Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.


Please select from the following options menu:


If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.


If you are
co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.


If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.


If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.


If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
MotherShip.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.


If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.


If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.


If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the
beep or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.


If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.


If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy
to talk with you.


If you are menopausal, put the guns down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie
down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.


If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up
anyhow."

Very funny! I enjoyed this a lot.... pass it on to the mother ship.

LOL
Very amusing.

Good one .................................. Belly! I loved the 69 one ........................... or was it 96?

i have seen that before but had forgotten it. thanks lol

Seen it before but loved the blonde bit added on the end.

tickleterror said:

Seen it before but loved the blonde bit added on the end.

Click to expand...

and just why is that??? o goddess tsk tsk tsk..

isabeau said:

and just why is that??? o goddess tsk tsk tsk..

Click to expand...

Hey I dont' make them up. I just cut and paste them.