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First attempt

shadow365

TMF Expert
Joined
Jan 26, 2006
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Well, here it is, let's see if that BA in English is actually going to pay off! Leave me a lot of comments.
________________________________________________________________

Ashley had closed the store thousands of times. It was second nature to her now; lock away the valuable merchandise, cash out the drawer, balance the books, lock the safe, head home. It was a simple procedure, normally there were two people present at closing time just as a safety measure, but Lisa’s youngest daughter had a school performance so Ashley told her to go. She could handle closing by herself. She even decided to go the extra mile and straighten up some shelves. She kicked off her shoes and began straightening some staplers on the bottom shelf.

He had been watching her for days now. The flow of her dark brown, the way her hips swayed back and forth as she danced across the floor in her black nylons. He envied her short skirt’s ability to cling to her, hugging her muscular legs like wet cloth. He wanted her, but he wanted that money more. If he didn’t pay of his gambling debts soon he would never have a woman again and he wasn’t prepared to risk getting implicated by traces of DNA left on some nineteen year old store clerk. No, not that, not yet, he would just go in, threaten her and she would hand him the money, it would be as simple as that. All that was left now was to wait. After all, for the first time all week she forgot to lock the door.

Ashley struggled to reach the top shelf. Even standing on the step stool she was still on her tip-toes and her tiny black sweater rose up, suspended just below her breasts. Her stomach flinched as her new; dangly bellybutton ring swung back and forth grazing the tanned flesh just below her navel. “There, that should do it” Ashley said as she finished straightening the last of the boxes of paper clips. All that was left was cashing up. She grabbed the drawer out of the register and headed back to the office. It really wasn’t much of an office; at least Ashley had never thought so. The only thing office-like about it was the fact that there was a desk, other than that it was pretty much a storage room. Brown cardboard boxes loaded with teaching supplies stacked everywhere and empty tubes from used up craft roll paper were scattered haphazardly across the floor. The safe was tucked away neatly in the corner. She began to count the money when she realized that she hadn’t locked the door. Cashing out the drawer never took her very long, so she just let it go.

His hand gripped the cold steel of the door handle and his sweaty palm paused as his heart began to race. He had never done anything illegal before, well, nothing more than a little under the table gambling and a couple parking tickets here and there. Oh well, there was a first time for everything, and it was either this or his knee caps, and he really liked his knee caps right where they were. Slowly he pulled on the door and it came open and he slipped inside. He let the door shut, keeping a hand on it to prevent it from making any noise. Deep breath. “I can do this,” he thought. He began his trek back towards the office.

Ashley was just finishing up counting the money when she heard something fall from inside the store.

“Fuck, I knocked something over,” he thought as he began to pick up the canister of pencils. The movement on the shelf began to shift other things so he let the pencils lie.
OK, there was definitely someone in the store, that was more noise than the usually creeks of the old rented building. Ashley threw the money bag in the safe and quietly clicked the door closed. She started to reach for the office phone when the door knob slowly began to twist.

His heart was racing like tribal drums; from inside his head it was just as loud. Another deep breath, the already twisted door knob of the office felt hot on his hand, or maybe it was his hand, and his nerves, and this night. Quickly he threw the door open.

Ashley was terrified, the door flung open and standing behind it was a man in a ski mask. All she could think about was all the episodes of “Cops” and all the Lifetime movies she never should have watched: she was going to be killed, or raped, or kidnapped: something awful was going to happen.

There she was, “Ashley” her name tag read. He figured he might as well do what he came for.

“Give me the money and nothing bad will happen.”

“I can’t the money is locked in the safe, please don’t shoot me.”

Shoot her, fuck; he didn’t even bring a gun; why didn’t he bring a gun?
“Well, open the safe and get the money out. I don’t have all night.”

“I don’t know the combination only the store managers have it, please just leave, take whatever you want from the store and leave me alone.”

He had no clue what to do next, he hadn’t counted on this, but something in her eyes made him not believe what she had said about the safe and besides if he left now she could call the cops before he had a chance to get away. Then when he got out of prison, bye-bye knee caps. So he did the only thing he could think of and grabbed a roll of packing tape from the desk and threw Ashley into the chair. He pulled her arms behind the chair and bound her wrists together with the tape, probably too much tape, but this was his first time so he didn’t know what to do. Then he walked around to the front and began binding her ankles together; he loved the way her nylon soles felt in his hand though it was hard to tell in the black stockings, from what he could see her feet looked perfect. He had to keep moving, he took the remaining tape from the roll and wrapped her waist to the chair like a seat belt and tossed the empty roll aside. He ripped the phone from the wall and went out into the store to drop the blinds that covered the store front and to decide what to do from there.

Tears began to stream down Ashley’s cheeks. She had no idea what to do. She tugged at her binds, but to no avail. Nobody would find her until morning; dead or alive. She wanted to call her mom, or her dad, or even her asshole brother in college. She felt the need to tell someone she loved them before whatever happened, happened. The only thing she could do was cry…and wait.
He couldn’t imagine what should come next. He didn’t want to hurt her; he began walking around the store. There were posters galore, and kids music, and tutoring books; anything a teacher could possibly need. He wandered into the craft section, November; the whole aisle was filled with Thanksgiving paraphernalia. Pilgrim hats, cardboard turkeys, kids recipe books, little Mayflowers, feathers; then he had a thought. He glanced down at the end of the aisle, there they were; Ashley’s discarded shoes. He glanced back at the feathers. “It’s worth a shot.” He laughed, and he began to collect supplies: feathers, paintbrushes, markers, pipe cleaners, ribbon, scissors, this was going to be an interesting night.

The doorknob began to turn again and Ashley’s breath became short and rapid. She truly believed she was about to die. He was carrying things from the store, he had taken what he wanted and now he was going to kill her.

“Last chance to tell me what the safe combination is, Girly.”

“I told you I don’t know it.” Her pleading eyes looked up at him in fear.

“Fine, I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.” He tried to hide his smile as he lifted her feet up onto a box marked “Dry Erase Markers”.
“Tell me, Ashley is it? Are you by any chance, ticklish?”

He wouldn’t, there was no way.

He began scrambling all the fingers on his right hand across the bottoms of her nylon covered soles. She was kicking like a mule and screaming like a banshee. “This might just work,” he thought.

“Hahahahaha no hahahahaha plleeeeeeeasssse schtopppphhhhh.”
Ashley was in absolute agony, she hadn’t been tickled since she was a little girl and she had forgotten how unbearable it was for her. This new sensation blitzkrieged her mind as his focus shifted from one foot the other and from her toes to her arch. “Oh my god, I can’t take it hahahahahahaha.”

He stopped. “Are you ready to talk then?”

“I told you I don’t have the combination. Please, no more tickling.”

“I don’t believe you.” With that, he gripped her nylons in his fingers and roughly tore them open exposing her light pink soles. He was right, they were perfect. His eyes followed the line of her high arch up to her perfectly painted, bubble shaped toes. He loved the way her eyes looked pleadingly as his fingers lowered onto her newly bared soles. Light scratching, that’s all it will take.

Upon exposure to this new sensation, Ashley couldn’t even laugh anymore, she just screamed and her jaw dropped in silent laughter and tears began to pour down her cheeks. This was more than she could take. Every time she curled her toes his focus shifted to her heal and if she arched them back in only got worse. The paintbrush wasn’t as effective, but she still squealed in ticklish hysteria from the thin bristles brushing the contours of her arch. Finally, a break.

“I know you’re ready to talk now, so let’s have it.” No?! Why is she doing this to herself? This is insane. Let’s see what else I can find. He picked up the scissors and she flinched as he started cutting down the middle of her sweater exposing her black bra and tanned stomach, god she was gorgeous. He put down the scissors and placed his index fingers in the center of her navel and lazily began to trace outwards, he loved the way the flesh of her stomach jumped. He made his way to her sides and dug in, kneading her ribs like they were dough, massaging his finger tips in between each one. He watched as her head thrashed from side to side and she tried to buck out of it, laughter poured from her perfect little mouth. God he wanted to kiss her, but he just kept tickling.

“Hahahaha NO NOT THERE HAHAHAHAHA PLEASE!” This was almost unbearable. Her mind twirled at the sensation of his fingers under her arms, sliding down her sides and scrambling all over her bare stomach. This was far worse than anything that she had ever experienced at any summer camp or sleep over, this was absolute torture. She felt his hands slide behind her and undo her bra, as he lifted up her perfect size 36C breasts fell neatly into place, her erect nipples indicated that she was enjoying this experience, was she? She began to think that she was. Now his fingers were lightly tickling the sides of her breasts and twirling around her nipples, she tried to moan and laugh at the same time from a result of the ticklish ecstasy flowing through her nerve endings; it was almost unbearable, she either wanted to die, or cum and she wasn’t sure which would happen first.

He was amazed at her ticklishness, not an inch of her body seemed desensitized to his touch, this had to be unbearable for her. Why won’t she just break? Did he even want her to break? It seems like she was enjoying this. He dropped to his knees and took her ankles into his hand. He lowered his chapped lips to her toes and noticed the total lack of aroma coming from her feet. He began methodically sliding and twirling his tongue between her toes and licking up the middle of her soles. “She’s screaming again,” He thought, “this must be horrible for her.” He just kept licking and sucking and intermittently scratching a finger or two down the center of her arch.

“AAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA mmmmmppphhh, god, no, oh god.” It tickled incredibly bad, but she wanted him not to stop she was seconds away from orgasm. His tongue felt torturously good between her toes, she felt a warm wetness growing between her legs when suddenly there was a crash of broken glass from in the store. She watched him panic and look out into the store, a look of fear began to cross his face. It must be the police, thank god. Still at the same time her body ached from the denial of climax, which began to die. Even if he started back up, it would take another hour to get to that point and that was something she could handle. She watched him reach out towards the back door handle when suddenly he turned, kissed her, and ran out. This man was severely confusing. The door knob began to twist again.
*********************
Jimmy “The Bull” Delphino surveyed the scene, there sitting in front of him was this gorgeous girl tied to a chair. Vince and Joey stood behind him mouths agape in raw lust. What the hell had happened here. “Alright sweet heart, where’s Frank? I know he’s here we saw his car out front. He owes me A LOT of fuckin’ money.” Jimmy was enraged. Says she doesn’t even know who Frank is, some nerve this one has. He looks again at her predicament and surveys the room, he picks up a stray feather from the desk and smiles. “Boys, I think I know how we can make this pretty little bird sing!” he says waving the feather in her general direction.

All Ashley could do was sob.
 
Nice. Your writing skills are certainly far above average! And the rest of it? HOT. :feets:
 
fantastic story. please say there is more? great descriptions and things were just getting good when those goons broke in. grrrrr your first attempt is terrific, keep it up please

isabeau
 
College boy eh? :D

Very, very good. A few more like this and you'll be well on your way to getting an archive. I've made a mental note of your name, shadow365, so I will be keeping an eye out for future work from you.

Always nice to see a new, talented, scribe of tickle fiction come along. I'm in the majority, no doubt, when I say we are all eagerly awaiting part two. Looking forward to more! :D


-Mantis


EDIT: I just noticed your signature, shadow365, and anyone who quotes the Boondock Saints can't be bad! Now...did you get the rope?
 
you must of had some prior writing experience to produce something of this calibour, it was great, truly unremarkable!
 
remarkable would be a better word than unremarkable ;) but yes, that was very sexy and the writing was great, I loved it! Hope to see a part 2!
 
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