving competitions and annoyances of shopping, but I just don't deal with it much. I grit my teeth, shop for presents surgically, and at the end of the day, that's my Christmas torment. Like another on this thread, I'm goin' away for the holiday. Goin' t'Reno or Tahoe, t'act up wit' ma and some o' her friend.
It's wrecking my cynicism. I used to hate the holidays, and now, they're largely ignorable. It's the friends and family part I dig. The rest I rather successfully avoid, for the most part, and tolerate when I can't.
11-28-2001, 04:40 PM
Garrison Keilor described the Holidays as a carbon-copy of the Elian Gonzoles Story:Trapped in a House w/ Bitter, Crazy Relatives until The Atty. Gen. of the US. sends over an armed Posse to bust you out.
So much presure is on to ENJOY the Holidays that it's an effort to deal w/ them at times. Hang in there E.Q....we're ALL here for ya, Darlin'.
11-28-2001, 05:10 PM
I can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose someone during the holidays. At a time when emotions already run overtime then to have that added event or memory must make it very difficult.
I've not lost anyone during the holidays but I've noticed myself seeking any and all pictures of my dad that might have been taken around Christmas. He passed on a year ago in September and I'm missing him SO much right now. I almost think it's more a delayed grieving rather than holiday blues though. I'm filling my time with something he absolutely loved... family and friends in the kitchen.
Holidays for me are a fun time for all involved. This year, to ease some of the shopping craziness (that I actually enjoy probably because I hate shopping period but everyone is so much fun!), we're making or baking all the Christmas gifts this year. That was an agreement across my entire family. We're not getting caught up in the craziness in the mall, just the craziness in the kitchen baking every type of cookie imaginable. I've bought bright pretty tins to pack everything in.
That, to me, is holiday joy. Spending time with friends and family. The smell of cooking baking in the oven (I always burn the first batch though!) along with some hot chocolate and a fire in the fireplace. Dad was the Fudge Guy in our family. He was diabetic so he not only made the regular fudge (with and without nuts) but he also made sugar-free fudge and cookies.
So this year my brothers families and I are all carrying on the tradition and baking.
I hope there is some way you can take the memory of those you've lost and turn it around into something special. Try to find someway to bring them into your holiday still even though they're not physically here. It might raise some tears but it might also help you through this painful time by remembering them in a special way. Just remember... Those tears are just Liquid Love. Let it flow baby! It's good for the soul!
11-29-2001, 04:58 PM
Not being the most devout Christian myself (or even a Christian at all), I find it a hard time to get excited about the (supposed) birthday of Christ. First of all, the wrath of fundamental Christianity has ruined the lives of a lot of my good friends. Plus, Christmas seems so fake and commercialized to me. More people know about Santa Claus than Jesus Christ; and a time of gift-giving is more a time of gift-GETTING for the children. Why do we have to pick one time of the year to actually be decent to strangers?
Bleh. Bah humbug indeed.
11-29-2001, 06:00 PM
Thanks, everyone, for quaffing from my curdled cup of holiday joy.:D It cheered me right up! Hope it made you feel better to share, too.
Strelnikov and others speak true when they say the holidays are brighter viewed through the eyes of a child. Including the ones I'm related to, there are about 15 in my immediate circle, from 18 months to 18 years and up (but still kids to us old folk).
QB, the easiest cookies to make are those 7-layer bars...you find the recipe on cans of sweetened condensed milk. Those who have received them in the past know to nibble in moderation. But it's so much fun to watch a newbie wolf down three or four at once and then spend the next hour pinging off the walls.
Here's a little parody I wrote for the first guy who ever really tied me up. Hope it brightens your day the way y'all brighten mine.
The Fright Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring - except Al, the louse,
Who'd tied me up tight with the greatest of care,
In hopes of suspending me up in the air.
My crotch rope was nestled all snug down below
And I gasped as I squirmed back and forth, to and fro;
And I in my ball gag, and Al in his hood,
Both knew that, this time, I was in for no good.
A huge wooden frame set with eye-hooks and rings
Was the evil device from which I would swing.
Al pounced upon me; and then in a flash
My ankles were parted, and hoisted, and lashed.
The ropes on my breasts gleamed like new-fallen snow
As I hung upside-down in my terrible tableau;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Al dressed like Santa, in a red suit and beard.
"What the hell are you doing?" The words came out gagged.
"And what have you got inside of that bag?"
Al simply smiled, "This bag is for you.
You'll be glad to get in it before I get through."
The touch of his hands on my nipples and thighs
Made me swoon, and I soon filled the room with my sighs.
Then, holding the tip of his beard like a feather,
Al tickled my body, still so tightly tethered
That all I could do was quiver and shake,
And giggle and scream, and beg for a break!
Al showed me no mercy, but kept me confined
And tickled me till I went out of my mind.
When he finally lowered me back on the rug,
I lay there as dizzy as if I'd been drugged.
Al rolled me easily into his sack
And, picking me up, slung me over his back.
To his van I was carried; to his driver he whistled
And away we all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere we drove out of sight,
"There's nothing like tying a girl good and tight!"
a nonsmoker for....let's see....18 hours and counting....
11-29-2001, 06:16 PM
EQ... What an AWESOME poem! I'll have to share some of mine with you soon as well.
as far as the baking goes.... You said...
"QB, the easiest cookies to make are those 7-layer bars...you find the recipe on cans of sweetened condensed milk. Those who have received them in the past know to nibble in moderation. But it's so much fun to watch a newbie wolf down three or four at once and then spend the next hour pinging off the walls."
Those 7 layer Bars are AWESOME! Warm straight from the oven with a glass of ice cold milk. Yummy! and I'm generally the one pinging off the walls!
evilqueen, yer my new hero. bondage and tickling in poetry...
11-29-2001, 07:25 PM
I think that in the holidays have a chance at being meaning.They have a chance that is, if they can escpae the effects that have been downtrodden upon them over the years. It is only in the failure to recognize true meaning that has ruined the holidays. In the chance that we may look past spending our entire years income on presents and decorating our house for one month, there may be a chance. Oh well, we may never live to see it. But I guess I am free to do all the dreaming that I want.
11-30-2001, 05:36 PM
You can live to see what the true meaning of Christmas is by starting those types of traditions in your own families or with your friends.
Instead of spending money of toys or that commercial side of Christmas start a tradition of donating money or your time to a charity. And make it a monthly thing, not just during the holidays. Go help with a Habitat for Humanity building project. Sort food at the food bank. Help at a soup kitchen. Those types of activities help not only the community but also help YOU to feel more involved with the spirit.
Or do something like our family is doing this year. We're getting away from all the material stuff and getting back to that which is most precious... Spending time together. No store bought presents, just home baked goodies or crafts from the home. It's much more fun. I'm baking this weekend doing cookies and gingerbread houses. So the baking sheets will be out in full force this weekend. And it's a family event so several of the nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters-in-law will be at my house this weekend.
Now THAT's what the holiday should be about.
11-30-2001, 07:08 PM
That works if you happen to LIKE most of your family, QB, which is obviously the situation in your case. If I handcrafted gifts for my nephews and nieces, there'd be a revolt...lol. The theory is good, but I don't really enjoy the company of most of my relatives. My older sister, though an IQ genius, is a moron socially. Many of my cousins are just plain mean boned fools, and I suffer them none too gladly even on the best of occasions. As we discussed previously on this thread, many of my truly beloved died within the last decade, leaving me with these malcontents and whiners. My wifes family are Holocaust survivors, and there is basically no extended family at all on that side, other than an uncle in Germany, a mother who is indescribably unpleasant(even to her daughters), and a sister who doesn't celebrate Xmas or much else....I'll stick to my friends and my dogs! Glad to hear you're doing what makes you feel best though!
EvilQueen...awesome as always! I was hoping for some elves in the story though...lol. :wow: Q
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