> >> Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
> >> whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in
> >> white?"
> >>
> >> "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the
> >> happiest day of her life."
> >>
> >> The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So
> >> why is the groom wearing black?"
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as
> >> fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As
> >> she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
> >> Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was
> >> running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting
> >> her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed
> >> herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once
> >> again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be
> >> late...But please don't shove me either!"
> >>
> >> ###############
> >>
> >> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
> >> fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words
> >> on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem. They give him $50."
> >> !
> >>
> >> The second boy says, "That's nothing! My Dad scribbles a few
> >> words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song. They give him
> >> $100."
> >>
> >> The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a
> >> few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it
> >> takes eight people to collect all the money!"
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she
> >> requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
> >> instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They
> >> wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to
> >> take me out when I'm dead.
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you
> >> do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for
> >> backup."
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
> >> with her five and six year olds. After explaining the
> >> commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked
> >> "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
> >> brothers and sisters?"
> >>
> >> Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall
> >> not kill."
> >>
> >> #############
> >>
> >> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
> >> everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
> >> especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out
> >> of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed
> >> him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny,
> >> what is the matter?"
> >>
> >> Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think
> >> I'm going to have a wife."
> >>
> >> ###########
> >>
> >> Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing
> >> a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other,
> >> "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
> >>
> >> The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
> >> turned out. It's probably just your Dad."
> >> whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in
> >> white?"
> >>
> >> "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the
> >> happiest day of her life."
> >>
> >> The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So
> >> why is the groom wearing black?"
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as
> >> fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As
> >> she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
> >> Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was
> >> running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting
> >> her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed
> >> herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once
> >> again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be
> >> late...But please don't shove me either!"
> >>
> >> ###############
> >>
> >> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
> >> fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words
> >> on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem. They give him $50."
> >> !
> >>
> >> The second boy says, "That's nothing! My Dad scribbles a few
> >> words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song. They give him
> >> $100."
> >>
> >> The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a
> >> few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it
> >> takes eight people to collect all the money!"
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she
> >> requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten
> >> instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They
> >> wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to
> >> take me out when I'm dead.
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you
> >> do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for
> >> backup."
> >>
> >> ##############
> >>
> >> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
> >> with her five and six year olds. After explaining the
> >> commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked
> >> "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
> >> brothers and sisters?"
> >>
> >> Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall
> >> not kill."
> >>
> >> #############
> >>
> >> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
> >> everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed
> >> especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out
> >> of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed
> >> him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny,
> >> what is the matter?"
> >>
> >> Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think
> >> I'm going to have a wife."
> >>
> >> ###########
> >>
> >> Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing
> >> a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other,
> >> "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
> >>
> >> The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
> >> turned out. It's probably just your Dad."
