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You know you're a redneck when...

sole seeker

2nd Level Indigo Feather
Joined
Sep 18, 2002
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Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of... "You know you're a redneck when......

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
 
Very funny. They all merit posting in the Redneck Hall of Fame. That would be the largest mobile home in the park.
 
sole seeker said:
You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
OMG! I am sooooo guilty of this one!
 
Mz Chaos’ list of ways to entertain yourself with a flyswatter:

While listening to music:
Play it like a mini-guitar
If you have two… play them like drumsticks

See how many times you can flip a quarter like a pancake without dropping it

Flip it through your fingers from thumb to little finger and back (kinda like you do with a coin – or in my case – I did this also with my cane whan I used it)

Stick your finger through the hole in the handle and twirl it around (be careful not to whack yourself in the face)

See how many things you can pick up with it before it will no longer support the weight (this works better with the all plastic ones)

Backscratcher (not entertainment really… but it works – best if it’s new and not covered with fly guts)

Use it to mess with the cat (this is cool if they’re sleeping and you slide it underneath – freaks them right out)


So… is my neck a light pink or a deep crimson?
 
LMAO - now that's pretty entertaining, Mz.

Tells me two things:
One - You are a very imaginative, intelligent person!
Two - You have too much time on your hands!



freakin' the cat out. Now that's a mental picture! :jester:
Actually, I'm just kinda shocked to hear you admit you sit around playing with your puss. :xpeepsofa
 
I was always more partial to the "Fly Shooter" - it's shaped like a gun, but you put this thing on the end with a spring inside, and it has this round flyswatter-like disk on the end. It locks in place then you take aim and fire. There's a string on it so it doesn't fly off where you can't find it. Only seen it sold in RV supply stores. When you camp where there's no tv reception it's kind of fun to see if you can hit flies and other pests in mid-flight. (Course, it stuns them more then kills them, but once they're down you can take a killing shot....)

Rednecks aren't just from the south - or even from America. When I was in Ireland last year the tour guide was telling me all about rednecks and hillbillies. I don't know if it was part of his act to be like a stereotypical Irishman for the "yanks" but he seemed not to realize we have them over here in America too. :jester:
 
"You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it."
THATS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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