The Hamster....

[venray]

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."

"You're right," the guy says. "I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

"You have a deal, my friend," says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play...

"You're right... I've never seen anything like that before," says the bartender. "That hamster is really gifted."

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

"Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender.

"Watch this," replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing. The frog has a marvellous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

"It's a deal," says the guy. He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

"Are you some kind of nut?" asks the bartender. "You sold a singing frog for $300? It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Not Really, the man replies, "You see, the hamster is also a ventriloquist

[milagros317]

LMAO :p
I didn't see that coming. :D

[HeavenlyTickle]

I didn't see that coming. :DNor did I... and I still don't see it. :wow: :confused:

[milagros317]

The hamster can not only play the piano, but also sing and is a ventriloquist. The hamster was singing and throwing its voice to make it seem that the frog was singing. So the frog is worthless, just an ordinary frog. The mangy looking guy has tricked the other man into paying $300 for an ordinary frog.

[HeavenlyTickle]

The hamster can not only play the piano, but also sing and is a ventriloquist. The hamster was singing and throwing its voice to make it seem that the frog was singing. So the frog is worthless, just an ordinary frog. The mangy looking guy has tricked the other man into paying $300 for an ordinary frog.Ohhh I get it. :woot: Haha. :jester:


Thanks for explaining. Although I understood it before that of course. *cough* :angel:


And oooh... this proves that hamsters are smart. So :p to Venray and Kered. :D

[venray]

Ohhh I get it. :woot: Haha. :jester:




And oooh... this proves that hamsters are smart. So :p to Venray and Kered. :D


And they taste like chicken!!!.......... :veryhappy

[Illtcklu]

I also noted the hamsters name is not Florence.

[HeavenlyTickle]

I also noted the hamsters name is not Florence.Oh really? And what is it then? :rolleyes:

[Illtcklu]

Oh really? And what is it then? :rolleyes:
How the bleedin hell would I know???? I've never seen a hamster play piano and ventriloquist at the same time.

I only ever seen them play on their wheel, which btw I believe they have their own fetish site about that as well.

[HeavenlyTickle]

How the bleedin hell would I know????Lmao. I don't know. But I only just realised what you meant in the first place. :upsidedow

And, now that I get what you're blabbering on about... I will say this... the hamster didn't have a name... therefore it could have been Florence! http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e206/J4ZZYJ4ZZ/bleh.gifI've never seen a hamster play piano and ventriloquist at the same time.But you've seen one do them separately? :woot: Well, it wouldn't surprise me. :rolleyes:I only ever seen them play on their wheel, which btw I believe they have their own fetish site about that as well.Yeah... it's run by you isn't it? :p

[Illtcklu]

... I will say this... the hamster didn't have a name... therefore it could have been Florence!
Nope. It's a boy hamster.

[HeavenlyTickle]

Nope. It's a boy hamster.The joke doesn't specify which sex it is. :p And seeing as you clearly weren't there, you can't say. http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e206/J4ZZYJ4ZZ/tongue.gif

[Mastertank1]

The joke doesn't specify which sex it is. :p And seeing as you clearly weren't there, you can't say. http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e206/J4ZZYJ4ZZ/tongue.gif
Because Florence can be a male name as well as female name.
ever hear of the Broadway and Film producer of the 1920s-1930s, Flo Ziegfeld? Flo was short for Florence! And Flo was VERY male; ask any actress, singer or dancer who ever auditioned for one of his productions!
(In those days, there were no sexual harrassment laws!)

As for you Heavenly, I think you are badly in need of a good, looooonng tickling by an American master. I volunteer to take care of that for you, if you can manage to get out here to Pittsburgh! :wiseowl: :woot:

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

[HeavenlyTickle]

Because Florence can be a male name as well as female name.O 'ere we go... :rolleyes:ever hear of the Broadway and Film producer of the 1920s-1930s, Flo Ziegfeld?No sorry, I wasn't born 'til the 80s. :pFlo was short for Florence! And Flo was VERY male; ask any actress, singer or dancer who ever auditioned for one of his productions!
(In those days, there were no sexual harrassment laws!)Blimey. :wow:As for you Heavenly, I think you are badly in need of a good, looooonng tickling by an American master. I volunteer to take care of that for you, if you can manage to get out here to Pittsburgh! :wiseowl: :woot:*giggle* :couch:

But who will look after Florence while I'm gone? :shock:

You know I once had a hamster called Tickles. She used to sit on my shoulder and tickle my neck with her fur. See... you can even find ticklephiles in the Animal Kingdom. Although of course you knew that already... what with Illtcklu being a member here. :jester:

[kered]

I think making fun of hamsters is deplorable and I still refuse to be a part of this.

[HeavenlyTickle]

I think making fun of hamsters is deplorable and I still refuse to be a part of this in a pro cat thread.1) This is not a pro-cat thread! It's a pro-hamster thread! So nerrr to you. :p

2) Since when did you decide that it was deplorable? And if it is (well of course it is), why are still doing it? Hmmmm? :rolleyes:

[kered]

Who mentioned cats? :rolleyes:

[venray]

But who will look after Florence while I'm gone? :shock:

:jester:

I would be happy to ...er....Take care...of her for ya Love.... :firedevil

[HeavenlyTickle]

Who mentioned cats? :rolleyes:YOU!!!! Blimey... the scenile dementure's setting in... :eek:

[HeavenlyTickle]

I would be happy to ...er....Take care...of her for ya Love.... :firedevilHaha nice try. :p I'd rather leave her with a cat. :scared:

[venray]

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/6485/cat1a6vy.gifhttp://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9032/cat17in.gif

[Mastertank1]

about to travel to Holland to watch Arsenal play a Dutch team;
First drunken Cockney; 'ere now! Woi do they call the place Amsterdam?
Second drunken Cockney; 'cause hits all overrun wif dam' 'amsters, is woi!

Or is 'drunken Cockney' a redundant phrase, like 'criminal lawyer'?

Heavenly, sweet lady, by all means bring Florence with you! I love small furry animals of all kinds, and so far every one I've ever met has loved me too. :cat:

My last GF had three cats, two dogs and three ferrets. The first time I visited her apartment (I think you call them flats over there), she told me that they all might be shy because none of them take to strangers at first meeting.
As soon as I walked in and sat down, the eight little furpeople were climbing all over me saying hello. :woot:

It was surreal. There I was, talking to a girl I was on a second date with, with a ferret sitting on each shoulder, a third ferret curled up on top of my head, three small cats in my lap and a dog cuddled up to each hip, absent mindedly petting all of them at random as we spoke. Even by my standards, that was distinctly odd. :jester:

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

[HeavenlyTickle]

http://img86.imageshack.us/img86/6485/cat1a6vy.gifhttp://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9032/cat17in.gif:eek: You... you... you've ruined that picture!!! :shake:

[HeavenlyTickle]

about to travel to Holland to watch Arsenal play a Dutch team;
First drunken Cockney; 'ere now! Woi do they call the place Amsterdam?
Second drunken Cockney; 'cause hits all overrun wif dam' 'amsters, is woi!

Or is 'drunken Cockney' a redundant phrase, like 'criminal lawyer'?I have no idea. :upsidedow

I wish Amsterdam was overrun with hamsters. :D But unfortunately, the last time I went, it was overrun with pidgeons and tramps. :shake:Heavenly, sweet lady, by all means bring Florence with you! I love small furry animals of all kinds, and so far every one I've ever met has loved me too. :cat:

My last GF had three cats, two dogs and three ferrets. The first time I visited her apartment (I think you call them flats over there), she told me that they all might be shy because none of them take to strangers at first meeting.
As soon as I walked in and sat down, the eight little furpeople were climbing all over me saying hello. :woot:

It was surreal. There I was, talking to a girl I was on a second date with, with a ferret sitting on each shoulder, a third ferret curled up on top of my head, three small cats in my lap and a dog cuddled up to each hip, absent mindedly petting all of them at random as we spoke. Even by my standards, that was distinctly odd. :jester:Lmao. I can so imagine that. :jester: Maybe they thought you were one of them...? :wow:

[kered]

How many hamsters would it take to make a decent coat?

[HeavenlyTickle]

How many hamsters would it take to make a decent coat?Kered! Stop encouraging Venray!!! :ranty:

How much of my hair would it take to make you a new toupee?

[kered]

Kered! Stop encouraging Venray!!! :ranty:

How much of my hair would it take to make you a new toupee?

I don't know but I'll bet I'll be lovely.

[HeavenlyTickle]

I don't know but I'll bet I'll be lovely.Oh you will. A right sexgod. :D :p

[Mastertank1]

I have no idea. :upsidedow
I suppose you're far too classy to have ever associated with drunken Cockney soccer hooligans. :idontwann
When we had the World Cup in the US a while back, we put all the UK team's games in Yankee Stadium. The hooligan fans tried their usual running amok in the South Bronx exactly once. After that, they were on their best behavior; at least the ones who got out of hospital before the tournament ended were. :woot:

I wish Amsterdam was overrun with hamsters. :D But unfortunately, the last time I went, it was overrun with pidgeons and tramps. :shake:Lmao. I can so imagine that. :jester: Maybe they thought you were one of them...? :wow:
They probably did think that; they were probably right. Just a big old friendly bear, that's me! :wavingguy

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music!

[HeavenlyTickle]

They probably did think that; they were probably right. Just a big old friendly bear, that's me! :wavingguyAnd yet you have a tank in your signature? :wow:

[Mastertank1]

And yet you have a tank in your signature? :wow:
When I worked as a bodyguard/bouncer. Folks called me 'The Tank', like some kind of comic book character. I went with it because it projected the right kind of image for a pro bodyguard, and I got used to it over the years.
The particular tank in my sig was also the logo on my business card. It conveys an image of power, protection and unstoppability, all of which were characteristics people attributed to me in those days. That's why I used to get paid top dollar for my services.

I think animals and small children have always liked and trusted me on sight because they can sense that I'm a person who not only will never hurt them, but who will also protect them if necessary, which is actually quite true. Even, (perhaps especially) animals and kids who have been abused by others instantly seem to love me.

I've never been quite sure why this happens, but it's something I've been humbly grateful for all my life.

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music!

[HeavenlyTickle]

When I worked as a bodyguard/bouncer. Folks called me 'The Tank', like some kind of comic book character. I went with it because it projected the right kind of image for a pro bodyguard, and I got used to it over the years.
The particular tank in my sig was also the logo on my business card. It conveys an image of power, protection and unstoppability, all of which were characteristics people attributed to me in those days. That's why I used to get paid top dollar for my services.

I think animals and small children have always liked and trusted me on sight because they can sense that I'm a person who not only will never hurt them, but who will also protect them if necessary, which is actually quite true. Even, (perhaps especially) animals and kids who have been abused by others instantly seem to love me.

I've never been quite sure why this happens, but it's something I've been humbly grateful for all my life.Ohhh, I see. Yeah it makes sense. I wasn't denying your cuddlyness, :D I was just really wondering why you had a tank in your signature. But now I know. :upsidedow

A big strong bodyguard. *sigh* :angel: