...........Idiots Among us....And they REPRODUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tulipangel]

NEIGHBORHOOD IDIOT:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep...From Kansas City!

IDIOT S IN SECURITY:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT S IN PUBLIC SERVICE:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

CORPORATE IDIOTS:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights-stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

MORE IDIOTS IN PUBLIC SERVICE:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

MECHANICAL IDIOTS:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

STAYALERT!
They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE

[AfterTheRain]

Two days ago the neighbor kid tried to bust open a basketball with a sledge hammer and ended up with a concussion. If you saw his old man, and his older brother you'd realize things run in threes!

[tulipangel]

After,
LMAO IDIOTS! I swear! Unreal! LOL! Its sad in a way but tooooo funny!

[AfterTheRain]

I mean here I am outside watching a gorgeous sunset when this little dipshit goes outside, puts a Basket Ball on the ground, gets a sledge hammer and whacks the Basketball.

All I could do was cringe, laugh, get his old man, go back into my house and laugh my balls off!

[tulipangel]

I mean here I am outside watching a gorgeous sunset when this little dipshit goes outside, puts a Basket Ball on the ground, gets a sledge hammer and whacks the Basketball.

All I could do was cringe, laugh, get his old man, go back into my house and laugh my balls off!
HAHAHA stupid kid! Thats just being dumb! No brain!

[Mastertank1]

some of the worst remove themselves from the gene pool. :sowrong:
Google up the Darwin Awards and you'll see what I mean. :disgust:

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

[AfterTheRain]

I love the Darwins. I think my favorite is the one where the guys tried to get rid of their truck with a dynamite stick, and their dog fetched the dynamite and brought it back to them!

[tulipangel]

LOL! puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AfterTheRain]

Can you imagine the OH SHIT look on the guys faces when their dog fetched the dynamite!

[tulipangel]

Can you imagine the OH SHIT look on the guys faces when their dog fetched the dynamite!
LMAO bet he regrets teachin that trick eh?

[AfterTheRain]

I know a guy who was firing a mortar for mortar practice and after all his training never seemed to understand you do not ever put the mortar on your KNEE.

He ended up doing it TWICE in a year and broke both his thigh bones.

[tulipangel]

LMAO after ONE time you think he would get his brain workin :bouncybou

[LadyCat]

The guys got what they deserved... but the puppy?? oh man!

[AfterTheRain]

We didn't call him dim bulb for nothing!

[tulipangel]

We didn't call him dim bulb for nothing!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!

[AfterTheRain]

My neighbor, the guy who is the proud father of basketball head runs a part time roofing business and cannot understand why he rarely gets hired.

I GUESS it might be because on one of his jobs last summer he was on a roof, with roofing tar, heating it up with an open flame.

[tulipangel]

My neighbor, the guy who is the proud father of basketball head runs a part time roofing business and cannot understand why he rarely gets hired.

I GUESS it might be because on one of his jobs last summer he was on a roof, with roofing tar, heating it up with an open flame.
What a moron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AfterTheRain]

And a first class jackass. You should have seen him duke it out with the police because of some misunderstanding over aluminum soda cans! It was priceless!

[Aragon]

I live in an area that brothers and sisters openly date,no joking around. There was one kid when I was growing up that was trying to see how much gas was in the can, so he lit a match.

[Knox The Hatter]

MECHANICAL IDIOTS:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!


With as much as I've seen at my job, I have to say I don't think I'll see this. Our guys are only crazy.

[TicklishLurker]

You want stupid people? Work at a library - no kidding, I get the biggest idiots there.

Them: "Where are the biographies on Lincoln?" *as they stand right in front of them*

Me: "Right there under Lincoln."

Them: "You mean they're not under the author's name?!" :shock:

...........................

Them: *standing in adult fiction* "Where can I find books on auto repair? What do you mean they're upstairs?"

...........................

I've had people who had all the information written down for them by the reference librarians - then inform me they have never used a library before. When I was a kid you couldn't leave elementry school without knowing how. A clerk was yelled at by a woman who owed $30 for lost books, claiming she hadn't had a library card in 15 years, then she started screaming "IDENITY THEFT!" - like the first thing people do when they steal you idenity is go out and get a library card. A man screamed at a librarian who asked him to turn off his cellphone with the usual "My taxes pay your salary" bullshit. A woman yelled at me because her daughter couldn't check out the popup books. I just shelve them, lady, if you want to check them out talk to the children's librarian. They stand right in front of the reference desk and ask me where reference is. And there was the fellow who complained because the story time was too loud. Well, go sit on the adult's side then, buster.

[giantfan121262]

I got one.

I was in a liquor store and the person in front of me was carded. He shows him a card from the Braile Institute because he is legally blind. The cashier said, "That's not good enough, do you have a drivers license?".

Hellllo!!!

[tulipangel]

LMAO! OH MY GOSH! Tee Hee Hee!

[Illtcklu]

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep...From Kansas City!


Ahem! Didn't know that was public knowledge.

Truthfully I've never been inFood Service...................(right)

I got one!!!!

This farm hick wanted to see how high he could blow his hat on the Fourth of July. He put his straw hat on top a firecracker, and it blew it to dust!

Another bunch driving around in a car throwing firecrackers out the window. Well one guy in the back seat tried it, and it hit the window. The back windows were still rolled up!
When you open the door of that car you can still hear the BANG!

[isabeau]

I got one.

I was in a liquor store and the person in front of me was carded. He shows him a card from the Braile Institute because he is legally blind. The cashier said, "That's not good enough, do you have a drivers license?".

Hellllo!!!

:jester: :jester: :jester: :jester:

isabeau

[Knox The Hatter]

I've had people who had all the information written down for them by the reference librarians - then inform me they have never used a library before. When I was a kid you couldn't leave elementry school without knowing how. A clerk was yelled at by a woman who owed $30 for lost books, claiming she hadn't had a library card in 15 years, then she started screaming "IDENITY THEFT!" - like the first thing people do when they steal you idenity is go out and get a library card. A man screamed at a librarian who asked him to turn off his cellphone with the usual "My taxes pay your salary" bullshit. A woman yelled at me because her daughter couldn't check out the popup books. I just shelve them, lady, if you want to check them out talk to the children's librarian. They stand right in front of the reference desk and ask me where reference is. And there was the fellow who complained because the story time was too loud. Well, go sit on the adult's side then, buster.

"So, what's the problem?"
"Well, it seems that the past few mornings, the engine seems to crank just a tad slower than it usually does."
"Well, sir, it's been twenty degrees or colder the past few mornings."
"Listen, for $45,000, I want this car cranking the same every friggin' morning!"

I guess wherever you go, you have to deal with mental defectives on the other side of a counter.

[TicklishLurker]

I guess wherever you go, you have to deal with mental defectives on the other side of a counter.

Mm - some of the best ones are the people who show up before we open (which is 10 am).

Man stands right in front of the window where our hours are posted, reading the hours. It was about 9:15. Woman comes up, pulls on the door, sees it's locked, walks away. Now the man who has read the hours, seen the woman find out the door is locked, comes over and pulls on the door. :sowrong: Okay, mister, the locked door it going to magicially open before opening time just for you.

Another fellow waited from 8 am on. 9 am rolls around, he yanks on the door, then knocks on it real big, announcing "It's 9 o'clock!" Thankfully a librarian was there (people tend not to believe me cause I'm the low person on the totem poll and even though I'm 29, most people think I'm younger). She tells me we don't open till ten. He goes off to have some breakfast and comes back. Then whines the entire time about us not opening at 9 and not being as efficent(sp?) as the army. Yeah, bub, we're a PUBLIC LIBRARY. You want your old millitary library go and reenlist!

[tulipangel]

Mm - some of the best ones are the people who show up before we open (which is 10 am).

Man stands right in front of the window where our hours are posted, reading the hours. It was about 9:15. Woman comes up, pulls on the door, sees it's locked, walks away. Now the man who has read the hours, seen the woman find out the door is locked, comes over and pulls on the door. :sowrong: Okay, mister, the locked door it going to magicially open before opening time just for you.

Another fellow waited from 8 am on. 9 am rolls around, he yanks on the door, then knocks on it real big, announcing "It's 9 o'clock!" Thankfully a librarian was there (people tend not to believe me cause I'm the low person on the totem poll and even though I'm 29, most people think I'm younger). She tells me we don't open till ten. He goes off to have some breakfast and comes back. Then whines the entire time about us not opening at 9 and not being as efficent(sp?) as the army. Yeah, bub, we're a PUBLIC LIBRARY. You want your old millitary library go and reenlist!
OY VEY! People are morons! LOL!

[TicklishLurker]

OY VEY! People are morons! LOL!

Oh here's another one -

The Friends Of The Library are trying to raise money to build a new central library. To that end they put up a small bookstore that they're running in a moronic manner to begin with. (Only open 8 hours a week, prices too high, won't listen to reason - I recently had to throw away 4 HUGE trash bags full of books, they were probably between 25 or 55 gallons, I can't tell, three completely full, one 3/4ths full - that they left OUTSIDE TO GET RAINED ON AND GOT ALL MOLDY!) They don't want us to go through the donations cause if we find something good in good condiction we add it to our system. Well, they had us put up a sign saying to leave donations at the bookstore, not at the back door of the library.

So I drive in one morning - and our back door is completely blocked up by donations. Which means I have to move them all over to the bookstore. Now I took a look in, and the person who donated them would've done better to throw them straight into the dumpster, cut out the middleman. They were all moldy and nasty. But the Friends knew about the donation so I hauled them over.

You'd think that 1: Someone who owns enough books to fill up 15 big boxes would know how to read. 2: They'd be smart enough to know no one wants a book that's green and crawling.

[tulipangel]

Lurker, that person is a total @$$hole! Point blank! Not even worth the moron title! Just an @$$hole!

[Knox The Hatter]

Jami's in one of those places where you seriously have to consider just how the operation manages to function from day to day...is it by sheer luck?

The problems in my place are really the most common ones...e.g. my boss is too cheap to spend a dime to take a shit if the need arose. He does look like he's been holding it in for the past three weeks...

[TicklishLurker]

Jami's in one of those places where you seriously have to consider just how the operation manages to function from day to day...is it by sheer luck?

My coworkers are great - except for that idiot teenager, my boss is awesome. It's the PATRONS and the Friends Of The Library that are idiots! They really need one of those "Stupid" signs.

[some1somewhere]

Mm - some of the best ones are the people who show up before we open (which is 10 am).

Man stands right in front of the window where our hours are posted, reading the hours. It was about 9:15. Woman comes up, pulls on the door, sees it's locked, walks away. Now the man who has read the hours, seen the woman find out the door is locked, comes over and pulls on the door. :sowrong: Okay, mister, the locked door it going to magicially open before opening time just for you.

Yeah, when I worked for a cell phone company I saw this every morning. Everyone has to check the door.

[some1somewhere]

As a bartender I see idiots every day. But some take the cake. I used to get the "I think I know bartending jargon so I am cool" people. They would walk up to the bar and order a Hennessy straight up on the rocks. :rolleyes: I stare at them for a second before I ask them, "which do you want it straight up or on the rocks?"

[tulipangel]

As a bartender I see idiots every day. But some take the cake. I used to get the "I think I know bartending jargon so I am cool" people. They would walk up to the bar and order a Hennessy straight up on the rocks. :rolleyes: I stare at them for a second before I ask them, "which do you want it straight up or on the rocks?"
Im sure as a bartender you hear lots of crazy $hit! :)

[some1somewhere]

Im sure as a bartender you hear lots of crazy $hit! :)


Yeah, more than enough for one lifetime.

[Knox The Hatter]

Yeah, more than enough for one lifetime.

I had a friend back in high school who thought that bartenders basically existed so that they could listen to you lay all your problems on them, in exchange for sympathy and wisdom (life reflecting Frank Sinatra's recording of "One For My Baby"). How many of THESE individuals do you have to endure in a given night?

Could you imagine ME doing this, and having to put up with people like that? Oh, my God, it would be worth the price of admission!

[Knox The Hatter]

My coworkers are great - except for that idiot teenager, my boss is awesome. It's the PATRONS and the Friends Of The Library that are idiots! They really need one of those "Stupid" signs.

The whole concept of "Friends of the Library" makes me nauseous. Sounds like a bunch of not even well-meaning morons who think they know everything and get angry when they find out how insignificant they really are.

[TicklishLurker]

The whole concept of "Friends of the Library" makes me nauseous. Sounds like a bunch of not even well-meaning morons who think they know everything and get angry when they find out how insignificant they really are.

They're mostly made up of retired people.

The woman who took over going through the donations - and has since stepped down - is possibly an alcoholic (all the signs were there) and definantly a control freak. Now I'm employeed by the library, I take my orders from the Branch Manager, then the librarians, then the clerks in that order. However this woman tried to order me to help her instead. THEN turned around and forgot she asked me to do these things and yelled at the clerks, breaking into tears saying everyone hates her.

The man who's the head of the entire operation can get the city to do whatever he wants. He's that powerful. He decided instead of the speed bumps we asked for (we're on a corner with a 4-way stop, so people often race through to try and get past the cars waiting at the stop sign to turn right) to have the other street lowered down to one lane. Now we have even MORE people racing through. For the most part he's a nice guy, but in this he was an idiot.

Oh, and the city decided to put railings on the ramp to our door - railings where the book shipment is delivered every week day. So now the delivery guy, while waiting for the gate he's been begging for, has to climb over the railings.

I find it funny later on, but when it happens all I want to do is yell.

[tulipangel]

They're mostly made up of retired people.

The woman who took over going through the donations - and has since stepped down - is possibly an alcoholic (all the signs were there) and definantly a control freak. Now I'm employeed by the library, I take my orders from the Branch Manager, then the librarians, then the clerks in that order. However this woman tried to order me to help her instead. THEN turned around and forgot she asked me to do these things and yelled at the clerks, breaking into tears saying everyone hates her.

The man who's the head of the entire operation can get the city to do whatever he wants. He's that powerful. He decided instead of the speed bumps we asked for (we're on a corner with a 4-way stop, so people often race through to try and get past the cars waiting at the stop sign to turn right) to have the other street lowered down to one lane. Now we have even MORE people racing through. For the most part he's a nice guy, but in this he was an idiot.

Oh, and the city decided to put railings on the ramp to our door - railings where the book shipment is delivered every week day. So now the delivery guy, while waiting for the gate he's been begging for, has to climb over the railings.

I find it funny later on, but when it happens all I want to do is yell.
Do you work in Vegas???? The library that my Aunt worked in was like this! LOL

[slacker2114]

Two years ago, I worked as a flagger for a road construction crew. We were working in an upscale type of area, so naturally, you had to deal with rich assholes bitching the whole time. The company would announce in the newspaper a wekk in advance about the construction and would leave the annoucements in the paper all week, plus, the signs for construction would go up a couple days in advance to warn people.

One woman actually stopped in the middle of the road to have a bitch session with me, which was a big mistake for her:

Dumbass: Excuse me, but can you tell me how long you'll be working on this road?
Me: Just today and tomorrow.
Dumbass: Well, this is ridiculous! I use this road every day and there was no warning on this. They should let people know when they are going to do this kind of thing.
Me: They put the signs up 3 days ago. You didn't see them?
Dumbass: Yeah, but I didn't know it was for today. You should announce it in the paper or something.
Me (starting to get severely annoyed): Didn't you get the flyer in the mail?
Dumbass: No. What flyer?
Me: The company mailed out flyers about a week ago telling about the road work. They sent them to everyone who was going to be using the road today.
Dumbass: Oh. Well, my husband usually gets the mail so he might've thrown it out.

Two years later, I STILL laugh my ass off thinking about that one.

[TicklishLurker]

Do you work in Vegas???? The library that my Aunt worked in was like this! LOL

I wish! Then at least after dealing with the idiots I could go ride Star Trek: The Experience a few times, or go see Barry Manilow. Nah, I'm in Orange County, California. The most conservitive county in the state.

[Tamia78]

As a bartender I see idiots every day. But some take the cake. I used to get the "I think I know bartending jargon so I am cool" people. They would walk up to the bar and order a Hennessy straight up on the rocks. :rolleyes: I stare at them for a second before I ask them, "which do you want it straight up or on the rocks?"


Omg! Funny! Thanks, I needed that.... :blaugh:

[tulipangel]

People are all @$$holes! LOL What is wrong with them! Were they dropped on thier head? maybe! Geesh! I would have told her to shut up and sit on a rd flag!

[Bagelfather]

There was an auto parts store near my house in Spring Valley, CA that had a sign saying they were open 9am to 12pm. Those were the shortest hours of any store I have ever seen!

[tulipangel]

There was an auto parts store near my house in Spring Valley, CA that had a sign saying they were open 9am to 12pm. Those were the shortest hours of any store I have ever seen!
LMAO! lol really, I feel bad for these people's kids! I DO!