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Master feathers
12-13-2001, 07:16 PM
The sun reflected brightly off the jet black limo as it glided thru the tree lined country road.It's five occupants peered out the tinted windows at the bucolic scene rushing past them.Rolling hills and bubbling brooks added to the beauty of the early fall countryside.Anticipation and excitement were evident in their faces ,as each one thought about the coming school year.They were new students being transported to the prestigious Lady Conway's School.All of the young women were former honor students at their respective high schools and had earned the right to attend this most influential of all the excellent small women's colleges to be found in the world.The girls that attended the school came from the far corners of the globe.Their very powerful and successful parents were heads of state,real estate tycoons,as well as men and women considerd experts in the fields of research, law and medicine.Graduates of the school would one day also occupy postions such as these.Rosa Bene was a dark haired beauty from the Dominican Republic.Her small frame belied the fact that her breasts were full and round,her thighs a bit fleshy but sensual.Light coffee colored skin accentuated her dark brown eyes ,her lovely face framed by brown curly hair to her shoulders .She laughed with gusto as she chatted with her new found friend ,Sonja Neilson,a tall blue eyed blonde from Sweden.Sonja had classic nordic looks on a somewhat tall frame with small breasts and legs that seemed to stretch forever.Her blonde hair ,cut in a modern shag style.Janet Mutumbo sat quietly thinking.Janet was the first girl from an African nation to attend the school .She was apprenhensive bout doing well there .The pride of her nation was depending on her .Standing almost 6 feet she gave off an aura of regality.Janet's body was best described as an athletic one.Well defined legs and tight round butt,with a trim tight stomach,made heads turn when she walked past.Her skin was an almost luminous mahogany.Janet's face framed by long intricately weaved braids.The last two occupants of the limo,Michelle Linh and Gabriella DeLuca . Michelle was a very petite girl probably standing at no more than five feet. Her somewhat thin figure offset by a beautiful asian face with soft brown almond shaped eyes and long silky black hair.Her friendly disposition was evident to all that knew her in her native Hong Kong. Gabriella had shoulder length reddish brown hair and a figure that most young women would envy. Full lips and dark piercing eyes immediately command attention. Breast high and full with long legs and round heartshaped butt, completed this vision of Italian American lovliness. She was brought up in a seemingly blue collar environment ,but her family lived in relative splendor. Her father was known to get what he wanted. Gabriella however was protected from this ,becoming a good student by her own hard work. Excitedly looking out the windows the young women saw a large imposing iron gate which automaticly drew open as the limo approach it. In the distance a Gothic style residence could be seen.They had arrived at Lady Conway's School.

Dave2112
12-14-2001, 02:35 PM
This is a cool set-up! Can't wait to see what happens.

If I could offer a little advice without sounding critical (which I'm not), try separating your sentences a bit more into paragraphs...makes for a more pleasureable read. That's just a presentation tip, nothing to knock the story itself.

Hurry with Part II...:D

Master feathers
12-14-2001, 09:23 PM
Thank you Dave for your encouraging words.I have read many of your stories in the past,and respect your writing abilities.Please dont hesitate to give me pointers as you read my story ,i welcome your help .....Master feathers

dig dug dog
12-16-2001, 01:53 PM
Yes, MF,

I concur with Dave. Using paragraphs helps the reader a lot--both with ease of reading and with understanding. It also indicates that the writer cares about his reading "public"--it's not just his stream of consciousness journal entry.

Thank you for being one of the people who gives of his time and energy for the benefit of all our members!

dig dug

Master feathers
12-17-2001, 05:01 PM
Hi dig dug dog thanks for finding the time to help me along in this new endeaver.As i had told Dave,i truly welcome all advice as to how i can make my writing a more enjoyable experience for the readers.