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The Hamster....

V

venray

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A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."

"You're right," the guy says. "I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

"You have a deal, my friend," says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play...

"You're right... I've never seen anything like that before," says the bartender. "That hamster is really gifted."

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

"Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender.

"Watch this," replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing. The frog has a marvellous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

"It's a deal," says the guy. He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

"Are you some kind of nut?" asks the bartender. "You sold a singing frog for $300? It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Not Really, the man replies, "You see, the hamster is also a ventriloquist
 
The hamster can not only play the piano, but also sing and is a ventriloquist. The hamster was singing and throwing its voice to make it seem that the frog was singing. So the frog is worthless, just an ordinary frog. The mangy looking guy has tricked the other man into paying $300 for an ordinary frog.
 
milagros317 said:
The hamster can not only play the piano, but also sing and is a ventriloquist. The hamster was singing and throwing its voice to make it seem that the frog was singing. So the frog is worthless, just an ordinary frog. The mangy looking guy has tricked the other man into paying $300 for an ordinary frog.
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Ohhh I get it. :woot: Haha. :jester:


Thanks for explaining. Although I understood it before that of course. *cough* :angel:


And oooh... this proves that hamsters are smart. So :p to Venray and Kered. :D
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
Ohhh I get it. :woot: Haha. :jester:




And oooh... this proves that hamsters are smart. So :p to Venray and Kered. :D
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And they taste like chicken!!!.......... :veryhappy
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
Oh really? And what is it then? :rolleyes:
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How the bleedin hell would I know???? I've never seen a hamster play piano and ventriloquist at the same time.

I only ever seen them play on their wheel, which btw I believe they have their own fetish site about that as well.
 
Illtcklu said:
How the bleedin hell would I know????
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Lmao. I don't know. But I only just realised what you meant in the first place. :upsidedow

And, now that I get what you're blabbering on about... I will say this... the hamster didn't have a name... therefore it could have been Florence!
bleh.gif
Illtcklu said:
I've never seen a hamster play piano and ventriloquist at the same time.
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But you've seen one do them separately? :woot: Well, it wouldn't surprise me. :rolleyes:
Illtcklu said:
I only ever seen them play on their wheel, which btw I believe they have their own fetish site about that as well.
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Yeah... it's run by you isn't it? :p
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
... I will say this... the hamster didn't have a name... therefore it could have been Florence!
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Nope. It's a boy hamster.
 
It doesn't matter

HeavenlyTickle said:
The joke doesn't specify which sex it is. :p And seeing as you clearly weren't there, you can't say.
tongue.gif
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Because Florence can be a male name as well as female name.
ever hear of the Broadway and Film producer of the 1920s-1930s, Flo Ziegfeld? Flo was short for Florence! And Flo was VERY male; ask any actress, singer or dancer who ever auditioned for one of his productions!
(In those days, there were no sexual harrassment laws!)

As for you Heavenly, I think you are badly in need of a good, looooonng tickling by an American master. I volunteer to take care of that for you, if you can manage to get out here to Pittsburgh! :wiseowl: :woot:

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.
 
Mastertank1 said:
Because Florence can be a male name as well as female name.
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O 'ere we go... :rolleyes:
Mastertank1 said:
ever hear of the Broadway and Film producer of the 1920s-1930s, Flo Ziegfeld?
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No sorry, I wasn't born 'til the 80s. :p
Mastertank1 said:
Flo was short for Florence! And Flo was VERY male; ask any actress, singer or dancer who ever auditioned for one of his productions!
(In those days, there were no sexual harrassment laws!)
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Blimey. :wow:
Mastertank1 said:
As for you Heavenly, I think you are badly in need of a good, looooonng tickling by an American master. I volunteer to take care of that for you, if you can manage to get out here to Pittsburgh! :wiseowl: :woot:
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*giggle* :couch:

But who will look after Florence while I'm gone? :shock:

You know I once had a hamster called Tickles. She used to sit on my shoulder and tickle my neck with her fur. See... you can even find ticklephiles in the Animal Kingdom. Although of course you knew that already... what with Illtcklu being a member here. :jester:
 
I think making fun of hamsters is deplorable and I still refuse to be a part of this.
 
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kered said:
I think making fun of hamsters is deplorable and I still refuse to be a part of this in a pro cat thread.
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1) This is not a pro-cat thread! It's a pro-hamster thread! So nerrr to you. :p

2) Since when did you decide that it was deplorable? And if it is (well of course it is), why are still doing it? Hmmmm? :rolleyes:
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
But who will look after Florence while I'm gone? :shock:

:jester:
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I would be happy to ...er....Take care...of her for ya Love.... :firedevil
 
Two drunken cockney soccer hooligans

about to travel to Holland to watch Arsenal play a Dutch team;
First drunken Cockney; 'ere now! Woi do they call the place Amsterdam?
Second drunken Cockney; 'cause hits all overrun wif dam' 'amsters, is woi!

Or is 'drunken Cockney' a redundant phrase, like 'criminal lawyer'?

Heavenly, sweet lady, by all means bring Florence with you! I love small furry animals of all kinds, and so far every one I've ever met has loved me too. :cat:

My last GF had three cats, two dogs and three ferrets. The first time I visited her apartment (I think you call them flats over there), she told me that they all might be shy because none of them take to strangers at first meeting.
As soon as I walked in and sat down, the eight little furpeople were climbing all over me saying hello. :woot:

It was surreal. There I was, talking to a girl I was on a second date with, with a ferret sitting on each shoulder, a third ferret curled up on top of my head, three small cats in my lap and a dog cuddled up to each hip, absent mindedly petting all of them at random as we spoke. Even by my standards, that was distinctly odd. :jester:

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.
 
Mastertank1 said:
about to travel to Holland to watch Arsenal play a Dutch team;
First drunken Cockney; 'ere now! Woi do they call the place Amsterdam?
Second drunken Cockney; 'cause hits all overrun wif dam' 'amsters, is woi!

Or is 'drunken Cockney' a redundant phrase, like 'criminal lawyer'?
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I have no idea. :upsidedow

I wish Amsterdam was overrun with hamsters. :D But unfortunately, the last time I went, it was overrun with pidgeons and tramps. :shake:
Mastertank1 said:
Heavenly, sweet lady, by all means bring Florence with you! I love small furry animals of all kinds, and so far every one I've ever met has loved me too. :cat:

My last GF had three cats, two dogs and three ferrets. The first time I visited her apartment (I think you call them flats over there), she told me that they all might be shy because none of them take to strangers at first meeting.
As soon as I walked in and sat down, the eight little furpeople were climbing all over me saying hello. :woot:

It was surreal. There I was, talking to a girl I was on a second date with, with a ferret sitting on each shoulder, a third ferret curled up on top of my head, three small cats in my lap and a dog cuddled up to each hip, absent mindedly petting all of them at random as we spoke. Even by my standards, that was distinctly odd. :jester:
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Lmao. I can so imagine that. :jester: Maybe they thought you were one of them...? :wow:
 
How many hamsters would it take to make a decent coat?
 
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