Dave2112
12-16-2001, 01:47 AM
(A few people have been asking me about the duck references in my posts. Venray was particularly curious, so I thought I'd go ahead and repost this little joke for those of you out of the loop...)
Marauder, Myriads and I died one horrific day in a bizarre gardening accident. (The police said that some things were simply meant to remain…unsolved)
We were of course sent directly to Hell, where we were greeted at the Black Gate by Lucifer himself.
“Boys,” he says, “I kinda like the work you did up there, so I’m gonna let you have the run of the upper level. But you MUST follow one rule. Don’t step on a duck! They’re all former lawyers and there’s a million of them down here. If one starts quacking, they all start quacking and drives me out of my friggin’ mind. So stay off the ducks, or you’ll receive pure, embarrassing, humiliating torture for all eternity.”
Marauder goes about fifteen seconds before stepping on a duck. It lets out a mighty quack and starts a chain reaction. Lucifer appears and waves his hand. Marauder is immediately stripped down to his tiger-print bikini briefs (don’t ask) and locked in a set of stocks. Hundreds of girls that he’d tickled in his life came forward to turn the former world-champion tickle-torturer to a pile of Jello for eternity.
Myriads fared much better, lasting several days before stepping on a duck. Lucifer again appeared and with a wave of the hand, the great tickler was hanging by his wrists, tickled by disembodied feathers, eternally in motion.
I was extremely careful and several months had gone by with no flattened fowl. One day, out of the blue, Lucifer appears and waves his hand. In front of me is Priscilla James, naked and shackled down to a tickle-table.
Having new respect for the Lord of Darkness, I said aloud,
“What did I do to deserve this?!?!?”
Priscilla turned her head to me and said,
“Well, I don’t know what you did, but I stepped on a duck.!!”
Marauder, Myriads and I died one horrific day in a bizarre gardening accident. (The police said that some things were simply meant to remain…unsolved)
We were of course sent directly to Hell, where we were greeted at the Black Gate by Lucifer himself.
“Boys,” he says, “I kinda like the work you did up there, so I’m gonna let you have the run of the upper level. But you MUST follow one rule. Don’t step on a duck! They’re all former lawyers and there’s a million of them down here. If one starts quacking, they all start quacking and drives me out of my friggin’ mind. So stay off the ducks, or you’ll receive pure, embarrassing, humiliating torture for all eternity.”
Marauder goes about fifteen seconds before stepping on a duck. It lets out a mighty quack and starts a chain reaction. Lucifer appears and waves his hand. Marauder is immediately stripped down to his tiger-print bikini briefs (don’t ask) and locked in a set of stocks. Hundreds of girls that he’d tickled in his life came forward to turn the former world-champion tickle-torturer to a pile of Jello for eternity.
Myriads fared much better, lasting several days before stepping on a duck. Lucifer again appeared and with a wave of the hand, the great tickler was hanging by his wrists, tickled by disembodied feathers, eternally in motion.
I was extremely careful and several months had gone by with no flattened fowl. One day, out of the blue, Lucifer appears and waves his hand. In front of me is Priscilla James, naked and shackled down to a tickle-table.
Having new respect for the Lord of Darkness, I said aloud,
“What did I do to deserve this?!?!?”
Priscilla turned her head to me and said,
“Well, I don’t know what you did, but I stepped on a duck.!!”